The problem is I'm not always good at letting go. I've made some friends here and I don't want to lose them. I can't say that I have any regrets. I believe everything we do shapes us into who we are today. As I watch my kids grow into adults, I think of myself at their age. I was a "good girl". I led a relatively sheltered life. I got married very young, had a baby, got divorced...RE-married and had more kids. It wasn't until I divorced Angry Guy that I really did the things I should have done in my 20's. I don't regret that.
Interestingly enough my 20 something daughter has become quite active sexually. It's to be expected right? I mean the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. Am I right? So the other day Kitty's little kitten started talking about threesomes. All I could think was, "You go, Little Kitten!!!"
I think the thing that has affected me the most is the death of Angry Guy. Since his death I've been helping the kids settle his estate. We've been going through old pictures and old videos. I have to admit that when I watch some of those early videos I fall in love with Angry Guy all over again. Our kids have chosen to believe he was my one true love. I can't say that I disagree.
As a result of all of this self reflection I have lost my lust for...well...lust. I have no interest in any of the men from my past and really no interest in anybody currently. So now what?
