Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Naughty Kitty's Christmas Bonus

Get your mind out of the gutter. I know what you are thinking! Can I tell you that I don’t remember the last Christmas bonus that I received? I know I got one back in college and maybe one or two when I first started working but the jobs I have had over the past years do not lend themselves to that sort of thing.

So this morning started out with an email from XXX asking if I could come in for “an hour or more”. Okay, what the fuck does that mean? I wouldn’t have minded but I had some afternoon plans and Kitty gets testy when her schedule is messed with. So I emailed XXX back asking for clarification. Did he absolutely need me today or could it wait? I didn’t hear back. So I called and got thrown into his voice mail. So I left a message. Then I finally got an email back from him that said “huh?” UGH! WTF?!

Now for normal people this would not be a big deal. In reality I can literally hit his office on my way out and if he doesn’t need me I can be on my way. But Kitty was cranky today and in no mood for XXX’s shenanigans.

On my way back from the bathroom I ran into XXX. He was heading out for a cigarette. So I said “Dude, WTF?!?!” Anyway, to make a long story that much longer XXX said “well, I really just need you for an hour but I don’t want to hurt your feelings.”

Now XXX and I have such a weird dynamic anymore that it is downright frustrating and I am thinking he does this shit on purpose. I have absolutely no problem with our situation but for whatever reason he is still uncomfortable. He insists he is trying to be a thoughtful friend since I told him that he was selfish when we were carrying on our affair. I keep trying to explain to him that now that we are back to being just friends he doesn’t have to pretend to be interested in my life or my feelings or anything for that matter. Anyway, for whatever reason he is and I had to tell him “Dude, if you just need me for an hour please just say, ‘I just need you for an hour’ because there are other men in my life that I need to tend to.” Even though he smiled he didn’t seem to appreciate my humor at that point.

So then as we were getting settled into our work he slipped me a note that said “Pay yourself $xxx for a Christmas bonus”. As he handed me the note he mumbled something about knowing that I am not actually an employee and that it’s not a lot…

But like I said I was THRILLED. I tried not to over think it. I mean as an employee it was a generous bonus. As someone who used to suck XXX’s dick well…it was sort of an insult. Maybe that’s why he was apologetic?

No…no I am going to have a positive attitude here. So on my way out we were having a conversation about another worker whose name happens to be “B.J.” Now I can’t figure out why I am the only one at work that thinks that this person’s name is hysterical. Yes, I am basically a 12 year old trapped in a grown woman's body. So XXX said something to me about needing a report for B.J. next week to which my reply of course was “Yes, I will work on my B.J.’s” to which XXX responded with a smile, “Oh no, don’t worry about it. Your B.J.’s are JUST FINE”.

A Christmas bonus AND a compliment. I am one lucky kitty.

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