Saturday, December 24, 2011

Kitty Exposed

Having a secret blog has its good points and it’s not so good points. First of all I can really vent if I want to. Originally I wanted this blog to be all positive and shit. In reality although my life is a pretty happy one I am just like everybody else. I have good days AND bad days. My life is full of love, laughter as well as tears and heartbreak.

When things were going on with XXX I thought it was important to share the feelings I was having. I get a lot of inspiration from reading other blogs especially if someone else is experiencing something similar to what I am going through. I thought maybe someone would read the “XXX Files” and see that things ultimately work out.

I didn’t intend this to be a post about XXX but since we are on the subject I want to say that I miss him. I don’t miss him in a romantic way. Oh sure, I'll admit I miss meeting him at his place at a regular scheduled time. I miss standing in his kitchen hugging him for the first time of the day. I miss that kiss when I melted into him. I miss him looking at me with those stunning blue eyes before he said something about going up to his bedroom. Sometimes I think he just may have ruined me for any other man. The one thing I do love about XXX is that I could always tell him exactly how I feel and he could always tell me. We never got freaked out by the word "love". We can still talk to eachother that way. I am happy about that. And I did love the fact that he immediately put a claim on me. He took control and insisted we set a schedule. I could always count on our Monday afternoon trysts. I miss that. I miss knowing that Monday's or any other day is MY day...Kitty's day to get some attention. No other man has offered that to me since XXX.

So see, XXX went out of town to spend some time with his family since this is his first Christmas without his father. He’ll be back tomorrow but today I was in his office and I was thinking about him and missed him a little bit. I missed my friend. Oh, he was emailing me all day and pissing me off, believe me. He is freaking out about this B.J. thing that I am supposed to do for him…B.J. being one of our work associates…a VIP work associate.

When I first got into work I had an email from XXX waiting for me asking me to work this afternoon. This is what pissed me off because I specifically told XXX that I want some notice so that I can schedule all my other activities and bring a lunch for God’s SAKE! If he were in today I would have made him buy me lunch but the idea is that I want to bring healthy lunches and now that XXX is back with his wife he stopped working out and stopped watching what he eats. OMG plus his office is now filled with holiday treats from salesmen. It’s absolute torture for a food junkie like me.

Anyway, I was working with XXX’s assistants today and I was saying that I couldn’t believe he was freaking out over this B.J. thing and both of his assistants said the same thing. They both said “He freaks out about pretty much EVERYTHING.” I thought that was pretty funny because I have known XXX for quite a while now and I know him much more “intimately” than his assistants and this is the first time I have seen him like this.

Anyway he is coming home tonight and we will work together tomorrow and maybe I can get the real story about what’s going on here. I am not even so sure I missed XXX as much as I miss being surrounded by all of my “peeps” and he is one of my “peeps”.

So I am off topic. Like I said, the good thing about my secret blog is that I can vent about all sorts of things. The bad thing about my blog is that here and there I am meeting people in person who read my blog and that makes Kitty feel a little uneasy. Now Kitty has to be careful about what I write about certain people. I don’t want to hurt anybody’s feelings.

So right now I am feeling a little exposed and a little like my hands are tied. I feel like there are things that I want to write but am holding back. Someone suggested writing them anyway but holding them for when/if I ever write a book. You have no idea how many people throughout my life have told me that I should write a book.

I just wanted to write that. I wanted to write that there are times that I hold back in order to spare the feelings of someone that I think may be reading. So what should an exposed kitty like me do?


Jack and Jill said...

One blogger that we follow has been known to occasionally write exactly what she is thinking and feeling during a moment of anger or sadness, regardless of how volatile or vulnerable it makes her appear in the eyes of her readers. She schedules it to post twenty-four hours later (or a later point in the future), and then if she decides by then that she doesn't want potentially the entire world reading it, she deletes the post. Might be something to consider.

Naughty Kitty said...

Yes, I do that as well. I am not talking so much about angry posts as much as "truthful" posts. Like for instance I would like to maybe add more detail about how my feelings are hurt by something that a current lover said or did but I have a feeling that some of the men who still read my blog are those men that I might be writing about.

whoresandhookers said...

Try this:

Go to Hooters.
Go to a strip club.
Go get a sensual massage.
Blog about it.

You'll feel better. Trust me.

But don't a put a date or location on the events. It's harder to blog from jail.