Friday, October 14, 2011

Out of Sight

I often wonder why men drop out suddenly. Are they dropping out of “The Life” or are they just dropping me?

It’s okay I suppose. There is always someone else just around the corner. I never used to think this way. There was a time when I was a trusting, loving, strong woman. I am not hardened by any means but I am no longer trusting. This makes me sad to a degree. It also makes me reflect on the wonderful people who exist in my life on a day to day basis. These are the people I can love. These are the people who honor my love and do not treat me as though I am disposable. These are the people I can trust. I have forged bonds with these men and women that can last a lifetime.

I wasn’t lying when I told XXX that my life is full of some amazing people. It is. I just need a reminder every now and then.

Those of you reading this have never met me in person and you may never meet me in person. If I had to describe myself I would say that I am loyal. I am loving and I am also very sensitive. When I am happy I am very very happy. When I am sad, which is not very often, I do get very sad.

The lesson that I wanted to learn from Ashley Madison was how to let go of that sensitive side. I wanted to toughen up a bit. I believed that this would build my character and in some way help me in my career.

The lesson that I HAVE learned is that I am ME. I may never be tough and that is okay. I just need to learn to weed out the trash from the amazing people in my life.

Life is a gift that I do not take for granted. LOVE is a gift that I do not take for granted. I am able to receive love but more importantly I am able to GIVE love. If you are lucky enough to get love from me please honor it and don’t just drop out of sight.


Anonymous said...

If only it were as simple as that. When you have an affair, sometimes you just need to disappear for many reasons. Have you never had a suspicious spouse? Or felt like h/she knew something was going on? Or maybe it could be the guilt... Many reasons guys drop out of site.

-McK said...

i have been lucky, i have only been on this side of the line since april 2012-and when a lover has had to drop out of sight and or ends it, they have done so via email and one actually did it in person but i know that's not always the case. with tom, the one i prefer and would forsake all others for (that's an inside joke) he's the one that i fear will do just that. will drop out of my life with nary a word. from the beginning he has said that if his wife was ever suspicious or had an inkling, he would stop everything immediately and never contact me again. and while i'd like to believe that he couldn't just quit me like that, cold turkey, i'm old enough to know that he has had years of experience as a serial cheater and i am merely a rookie in this game. i don't know that i will ever be able to compartmentalize the way that he can. it isn't me.

Anonymous said...

I have read your blog from start to finish. I relate to you in many ways in the ups and downs in relaationships. I have read that a majority of your friends are men, but wanted to let you know, there are ladies out there like me that would like another woman to vent to and be friends with even if you never meet face to face. Sometimes I feel it's harder to actually talk to my girlfriends that I see on a daily basis than communicate behind a screen with someone I will never meet. That way there is no judgment, no fakeness and no worry of that other person running their mouth.

Naughty Kitty said...

Thank you Anonymous, I appreciate your situation and have been in your situation often. I am easily reached via email Please feel free to email me anytime. I am a good listener.