Monday, December 26, 2011

If Only For a Moment

When you choose to have an adulterous affair, as the woman, you immediately put yourself at the bottom of the food chain.
You put yourself under your lover’s children, under his wife, under his parents and siblings and even under his first ex wife. As the mistress or other woman, you demoralize yourself and punish yourself consciously and subconsciously.
What’s worse is that as the other woman, you put your lover first. Above everybody and everything in your life. You jeopardize your marriage, your family, your friends and your job. He jeopardizes nothing and you jeopardize everything for a few moments, a few hours of pleasure.
Perhaps it is because for those few brief visits, when everything is fresh and new and exciting, you are two people completely satisfying each other’s needs and nobody else’s. For those brief moments, I am not a wife. I am not a mother. I am not a daughter. I am not a friend and I am not a professional. I am a woman. I am giving a secret part of myself to another partner. I am getting the same from him at the same exact time.
There are very few instances when two people are in sync like this. An affair almost forces you to stop, look around and let your senses completely engulf every smell, sound and sight.
I am willing to tolerate things from him that I never would tolerate from any other man in my life.
But does a woman like me deserve that? Don’t I deserve to be put first? EVER? I DO! Yes, I deserve to be put first by SOMEBODY. Perhaps that person has not found me yet. We have not found each other.
I always tell my kids that there is no need for them to be selfish because I am always looking out for them first. My wish for the New Year is that someone will agree that it’s my turn. It’s Naughty Kitty’s turn to be put first if only for a moment.


Luna Moon said...

Yes. We do deserve to be put first. That is what made me stray in the first place. My husband is so distracted that I feel as though I take a backseat to all his other endeavors. During that stolen time with my lover, I feel that he puts me first. However, I would love to have that feeling more often than the brief time I have with him.

I'm curious. You say that a man doesn't jeopardize anything when having an affair (if he isn't married, I suppose he doesn't). When I really give it a lot of thought, my lover has more to lose than I do. Or am I putting his priorities on a higher level than my own? I don't know!

Naughty Kitty said...

I suppose I should say that they are not risking anything with ME as their mistress. I am the one who always says "oh, it's okay. No pressure". I am the one who walks on eggshells. I am the one who rearranges my schedule around theirs. And the idea of betraying their trust or jeapordizing their family life would never occur to me. So, yes, I believe my lovers, at least jeapordize nothing by being with me.

Frank said...

Naughty Kitty I think what you have written is equally applicable to some men as well. Sure there are some who risk little bit others risk the same as you and feel the same as you isn't it my turn for happiness? I hope we all get the benefits of your new year wish.

Naughty Kitty said...

Of course you are right Frank. I know there are men out there like that and it's funny because each of my lovers start out claiming to be that guy. And I want to give them that. It is in my nature and in all honesty I am not expecting to be "repaid" it should be a mutual feeling. It only becomes a chore for me when things become so one sided.

The reason that I write about XXX so much is because he was different in that respect. Oh he was selfish but not on a physical level and as weird as it sounds I consider our relationship a success story. I would like to take the good things from our affair and have them with another man more suited for me. XXX is wonderful and we are great friends. We will never be lovers again but the one thing about our affair that I miss is that he always made sure to stay in contact. He made sure we met at least once a week and the first week he made a point of saying "I want you everyday this week." Of course I realize that is not practical but is it too much to ask for once every other week? Or an email once a day?

Frank, we ALL deserve to be #1 and yes,my new year's wish goes out to you and all the other men and women out there who put everybody else 1st all day everyday.

M said...

If we all want and deserve to be #1 then what would happen, Kitty? We'd find ourselves crying out that we deserve to be a different kind of #1, in our lovers eyes, something that separates us from everybody else in his life.

Yes, you deserve an email a week or a day, but I think some of those desires and needs need to be dosed with the realism of adultery. It's a totally unequal playing field. I mean, your naughtiness counts on that inequality.

Naughty Kitty said...

Oh M, I don't expect to be #1 ALL THE TIME! I just think a little consideration goes a long way. A quick email or text can make a big difference between swallowing or not

Anonymous said...

Kitty, I didnt see a way to contact you here, and I have mush to talk to you about. :)