Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Where Old Vibrators Go to Die

Picture this…your mother passes away suddenly. You are in charge of sorting through her worldly possessions and in that drawer right next to her side of the bed…you find…her vibrator collection!!!!

Horrifying right?? Well I for one would be surprised but not horrified. I did actually bring the Susan Lucci Youthful Essence attachment potential up to my mom. See, my mom bought me the Susan Lucci Youthful Essence kit and there is a “massage” attachment which looks suspiciously like something that you should put up against your…um…your CLIT. She was suspiciously nonchalant about it so I have my guard up.

My own kids are a different story. If I were to get into a tragic accident in the now I would hope that Angry Guy has the sense to remove any and all toys which would potentially scar my young children. This is highly unlikely as he quite often leaves my warming gel front and center on the nightstand after he uses it.

Okay so what about when I am my mom’s age?

WTF?! Do I have to live everyday like it will be my last? Is that what that expression means?? CLEAR YOUR DRAWERES OF ALL YOUR SEX TOYS!!!

Well what the hell am I supposed to do? For now I am staying put and the toys stay where they are which is practically in plain sight. Maybe that is a good thing. If my kids get used to seeing them then when I die they won’t be scarred. They will just chuck my big green friend in the trash.

I hope they take the batteries out first so they can use them for something else. That would be a terrible waste of batteries. Don’t ‘cha think??

1 comment:

Tom said...

Sounds like you need a porn buddy!