Thursday, July 5, 2012

Orthodox Guy

I spoke with my first contact from J-Date the other day. He is Orthodox which I did not realize. For those of you who don’t know me, I practice but am not nearly THAT religious. This guy keeps kosher ALL THE TIME. He speaks Yiddish A LOT (which I don’t understand), he is cute but he is ANGRY. He makes Angry Guy look pleasant.

Don’t get me wrong, he was pleasant to me but damn did he talk a lot and DAMN was he bossy! I totally see him being controlling and he didn’t let me get a word in edgewise.  I had to keep reminding myself that I am not obligated to meet this guy. He SCARED me. 

I told him a tree fell on my house the other day during a storm and he went on and on about the insurance appraisal and “Make sure they look at this…and make sure they look at that.” I told him I have a cold and he said “Drink clear liquids and take Clariton…and NO ORANGE JUICE.” When I told him I had a half a glass of orange juice he lectured me about it not being “clear”. Can I just say “JEEZ-US!”

I couldn’t get this freakin’ guy off the phone. I wondered how he might be in bed. Now you all know that I want to fuck a true blue Jewish guy. This guy would be perfect…if I could just duct tape his mouth shut.


WestsideTori said...

Sounds like a 'no' but you can just meet him anyway. Surprised that an Orthodox guy is open to a Reform gal.

Do the really Orthodox do premarital sex, though?

Naughty Kitty said...

Believe me when I tell you that these guys seem to think they are too good for Kitty. I am not meeting Orthodox guy more his choice I think than mine. Oh also, they all want to be pursued. WTF is THAT about? Kitty is all for equality but I still like to be the woman on occasion.

Anonymous said...

but if you tape his mouth shut, how will he be able to go down on you? a terrible dilemma

Naughty Kitty said...

Don't think I didn't already wonder that ;)