Premature Ejaculation

 

You know…I wish we had blogging back when I was a kid. My kids have so much more knowledge available to them via the internet. I was terribly naive as a youth even to this day on some level.

Our sex ed class was limited and even though I attended public school the teachers preached abstinence as the best form of birth control.

Recently I recounted an incident from my youth that I never fully understood and then it hit me.

Back when I was a girl, in college actually, I dated this guy. He was a super religious catholic boy. He was super cute and super sexy to me but he was also super square. I still get wet when I look at his picture.

I would joke that he went to confession whenever we were together to confess our sins from the night before. We never actually had intercourse but damn I wanted to. I felt such a chemistry with him and wanted to feel him inside of me.

Since he lived a bit of distance from me, I’d stay at his place on occasion if we were out late the night before. We’d kiss and fool around but damn, I could never close the deal.

There was one occasion, I slept over and in the morning I reached for him. We began to kiss. I had my eyes closed. I reached for his cock and began to stoke him. As I remember he had a nice cock and as I said, I longed to feel it thrusting inside of me.

I admit that I barely knew what I was doing back then. I mostly followed my instincts. I enjoyed feeling his cock in my hand so I continued to rub him. It was only a few moments until I felt a wetness, he pulled away and apologized.

I thought to myself, “Oh my god! What happened? What did I do? Did I do something good or did I do something bad?”

It is only recently that I started thinking about him and realized that he was over excited and came too quickly or am I wrong?

It’s a shame that we did not have the internet back then. I could have asked you all. Boy did I have a lot to learn! It’s amazing that I have managed to get this far in life without someone to explain these little hiccups that life has presented.

The Hug

 

Today would have been our twenty fifth wedding anniversary…I mean with Angry Guy. In the past when he was alive, I’d post something snarky on Facebook about how “Today would have been our ___ anniversary. Today I am celebrating that it is NOT.” I don’t feel mean and angry like that anymore.

The other day a song came on Spotify that made me think of him. Well to be fair a lot of songs on Spotify remind me of him since I made up the playlist. The playlist is not exclusively songs that we shared or that remind me of him. It’s made up of hundreds of songs that I just happen to like but for some reason a handful continue to replay and they happen to either be from the time period when we were at our best…or worst or from a CD that he bought me for my birthday, valentines day…whatever.  He bought me “Abbey Road” partially because he knew I’d love it which I did but also because it was not as offensive to him as the other music, I enjoyed so to him it was a win win.

I do not even remember which song I heard the other day that reminded me of Angry Guy but I began to tear up. I started remembering.

Sometimes at the end of the day when I was at the kitchen sink, he’d come up behind me and jokingly rub up against me. I say jokingly because it never led to anything. I always wanted it to but he was just teasing. Those were the days that I craved his attention…the days when I started to seek out attention from other men.

In the car, I remembered those nights. I tried to remember how it felt for him to touch me. He was big and forceful but I cannot feel him anymore. Maybe that is what started me thinking. I thought to myself and tried to remember if when he was behind me at the kitchen sink if I ever turned around and just hugged him.

I remember at our wedding the justice of the peace told us to look into each other’s eyes and remember how we were feeling so that during the bad times we would remember and find each other again. And now I am thinking what would have happened if I had turned around at the kitchen sink and wrapped my arms around Angry Guy and just hugged him.

Back then I remember being angry. I remember being desperate for attention. I remember being desperate to feel a hard cock inside of me. I remember getting to a point where I didn’t care if it was his or someone else’s hard cock.

And now I wonder if I had just turned around one of those times at the kitchen sink, looked him in the eyes as we had done at our wedding, wrapped my arms around him and hugged him how things would be different today.

To be fair that simply is not realistic. We had so many other problems. Sex was simply a symptom. I do find in interesting however that as time marches on, the bad memories seem to fade and the good memories push forward in my mind. Am I insane?

Esq 3?????

 

Good morning blogging buddies! How are all of you? I hope you are all living wonderful lives whether they be vanilla or on the dark side. I have been living my vanilla life mostly with a little twist. XXX is back!!! I know…RIGHT?!?!?!

Kitty and XXX are having a vanilla (ish) romance. I cannot help but laugh. Isn’t it every girl’s dream to end up with her adulterous lover? Is that some sort of urban myth?

Well, regardless XXX and Kitty are living the “dream”. Well…not quite but we are the best of friends and see eachother regularly and I have to say that XXX can make Kitty laugh which no man has really done since the good old days with Angry Guy.

So in addition to the XXX thing, I am really enjoying life. The funny thing about living vanilla is that you never know where or when life will take you to the dark side. I also love that so much crazy shit has been thrown at me over the years that nothing surprises me…NOTHING.

So the other day when I was sitting at a seminar for the first time since covid along with my bosses and co-workers, I was completely unphased when one of the attorneys sat down next to me and began chatting.

I immediately picked up a vibe from him. He was cute, very straight laced and in good shape. I always love a guy with a little rigidness and have found that attorneys are fun for me in bed because 1. The attorneys that I have been with have had pretty big cocks and 2. The attorneys I have been with are kind of assholes which to this day, I just love when it comes to fucking.

Sadly, the attorney skipped out of the seminar a few minutes early which sucked because I had planned on slipping him my business card. But before he left, he kind of slapped my arm and said “hey, I gotta run. I have an appointment.”. I said goodbye and tucked my business card back into my purse.

After the seminar my bosses and coworkers were teasing me as they have a tendency to do. They get a kick out of the fact that I always seem to be the one who attracts attention out there in the wild.

I decided to contact the attorney via email while I was still fresh in his brain and to be honest, I cannot help but wonder could this possibly be “ESQ 3”?????

After my initial email to him he invited me to lunch. Does Kitty still got it??? We emailed back and forth a bit and set a lunch date for this week. I have to admit that I am prepared either way. Will this strictly be a business lunch or will Esq 3 say something like, “My wife and I are in a loveless marriage and I am looking for a playmate.” ? Either way this crazy life has prepared me and I cannot wait to share the end result.

ABC

 

I went on vacation with Old College friend. That was quite nice actually. We had morning sex twice and I have to say that sex was so much better than the first time when Kitty was taken by surprise. 

OCF actually taught me a new trick. He worked Kitty’s clit by tracing the alphabet with his fingers. It turns out that worked like a charm and Kitty came in no time. I’ve even tried it with my little bullet since I’ve come home. I have some questions though. For instance did he use lower case or capital letters? Did he use print or cursive. I’ll ask him one of these days and experiment on myself in the meantime.

THE FALL-BACK GUY

 

Kitty has an old/new friend. Let’s call him the Fall-Back Guy for now but I am open to suggestions if any of you have a better nickname for him.

He’s younger than Kitty by about 9 years. We knew each other in school. He followed Kitty around like a little puppy dog and was the cutest thing. At that time Kitty was newly separated from Ex#1. I had a two-year-old and was in the midst of a terrible custody battle and divorce. The Fall-Back Guy was all of 19 years old. Can you imagine your 19-year-old son bringing home an older divorcee with a kid?!?!?!

So, a few months ago Kitty went looking for The Fall-Back Guy on social media. It turns out he’s quite accomplished in his field. Unfortunately, he lives cross country and in a completely different time zone. Bummer!!!

Luckily, he recognized Kitty right away and we have been texting and talking on the phone ever since.

So, The Fall-Back Guy is currently separated from his wife who coincidentally was a divorcee with a toddler when he met her. Poor Fall-Back Guy had an indiscretion as we all have and was caught. He is regretful and fighting to save his marriage, but I get the feeling he’s keeping Kitty on the hook as a back-up plan if you know what I mean.

Poor, sweet Fall-Back Guy! If he only knew what he would be getting into!

Kitty hasn’t been with many younger men but he’s just so stinkin’ adorable and talented that I may have to give him a little piece of Kitty.

Time will tell!

EXCITING NEWS!

Hello, Friends!!!

How have you been? I cannot tell you how much I have missed hearing from all of you. Well, guess what...Kitty is back!

I have some super exciting news! I will make the official announcement soon but looking for your support so STAY TUNED!

Something interesting that I've concluded is that even though I'm living and loving my vanilla life, I will always have a secret life. I suppose we all will. I am okay with it and not ashamed but there are just certain aspects of my life that I cannot share with others. I'm sure at least some of you can understand that.

Anyway, I will be back with my news ASAP.

Years Later

 I haven't seen XXX in years which is funny because we actually live in the same town now...opposite sides of town but still...

I still think about him, wonder about him. Is he still married? Is he happy? Probably not. He's just not the happy type but still, I wonder.

So last night even though I was picking up takeout from a restaurant just down the block from his house...a restaurant we used to joke about being for old people, I was somewhat surprised to see him walk past my car with his dog. He has a DOG!!! I don't see him as an animal lover. He looked kind of strange so I wasn't quite sure it was him. 

Without thinking I waved and smiled. He looked like he vaguely recognized me. I rolled down my car window. We exchanged pleasantries very briefly. "How are you?" yadda yadda. I made a quick joke about the restaurant.

It was a 60 second exchange and then I drove away passing him one last time but looking the other way. We pretended, I guess. HE pretended...

...that he didn't used to text me in the morning to meet him at his apartment after work.

...that he didn't used to fuck me from behind while we watched in the bedroom mirror

...that I didn't ride him reverse cowgirl style until we both came

...that just like the others he deceived me and discarded me for what he thought was someone better.

For those 60 seconds I pretended...

...that he didn't make me feel worthless by discarding me.

...that he didn't deceive me.

...that he didn't pretend to keep me close to make sure that I wouldn't tell his bat shit crazy wife.

...that I didn't cheat on my husband who I now realize was at one time the love of my life.

Years later...