I spoke with my first contact from J-Date the other day. He is Orthodox which I did not realize. For those of you who don’t know me, I practice but am not nearly THAT religious. This guy keeps kosher ALL THE TIME. He speaks Yiddish A LOT (which I don’t understand), he is cute but he is ANGRY. He makes Angry Guy look pleasant.
Don’t get me wrong, he was pleasant to me but damn did he talk a lot and DAMN was he bossy! I totally see him being controlling and he didn’t let me get a word in edgewise. I had to keep reminding myself that I am not obligated to meet this guy. He SCARED me.
I told him a tree fell on my house the other day during a storm and he went on and on about the insurance appraisal and “Make sure they look at this…and make sure they look at that.” I told him I have a cold and he said “Drink clear liquids and take Clariton…and NO ORANGE JUICE.” When I told him I had a half a glass of orange juice he lectured me about it not being “clear”. Can I just say “JEEZ-US!”
I couldn’t get this freakin’ guy off the phone. I wondered how he might be in bed. Now you all know that I want to fuck a true blue Jewish guy. This guy would be perfect…if I could just duct tape his mouth shut.