Adult EBay

Am I the only idiot who has never heard of Adult EBay? It’s like the back room of the video store where the “x” rated movies were…you know behind the black curtain.

My  friend taught me how to access it. I love how before you “get behind the black curtain of the website” you have to click on the warning acknowledging that you are 18 or older. I am wondering how they can tell if you are telling the truth. Is it by the touch of the keypad or is there some sort of surveillance camera where they can see you like in the stores?

Well at any rate I am well over the legal age to view this merchandise so I don’t hesitate or feel guilty.

Holy Shit!!! Over half a MILLION items up for sale!! What a sick world we live in. Well, there is no way in hell that I am going to go through every item so I will browse quickly. You know I am A.D.D. when it comes to this sort of thing.

Okay first thing that I noticed is that you can buy condoms on the site. I don’t mean to be a negative Nelly but there is no way in hell that I would buy condoms on this website. Something that struck me as funny is that the “Used” option is available. USED CONDOMS?!!??! Really??? Luckily there were no listings under this category. This gives me some hope that the world is not a completely deviant place.

Even if you bypass all of the books, movies, “collectibles” there are over 143,000 sex toys. DUDE, I have got to check this out!!

The variety of items was unbelievable. There was a plethora of every sex toy one can imagine from vibrating vaginas, vibrators (obviously), sex swing sets. Oh yeah, where the hell am I going to hang that??? I would fall right off I would consider buying one just to blog about but I bet my life that I would break my neck using it. One of my other blogging friends will have to take on the challenge. Kittycat?? You up for this??

Interestingly enough all purchases must be made in cash or credit card…hmmm. No PayPal??? What the hell??? Trust people…trust. I apologize but I cannot support the use of this website. It is even too questionable for me. Have any of you had any luck here? I’d rather wait until QVC starts selling an adult line. At least they have a 30 day return policy.

Friday Afternoon With XXX

The other day I worked with XXX. He made sure to keep me in his office for a nice long time. He does that partially so that I can earn money and I think he does it partially to keep me out of trouble. Either way I was glad to be there. Oddly enough his assistant was EXTREMELY friendly to me. It was her birthday which shouldn’t matter but she was super Chatty Kathy. I made a comment to XXX and said maybe I am sensitive to the fact that she monitors all of our emails. XXX confirmed that she probably realizes what is going on with us then began to tease me about the email that I sent him that one day that pretty much spelled everything out. I insisted that I was following his lead and figured he knew a loophole to get rid of the emails. He confirmed that he didn’t but didn’t care anymore. UGH! Well, whatever. What’s done is done. The funny thing is that XXX and I are an unlikely couple so if the rumor ever started at work I doubt anybody other than XXX’s assistants would believe it.

So the time came for me to work in XXX’s specific office. It was just the two of us. I was trying to help by doing some filing. I couldn’t help but picture XXX coming back into the file room with me. I thought about him coming up from behind me. I pictured him kissing the back of my neck with his hands on my waist. Then I pictured him bending me forward and fucking me from behind.

He did poke his head in to check on me a few times but he kept a safe distance. At one point we began talking about our sons. I started to tear up when he asked if I missed my son who is off to school. XXX came closer to me and tried to comfort me. He started to give me his platonic half hug but I wrapped both of my arms around him. Then he wrapped both of his arms around me. While it felt completely natural to look up at him and kiss him at that point I purposely did not.

Later after his assistant left for the day he and I stayed and chatted a little bit. We talked about the fact that he doesn’t believe in God which I find interesting given the fact that he grew up in such a religious family not to mention the fact that every time we were together in bed we are both exclaiming “Oh GOD!”

We talk more and more about our future together and less and less about an affair. We talk about traveling; getting our kids together and XXX even said he wanted to take me back to his home town.

We ended the conversation by talking about whether I should come into work on Monday or not. I said to XXX “You can always text me like you used to ‘alternative project’”.

As I was walking out the door I did not look back but I heard him say “I was thinking that very same thing.” Then I smiled to myself.

Ashley Madison Archive Encounter

He was already naked when I got to the hotel. He was waiting for me and laughed when we realized that I went to the wrong hotel initially. I was banging on room 112 of Econo-lodge while he was waiting for me next door at the Econo-motel. Not a good first impression.

He opened the door in all his glory inviting me in like an old friend and began to kiss me immediately before I put down my belongings.

I always lose track of the fact that these are actually first kisses. I offer a hello peck as a matter of habit and the men catch my lips for a longer lasting more passionate kiss which reminds me why I am there in the first place.

I ask to put my things down when he remembers that he left the lube out in his car so he throws on a pair of shorts and runs out to his car.

When he gets back he immediately strips down again as I remove all but my black bra and panties. We slip into bed together and he tells me to take the rest off.

Immediately we begin. He described himself as 7” but I have to say he seemed larger. The one thing that distinguished him from all of my other lovers is his constant talking during sex. Now I am not talking about just dirty talk. I am talking about full on CONVERSATION…like INTELLEGENT conversation. Perhaps he needs to read my blog about how I am unable to think clearly much less carry on an intelligent conversation with a big hard dick inside of me. But he doesn’t read blogs unfortunately.

So he is chatting away asking me all sorts of questions as I am sucking his dick none of which are related to my sucking his dick by the way. He’s asking what I do for a living, where I went to college, about my family. Finally I had to tell him “Look, I don’t have a family right now.” Luckily he understood what I was saying.

The thing that I really enjoyed about him aside from his big dick of course was he was just SO NICE! All he kept saying was how he wanted to please me. He wanted me to want to fuck him again. And every word out of his mouth was a compliment. Isn’t that what this whole thing is about after all? Aren’t we getting together to give the other person what their spouse will not?

He also gave me THE MOST INTENSE ORGASM OF MY LIFE. Now I have to say that although I went with it at the time, after he told me exactly what he had done to me I would not go there again. Suffice it to say it involved him behind me which is why I couldn’t see what was going on and there was a hell of a lot of pain mixed with pleasure. Once again, I went with it at the time but there will not be a repeat performance of that particular act but as he remarked, “Sometimes you gotta improvise.”

He was the one man that literally begged me to meet again. While the sex was good I just did not get a good vibe from him after a few more conversations. Kitty was lucky. Kitty chose not to push my luck.

Bipolar Kitty

This morning Kitty woke up in my usual frisky mood. No, I haven’t gotten any sleep and yes, I am still celibate. I have to say that the craters under my eyes have reached a new depth.

Yesterday I was in XXX’s office neighborhood and had to kill some time. He was working and his legal assistant was there so I asked if I could just sit and read. “Mi Casa su casa,” he said. So I sat side by side with XXX reading while he worked. We sat in silence which was sort of nice although I longed for him to turn to me and say “Let’s take a nap.” Which is his way of saying,” Let’s go to my place and fuck.”

I remembered an occasion when he actually did say that and we did fuck. I remember lying in bed with him then and feeling so relaxed and peaceful. I told him that. It was as though lying naked in his arms in his bed was my happy place…at least until he started to talk about serious things. That made me sad.

So this morning I dressed in my sexy jeans, boots, tight Christmas top from Angry Guy (which he didn’t even recognize this morning by the way), black bra and panties. Sure, I know the chances of ending up in bed with XXX this afternoon are slim to none but I feel sexier and for some reason can talk to XXX differently when I feel this way.

On my way to work I began to think about XXX and writing about him. Initially I was thinking about what a great catch he is for some lucky single woman. He is handsome, funny, well educated, makes a nice living, generous with his money and his heart and a faithful husband. I wish I were single because I would snatch him up in a second. I also started to think about fidelity. I often wonder if I could EVER be faithful to one man. Deep down I think I can. There is a part of me that thinks I could be faithful to XXX.

Last night when we were talking, we were talking about traveling. God, I would LOVE to travel with XXX. I think we would have an amazing time together. XXX admits that he and I would be a perfect couple in a legitimate world. The problem is that I am not looking to change my marital situation. I am not going to divorce Angry Guy so the potential for XXX and me to end up together happily ever after is non-existent. In addition, I have the karma thing going on. See, even though he doesn’t dwell on it, XXX comes from an EXTREMELY religious background. While he never preaches to me, he believes in fidelity for himself and so has kept pious all of these years with what has been going on with his wife. I am on the opposite extreme and he knows it. During that Ashley Madison period I would pretty much fuck any guy that was breathing with an erection. My point is that XXX has good karma and even though he is going through a hard time right now I truly believe that he is going to end up with a wonderful woman. Me on the other hand…well…my karma in the long run will not be good I am afraid.

Another thing I was thinking about was what a great catch XXX is except for the fact that his wife totally fucked him in the head. And now to make matters worse their son is having difficulties and so now XXX’s “cunt wife” has managed to fuck up SEVERAL men (XXX, her son from her first marriage and her little boy with XXX). That just pisses Kitty off because good men are so hard to find. It kills me that another woman fucks these guys up.

So basically this morning I went from waking up in a relatively good mood to sadness over XXX. This is the same sadness I felt when XXX and I were fucking. It was a sadness of lost hopes, dreams…lost potential. It was a sadness for the life that I might have had, could have had, will never have.

Today, I am bipolar Kitty.

Kitty Changing Her Spots

Kitty is trying really hard to be a good kitty…a “different” kitty. Mainly I am being myself because basically I am a good person. I am trying to show XXX that I have changed grown and that we can go back to our playtime without any repercussions.

OF COURSE I realize that I am just kidding myself. But a kitty can TRY can’t she? There are times when XXX and I are working or having a conversation and things are just great. I think to myself “We can do this. We can make this work.” XXX is always blushing and is always just a little uncomfortable at first but within a few minutes he is back at ease. So for the most part things are good.

Then there is the occasional incident when Kitty feels rejected or lonely and I look to XXX for comfort and when he doesn’t respond the way I want him to I revert back to my insecure ways. Kitty really has to work on that…and I am.

Last night XXX and I were texting. I was bored and he was drinking which is never a good combination. We texted back and forth and played for a little bit. He had just had a text fight with his wife so I was trying to make him laugh via text which is nearly impossible.

In some ways texting is a valuable tool in others it is a dangerous weapon. To make a long story short the drunker XXX got the worse the text conversation went. We ended the conversation with me telling him that I am worried about him and that I love him. Then he said he was wasted and we had to talk in person in the morning. So you see things really haven’t changed very much around here. I didn’t get any sleep at all last night…not that it is a new thing.

I began thinking about the sex between XXX and me. It was good as I remember it although when things went south I told myself and you all that it wasn’t. My main issue in bed with XXX was that I concentrated so hard on trying to take care of his needs and help him cum that my own orgasm went by the wayside. This morning I sit here wondering if that would change the second time around. Maybe not. Kitty can’t help but be a people pleaser, particularly in bed. That in itself is a turn on for Kitty I suppose.

This morning I texted XXX that I was sorry about the whole thing and don’t want to make him feel uncomfortable and certainly don’t want to create drama. That is just one thing that makes XXX different from the other lovers I have had. We don’t play games. If he wants to say something he is more careful for the sake of hurting my feelings but in the long run we say what we want to say to each other.

We will always be friends XXX and I. The question remains, will be return to being lovers?

Kitty’s Withdrawal

This morning was another one of those holidays when Kitty had to work but nobody else did. Kitty thinks that SUCKS! And yes, to answer your question Kitty IS still celibate and obviously cranky. So I had to work today. Big Cheese had to leave town to go to a funeral so he was gone. Now everybody knows by now that left to my own devices I will not get much work done. So I started the morning out by reading some blogs and checking my personal email. I know. I didn’t start off on the right foot especially on a Monday.

I chatted a bit with my Little Latino Helper then I texted XXX to see if he was in. We were texting all weekend. We weren’t naughty texting…well…HE wasn’t. The nice thing is that when my son left for school and I was driving home in tears I was thinking of texting XXX then decided against it. About an hour later he texted me just to ask how my weekend was going. That’s nice isn’t it? So throughout the weekend we just checked in here and there.

I asked him this morning if I could come visit him. Now let’s be honest. Kitty was hoping to sneak a little kiss in especially since my “French Kiss” post ran today and for all of his faults, I always loved kissing XXX. So I went to his office and he of course was in no mood for love. That’s right, his wife pulled her shit and he was in a crappy mood. Now, I happen to love XXX. I mean it. I have affection for him. Now my love for him is on a platonic level and can probably go to the next level given the circumstance but for now we are friends and when I saw the pain in his face I could only listen to him and try my best to make him laugh. He of course repaid me by telling me that I looked like I am losing weight. See, just another reason I love him.

He started calling his wife a “cunt” again which made me smile. No, I wasn’t smiling because I was right about her. I wasn’t smiling because XXX is obviously hurting and I wasn’t smiling because he tells me that I was right almost every conversation we have anymore. Kitty was smiling because whenever XXX calls his wife a cunt his sparkling blue eyes light up and twinkle. His lips curl in such a way and even though I know he is angry, he is just so damn handsome. Also I can’t help but think that maybe one of these days I will get that text…you know the text that he wants to have angry sex. Because after all, as long as he is not angry with me, angry sex can be pretty damn nice.

After that I returned to my office and had a visitor from the cute attorney down the hall. He was in a chatty mood and most of the time I don’t mind but I was beginning to stress a little over having some work done for Big Cheese when he returns tomorrow.

While I was chatting with my friendly local attorney, another friend began a Yahoo chat with me. I didn’t even realize that I was signed in. So my Yahoo friend who shall be nameless has been perturbed at me since I wrote those blogs about being blindsided. Even though I did not mean for those blogs to be offensive he took offense to them and has been a little frosty.

Kitty really missed this particular friend and wanted to make nice with him because as I told him I really DO adore him. He would be perfect for Kitty if only he could give me some one on one time but alas he is a busy man.

So Kitty and friend were chatting online and I don’t know whether he wanted to tease Kitty or TORTURE Kitty but he turned on his web cam. As soon as I saw his face my heart melted. I can’t explain what it is about him but he really does make my heart go pitter patter. His features are rugged yet he is handsome. He is growing a beard and he was dressed for working outside this cold January day so he looked particularly rugged except that he was wearing his reading glasses which reminded Kitty that yes, he DOES have a vulnerable side and THAT is what makes Kitty wet. YEAH! I SAID IT!!!

Then Kitty’s naughty friend began to undress. He had many layers of clothing on. First he removed his flannel shirt…then his thermal shirt….then he exposed that he was wearing long johns. Okay now this just reminded me of John Walton from “The Waltons” and damn if that guy wasn’t handsome and hot in his long johns!

So my naughty friend then began to take off his long johns exposing his fully erect cock. And damn was it a sight for Kitty’s sore eyes! Now ordinarily Kitty is not one for the webcam or that sort of thing. In general it makes me uncomfortable. But this particular friend happens to enjoy putting on a striptease and I have seen him naked so really it was like when we were together only I couldn’t touch him. I couldn’t feel him. I couldn’t LICK him. That made Kitty sad. Seeing him made Kitty a little lonely and made Kitty SHAKE LIKE A JUNKY!!!

Yes, Kitty is still celibate but I am not happy about it. I am not happy about it at all.

Things That Do NOT Make Kitty Wet

Kitty has been getting some grief over the expression “___ makes Kitty wet”. More than a few of my friends have said “What DOESN’t make you wet?”  They say it like it’s a BAD thing! Can you imagine?!?!?!

Now I am not sure how much my male readers know about what happens to the female body when a gal gets to be my age but at my last doctor’s visit my doctor warned me that my sex drive may be deteriorating or even DEMINISH! Well, Kitty told that doctor that I have never been so frisky and the doctor said “If we could bottle what you’ve got we could make a fortune.”

So Kitty is not going to apologize for getting wet over things that some of you may think are trivial. I did however try to think of a list of things that do NOT make me wet. Here is what I came up with:

1.     Laundry does NOT make Kitty wet

2.     Michael Buble does NOT make Kitty wet

3.     My particular line of work and those that work in it do NOT make Kitty wet

4.     Having sex in my car which happens to be a minivan and reminds me of the fact that I am a MOMMY does NOT make Kitty wet

Okay really? I think you get my point. So, see…there are at least four things that don’t make Kitty wet. Don’t make me think of more. My head is starting to hurt from all this concentrating.