Sunday, October 9, 2011

Moving On For Real This Time

This morning I woke up at 2 a.m. and couldn’t get back to sleep. I was running all sorts of things over and over in my head. Not just XXX things but yes, XXX things. For whatever reason I got the urge to be generous and emailed him to ask if he wanted me to work next week. I was proud of myself. It was like my old emails that I used to write before I was down in the gutter with XXX.





Anyway, for whatever reason I felt empowerd. I went to the gym and got one hell of a workout. I felt strong. I rehearsed in my head what I would say to XXX next time we were face to face.


When I got into my office XXX had returned my email :Its up to you but next week would be good. 'Hope you are doing ok with your friend's passing and everything else that is going on


I love how he automatically assumed that I was lying about the friend dying but in fact I was not. So I emailed him back keeping in mind V-Man’s advice:


Aside from my friend passing away I have never been better. It's been a great week overall...busy but great. Next week will be even better. I am thinking of coming in to your office maybe Tuesday for a few hours.


Shortly after on my way to the ladies room I noticed that XXX’s door was open but his other staff was not in yet so I decided to take the opportunity to stop in.


He smiled that sad smile…the smug one like he pities me but is getting all hard over the fact that he hurt me. This only fueled my strength. This is kind of how the conversation went:


XXX:”You okay?” in that smug proud of himself voice


Naughty Kitty in a strong voice with a big smile on my face: “I am great! I am having a great week.” There was a pause then I continued “I have spent the past few days with some amazing people in my life and they ‘brought me back’.”


XXX gets up from his desk to walk over to me and I step back slightly. The other day he hugged me and his cheap cologne hung on me all day. I wanted to throw up so I was avoiding the same issue.


Then in his “Trying to seem sincere but failing miserably” voice he said “Well I hope someday we can be good friends and I am SORRY.”


That’s when Naughty Kitty looked XXX straight in the eyes and said “You are no good for me. My friends don’t act like you act. You know how you used to say you gave and gave to your wife and she took and took? Well, I was you and you were her and I am better than that.” He looked down in a phony attempt at acting contrite and apologized again.


Then Naughty Kitty continued, “I don’t know that I believe you are sorry but it really doesn’t matter. As far as I am concerned it NEVER HAPPENED”.


He seemed relieved. He was off the hook and as much as it killed me to let him off the hook so easily, I just kept reminding myself the saying that I read on my friend’s Facebook

“No need for revenge. Just sit back and wait. Those who hurt you will eventually screw up themselves. And if you are lucky God will let you watch.”


I hope that God will let me watch XXX’s bad karma hit him like a ton of bricks someday soon but in all honesty, I am not waiting around.


I'm distracted and am moving on for real this time.




2 comments:

Anonymous said...

I agree
fuck him
he will get his
:)

kittycat

Naughty Kitty said...

I am sure it is only a matter of time. Then I can make the smug phony sad face that he usually makes :)