Birthday Kitty

The other day Kat posted a blog that I thought was very appropriate not to mention it expressed my thoughts about how a man should treat his mistress to the letter. Please read this ESPECIALLY if you are one of Kitty’s lovers/former lovers/potentiallovers. Basically the premise at least from my perspective was that a little bit of thought and consideration goes a long way.

Now Kitty never EVER asks or expects gifts from my playmates. I do however appreciate attention and consideration. It turns out Kitty’s birthday was a few days after Kat’s post so I was curious to see how or IF the men in my life would acknowledge the occasion. Can I just say that Kitty is definitely an “It’s the thought that counts” kind of Kitty. So on my birthday I sure felt the love affection from a lot of my wonderful playmates. I received emails, e-cards, texts…lots of texts…so many that Angry Guy was like “What the fuck is going on?!?!?!”

Among my wonderful playmates that thought about me were Jiminy Cricket, My Client, Bad Boy who texted me just before midnight and again the next afternoon. Bad Boy gets extra love points for that. Angry Guy treated Kitty very nicely and bought me a wonderful gift that will make my workouts all the more enjoyable. And Kitty even got a surprise “Happy Birthday” email from The Ex.

If you are among my playmates that were unaware of Kitty’s birthday please don’t fret. Kitty is not a whore for attention on my birthday. I am just extra touched by those around me who take the time to let me know that they are thinking about me and for that Kitty feels blessed. Thank you to all my wonderful friends. I had an amazing birthday.

Bad Sex Karma

I am a big believer in karma. You wouldn’t think so but I am. So “Angry Guy” and I have this constant struggle. See, I have a much stronger sex drive then he does. I could have sex nearly every night. “Angry Guy”…not so much.

We have gone around and around about this. I feel as though he is not attracted to me which of course makes me eat which of course makes me even less attractive. I have tried to lose weight out of anger for him. Like “fuck you Angry Guy! If you don’t want me I will be so hot that everybody else does!”

The funny thing is that Angry Guy is a pretty jealous guy. He doesn’t trust me around any man except maybe Big Cheese and maybe XXX which is pretty ironic but I gotta tell you they are looking pretty hot to me now.

The idea of him being jealous is hysterical to me because there is not exactly a line out the door waiting for this little lady to become single. In fact if I ever WERE single again, I doubt there would be any takers.

I will admit that I am pre-occupied if not obsessed with sex. This is possibly because I rarely get it anymore which makes me sad because I do enjoy it.

Believe me I have thought about this situation thousands of times over the years that Angry Guy and I have been together. Apparently I have always wanted sex more than him. I was always up for the quickie before work and then the longer session after work. He was always the one that said he couldn’t function at work after that. I used to think of it as a compliment. Now I am looking back just thinking that he didn’t have as much of a drive as I do. I look back at all the times we slept together before we were married and think that he was able to do it every night when we were together because we weren’t together every single night like we are now.

I have asked friends both male and female “What the fuck?” Am I the only woman out there who wants sex more than my husband?? Well, my friends have come up with the following explanations as to why my husband seems to be the only living man out there who refuses sex with his wife…me.

Generally my male friends say he is gay. Okay, I ASSURE you that is not it although I have on occasion joked about my Ex possibly swinging in that direction. I have wondered if maybe Angry Guy's nationality is just not as sexual. Angry Guy is English. Maybe the English aren’t as horny?  I know Italian men have quite the libido though so his nationality is an option.

 My other friends say maybe his health is a factor. That seems like the most likely idea to me. Here’s the thing though. Angry Guy NEVER goes to the doctor and I am not about to start nagging him about going now. He is a chain smoker and at least 50 pounds overweight. I am sure this has SOMETHING to do with it but I am not his mother and feel strongly that if it is not important to him to be healthy for his wife and children then all I can do is stay healthy for our children.

The last and unfortunately the thing I tend to lean toward the most is that Angry Guy is simply not attracted to me anymore. He loves me…I mean WHO WOULDN’T?!?!? I suppose the physical attraction is just not there for him. This hit home for me several times but I revisited it last night. I was reading a new book and one of the characters is in a similar situation where the husband was simply not attracted to her…just like that. This is obviously where my feeling of “I am going to get so hot that other guys notice me” attitude is coming from. I know this is juvenile but I am over it already.

Angry Guy has a whole repertoire of tricks and excuses to avoid having sex with me. He uses work as an excuse when he is working. On his days off he uses being stressed about upcoming work as an excuse.

The thing that really gets me is that he will flirt with me all day long. He will grab me and kiss me and make remarks about wanting more. This gets me crazy. This is foreplay right?? I heard Sting does that shit for days with his wife. Maybe Angry Guy is training me for a life of tantric sex with Sting. No thank you!

Anyway, I have made sure to communicate with Angry Guy on several occasions that whenever he wants sex from me he will get it so when he does the flirting thing it is really disappointing to me when I go upstairs to read and I know he is downstairs waiting for me to fall asleep.

I have tried everything to deal with the issue. I have made threats which of course backfired. I have pleaded…no good. And I have acted indifferent. Basically indifferent is where I am now it used to tear me up inside. Thank God for Ashley Madison!

Whenever I make a comment about sex with other men around I generally hear things like “Angry Guy is a lucky man.” XXX used to make the comment whenever we were in bed.

I hate to tell XXX that even if his wife lets him back into the house their sex life will not improve. Yes, I am bitter but I am also a realist.

More and more I have decided that this is bad sex karma for me. When I was married to the Ex he wanted sex all the time. He sort of repulsed me at the time so I acted pretty much the way Angry Guy acts with me…without the flirting part.

I know you are asking why I ever married the Ex in the first place. Hey, we looked good on paper. At the time I was not enlightened about sex so I figured I could deal for 50-60 years. It turns out I was wrong. The Ex used to climb on top of me which was a total turn off. Anyway I am trying to block it out so I don’t want to go into detail. Bottom line is that I know how Angry Guy feels and I don’t want him to feel worse but why should I have to repress all this great sexual energy?

The ironic part of this whole thing is that the Ex is now taking blood pressure medication which I understand fucks with a man’s ability to have an erection. So it turns out the Ex has a little bad sex karma himself.

Forgiveness Day By Naughty Kitty

Kitty is sad today. For a change it has nothing to do with kitty. Kitty is sad about something with my Ex. I know…I know…yes, Kitty has an Ex and although we have had our differences in the past today I am sorry for something terrible that he is going through.

I won’t bore you with the details but suffice it to say that I feel so bad that I emailed him to let him know that I am thinking about him and his family and I am here for him if he needs me. The funny thing is that he is probably one of a short list of men that I would not fuck. There is no physical attraction there whatsoever. What we do share is a history as well as a wonderful child that we are both very proud of.

There was a time when Kitty had very bad feelings for the Ex but those days are long gone. We have been apart for nearly 20 years now and although we are not exactly social with one another we have come to a point where we can be civil to one another for the sake of our child. It took us a long time to get to this point. It took KITTY a long time to get to this point. Kitty is not known to always take the high road.

So at any rate the Ex and I exchanged a few emails this morning and I ended them by offering my friendship and a shoulder to cry on and I am sincere in my offer.
In the midst of this email exchange I also needed to clear the air once and for all with XXX. He really HAS become a bad penny hasn’t he?

Well we were both in the office early today and began emailing each other about my schedule for the week. I think I initiated the email that said "can I come into your office to talk to you about something?" He of course said "sure!" Personally I think XXX over uses the "!" but who am I to criticize.

So I walked over to XXX’s office and he was alone and eating his breakfast. Again, he looked like shit and I asked him what was up with his eyes and again he said allergies. Okay, whatever.

So I said to him "I miss my friend." And I really meant it. Before our trip down into the gutter, XXX and I were really good friends. We used to talk about everything…obviously.

After I made the comment XXX made the faux "I’m sorry face" and in his phony concerned voice said "How ya doin’?"

So I said "I’m great, I just miss my buddy." He gave me that faux look again and I had to laugh and say "Honestly your ego is incredible! I don’t miss my FUCK buddy! I miss my BUDDY! JEEZ-US! You weren’t THAT good!"

At this point XXX looked at me in amazement. I guess it was the first time anybody dared to tell him that he wasn’t as hot as he thought he was and then I guess he remembered that I never could have a decent orgasm when I was in his bed so he rescinded and sort of smiled.

After that he told me briefly about the progress he was making getting back into his house after being separated from his wife for 2 years. We talked about my constant battle to sleep through the night and finally about some business ideas. He of course recommended that I try to do something with my writing. "You are a good writer," he said. I laughed thinking to myself that he really hasn’t read any of the blogs that I wrote about him after he broke my heart.

Then he asked the question that I know he has been wanting to ask me for weeks. XXX looked me right in the eye and asked how my "AM friend" was. Now it is MY turn to smile.

Overall today started out sad but ended up being a day of true forgiveness for Kitty.