Saturday, October 8, 2011

Just a Kiss

The same day XXX dumped me a friend of mine lost her husband. I spent the day crying and although my sadness was understandable the people who really know me knew there was something more that was making me sad.
I felt completely rejected, betrayed and I had nobody to turn to because on top of losing a lover I lost a friend. I confided way too much in XXX. He knows way too much about me now and that is the most humiliating thing of all. He knows all of my fears and each and every one of my insecurities.
I hadn’t slept the night before so you would think I would be exhausted but I lay in bed completely awake unable to get the peaceful rest I craved after nearly a month of giving my heart and soul to a man that clearly did not deserve it.
I lay in bed next to a man who seems to have no desire to touch me to enjoy the fruits of my sexuality. A man who has become more of a friend than a lover. I lay there wondering why. Why isn’t he attracted to me? What is so revolting about me that his dick won’t get hard when I lie naked next to him? I lay there and considered bringing up the subject. “Why don’t you want me?”
I considered my options. We have been down this road before. It is a bumpy road and leads to nowhere for me. And so I lay next to him and then jumped up and sighed a dramatic sigh. “What’s the matter?” he asked.
“I can’t sleep”. I stated the obvious.
“Well, stay here with me. Lie here with me.”
As I returned my head to my pillow he began to rub my shoulders very slowly. It felt good but this isn’t what I was looking for. He ran his hand down my leg. I leaned over to kiss him. I reached down for his cock. It wasn’t even close to being ready. “You are not in the mood?” I asked
“I WILL be. Are you?” to which my reply was “I am ALWAYS in the mood.”
He continued to touch me very gently and very slowly. This was new for me after the crazy couple of weeks I have had with XXX. This man was making love to me.
“This is nice.” He said “Nice and slow.”
I began to panic a little because I couldn’t get XXX out of my head. I couldn’t get the way he fucked like an animal out of my head. I also couldn’t get out of my head that he could never quite give me an orgasm. The man next to me knows just how to do that.
He continued to make love to me and made sure to bring me to an orgasm. A completely selfless act that XXX just never had the patience for.
Interestingly enough after my orgasm, I was able to relax, close my eyes and fall asleep restfully for the first time in a long time. And he didn't call me a "Fucking Bitch" once.

1 comment:

flying solo said...

Reading this made me happy.

We sometimes get so caught up in affairs and think that they are the answers to our problems.. only to find.. they aren't. How wonderful that you 'made love' to your hubby and found that peace you needed for the time.