Wednesday, July 4, 2012

Independence Day

This Independence Day is particularly special to me. In the past Angry Guy and I had a joke about the Fourth of July. It was the first time Angry Guy and I fucked when we started dating. He joked that when he came he saw fireworks. I reminded him that He DID see fireworks. That was 18 years ago. Almost every Fourth of July since then he would give me a knowing smile but not necessarily give me sex.

This particular Independence Day is special because it will signify MY independence…from Angry Guy. Yes, August 1 he will be moving into an apartment. It is difficult for me to contain my excitement. I am not trying to be cruel here but he has been so miserable for so long that the idea of not having to deal with that on a daily basis makes me feel relieved. Even the kids notice it. He is continuing to say awful things to them and all he is really doing is pushing them away.

I wish Angry Guy the best. I really do. I am certainly going to be fair as far as dividing our assets. I am not looking for any more than I am entitled to and I have promised to be flexible with visitation with the kids. He will be living close…close enough for the kids to walk if they want to although they won’t HAVE to.

Several of my friends have already told me that they are noticing a “new” me. They tell me that when I was with them I always seemed on edge. I acted like I needed to get back to Angry Guy. They are right. I always felt that way. I became fearful of him, not physically but if I took too long wherever I was he would lecture me or worse interrogate me.  

I tell my friends that this is actually the “old” me. I am just back from a REALLY long prison sentence. The change in my personality happened so gradually but the old me took no time at all to re-surface now that Independence Day is coming.

1 comment:

BluEyedBader said...

I was told once that I was a different person when I was around an old girlfriend, more cautious of what she would think than rather just being myself. It is amazing that people have that affect over us.

I am glad that you are starting to see the difference, it is obviously a much better situation and I wish you all the luck.

Somehow I do not think you will need it however.