By now you are all well aware of my fondness for my Ashley Madison friends (platonic of course except for one exception) and my friend DiscreteEsq has resurfaced after some health and family issues. He sent me this great story and with his blessing I am posting it for you all to read. Perhaps DiscreteEsq should take a look at my “Lost orgasm ‘Sex and the City' post” Don’t worry DiscreteEsq; I am sure you will get your orgasm back soon. It happens to the best of us. In the meantime, thanks for the guest post and welcome back!
I was bored and felt a bit horny. So, I went to a club down the street… Met three girls who were out celebrating a birthday and out of nowhere said, 'we want to see some pussy." I’m sitting at the bar, bored out of my mind and laughed. They wanted to go to a strip club a couple blocks away. Apparently, they had a good friend who was a stripper and one of them wanted to see her pussy. We went to the strip club. At the club, I tried my hardest to get one of the chicks but she was into some dude who looked like he was all about MMA and fucking whatever he could. Her sister and other friend wanted to tease the shit out of me. They got me to buy them a lap dance with their stripper friend, Claire…. Love that name. It was hot... We left the VIP room and her friend was sitting there alone and was pissed because the MMA dude wanted to fuck in his car. She said she would have rather fucked me in my Benz than in his piece of shit. That was an odd moment. But her one friend talked her out of it while talking me into taking her number. I bought the birthday girl a lap dance with a stripper of her choice and they left. Their stripper friend loitered around my comfort zone and we started talking about cumming and great orgasms…. Not sex, just orgasms. The last thing I remember saying at the club was, "I’m bored as hell and would love to get the living shit fucked out of me." Out of nowhere she said, "Buy me a dildo, I’ll pick out a pocket pussy for you" I was sort of shocked. Anyway, the club had a sex shop in the front and we got our toys (show n tell bar). We got to my place and she walked around and checked it out. She gave me her "stripper dance" and got my pants off. I put two batteries in her toy and she started it up and masturbated over my head. It was short lived…. She fucked herself for about a minute, but the batteries died really fast. It was like a car that wouldn't start. We couldn't get it to work. It turns out that her toy wasn't the only thing having startup issues.
We are trying to get the vibrator to work. It's dead, or as the Germans say, "Kaput." Now, I’m sitting naked on my sofa and my cock is experiencing serious shrinkage. No idea why. She was sexy and wanted one thing: to cum. I wanted the same thing…. I was cold, but I think I was wrapped up in her sexuality. The shrinkage was bad….Like really bad. In fact, It's been a while since I've seen my cock in full "turtle" mode. I was embarrassed and she knew it! She tried to relax me by licking my dick until it got semi soft-…We made out standing up; I was thrusting her against my wife's closet. It was fucking hot. My cock was at maybe at 25%. I had a sweater on and no pants. She was completely naked. I was lost. I literally thought about you for a second. Someone to fuck and laugh with.
Kitty, I am now humbled… I felt her perfect pussy and tried to get the tip of my dick inside her. The harder I tried, the softer I got. For some reason I was getting softer and softer. I wanted her so bad but I was brain fucking myself…. Turtle dick was in full effect. I felt like I was in a tub of ice. I was really bad. If my wife saw my pathetic cock, she would leave me for a dude with a small dick. I tried rubbing myself but couldn't even get myself hard!!!!! I was so fucking embarrassed! I’m not huge by any means, but I have good size. Some girls have told me it's big, some say it’s perfect. I’m not one to brag, but my dick is nice. It has a good curve and it's compatible with most pussies.Now, I know I sound like TV commercial for radio shack by saying that, but I have a quality cock. Off the record, my dick is not a radio shack dick…. it’s more like an apple- unique, nice to look at, easy to use, and has a really nice design.
Back to my story… I knew she saw dick earlier when it was relaxed, and I kept thinking that she saw a good cock…. BUT, I was experiencing severe shrinkage and there was nothing I could do to get out of it!!!!!!! I was saying things like, "This is odd, and my cock looks really bad." I actually asked her if should try to jerk myself off. She was cool with it and started to talk to my dick. Yes, it was cute and a turn on. That didn't work and we sort of laughed. Meanwhile, I’m half naked against my wife's juicy couture sweats wishing for a miracle.
We made out for awhile. I was trying to rub my dick against her leg to get hard, but it really didn't work. She grabbed my dick so hard it hurt. That didn't get me hard either. As visions of Viagra went through my head we ended up in the bathroom. I was still soft/small/turtle…. Put it this way, the head of my friend was attempting to see the light. She said, “I thought you were uncut for a minute…" At that point I thought my balls rose into my throat.
To make matters worse she spoke with a British accent and said something like, "You need a little trim on your willy." THEN SHE SHAVED MY COCK and BALLS BALD! She said she wanted my "penis" to look like her "flower." (THOSE WERE HER WORDS- Penis and flower). Now, in all honesty, my wife has sucked me off and shaved me, but it's been a few weeks. It was clean, but a bit long. I love trimming, but my cock needed a little trim. She started with clippers, then she used our razors and shaving cream. She used two shaving creams!!!! (I’m sort of metro sexual- I have several shaving creams)…. In fact, I think I still have shaving cream on me…. Yeah, I’m sitting here with my pants off, rubbing my dick and I think that's some sort of cream….
My dick was stuck at small. She said fuck me with the vibrator. DUDE, I was trying my hardest to get the fucking vibrator to work! I was shaking the shit out of it. Out of nowhere, she started dripping lube on my cock (Er… apparently lube is huge with strippers.) She kept dripping it on me while inserting the non-working dildo in her pussy.
The fucking vibrator ended working…. There was some plastic in the battery compartment. I put the thing on full speed. Wow, she had an amazing pussy. She got my cock hard. She lubed me up, put the rubber vagina on me and rubbed me solid. Got me hard for a nice fuck. Lasted awhile. She said she liked my dick but it was hard work. LOL! I faked an orgasm! She left and I’m still sitting here naked… Will I ever cum again?