Awkward Conversations

T-Bone and I talk on the phone just about every day these days unless of course he is travelling for work.

Some days we talk about his kids. Some days we talk about his wife. Somedays we talk about his work. We always joke and we always laugh. He can ask me anything and I will tell him the truth. I can ask him anything if I can muster up the courage. I NEVER ask about feelings or love or anything along those lines. Occasionally he will say something completely sexy to me and I have no idea how to react mainly because like today I was sitting at my desk with my office door open.

We had quick conversations about the use of condoms and he told me he wants me to “ride his cock”. Now how can Kitty reply to that statement while sitting at my desk with my office door open?

I SO want to be able to talk nasty to T-Bone because I know for a fact that he loves it.

There are two issues that T-Bone and I dance around from time to time and I just never know the right answer. I am dying to get him back into a nice private hotel room where we can really speak frankly face to face.

One question T-Bone continues to ask me is how his looks are compared to other men. Now T-Bone is cute in my opinion but I have tried over and over to explain to him that it is not his looks that turn me on. Okay, yes, his big hard cock makes Kitty wet. Just thinking about it makes me drool but what REALLY turns Kitty on is the way T-Bone talks, the things he says and the way he says them. He has a Jersey/Philly accent but he’s smart. He’s a little rough around the edges but then out of nowhere he will call me “Sweetie”.  JEEZ-US! I DON’T KNOW!!! I WANT to say the right thing to him but whenever the topic comes up T-Bone never seems satisfied with my answer. DAMN!

The other awkward conversation is of course the “are we seeing other people?” conversation. Right now the answer is “no” for both of us…I think. There is a part of me that doesn’t want to know. There is a part of me that doesn’t want to have that conversation because after all Kitty is supposed to be all about fun…RIGHT?!?!

But then there is that part of Kitty that gets hurt whenever I see that T-Bone has logged onto Ashley Madison. Or occasionally he will tell me about women hitting on him when he is out. Even when he talks about having sex with his wife gives me a little pang in the heart. I thought I could do this. I thought I could play with T-Bone without getting attached and here I am…attached.

So…as with everything else related to prowling Kitty has to just see what happens. When did playing get so hard?

Women are ASSHOLES!

Kitty has come to the conclusion that A LOT of women are assholes. Not all women…just a lot that I happen to be hearing about lately.

I’ve been hearing stories about XXX’s wife for years. T-Bone tells me stories about his wife and it’s a miracle he hasn’t hit her in my opinion. She sounds fucking mean as a snake.  Another friend of mine just told me that when he travels for work, there is “hell to pay” when he gets back. WTF?!?! This guy is traveling for work which I am thinking provides a pretty nice lifestyle for his wife. His kids are older so what the FUCK is her problem?!?!?! These women practically FORCE their husbands into Kitty’s arms!

This morning my kids were off to Sunday school. I was trying in the worst way to get out of going to the gym without feeling guilty. XXX couldn’t meet me for breakfast and of course my blonde trainer friend was full of empty promises telling me to text her in the morning to workout. I wasn’t at all surprised when I did and she said she was going out to buy rock climbing shoes. I am rolling my eyes as I type this because there are not FUCKING rocks to climb where we live!!! What an ASSHOLE!!

Okay so no problem, she blew me off so in my head I made my own workout plan. Then I get a text from her saying she needs my help with a playlist, Facebook and a menu for a party that she wants to have. So I text her back, "how about coming over now and we can work on it?" To which her reply was “gotta shower and leave town. Want to get there and back. Come with!”

What the fuck is wrong with her?!?!?! She asks me for help then can’t make fucking time for it?!?!?! Now keep in mind this is an ongoing thing with her and it drives me bananas. This chick is a TROPHY WIFE!!! She has one fucking kid!!! She can go shopping any other fucking day of the week.

And how thoughtless is she that she thinks I will just pick up and leave my kids to drive with her so that SHE can shop?!?!? WHAT AN ASSHOLE!!!

I considered texting her or calling her just to alert her how selfish and assholeish she was being and then I realized WHAT’s the POINT?

I received an email from a male reader the other day who asked if I have any female friends. I told him yes and could not explain why they are just not enough for me. Well…Hammer…if you are reading this…this is why I surround myself with men. Because WOMEN ARE ASSHOLES.

Where Did They Go?

I’ll admit that being busy at work is no excuse for not keeping up with my blogging buddies. For that I apologize. I have been trying to work and write my own blog and keep up with playmates. The other day when all my playmates were travelling I had the opportunity to check in to some of my favorite blogs which are listed to the right here if you are interested.

So low and behold when I clicked on the links several of them had been removed!!! What the fuck is going on here?!?!?!? Kitty needs her CRACK!!!!

So now of course I am feeling guilty and sad. I feel guilty for not keeping in touch and sad because whatever is going on with my fellow bloggers (who have become cyber friends) must be some bad shit for them to take down their blogs.

So if you happen to be reading out there and have removed your blog ( Riff, Adam and Holly for example) I still want to keep in touch and hear what is going on in your lives.

My love and best wishes goes out to all of you.

XOXOxooxoxoxox

Kitty's Good Deed

It may be hard for some of you to believe but beneath this cold and heartless woman who thinks nothing of fucking other men while my husband works his heart out for his family and the woman that he believes is loving and faithful is really a warm and giving friend.

Back in the fall when Kitty was going through my little “depression” for lack of a better word I agreed to help a friend of mine by walking her dog every day after work. At the time I was only working a half day and trying to stay out of trouble. I was also looking for ideas for starting my own business and since I am a huge dog lover some friends and I thought dog walking might be a good start. I know…what the hell was I thinking?!!?!?

Well, it didn’t take me long to realize that this dog walking gig was a terrible inconvenience. First of all Big Cheese and XXX both decided they wanted me to work more hours which meant that I had to come home, walk the dog then drive back to work which not only involved a good amount of driving but tolls as well.

I didn’t have the heart to let my friend down by quitting on her. She assured me that her regular sitter would be back at “the end of March”. So does that mean March 16^th or March 31^st????

Well, it is looking like it is March 31^st with no end in sight. I will be letting her know that March 31^st is it for me and I have let her know that my other employers have offered me more hours in April so I hope she is prepared.

The real issue with this whole thing is that it completely interferes with play dates. Originally that was a good thing. Over the past few months with the few play dates that I have had I have managed but SERIOUSLY…

I began using the time to talk to T-Bone on the phone. We had some nice long chats while I walked the dog but when we tried to plan a play date and I explained that I’d have to walk the dog before meeting him, T-Bone said “I’m about to get a gun and put a bullet through that dog’s head”. T-Bone was joking of course.

As I have told people these past few months when they tell me I am crazy, “I tried to do something nice for a friend. I made a commitment. I wanted to fulfill my commitment. I have learned my lesson.”

Apple Strudel

Last week all of my playmates were travelling for work. That’s no problem aside for the fact that Kitty was frisky and really wanted to PLAY. But Kitty took this opportunity to enjoy work and home life a little bit. As you all know I am crazy busy at work so I was able to focus more and Angry Guy is much more at ease when I focus on him and being a “good Kitty” which basically entails sitting next to him on the couch after dinner while he watches a game on TV.

I have to admit that I enjoyed the few emails I did receive from F and T-Bone. T-Bone was also emailing me pictures. He got a new phone and takes pictures of EVERYTHING then sends them to me. At one point he sent me a picture of his dessert which was APPLE STRUDEL. T-BONE WHAT THE FUCK?!?!? I opened the picture and gained 5 pounds just looking at it!!!

Now T-Bone and I are all about “busting each other’s balls”. In local language that means we tease each other endlessly. So now I call T-Bone “Apple Strudel” affectionately of course.

When I sat down to write this blog post I wanted to talk about T-Bone and how he makes me feel. We have only been together once but we talk on the phone and text nearly every day. We talk about EVERYTHING and we laugh A LOT. That is exactly what turns Kitty on.

So after T-Bone’s (a.k.a Apple Strudel’s) trip we talked on the phone and he once again began telling me stories about how awful his wife has been behaving. Now as T-Bone’s new and loyal friend I am completely disgusted by the way she treats him and at this point really have to hold back from calling her all the names that I want to. I really have to learn how to deal with this aspect of our conversation. Kitty really has to stop thinking “well if I were your wife I would…” Kitty can’t do that…not with T-Bone…not with ANYBODY.

T-Bone once again asked me if I thought he was attractive. He asked if I thought his Ashley Madison profile and pictures are alluring. Now am I the only one who thinks this is a conflict of interest???

I tried to assure T-Bone that his pictures are fine and he is an attractive guy but what I am unable to get across to my friend and lover is that it is not his looks that totally turn Kitty on. What turns Kitty on about T-Bone is his personality at least his personality towards me. T-Bone is very thoughtful and attentive to Kitty. Kitty LOVES that. At one point he had to abruptly end our call then texted me that he was sorry and did not mean to be rude. He also made a comment like “I always try to make time for you”. OMG! He totally does!!! My T-Bone always ALWAYS makes time to talk to me even if he is at work himself.

I have said before that T-Bone has a certain way of making me feel hot and desirable even though Kitty knows other men don’t see it. Now I am not going to harp on this because I am not a boo hoo type of kitty but there is a sincerity about T-Bone that I just adore.

Last but not least I don’t know if the banter between T-Bone and Kitty turns him on but it sure turns me on. When I hear him say “here we go!” when I start to tease him, it just makes me smile. I know that he is smiling too. I think he is so used to being criticized by Mrs. T-Bone that my teasing is an innocent game. I hope he enjoys it because I sure do.

Yesterday was Friday. We generally don’t communicate on the weekends and I know he has a lot going on with the Mrs. This weekend. She was having a party last night for her girlfriends. T-Bone wanted me to crash her party. There was a point when I thought Mrs. T-Bone and I would be friends if I weren’t fucking her husband but now after some of the stories T-Bone tells me about her I think not.

Anyway T-Bone gave me the signal to call him on my way home from work. He was stuck in traffic. When he answered he said “What’s going on Baby?” I got goose bumps. That’s the first time he ever really called me “Baby” and whenever he shows any type of affection it makes my heart melt. We had a quick conversation as we both drove home. He told me about his weekend events and then his phone went dead or cut off but we were disconnected.

I hope T-Bone is okay. That’s the problem with prowling. There’s never a way to truly know.

Should I Stay or Should I Go?

Last night while Angry Guy took his shower before bed I fumbled to get on line quickly to disengage my Ashley Madison profile…yet AGAIN.

I reactivated for all of 6 hours yesterday…maybe 8. I was disheartened earlier in the day by the fact that I am just not getting the attention that I want need crave. I did have a quick conversation with T-Bone and while I adore him to no end he is new to this game and still looking for other women…other opportunities. Me? I’m looking for that one special friend who I can meet on a somewhat regular basis to enjoy each other’s company…each other’s bodies.

While I was checking to see who was interested in Naughty Kitty on Ashley Madison I was also messaging my old friend Kittycat. She’s part of the reason I got into Ashley Madison in the first place only she saw the light. I always seem to be just a step behind Kittycat when it comes to these things. She asked me why I was back on. I told her that I’m lonely. I told her that I miss sex. The thought of going through this over and over horrifies me. How many more men will I meet in dingy hotel rooms? How many more strangers will I have to fuck before I realize that they are all the same? Even the way they claim they are different is exactly the same.

So I removed my profile and once again have to live my life as a married woman…monogamous by choice…not my choice but still…

Maybe it’s the fact that I have been awake since 3 a.m. Maybe it’s the fact that 4 completely different men have grown bored with me all at the same time…not to mention all the men before that. Maybe, he simply is just not out there for me.

Passive Aggressive Much?

Angry Guy has been Needy/Sad Guy lately. I tend to think it’s a passive aggressive thing that he does. Occasionally he will look me directly in the eyes and say “Love me?” WAIT!!! STOP!!! I’ve fallen for this one too many times before. I have taken this opportunity on several occasions to open a dialogue about our sex life…or LACK thereof. It never ended well. So taking the advice of so many wonderful friends I have adopted the “don’t do the same things and expect a different reaction.”

Now when Angry Guy asks “Love me?” I look him straight in the eye and tell him EXACTLY what he wants to hear. “Of COURSE!” I say. Last night he added, “Are you IN love with me????” Ahhh…he thought he had me there. Kitty has learned believe me so Kitty looked Angry guy right in the eyes and though of the wonderful things he does do for our family and managed to say “Of course. I am IN love with you.” Of course my kids were looming and my daughter made a big fuss of the whole thing by telling me that I should “tell Daddy that you love him more!” TRAITOR!

Does Kitty think Angry Guy is suspicious of my prowling? Maybe. Sometimes I feel a little paranoid after T-Bone tells me stories about how his friends catch their wives cheating. The only clue that Angry Guy can possibly pick up on is that I am no longer nagging him for sex and I am as pleasant as pleasant can be.

Before this opens a whole dialogue about why Angry Guy won’t fuck Kitty let me say that I have gone over this and over this for years. I have gone over it with friends. I have gone over it with each and every one of my lovers. Kitty has an idea why Angry Guy is not as sexual as Kitty but Kitty can’t force Angry Guy to see a doctor. Kitty can’t force Angry Guy to stop smoking, eat healthy, exercise. A wise friend of mine told me that her husband drives her bananas. They have been married for years and years. One day she told me “I can’t change him. I can only change my reaction to him.” I couldn’t agree more.