They Can't Stop Thinking...

I guess he can’t stop thinking about Kitty. I mean he JUST got married this past summer and he’s reaching out to me already? I can’t say that I am surprised. He was trying to get with Kitty before he finally tied the knot. He’s one of those guys that swears once the ink is dry he’ll be faithful. YEAH RIGHT!!!

But Kitty has changed. Married men don’t necessarily appeal to me anymore. Wait…let me rephrase…NEW married men don’t necessarily appeal to me these days. Kitty is quite content with the few married lovers that I have and then should Kitty meet a new single prospect…well…we will cross that bridge if and when we ever come to it.

So yes, Kitty owes you all yet another apology for dropping out of site. But Kitty’s vanilla life is quite busy leaving no time for Kitty to write not to mention trying to keep things sexy for you all.

In reality, yes, Kitty still has sex but as I said to a blogging buddy of mine, it’s not the “dirtier the better” sex that Kitty has had in the past. The sex Kitty has been having is more fulfilling. Kitty’s lovers have been around for a while and so our sex has become familiar and comfortable which is nice for Kitty but maybe not so exciting to read about.

Ahhh well. I do want to wish you all a Happy and Healthy 2017 and please feel free to email Kitty. I love keeping in touch!!

Bringing it Home

Kitty received a very sexy email the other day…well…it was sexy to Kitty. See, Kitty and the Traveling Salesman were making plans to meet. He gets a really nice hotel suite nearby and he’ll pick up some wine while Kitty will try to provide a snack of some sort. Last year on New Years I made up a beautiful, festive fruit and cheese tray. The last time we met I made chocolate fondue only something went wrong and it was a terrible disaster. So as we were making our plans via email I told him I might try the fondue again since it bothers me that it was so bad the last time. I asked him if he had any cravings.

His response which Kitty found terribly sexy was, “I crave you.” Damn! Don’t ask me why but to this day that line makes me wet even knowing the truth about the Travelling Salesman.

It is difficult to describe the Traveling Salesman. First of all, we have been fucking for a year now and I don’t believe he knows Kitty’s name…and I mean my FIRST name. I find it funny and sexy and pathetic all at the same time. It just kind of got lost in the shuffle. At first it was a game to conceal it but now it’s simply too late for him to ask. 

I’m not quite sure. Maybe he wants it that way.

So our usual routine is that kitty goes to meet him at his beautiful hotel suite. He had laid out a beautiful spread on the coffee table in the living room area. He set out two plates, forks, napkins a cocktail shrimp plate and two glasses of wine. Kitty arrived and quickly got the fondue together which by the way was perfect this time.

We sat and chatted for about an hour which is actually quite nice. We talk like friends about family, work and then he excuses himself to go to the bathroom.

“I got you a gift,” he said on his way back to the couch. It was a candle. Kitty loves gifts from lovers all though they are few and far between but just the thought makes 

Kitty wet and making Kitty wet buys extra cock sucking for that person.

We began to kiss and although Kitty adores the Traveling Salesman he just does not have the skill set Kitty is used to. Kissing on the couch is very awkward so we move to the bedroom. We kiss and I can feel that he is already hard. We undress and slip into bed but this time Kitty knows not to go down on the Traveling Salesman. Kitty has the need to feel his cock inside of me and going down on him gets him too excited. Kitty gets the feeling that the Traveling Salesman is vanilla all the way. Try as I might he will not admit to any fantasies or desires. Kitty does most of the thinking. In fact he never even hinted that he’d like kitty to suck his cock and when I did he lost all control.

This time however Kitty played it safe. As we lay in bed kissing Kitty rubbed the Salesman’s cock and we found ourselves in the perfect spot for Kitty to roll on top of the Salesman so I did. Typically Kitty prefers the man to take control but “Desperate times call for desperate measures” as they say. As soon as I put his cock inside of me, I could tell by the look on his face that he wasn’t going to last long with me on top. The bad part is that I could hardly feel his dick inside of me which made me sad. But alas, Kitty is a GIVER so I decided to make the best of it and rock the Traveling Salesman’s world without a thought for myself.

Kitty rocked and gyrated on top of the Salesman as his face twisted and turned. I sucked on each of his nipples giving each a little nibble and within a matter of minutes kitty could see and hear that he was cumming. Kitty pulled off of his cock quickly giving him a moment to catch his breath.

The thing about the Traveling Salesman is that he is not one to snuggle or caress after he cums. When he is done he is done which is fine with Kitty. We did take a few moments to regroup. He said a few nice words then we dressed and Kitty braved the bitter cold night to go back home.

You may ask, “Kitty, weren’t you disappointed that you didn’t cum?” Well…Kitty likes the Traveling Salesman. Maybe he can’t bring it home in bed but he is kind and sweet and if Kitty can give him some pleasure then that in a sense makes me feel good too.

Happy Holidays From Naughty Kitty

Happy holidays everybody!!! I hope your New Year is full of good health, happiness and lots of SEX! I am not sure what the heck is going on with Kitty but I have had terrible writer’s block. I have no inspiration to write whatsoever which makes Kitty so sad. Don’t get me wrong. That’s not to say that Kitty hasn’t been having a great year filled with good health, happiness and lots of sex myself…it’s just…I don’t know…I just haven’t been inspired to write about it.

It’s crazy. Kitty’s blogging buddy has been up to all sorts of shenanigans. He’s been meeting women on Tinder, Craigslist…you name it. He’s been having all sorts of couples swaps and threesomes. Kitty even tried at one point to gather his experience and maybe write another book but in all honesty Bill moves so fast and furious through these women that Kitty can’t keep up.

What’s been going on with Kitty, you ask. Well, Kitty’s vanilla life is quite busy and of course my busy season is approaching which is part of why I wanted to at least ramble a little bit online. I suppose I feel somewhat obligated to keep up my blog. I’m not sure about all of you but I used to feel a little cheated when a blog I enjoyed just ceased to exist. Kitty has no intention of doing that.

I am going to speak frankly about something. Kitty does not have many regrets in my life. In fact the few I have are menial. One regret I do have however is telling some of the men in my life about this blog. I’ll admit that when I told some of the men in my life about it I was either 1. Not sleeping with them at the time or 2. Trying to get their approval on some level. At any rate there have been times when I do not write trying to preserve the feelings of one of these men. Don’t get me wrong. That is not an excuse. Kitty is just trying to keep things real.

Which is why when Tom Hagen texted me the other day asking why I hadn’t updated my blog in quite some time I was unable to answer. Tom Hagen is a great example of one of the men I am talking about. Tom and Kitty well…we fucked…several years ago. Since then we text every now and again. It generally starts out playful then ends with Kitty saying something that offends Tom and he cuts off communication…until we start again. I think one of the things that offended Tom is that he reads my blog. He sees that Kitty has a threesome then immediately assumes Kitty would participate in a threesome or gang bang with him and his little buddies. Oh Tom, don’t be offended. 

You are not the only one who thinks this way. Esq2 has the same attitude. I think the issue is that the days of Kitty fucking some random guy that she has never met before is over at least for now. That threesome was an organic occurrence between Esq. and Kitty and Esq.’s very best friend. There was a trust there that for whatever reason sunk in with Kitty. It wasn’t just a random spontaneous thing.

Okay, I am sorry for the rambling and Tom Hagen, if you are reading this, I do not mean to offend you.

I do have to say that I received a text this week that I have not been able to get out of my head. It was a very simple text. It read:

“Good Morning. I was feeling really good last night…Relaxing with a smile on my face and a very hard cock. I think my dick was trying to tell me something. I love making love to you and I think we are just beginning to learn what we really want…” 

The text in its entirety lends itself to planning the future. Not a future as a monogamous couple. A future of sex with one another. Not to mention the fact that Kitty is surrounded by people who make it quite clear that there is absolutely nothing worth loving about Kitty. So for anybody to show any “love” for any parts of Kitty…well…that is just heartwarming. But let’s face it, Kitty knows better. Kitty knows all too well that the endorphins wear off and we get back to our vanilla lives until the next time.

This text came the morning after a very warm night of fucking The Surfer. The Surfer and Kitty…well…we have something nice. The last time we fucked he said, “I like what we have.” Kitty agreed. He is a simple man and Kitty appreciates those simple statements and I agree with them. We have for lack of a better word “relationship” that seems free and easy. We float in and out of each other’s lives as our schedules and libidos permit.

To date The Surfer can make Kitty cum every single time. His tongue is like velvet on my clit and when we fuck we melt into one another effortlessly. We have something very nice and while Kitty cherishes the moments we have together, I am very well aware that each time we meet may be our last.

“I love making love to you”…don’t ask me why but that simple line just made Kitty’s holiday a little brighter.

Travelling Salesman

“Happy New Year!” He said as he opened the door to greet Kitty. Kitty walked in, kissed him on the lips then put the rather large cheese tray down on the table. I had to chuckle on my way up to the suite. I thought to myself that it very may well be the same suite I had fucked Top Gun in several months ago. It turned out it was the suite next door but the Travelling Salesman had done well.

He poured me a glass of wine as I unwrapped the cheese tray, lit candles and we chatted for quite a while sitting on the couch in the sitting room. Kitty had begun to think this was never going to happen when he excused himself to go to the bathroom. When he came out he sat a bit closer to Kitty on the couch and we began to kiss. I had remembered from the last time that we were not quite in sync but Kitty continued working with his tongue trying to change the rhythm. He ran his tongue down my neck and gently across my shoulder when Kitty finally said, “Do you want to go into the bedroom?”

We walked into the bedroom each holding a candle and began once again to kiss. Kitty took off the Travelling Salesman’s shirt and he removed mine. I quickly removed his jeans and then my own. Kitty was please to see his erection through his boxer briefs and kissed him a few seconds more before gently exposing it. I wasn’t sure if I should sink to my knees and suck on his cock. He had been so conservative up to this point. Kitty did not want to overstep my bounds.

“Let’s lay down,” he said

We moved to the bed and once again began kissing. Our rhythm was more in sync by now and Kitty was ever so wet. Kitty gently moved my tongue down his chest and toward his nipples. I nibbled each gently then moved my tongue down his stomach, his inner thigh just grazing his balls. I put his cock into my mouth and began to suck gently as I heard his breath quicken and felt his hand on my head. Kitty moved back up to his mouth then he climbed on top of Kitty He reciprocated by running his tongue around Kitty’s nipples, down my stomach then over my clit and although Kitty craved more he got up on his knees and said, “I’ve got a condom”. Kitty watched as he put the condom on his cock then pushed between Kitty’s legs. Just as his cock entered into Kitty he said, “You ARE a beautiful woman.” To which Kitty’s answer was, “Thank you that feels good.”

He moved slowly and methodically as Kitty expected and now has begun to enjoy. As he thrusted Kitty caught his nipple in my mouth. I began sucking and heard him say, “Oh yes…oh yes” so Kitty nibbled and before I realized I was full on biting when he groaned and I could tell he had cum.

We lay talking for a bit. He was not quick to give any information as to his desires, wants, and needs answering with a simple, “I am easy to please.”

Kitty is used to men asking me to do things their wives will not do but rather than belabor the point Kitty decided to go with the flow and run through a list of things that the Travelling Salesman might like but be too shy to ask for.

What do you all think?

Bringing the New Year in With a Bang!

It's New Year's Eve...the calm before the storm in my line of work so on the one hand Kitty is on edge and on the other completely enjoying the quiet in my office this morning. Aside from Kitty's frustration over health issues I am well. Oh don't you worry about Kitty. There is nothing serious going on although my boss took the pleasure of calling me "old" the other day and told me my body is starting to “break down”.

Don't ask me why but I had some days to use up in December. I had stashed them aside for potential playdates but things just never worked out so I decided to catch up on some doctor's appointments instead. That was a bad BAD choice. For future reference if you have a choice between taking time off from work for a play date or a doctor’s appointment CHOOSE THE PLAY DATE!!!

Needless to say Kitty is in the midst of trying to straighten out some sort of problem with my eyes which I use ALL THE TIME for work and have zero time and zero patience for fuck ups and I suspect the doctor fucked up so now I am pissed and seriously those of you who know me in the real world, know that you don’t want to piss off Kitty.

Whew…today apparently is the day of venting for Kitty so I apologize…rant over.

Kitty is looking forward to a playdate with Traveling Salesman tomorrow. He seems extremely conservative. Kitty always likes guys like that and always wants to tap into that naughty side of them . So the funny thing about the Traveling Salesman is that through all of our emails…all of our vanilla dinner dates Travelling Salesman has neglected to ask Kitty’s real name…even just my first name. At this point it would be a little uncomfortable for him don’t you think?

So in light of what is going on Kitty is looking forward to starting the New Year off with a “bang”.

You never know what the day will hold so take advantage of everything life has to offer while you can. That’s the mantra Kitty tries to live by.

Happy 2015 everybody. Kitty wishes each of you a happy and healthy New Year filled with orgasms and great sex.

 

Sexy Secret Continued

So it’s Mother’s Day and Kitty is horny. I haven’t had sex since Hammer and I met over the winter…February I think. THAT’S THREE MONTHS!!!! That’s too long.

So Kitty decided to surprise the Geek with his fantasy “Stranger at the door” date after all. He thinks we are taking a walk but Kitty is going to show up at his door looking like the dirty little slut I am.

I painted my nails red, planned to dress in tight black yoga pants a white button down top which I would have unbuttoned exposing my breasts and wearing black stilettos.

The problem? Well, the Geek started his bullshit. He had planned to meet me after some stupid softball practice or something and it was running late. The ironic part is that Kitty was trying to fit in a fuck session between his fucking softball practice and something he had to do at night. Not to mention the fact that it IS Mother’s Day and Kitty IS a mother so I had my own dinner plans.

In the end unfortunately the Geek just irritated Kitty to the point where I cancelled our play date. Seriously this guy was not worth the trouble.  The way I figure it, if he is irritating outside of the bedroom there is no fucking way he won’t irritate me INSIDE the bedroom.

I think Kitty has learned a lesson. What that lesson is, I will have to let you all know. I really just wanted to let you all know that all is well and Kitty is safe…and still horny L

Kitty's Special Birthday Gift

A GIFT! A GIFT! Kitty got a GIFT for her birthday!! Kitty was dreading her birthday this year. I’m not even sure why actually. I mean Kitty does not get caught up on age and typically don’t make a big deal out of my birthday. But lately I haven’t been getting along with some major people in my family and someone at work was acting like a real piece of shit.

It turned out not to be so bad after all though. The piece of shit left our company thank god…ON Kitty’s birthday and well…Kitty is coming to realize that just because you share blood with people doesn’t mean they will love and support you.

So anyway Kitty has been working upward of 70 hours a week for the past few weeks. The end is near but we still have a few weeks to go. I did get a lovely invitation from Hammer to meet for a play date and believe me KITTY would have LOVED to meet Hammer for some stress relief but sadly I had to decline.

And so after yet another 12 hour day not to mention a treacherous drive in a snow storm just to get to work, I arrived home and began opening the mail. There was a curious card that was addressed to “Katz” which could only mean one thing. My kids of course were hovered around breathing down my neck to see what was in the envelope. When I opened it and saw his first name I knew exactly who it was from. I am not sure what touched me more, the gift card, the lottery ticket with all the hearts all over it or the sentimental birthday card addressed to me and signed by “him” including “xoxoxo”. Can I just tell you that “xoxoxo” from a man melts my heart EVERY time?

My first reaction of course was to text him to thank him but let’s face it…that would not have been wise. And so, I am writing this blog to thank my dear, sweet wonderful Hammer for thinking of me on my birthday. I will have to think of a way to somehow SHOW my appreciation. Hammer, you melt my little Grinch like heart xoxoxo.

Naughty Kitty Kifle

I know, I know…Kitty is a slacker! Well in an effort to show my dedication to my fellow bloggers and to let you all know that I am still alive and well and as naughty as ever…I got my ass in gear and found yet another delicious cookie recipe for the cookie exchange. Enjoy everybody and HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!!

Kifle

2 Sticks Butter

8 oz. Cream cheese

2 C. Flour

Combine dough ingredients. Roll small dough balls into small flat circles in a flour/sugar mixture. Fill with jelly. Fold in ½ moon shape. Bake 350 degrees 15-20 minutes. Dust with powdered sugar.

New Beginnings

It’s that time of year again. The Jewish New Year. I happen to really love this time of year. I love the change in seasons. I love spending time in synagogue and I love NEW BEGINNINGS. That was what the rabbi was talking about at services yesterday. I could feel his wife’s eyes bore into the back of my head as he was talking. Oh, she is a good friend of mine as some of you know. And she knows all too well about Kitty’s shenanigans and she also knows that Kitty has a fresh start.

My kids sat quietly throughout the service. My son later told me that to pass the time they play little games like counting how many blondes are in the room. Kitty plays that game too only a more “adult” version.

According to my son one of the highly esteemed members has a “crush” on me. I highly doubt it. This man is happily married and is almost 20 years my senior. He is handsome and in great shape. So while the rabbi went on and on about New Beginnings, Kitty was looking at Senior. Could he see me from way up front high upon the pulpit where he sat? Where was his wife? I hadn’t seen her in months. Was she sick? Were they divorcing? He seemed to look over at me but it was just my mind playing tricks on me.

As he walked around holding the Torah for the entire congregation to touch he glossed over me. I was stuck in the back. He didn’t even look my way. He returned to his seat and again my mind wandered. Does he have a big cock? Does he like dirty talk in bed? How would his cock feel inside Kitty’s mouth? Can I give him something his wife never did?

When it was my turn to stand upon the pulpit I looked over at him. He was smiling at me. He was smiling in general. My main concern was making sure I didn’t trip down the steps in high heels.

I didn’t get to see him at the end of services or at the beach later. I had another appointment. The good thing about the Jewish holidays is that there is another one next week. Here’s to finding out more about Senior and here’s to NEW BEGINNINGS.

Labor Day

“I haven’t done that since high school,” I said, and it was true. It was Sunday night and he and I decided to meet for dinner. Kitty is thoroughly enjoying the single life and going out for dinner with friends and dates is just part of the fun. We sat at the bar and chatted for a bit. It seemed comfortable to me. I was starving so we got a table and talked some more over dinner. It was hard for me to tell where his head was. Was he into me? Our conversation was safe and platonic until he mentioned my blog. He started asking a few questions. I’m more than happy to answer questions but the conversation began to cross over the line into friendship.

We finished dinner then dessert and coffee and made our way out to my car. He gave me a peck on the lips. “That was nice,” I thought to myself. And then he said something. I had turned away so I didn’t quite hear him. “Is that it?” he repeated. “What else do you want?” I asked as I thought to myself “this guy wants a blow job. He kissed me more passionately and pulled my hand toward his cock. “Rub my balls,” he said. I tried but it was still daylight and Kitty just wasn’t feeling it yet. I’m used to some notice. I’m used to some planning but I like him and I wanted to make him happy.

“Come in the car,” he said. We got into my car but I just couldn’t get comfortable. We kissed. His tongue touched my tongue and I wanted him. He pulled his pants down and I began to stroke him. “Does that feel good?” I asked. He nodded his head. I stroked then he stroked while I played with his balls. There were people passing my car. I wasn’t so concerned about this as the side of my seat digging into me. I bent over and put my head in his lap. I sucked his cock slowly as he held my head and began to move it to his rhythm. There were points where I told him I’d rather be somewhere else, somewhere private. “Do you want to go to a hotel?” he asked. “We don’t have time.” I answered. He began to suck my finger. “Touch your pussy and let me taste it,” he said. Kitty is always happy to please so I did it. “Mmmm you taste sweet,” he said. We kissed some more. I sucked some more and then…he came.

“I haven’t done that since high school,” I said. He answered, “Yeah, wasn’t it neat?”

Next time baby I want to go someplace quiet, someplace private so Kitty can REALLY show you a good time.

Birthday Kitty

The other day Kat posted a blog that I thought was very appropriate not to mention it expressed my thoughts about how a man should treat his mistress to the letter. Please read this ESPECIALLY if you are one of Kitty’s lovers/former lovers/potentiallovers. Basically the premise at least from my perspective was that a little bit of thought and consideration goes a long way.

Now Kitty never EVER asks or expects gifts from my playmates. I do however appreciate attention and consideration. It turns out Kitty’s birthday was a few days after Kat’s post so I was curious to see how or IF the men in my life would acknowledge the occasion. Can I just say that Kitty is definitely an “It’s the thought that counts” kind of Kitty. So on my birthday I sure felt the love affection from a lot of my wonderful playmates. I received emails, e-cards, texts…lots of texts…so many that Angry Guy was like “What the fuck is going on?!?!?!”

Among my wonderful playmates that thought about me were Jiminy Cricket, My Client, Bad Boy who texted me just before midnight and again the next afternoon. Bad Boy gets extra love points for that. Angry Guy treated Kitty very nicely and bought me a wonderful gift that will make my workouts all the more enjoyable. And Kitty even got a surprise “Happy Birthday” email from The Ex.

If you are among my playmates that were unaware of Kitty’s birthday please don’t fret. Kitty is not a whore for attention on my birthday. I am just extra touched by those around me who take the time to let me know that they are thinking about me and for that Kitty feels blessed. Thank you to all my wonderful friends. I had an amazing birthday.

Happy Valentines Day!!

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY

TO ALL MY NAUGHTY KITTY

FRIENDS!!

I wish you all lots of love and laughter today and everyday.

Heart to Heart

I just had a “heart to heart” with my oldest son. See, when I was going to the headshrinker she mentioned that sometimes guilt triggers the kind of depression that I was experiencing. She also connected it somewhat with my son going off to college.

I began to tell her about the guilt I felt over his childhood. I have so many regrets. I feel so much guilt. I feel guilt over all sorts of things. I feel guilty for every time I yelled at him. Every time I raised my voice. I feel guilty for all the times I fussed over occasions at school functions when his father was attending. I feel guilty about putting that on him. I feel guilty for every class party every school trip and every sporting event that I missed. I just feel guilty in general for any discomfort that my sweet little boy ever had to endure. I wanted all of my children to have the fairy tale upbringing that I did and that is not at all what is going on here. I can’t protect them the way my parents protected me. Why?

Oh my kids have good lives. Their parents do not abuse them and other than his smoking neither Angry Guy or I have any substance abuse issues. We live in a nice home in a nice neighborhood. We live a simple life and for the most part are happy and healthy. But still I feel guilt.

At any rate I mentioned this to my headshrinker. She sort of smiled and reassured me that I have done nothing to feel guilty about. She told me that it is not necessary to discuss this with my son but if I felt it necessary to apologize to go ahead.

I was on the fence about the whole thing and then today we went to lunch. My son knows how I feel about Angry Guy. He knows that I love Angry Guy but we both agree that maybe I am just not cut out to be married…to anybody. I am just not good at answering to anybody for my actions. So while we were at lunch I mentioned my sadness and I mentioned the headshrinker. I could tell he was uncomfortable so we cut the conversation short.

Later in the evening I was helping my son list something on eBay. Somehow we got to talking and I said it. I told him I felt guilty. He looked at me to see if I was serious but I began to tear up immediately. He tried to quickly brush it off and say “don’t worry about it. I’m fine. Everything worked out.”

Something about my body language must have told him I didn’t believe him because he stood over me as I sat at my computer and tried his hardest to hug me. It was awkward. He is so damn skinny and boney and tall. We don’t fit together like we used to. He became a man just like that. When did my sweet little boy become a man?

Merry Christmas everybody. Today Naughty Kitty is just plain “Mommy”. Tomorrow is another story.

Christmas Spirit

I have been having a terrible time getting into the holiday spirit lately. Believe it or not there was a time when I would decorate the house from top to bottom. I spent hundreds of dollars on decorations. One year I even set up the electric train under the Christmas tree.

This year we just bought our tree. It was marked down since it is already the middle of the month. AWESOME! I hate wasting money on a tree that is already dead. When Angry Guy and I got married, he agreed to raise our kids as Jews if I agreed to still celebrate Christmas. I agreed to have a tree in the house if he agreed that it be a live tree. My mother in law laughed at me and said “Honey, you are going to kick yourself when you are still vacuuming pine needles up in JUNE.”

This year I chose to go into the attic so that I could dictate exactly what came down instead of just having Angry Guy bring everything down and sorting through it. So I pulled the attic stairs down and right off the bat a dead bird falls out. LOVELY!! See, this is exactly why I make a point of not going into the attic.

Of course my daughter was completely grossed out and Angry Guy said “You just ate fried chicken. What do you think that is? It’s a DEAD BIRD!” We’ll have to deal with my daughter becoming a vegetarian another time.

So the next step is bringing the tree into the house and stringing the lights. Our crazy ass dog has a phobia about new things coming into the house so I am sure she is going to bark her ass off at the tree parked in the corner. I just hope to god she doesn’t pee on it. That surely won’t brighten my Christmas spirit.

Naughty Kitty's Christmas Bonus

Get your mind out of the gutter. I know what you are thinking! Can I tell you that I don’t remember the last Christmas bonus that I received? I know I got one back in college and maybe one or two when I first started working but the jobs I have had over the past years do not lend themselves to that sort of thing.

So this morning started out with an email from XXX asking if I could come in for “an hour or more”. Okay, what the fuck does that mean? I wouldn’t have minded but I had some afternoon plans and Kitty gets testy when her schedule is messed with. So I emailed XXX back asking for clarification. Did he absolutely need me today or could it wait? I didn’t hear back. So I called and got thrown into his voice mail. So I left a message. Then I finally got an email back from him that said “huh?” UGH! WTF?!

Now for normal people this would not be a big deal. In reality I can literally hit his office on my way out and if he doesn’t need me I can be on my way. But Kitty was cranky today and in no mood for XXX’s shenanigans.

On my way back from the bathroom I ran into XXX. He was heading out for a cigarette. So I said “Dude, WTF?!?!” Anyway, to make a long story that much longer XXX said “well, I really just need you for an hour but I don’t want to hurt your feelings.”

Now XXX and I have such a weird dynamic anymore that it is downright frustrating and I am thinking he does this shit on purpose. I have absolutely no problem with our situation but for whatever reason he is still uncomfortable. He insists he is trying to be a thoughtful friend since I told him that he was selfish when we were carrying on our affair. I keep trying to explain to him that now that we are back to being just friends he doesn’t have to pretend to be interested in my life or my feelings or anything for that matter. Anyway, for whatever reason he is and I had to tell him “Dude, if you just need me for an hour please just say, ‘I just need you for an hour’ because there are other men in my life that I need to tend to.” Even though he smiled he didn’t seem to appreciate my humor at that point.

So then as we were getting settled into our work he slipped me a note that said “Pay yourself $xxx for a Christmas bonus”. As he handed me the note he mumbled something about knowing that I am not actually an employee and that it’s not a lot…

But like I said I was THRILLED. I tried not to over think it. I mean as an employee it was a generous bonus. As someone who used to suck XXX’s dick well…it was sort of an insult. Maybe that’s why he was apologetic?

No…no I am going to have a positive attitude here. So on my way out we were having a conversation about another worker whose name happens to be “B.J.” Now I can’t figure out why I am the only one at work that thinks that this person’s name is hysterical. Yes, I am basically a 12 year old trapped in a grown woman's body. So XXX said something to me about needing a report for B.J. next week to which my reply of course was “Yes, I will work on my B.J.’s” to which XXX responded with a smile, “Oh no, don’t worry about it. Your B.J.’s are JUST FINE”.

A Christmas bonus AND a compliment. I am one lucky kitty.

Why Christmas Shopping This Year is Going to be the DEATH of Naughty Kitty

Can I start out by saying that Kitty is probably the one and only woman on Earth that hates to shop? All I can say is thank God for the internet! Since Big Cheese is away and no other self respecting individuals are here in the office today I am Christmas shopping online…all alone. I think XXX is in although I haven’t seen him yet. I am just not up for that look that he gives me. The look of pity like “I got holiday sex last night and you didn’t”. You know that look right?

My little Latino helper is here and he stopped by. I tried to get my new “friend” to come by and visit but he is busy with his own family stuff. So here I am cyber shopping. Sounds like heaven right? Well…it would be…if I didn’t have to shop for a new computer.

See, Kitty is quite the techy and I sure do love computers as you all know but shopping for them is torture for me especially today. No, not for the reasons you would think. Most people get caught up in whether to buy a Toshiba, Apple, HP. Most people get caught up in whether to get a 250 gig, 320 gigs. No, none of that concerns Kitty today.

Today Kitty is tortured by the size. Kitty is shopping and reading and fantasizing…yes. I started off on a good note. I knew the brand I was going for and the approximate gigage when all of a sudden on my own computer screen numbers started popping up that sent me into a tail spin. Should Kitty get a 10 inch? 15.6 inch? 17 INCH?!?!?!

Now hopefully you have read my blog before this and know by now that after reading “10 inch” Kitty was no longer focused on COMPUTERS!

Needless-to-say Kitty is unable to concentrate on computers and has now wandered over to the Babeland page shopping for my own “stocking stuffer”.

Holiday Sex

Just out of curiosity, how many of you are having sex today or tonight…on Thanksgiving? Personally I believe it should be mandatory. Don’t tell my Ex husband though because he would agree with me but guess what…I never thought so when he was my actual sex partner.

So given the fact that “Angry Guy” is working my prospects for having Holiday sex is nonexistent…unless I dig out my big green friend but it is just not the same. It is just not as festive.

So what’s a girl to do?

1.     I am going to do all sorts of nice things to take my mind off of sex today. I am going to make a lovely dinner and tasty desserts.

2.     I am going to think of my Christmas list and try to think of inexpensive and easy to find gifts that the kids can get me.

3.     I SHOULD get my ass on the treadmill to punish myself for the awful way I have been eating over the past few weeks.

4.     I should work on the Christmas gift that I am making for my friend.

5.     I should catch up on my writing and post a bunch of blogs in advance so that if anything happens to me in the meantime you will all have a piece of me left at least for a short while.

That leads me to an annual tradition around here that seems to be fading as the kids grow older…When the kids were babies I used to shop WAY ahead and hide their stuff all around the house. Those of you with kids who celebrate Christmas know how difficult it is to hide a toy in a house with very little closet space so I would pile the gifts in this china closet that I inherited from my grandparents. First of all this china closet stands in the corner and nobody usually notices it. “Angry Guy” hates it but I love it because it is sentimental to me and it provides AWESOME storage space so the china closet STAYS!

I hide the key in another closet in my office. So when the kids were young and all believed in Santa I would hide the gifts and lock them up. “Angry Guy” was pretty much out of the groove so I would try to tell him “I want you to know where all the gifts are hidden in case I get hit by a car before Christmas. I still want the kids to have Christmas.”

He refused to listen to my drivel which only made me more anxious. Yes, I am a bit of a control freak and wanted the kids to have all of the gifts that I spent so much time and effort buying for them. I would think back to that episode of “8 is Enough” when the kids find a gift that the dead mother had bought and they never found. I didn’t want that to happen to my kids. I sure do give myself a lot of credit don’t I??

“Angry Guy” assured me that if I were tragically killed before the holiday that he would be in no mood to celebrate the holiday. Well that just seems silly to me. Life moves on. My only request was that he finds someone who will be good to my kids if he should re-marry but I am not even going to get started with that.

So, see, I feel better already…about not having Holiday sex that is.