I won’t bore you with the details but suffice it to say that I feel so bad that I emailed him to let him know that I am thinking about him and his family and I am here for him if he needs me. The funny thing is that he is probably one of a short list of men that I would not fuck. There is no physical attraction there whatsoever. What we do share is a history as well as a wonderful child that we are both very proud of.
There was a time when Kitty had very bad feelings for the Ex but those days are long gone. We have been apart for nearly 20 years now and although we are not exactly social with one another we have come to a point where we can be civil to one another for the sake of our child. It took us a long time to get to this point. It took KITTY a long time to get to this point. Kitty is not known to always take the high road.
So at any rate the Ex and I exchanged a few emails this morning and I ended them by offering my friendship and a shoulder to cry on and I am sincere in my offer.
In the midst of this email exchange I also needed to clear the air once and for all with XXX. He really HAS become a bad penny hasn’t he?
Well we were both in the office early today and began emailing each other about my schedule for the week. I think I initiated the email that said "can I come into your office to talk to you about something?" He of course said "sure!" Personally I think XXX over uses the "!" but who am I to criticize.
So I walked over to XXX’s office and he was alone and eating his breakfast. Again, he looked like shit and I asked him what was up with his eyes and again he said allergies. Okay, whatever.
So I said to him "I miss my friend." And I really meant it. Before our trip down into the gutter, XXX and I were really good friends. We used to talk about everything…obviously.
After I made the comment XXX made the faux "I’m sorry face" and in his phony concerned voice said "How ya doin’?"
So I said "I’m great, I just miss my buddy." He gave me that faux look again and I had to laugh and say "Honestly your ego is incredible! I don’t miss my FUCK buddy! I miss my BUDDY! JEEZ-US! You weren’t THAT good!"
At this point XXX looked at me in amazement. I guess it was the first time anybody dared to tell him that he wasn’t as hot as he thought he was and then I guess he remembered that I never could have a decent orgasm when I was in his bed so he rescinded and sort of smiled.
After that he told me briefly about the progress he was making getting back into his house after being separated from his wife for 2 years. We talked about my constant battle to sleep through the night and finally about some business ideas. He of course recommended that I try to do something with my writing. "You are a good writer," he said. I laughed thinking to myself that he really hasn’t read any of the blogs that I wrote about him after he broke my heart.
Then he asked the question that I know he has been wanting to ask me for weeks. XXX looked me right in the eye and asked how my "AM friend" was. Now it is MY turn to smile.
Overall today started out sad but ended up being a day of true forgiveness for Kitty.
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