Tuesday, July 31, 2012


I am longing for him today. I wonder if he feels the same way. I long to see his smile. I long to hear his voice calling out my name. I long for his kiss. The last time we were together I waited for that kiss, ever so gentle. I long to feel his touch also gentle. Running his hands and his mouth over my body thoroughly making me crave more. I long to hold his cock in my hands and then my mouth…deep in my throat as I suck the tip of its head. I long to feel him inside of me. Oh it doesn’t really matter in which position. I love them all…with him. I long for him. I wonder if he feels the same way.

Monday, July 30, 2012

Don't Ask Don't Tell

Kitty just made a huge mistake. Don’t ask me why. My “Don’t ask don’t tell” policy was working so well and in my opinion was the key to my success with Hammer. Okay, that and a few wonderful fuck sessions.

Hammer was away with his family this week and although Kitty managed to stay occupied, I did miss his morning emails. I refrained from texting him to see how things were going. This morning I received a text from him saying he was on his way home but was having car trouble. See, patience IS a virtue! We texted back and forth a little bit about meeting again and what Hammer’s requests for our next fuck session might be. Oh yes! Kitty LOVES requests. I am thinking of adding that to my JDate profile. Do you think the Jewish men might like that?

So Hammer and I were having a naughty little sext session and then I did it. I asked if he got laid. Why oh why did Kitty do that? Well…the good news is Hammer was honest with me. The bad news…well…

What is that old saying? “Curiosity killed the Naughty Kitty”?

Friday, July 27, 2012

Kitty No Speeky Da Englis

Kitty has all but given up trying to talk to Angry Guy. Oh, we talk about surface topics. We coordinate schedules and when I will be working, when I can help him pack, oh today he asked if we could still share our membership to the wholesale club which costs all of $35. Those topics for the most part are no problem. More often than not though I will repeat myself over and over and he will claim I never said what I KNOW I said…in English…VERY clearly and without any food in my mouth.

The reason I am questioning myself now is because I am having a similar problem with XXX only not on such a serious level. I was working with XXX yesterday. We were alone which was a really nice change. Both of his assistants were out of the office. XXX and I are more relaxed when his assistants are gone. He was extremely touchy/feely. XXX is generally a touchy/feely person as is Kitty. When his assistants are in we both refrain. Yesterday he was holding my hand and rubbing my shoulders on occasion. I know you think he was coming on to me but I assure you he was not.

Of course we discussed our personal situations and the fact that we are both sort of single at the same time. I told XXX that the anniversary for the first time we fucked is coming up in September. He asked me how I wanted to celebrate. Oh COME ON!!! Kitty only wants to celebrate any occasion ONE WAY!!! I looked at him and gave him my devilish smile. His crystal blue eyes sparkled and he smiled his knowing smile.

Then we moved on to the topic that we have all been waiting for…if and when XXX and Kitty are going to get together. Well…That’s where the whole speaking English thing comes in. Now I don’t know whether I am not speaking clearly, or I am simply speaking a foreign language but DAMN! It seems like XXX and I go over and over this and I say the same thing over and over…

So XXX said yesterday “I wish we didn’t work together. We would be such an awesome couple if we didn’t work together.”

To which my response was “Work isn’t the problem. We were fine when we were fucking and working together. The problem is your fucknut wife.” XXX smiled and agreed and I continued by saying,

“Listen; now that I am single I am not fucking around. I am not putting up with any bullshit. You are awesome and we would make an awesome couple but there is no way in hell that I am going to fuck you then have you break my heart the next day because your fucknut wife decided she can’t handle you moving on with your life.”

If I have said this once to XXX I have said it a million times. So why doesn’t he comprehend? Tell me…am I speeky da englis???

Wednesday, July 25, 2012

Threesomes With Bad Boy

Last night I had another marathon phone conversation with Bad Boy. He’s funny because we will be in contact via text or email constantly then we will take a break for whatever reason. I always wondered why he came in and out of my life the way he did but always knew that it had to do with his dating situation. He more or less confirmed that the other night. That makes sense though. Obviously when he is single he has more time to play with Kitty.

So among other things Bad Boy and I began talking about a threesome. Now that Angry Guy and I are parting ways, the idea of meeting Bad Boy is more and more realistic. Our only obstacle is the fact that we live cross country from one another. At some point we both agree that we will pursue the travel and meet.

So Bad Boy has taken it upon himself to introduce me to the world of threesomes. Thank you Bad Boy! You are a fine teacher. Now the funny thing is that now that I have my freedom from Angry Guy, I no longer crave things like threesomes but in the interest of research for my blog I am deciding to go along with the idea of a MMF threesome with Bad Boy. Oh…you are SO WELCOME!

By the way if you are reading this Bad Boy, that was a joke. I am really up for a threesome with you and another man that you have hand selected. The previous comment was merely Kitty’s smart ass attitude coming out. You may need to spank me over it ;)

Okay so I was thinking about it and how awesome would it be to have yet ANOTHER first under the guidance of Bad Boy. Let’s not forget, he taught me how to give a hand job, a blow job and how to swallow…OH and he was also the first boy to ever finger fuck Kitty. So it only makes sense that he blazes the trail for me through my first threesome.

As I told Bad Boy, the idea of a threesome for me now is not as much of a burning desire. Parker (my young friend) asked me if I would go through with a threesome. I told him that I would only with certain partners. Bad Boy is top of the list. There is a certain trust that I have for Bad Boy. He assured me that my safety would never be in jeopardy and I have every confidence that that is true. To me that is a deal breaker.

Bad Boy asked me to describe my thoughts on how a threesome might go and so…

My fantasy would be to fly down to see you and arrive at the hotel with time to unwind and relax and enjoy a nice glass of champagne and a bubble bath.

You and I would have dinner reservations. Yes, a romantic dinner but casual. I am dressed entirely in black aside from the red bra and panties I am wearing underneath my short black dress. Although my dress is conservative it is clingy and low cut revealing just a hint of cleavage. To be honest I am not all that hungry but the dinner is important. You and I need to reconnect in person. I need some time to look into your eyes and drink in your smile. You always had a beautiful smile.

I am not drinking at dinner. I want to have my wits about me. I want to feel you on every level. It’s been a long time. I want to enjoy the entire experience. After all how many times does a girl like me get a “do-over”?

You ask me toward the end of our meal if I would like to take a tour of your city. I say that I would love to in the morning but am starting to feel a headache coming on then I give you a little wink. I am not sure at this point if you understand my ploy or not but you agree to take me back to the hotel.

I invite you in and look into your eyes hoping that you are thinking what I am thinking. I am hoping that you are feeling what I am feeling. You tell me that you will walk me to my room which makes me feel at ease not only because I want to fuck you but because the idea of going up to an empty hotel room in a strange city is a bit daunting to me. I am still a country girl at heart I suppose.

We walk into the room which has been prepared for the evening by the service. The lights are on but turned down to a romantic hue and the bedspread has been removed exposing a luxurious king size bed. “That bed looks so big for one person,” you say.

I lay down my purse and turn to you. You close the door behind us and hold my face in your hands then begin to kiss me. It has been such a long time. I forget how your mouth feels on mine and yet it feels like home.

You move your hands down the side of my body slightly pressing up against me. You run your tongue inside my mouth which immediately makes me wet and makes me moan at the same time. I want this moment to last. The anticipation is mounting and I am dying to get out of my clothes. More importantly I am dying to get YOU out of your clothes but I choose to wait. I want to enjoy every moment. We have all night. This is a rare luxury for me and I want to savor it.

I slip off my heels and my dress leaving me in thigh highs and the red panties and bra. I begin to undress you as we kiss first unbuttoning your shirt. You take off your pants and shoes then I work my way down. I kiss my way down your neck then run my tongue down your chest, stomach grabbing the waist of your underwear in my teeth and quickly working them off to expose your huge hard cock. I sigh as I quickly remember looking at it as a young girl in wonder.

My initial response is to put it in my mouth. I smile at the idea that you were the reason for all of this and then I proceed to suck on you. I enjoy you in my mouth much more than I did as a young girl. I savor the head of your cock. I run my tongue up and down the shaft. I can’t get enough of you. I want you inside of me but am enjoying sucking you. I am sucking you hard and you are moaning standing.

“Move over to the bed,” you tell me. I stand and walk over with you behind me.

“Get on all fours,” you command. I am wet with anticipation. I prepare myself for the unknown. I am excited and frightened at the same time. What will come next? I truly have gone back in my head to those days of our youth when you gave me commands and I had no idea what the outcome would be.

I feel you behind me. You rub your cock up against my ass and run your fingers quickly over my clit. You move your cock into my pussy. I moan with pleasure. You begin thrusting. Each thrust sends me to a place of ecstasy. I am in my own world hardly paying attention to my surroundings. I hear your voice. At least I THINK I hear your voice and then you are in front of me but still thrusting behind me. Wait...it takes me a moment to realize that there is another person here…another man.

“Suck my dick,” you tell me. And I do with pleasure. The feeling of being fucked from behind by an unknown stranger along with the thrill of sucking your cock and feeling completely safe with you makes my head spin and my body quiver. In no time I am cumming as I hear the man behind me moaning as though he is cumming.

“Get on top of him and ride his dick,” you tell me. The unknown man immediately pulls out of me and rolls on his back on the bed. I climb on top of him. He feels so good. His cock is as big as yours and hard as a rock. I move up and down then lean forward to let you in from behind. You slide your cock in my ass. This double penetration almost immediately makes me cum but I don’t want to yet. I want to enjoy the sensation. Things are moving too fast and I have lost all control.

Before long I am exhausted and wondering where you two men get all of your energy. I am completely full and satisfied when you put me on my back and begin to shoot cum at my face. My eyes are closed and my mouth is open. I am tasting your cum and remembering once again our youth and your direction. Again I am smiling at the idea that things have come full circle.

“I’ll clean up,” I say.

“Leave it,” you reply.

You come over to the bed where I am now sitting. You lay me down flat and begin kissing me starting at my mouth then down my neck to my breast. You begin sucking my nipples. I know I am covered in cum but that does not seem to bother you.

You climb on top of me and throw my legs over your shoulders. I grab for your hard cock and find it quickly then put it inside of me. You begin fucking me and it feels amazing even better than several men at once.

I look into your eyes and see that you are about to cum. I feel your body tense and at the same moment my body succumbs and I cum too.

We fall away from each other both exhausted. I am paralyzed. My body has never felt so spent. My body has never felt so much pleasure at one time.

Friday, July 20, 2012

Can I Just Say...

That J-Date and Jewish men in general SSSSSSUUUUUUCCCCCKKKKKK!!!! Yeah, I know I am going to get a lot of shit from my Jewish friends for this but DUDE!
Let me just say that well over 60 Jewish men have viewed my profile and I have only been contacted by three. Okay let me just say that all three looked and sounded like pedophiles and one didn’t even seem like he was actually Jewish. In fact he seemed like he was some crazy evangelist that wanted to convert me.

So the whole J-Date thing is a complete bust and quite frankly a huge waste of money. Now you all are going to say that my profile must be lacking but I assure you I had several consultants on my profile and I am pleased with that. Yes, I’ll admit that my photos are not the greatest but guess what? These guys are not exactly handsome either!

So what the fuck is the problem? Why the hell are these guys so damned picky? JEEZ-US! I am a highly educated, attractive woman with one hell of an awesome personality and sense of humor. KITTY IS A CATCH!!!

I have a mind to post my Naughty Kitty blog address. Maybe that would give these drips a rise.

Thursday, July 19, 2012

The "D" Word

More and more of our acquaintances are finding out about Angry Guy and me splitting up. Believe it or not HE is the one telling them. I can only imagine what his warped side of the story is. Actually I already know what it is. So I posted my own semi private announcement on my vanilla blog not too long ago. It’s funny because one of my male friends commented “I am sad but not surprised.” I hear that a lot. Angry Guy doesn’t believe it. I must have given an Academy award winning performance because Angry Guy still claims he is completely shocked. It’s funny to me how when we fight he brings up shit to hold over my head from YEARS ago but suddenly he doesn’t remember that I was so distraught this past fall that I sought out therapy. He has also conveniently forgotten that we have the same nasty, dirty, ugly argument every 6 months to a year and I am just tired of it.

The important thing and what I want to write about is “Support”. How men and women who end long term relationships are treated by their friends, their families and the general public. Having gone through this before I am not surprised when my siblings roll down their shades, so to speak, and lock their doors. I’m not sure…do they think I am going to ask them for MONEY?!?!? I never have before so why the hell would I start now?

My married female friends start out being supportive then slowly distance themselves from me. Is it because I have touched upon something that they all wish they have to courage to do? Some of them for sure have rocky relationships. Hey, I’ll admit, this whole thing is scary. Everybody is in my ear about being able to afford the whole thing financially.

So are they saying I should stay in a bad marriage for the money??? Call me crazy. Call me selfish but there is no way in hell that I am going to do this for another what? 5…10…20 years?!?!?!

In the meantime things here are hectic. Angry Guy has found a place to stay not too far away. The kids are fine…or will be once he goes. In the meantime we are strong. We are healthy and we are free.

Tuesday, July 17, 2012

I Don’t Know WHY it Works…It Just DOES

For those of you who don’t know about Kat’s Blog or JJ’s Blog, please take a moment to read them. I have identified with Kat as many of us do for months now. I have been wanting my very own “J.J.” for just as long. I searched and searched like the little bird in “Are You My Mother?”

Some men were nice but I just could never find that one special man until I stopped looking. Then low and behold I found Hammer…or rather Hammer found Kitty!
I won’t bore you with the details of how we emailed back and forth for months before we finally met for lunch. I won’t bore you with how Hammer read my blog faithfully during that time and waited patiently until I finally saw the light.

So here we are…finally…Hammer and me. We are the perfect fit. I don’t know why. We just ARE! Maybe it is because he is kind to me. Maybe it is because he is gentle. Maybe it is because he makes me cum. I may never know why or how. I just know that it works. We are good. He makes me happy. I don’t feel like I constantly need his attention. He has his life and I have mine and then I get that special email from him…you know the one…the “I’m horny and I want to fuck you this week” email. Those are my favorite emails of all.

We enjoy our time together and when it is over we go back to our lives. Sure, I think about him through the day, through the weekend, in the morning as I am waking up and feeling that tickle down below.

Don’t ask me how. Don’t ask me why it works…It just DOES. I have found my perfect fit. I have found my J.J.

Monday, July 16, 2012


I deal with a lot of “agents” in my line of work. Not talent agents. More like federal agents at least I think that’s what they are called. Okay for the sake of simplicity they are AUDITORS. Even though I am not technically a receptionist or secretary I answer the phones and anybody who doesn’t know me would automatically assume that I am the receptionist.

So anyway there has been this federal auditor that has been calling Big Cheese to try to wrap up this audit that’s been going on and on. Now Kitty being the playful Kitty that I am tends to toy with these auditors especially the men.

This one guy’s voice sounds like Roz from “Monsters Inc”. He would call up and complain about his job or whatever. He would call when Big Cheese stepped out to get the mail so I would try to keep him on the phone until Big Cheese returned. As a result we have had some pretty silly conversations. Oh yeah, Kitty is just as silly at work as I am on my blog.

So the other day this auditor called and in the midst of our conversation he told me I have a sexy voice. Now I happen to hate the sound of my own voice but this guy made the comment which I posted jokingly right onto my Facebook status. Sure enough later in the day I got a text from none other than Bad Boy who confirmed that yes, I have a sexy voice. That Bad Boy! You can always count on him to add fuel to the fire.

So this morning wouldn’t you know that the auditor called before Big Cheese got into the office. I told him that he was just silly to expect Big Cheese to be in by 9:00 a.m. and he was clearly calling just to talk to me.

He agreed then told me I need to send him a picture of myself in a bikini. Now COME ON! Kitty doesn’t wear a bikini! Sadly Auditor Guy and I had to end our conversation before we got any real information about each other. I did find out his age which is a good 13 years older than Kitty.

Now the audit has come to an end so Kitty has to rely on Big Cheese to describe Auditor Guy since it doesn’t look like we will ever get to meet in person. 

Thursday, July 12, 2012


It wouldn’t be fair to tease you all with my Tuesday post about meeting Hammer and then not follow up with how our play date went. I didn’t actually discuss writing about it with Hammer but I am sure he wouldn’t mind me sharing a few juicy details.

First let me tell you that Hammer’s comment on my blog about our upcoming date made me wet first thing in the morning. To add to the excitement he sent me a few texts through the morning. I LOVE naughty texting with Hammer especially when I know I will get to work off some of the horniness with him in the near future.
We arrived at the hotel just about the same time. When we went into the room Hammer began freshening up in the bathroom. I could see him from behind and can I just mention how sexy Hammer’s ass looks in a pair of jeans? It really didn’t take much more than that to get me worked up.

I remained clothed and lay on the bed while he began kissing me and touching me in all the right places. There is something so warm in his kiss. Something that makes me forget all the stresses and unpleasantness of the day.

We began undressing and I had to smile when I caught sight of his big, beautiful, hard cock. I smiled because this was just what I had written about. He sat on the bed and I stood before him as we kissed. He unhooked my bra and immediately began sucking on my nipples which caused my pussy to immediately long for him inside of me. I fought the temptation this time. During our past play dates I was quick to put his hard cock inside of me. I wanted to savor today and we did. We played and fucked and boy was it delicious.

As he was on top of me thrusting and thrusting I heard a smoke detector in another room. I couldn’t help but think “shit! This is going to be one of those days when we are evacuated still naked and end up on the news!” He didn’t seem distracted and since he is in that line of work more or less I relaxed into his thrusting as one by one the smoke detectors around us began to sound.

Now the one thing that I just love about Hammer is that I can tell him EXACTLY what I want in bed and he will make sure it gets done. After our last play date I asked if he could make sure to fuck me from behind the next time we meet. I love that he remembered that and made a point of taking care of Kitty’s needs.

We lay in bed talking and catching up. It was really nice and a much needed escape for Kitty. As we lay with me curled in the fetal position and Hammer up close behind me rubbing my back just the way I like it, there was a knock at the door. I silently thanked God for holding off until we were done playing. Hammer went to the door and I scooted into the bathroom.

Apparently they were testing smoke detectors and it was our turn. Can you believe that shit?!?! I grabbed my cloths and ran back into the bathroom returning fully clothed. 

Two men came in as though nothing out of the ordinary was happening. As though it was quite normal to disturb a couple in the midst of adulterous fucking to test the smoke detectors. One big dopey one looked at me and smirked. I didn’t see the point of hanging around and watching them so Hammer being the gentleman that he is walked me out to my car, kissed me goodbye and sent me on my way. All in all not a bad day.

Thank you Hammer. Next time it’s YOUR turn to make requests…anything you want…that’s right…ANYTHING ;)

Wednesday, July 11, 2012

Wishy Washy

I just received a text from XXX. He and his wife were supposed to get their divorce finalized today…but they didn’t. He said they both showed up to court and they both “balked” and then…


When I think about it, this really has nothing to do with me. I assure you Kitty WILL be signing those papers. Oh sure, I am sad. Don’t get me wrong. But when I think of living just one more day the way I was living…well…it’s just NOT GOING TO HAPPEN!

Even though this thing with XXX doesn’t affect me one way or another, it does make me think. Why are people so wishy washy? I mean I am tough, I know. But when I make a choice, I own it. It is particularly unappealing to me when I come across women and men in particular that can’t make a decision and stick to it. To me it would be like living in limbo constantly.

At this point XXX doesn’t know if he is divorced or not. I wonder what his new girlfriend thinks about that.

Tuesday, July 10, 2012

It’s Tuesday

It’s Tuesday. We are meeting today…Hammer and I. We haven’t seen each other in a few weeks? Months? We’ve kept in touch. Don’t get me wrong. But as we both knew, getting together over the summer would be tough. The day is finally here. I hope he is ready for me.

I wonder how he would like me to start. God, I’ve missed his rock hard cock. I’ve missed it rubbing up against me as Hammer and I have that very first greeting kiss. As gentle as that kiss can be I feel his cock growing. I miss seeing his cock bob out as I undress him and free his cock from his pants. I miss running my hands on his cock, stroking it firmly as I fall to my knees and put it in my mouth. I miss feeling the head of his cock on the back of my throat and feeling his hands gently holding my head.

I miss feeling that cock inside of me. I miss when Hammer pulls his cock completely outside then plunges the entire thing back inside my pussy all at once…over…and over.
I miss when he tells me to turn over and I look into his eyes. He has a smirk on his face and I just know he is going to do something delicious to me from behind.

It’s Tuesday. We are meeting today. Are you ready for me?

Monday, July 9, 2012

Coming Clean to My Sister

The other day I had to come clean to my sister. We are not particularly close which is a shame. I actually have several sisters. We are civil to one another for my mother’s sake but it’s doubtful we will maintain contact once my mother has passed. Part of me is sad about that but then I remember that when I divorced my first husband each and every one of my sisters ducked and covered. Not one of them supported me. No problem. I obviously survived and THRIVED.

So this time around I told my sister just so that my mother would not feel uncomfortable keeping a secret. I couldn’t decide how or when to tell her so the other day when she emailed me I went that route. I just sent her a quick and casual email. It was kind of like “the weather here is great and Angry Guy and I are splitting up.”

Sure enough she called and left a voicemail for me. When I called her back she was supportive on the surface. In other words she was trashing Angry Guy and rooting me on. The funny thing is with my sisters, I never know whether they root me on like this because they are truly happy for me or because they WANT me to fail.

I never used to feel this way. I would do just about anything for my sisters. I would really support them if one of them chose to leave their husbands. I am happy for their successes and sad for their losses. The fact that they don’t feel the same for me doesn’t bother me anymore.

And so now the truth is out…well…SOME of the truth.

Friday, July 6, 2012

J-Date Guy

So I finally heard from J-Date guy. I have to think of a name for him. He’s one of these guys that has a lot of side businesses and is a wheeler and dealer. Not typically my type but let’s face it, I’m not looking for a husband so if I get a few fun evenings out of it then I am in!

When I think about it Ashley Madison really HAS helped me in this new arena. There seem to be so many people on these dating websites that are desperate to “find the one”. I don’t think I will EVER want just one. And so, my secret life will continue. In my opinion if you are “dating” and if Kitty chooses to have another “friend” that’s not cheating. Others may disagree. Don’t get me wrong, I am not trying to pretend that I am not a prowler or a “cheater”. Yes, I cheated on my husband and would have continued to do so had I not found the opportunity to end our marriage.

So J-Date Guy called me yesterday. He is into talking on the phone as opposed to texting or email. This sucks for Kitty because I have a ton of shit going on around here and I hardly have time to chat on the phone for hours at a time. But since this guy is so cute in his pictures and has such a sexy voice I decided to indulge him.

He is older than me but not TOO old. He’s Hammer’s age I think only Hammer comes across as much younger. Jewish guys act old even when they are not. J-Date Guy is a talker. He talks and talks and talks, which drives me crazy. The interesting thing is at one point in the conversation he used the word “fuck”. I repeated what he said and also used the word “fuck”. He immediately notified me that he is turned on by a woman who uses profanity. DING DING DING DING!!! Here I am!!!

The conversation at this point began to turn toward sex. Kitty has no problem with that. Now Kitty has two skeletons in my closet in this new dating arena. 1. This is my second marriage that is breaking up. That’s a red flag for any guy looking for a long term relationship and/or marriage. I have tried to work it into the conversations relatively early on to get it out there. Although XXX says that I shouldn't. 2. I cheated on my husband…A LOT. Now that’s a biggie and one I choose to keep to myself. Yes, Naughty Kitty has decided to maintain my anonymity.

So J-Date Guy began asking me when the last time I had a great “make-out” session with my husband. I told him “years”. Technically this is true. Then he said “So I would be your FIRST?” There was a part of me that WANTED to come clean. In the back of my head there was a video running of all the men I have been with over the past several months. There was a part of me that was thinking about and yearning for Hammer.

I held my breath and closed my eyes and half heartedly said “Yes”. He seemed pleased. He seemed honored and admittedly turned on. I rationalized it in my head that he actually MIGHT be the first after Angry Guy and I officially split.

The interesting thing about this part of the conversation is that he was fascinated with my openness about sex. He was excited about my love for the act. He told me that Jewish women have a reputation for not wanting to “please their man”. I assured him that I do not feel that way and I don’t.

So this thing with J-Date Guy may be interesting. But in the meantime I have come to the conclusion that Naughty Kitty and my secret life are here to stay.

Thursday, July 5, 2012

Orthodox Guy

I spoke with my first contact from J-Date the other day. He is Orthodox which I did not realize. For those of you who don’t know me, I practice but am not nearly THAT religious. This guy keeps kosher ALL THE TIME. He speaks Yiddish A LOT (which I don’t understand), he is cute but he is ANGRY. He makes Angry Guy look pleasant.

Don’t get me wrong, he was pleasant to me but damn did he talk a lot and DAMN was he bossy! I totally see him being controlling and he didn’t let me get a word in edgewise.  I had to keep reminding myself that I am not obligated to meet this guy. He SCARED me. 

I told him a tree fell on my house the other day during a storm and he went on and on about the insurance appraisal and “Make sure they look at this…and make sure they look at that.” I told him I have a cold and he said “Drink clear liquids and take Clariton…and NO ORANGE JUICE.” When I told him I had a half a glass of orange juice he lectured me about it not being “clear”. Can I just say “JEEZ-US!”

I couldn’t get this freakin’ guy off the phone. I wondered how he might be in bed. Now you all know that I want to fuck a true blue Jewish guy. This guy would be perfect…if I could just duct tape his mouth shut.

Wednesday, July 4, 2012

Independence Day

This Independence Day is particularly special to me. In the past Angry Guy and I had a joke about the Fourth of July. It was the first time Angry Guy and I fucked when we started dating. He joked that when he came he saw fireworks. I reminded him that He DID see fireworks. That was 18 years ago. Almost every Fourth of July since then he would give me a knowing smile but not necessarily give me sex.

This particular Independence Day is special because it will signify MY independence…from Angry Guy. Yes, August 1 he will be moving into an apartment. It is difficult for me to contain my excitement. I am not trying to be cruel here but he has been so miserable for so long that the idea of not having to deal with that on a daily basis makes me feel relieved. Even the kids notice it. He is continuing to say awful things to them and all he is really doing is pushing them away.

I wish Angry Guy the best. I really do. I am certainly going to be fair as far as dividing our assets. I am not looking for any more than I am entitled to and I have promised to be flexible with visitation with the kids. He will be living close…close enough for the kids to walk if they want to although they won’t HAVE to.

Several of my friends have already told me that they are noticing a “new” me. They tell me that when I was with them I always seemed on edge. I acted like I needed to get back to Angry Guy. They are right. I always felt that way. I became fearful of him, not physically but if I took too long wherever I was he would lecture me or worse interrogate me.  

I tell my friends that this is actually the “old” me. I am just back from a REALLY long prison sentence. The change in my personality happened so gradually but the old me took no time at all to re-surface now that Independence Day is coming.

Tuesday, July 3, 2012


For those of you who don’t know what “J-Date” is, it’s the dating website for Jewish people. As a goof the other day I signed up. I was joking around with XXX since he is on Match.com. So I told XXX that I was going to sign up for J-Date because I saw a few doctors and lawyers on there so I thought “Why not”. Sure enough as soon as I entered my credit card number those damn doctors and lawyers evaporated. WTF?!?!

Suddenly all that was left are “partially educated” men with food babies, bald heads  and bad teeth. It’s an interesting transition for me to go from Ashley Madison to J-Date for several reasons. First of all I got a lot more interest on Ashley Madison. I don’t know if the men were less particular, desperate or just nicer but DAMN! Those men on J-Date are TOUGH! I have to admit that although I had some help writing up an amazing profile, my pictures are not the greatest but DAMN! Give a lady a break will ya?!??! I mean these men are particular.

Now XXX more or less promised that I would “have dick falling out of my pockets” as he likes to say. Not the case. I have had some men view my profile but not nearly as many as on Ashley Madison and certainly these men are not following through and contacting me.

It’s funny because I can’t get used to the idea that these guys offer up their real names and cell phone numbers up front. QUITE different than Ashley Madison.
There was one guy. He thanked me for viewing his profile. I don’t remember actually viewing it but I responded to his email. He seems extremely nice. He has decent teeth and is older which we all know Kitty LOVES an older man. We made arrangements to speak on the phone but due to extenuating circumstances we missed each other.

Needless to say Kitty is going to have to sit back and just see what happens with this one.

Monday, July 2, 2012

Back In The Saddle

Can I just tell you all how excited I am at the prospect of dating again? Dating has changed drastically since I was single. Online dating has revolutionized and I for one am going to embrace it. Really I have to add that my experience on Ashley Madison will help me cope with the ups and downs of sites like Match.com and J-Date. I was thinking about it this morning.

How strange is it going to be to communicate with a man and not have that communication centered on fucking? It might be pretty nice actually. How nice will it be to go anyplace I want to and not worry about running into someone I know? How nice will it be to slowly build up the anticipation from date to date so that sex may possibly be more than…well…just fucking?