If Only For a Moment

When you choose to have an adulterous affair, as the woman, you immediately put yourself at the bottom of the food chain.

You put yourself under your lover’s children, under his wife, under his parents and siblings and even under his first ex wife. As the mistress or other woman, you demoralize yourself and punish yourself consciously and subconsciously.

What’s worse is that as the other woman, you put your lover first. Above everybody and everything in your life. You jeopardize your marriage, your family, your friends and your job. He jeopardizes nothing and you jeopardize everything for a few moments, a few hours of pleasure.

Perhaps it is because for those few brief visits, when everything is fresh and new and exciting, you are two people completely satisfying each other’s needs and nobody else’s. For those brief moments, I am not a wife. I am not a mother. I am not a daughter. I am not a friend and I am not a professional. I am a woman. I am giving a secret part of myself to another partner. I am getting the same from him at the same exact time.

There are very few instances when two people are in sync like this. An affair almost forces you to stop, look around and let your senses completely engulf every smell, sound and sight.

I am willing to tolerate things from him that I never would tolerate from any other man in my life.

But does a woman like me deserve that? Don’t I deserve to be put first? EVER? I DO! Yes, I deserve to be put first by SOMEBODY. Perhaps that person has not found me yet. We have not found each other.

I always tell my kids that there is no need for them to be selfish because I am always looking out for them first. My wish for the New Year is that someone will agree that it’s my turn. It’s Naughty Kitty’s turn to be put first if only for a moment.