I just had an awful text argument with Rav. I am not even sure how it happened. We started out texting funny and sexy things to one another then I texted something which I guess was below the belt because Rav texted back “You’ve gone too far.”
That’s when it hit me, that feeling, that nausea. I know now what causes it. It’s caused by rejection. I shed nearly 5 pounds since XXX rejected me. Will this be another 5?
I apologized to Rav but I am still shaking at the thought of him calling off our scheduled encounter. This isn’t right. I have become attached. That’s bad right? That’s dangerous. Unsatisfied is always telling me that.
I am just not cut out for this. I am not cut out for the lifestyle and yet I am drawn to it. There are aspects of it that come naturally to me.
For one thing I have no problem getting to the hotel and following through with the sex. Not just following through. I ENJOY it. So far I have enjoyed each and every one of my partners. They are all very different yet enjoyable in their own ways.
I enjoy the youth of Unsatisfied and the gentle ways of G. I even enjoyed my time with XXX while I had it.
I have no problem carrying on with the rest of my everyday life as though all is right with the world. The “Angry Guy” can yell at me and he can withhold sex from me but as long as I have an encounter to look forward to, I can deal.
I have no doubt that sex with Rav will be amazing. My fear is that it will be TOO amazing. My fear is that I will want more and more. That’s bad, right?
It’s like crack. I am an addict. I am beginning to empathize with Tiger Wood. That’s bad right?
So tell me…how can Naughty Kitty detach?