The Investigation

 How are you all enjoying the summer? The summer and fall are my favorite times of the year. Okay to be truthful, I love the spring as well. I'm coming out of my busy season in the spring and can enjoy the beach and beautiful weather before all the tourists come.

This summer has been nice. I've been working alot on my house and it's just such a nice place to be in my vanilla life. Ah...my vanilla life. In general, my vanilla life is wonderful. Oh of course Kitty has the usual family drama with the kids and stuff like that, but work is good, Kitty has alot of great friends and is officially an empty nester which is pretty awesome.

So, the other day Kitty was having a conversation with my son. We have become very close. He has grown into a fine man a confidante'.  He started telling me a story. He started telling me about a substitute teacher that he had back in grade school. I remember hearing about this substitute back then. She worked with Angry Guy when she was on summer break. She seemed to have a crush on Angry Guy. This much I had known.

I hadn't ever seen her and never knew her full name. The kids called her by the first initial of her last name. At the time I never thought to be jealous or threatened. The kids were young so they would just mention that she was their teacher for the day and had said "hi" to Angry Guy.

I don't remember Angry Guy having any kind of suspicious reaction when the kids talked about her. This was all before Kitty started her prowling...YEARS before. I never gave it much thought...until my son started telling me...

Apparently, this substitute was Angry Guy's "Type". I never noticed he had a type but the kids have and teased him about it. I guess I teased him a little bit too.

The substitute also had his cell phone number which means he had hers. They may have communicated via text because my son pointed out that the days the substitute was there were the days that Angry Guy conveniently picked the kids up from school which is particularly comical because that was just one of Angry Guy's least favorite activities.

It's not like my son to dwell on one of his father's faults or to accuse him of anything especially since he has passed so I began to pay very close attention to what he was telling me. He was suspicious that perhaps Angry Guy was fucking this substitute.

So, because we lived in a small community and because Kitty is still friends with many of the kids' old teachers, I asked around. My son could not remember the substitute's exact name. He remembered she was petite, dark, young and dressed slutty but he could not remember her name nor could any of their old teachers so Kitty let it drop...or so we thought.

Last night Kitty was out with my son and he told me that he was using some of his sources to investigate further and find out her name. Once he finds her name he will find her contact information. There is a part of me that is curious why he is going to the trouble. I doubt he would reach out to her. He is expecting me to make the call whether to pursue the issue or not.

"Why do you need to know?" my vanilla friends ask. Kitty knows that I have no right to be angry. I know that. I can be hurt though, right? My vanilla friends tell me if they were the substitute they would lie if they were fucking Angry Guy. So if we were to find her she may lie anyway,

My answer to my son and friends is I'd like the closure. That may or may not have been when Angry Guy's mental health began to falter. It may or not may have been the time when Angry Guy started to pull away from me, from our kids, from the beautiful life we built.

I'm not angry. I'm not hateful but I'd like to know. I'd like the closure. I understand that the bad things I've done throughout my life and my marriage possibly do not afford me the right to closure or peace of mind. 

Maybe just maybe some of the good things I have done in my life will win back some karma or at least a few truthful answers.

.So let me ask you, If you were Kitty and had the opportunity to ask the substitute if she fucked your husband but wanted the truth, how would you proceed?