Do any of you associate music to other people specifically a lover? I have been listening to a lot of Elton John lately and associating it with XXX. I am not sure why exactly. “Mona Lisa and Mad Hatters” is the big one. I have no idea what the song is even about I just love the melody and it seems like a song that XXX and I could make love to although “Sorry Seems to be the Hardest Word” is probably more appropriate.
Oh no! That didn’t sound good. I just mean that XXX is always has this guilt complex about us. Other than work every conversation we have he manages to apologize and say “I don’t want to hurt you.” Well there is an easy solution to that wouldn’t you say? Just DON’T HURT ME!
That’s not very realistic and of course I go into my karma spiel about how I have earned a good emotional beating for what I do to the other people in my life. XXX says he doesn’t believe in karma which is kind of funny considering he comes from a pretty religious background. I’ll have to ask him if his religion believes in karma.
Before this business with XXX leaving town occurred he and I had a bit of a laugh in bed. Oh, that didn’t sound good either! No, I mean we were lying in bed talking after fucking. He ran his hand over the hair of my pussy and said “it’s starting to grow out?” At which point I told him “that’s all there is”. In other words XXX likes full bush which is great because up until this point that’s what I thought I had. Apparently he’s seen bushier. He seemed a little disappointed when I told him that’s all I got so I said “Maybe I can get filler or an implant.” That made him smile a little bit which made me smile. Then for whatever reason I told him that “being directed” in bed really turns me on. He seemed pleased and surprised by that. Now why on earth after fucking me a dozen times or so would that surprise him. I do absolutely EVERYTHING he tells me to do and make a point of telling him the things I especially like. Well anyway he was surprised. I continued by telling him that I get totally wet when he speaks German. Yes, XXX is of German decent and at work he will jokingly say something in German after giving me a set of directions. I never have any idea what he is saying but it has always been a turn on to me and I know I told him that even before we started our affair.
Needless-to-say when I repeated it in bed he began to tease me by speaking in German. God only knows what he said but if we had the time I would have fucked him for a second time that afternoon.
So I am hoping when we see each other for the first time today that we can pick up on that note as opposed to a sad note like the “Mona Lisa and Mad Hatter” song.
I play the scene over and over in my head. I am going to try my hardest not to see XXX all morning hoping that this will build up the anticipation in his mind knowing it will drive me absolutely crazy. When I knock on his door at lunchtime I know he will open it and smile making those blue eyes of his sparkle. He will invite me in as he always does. He will probably be wearing his cargo shorts and no shirt. Those cargo shorts were getting too big on him because he was working out so much before he left. Even if he put some weight back on he will still look good to me.
No this is the point that I am not sure of. I generally walk over to the kitchen counter and put my keys and glasses down. He kisses me then we go upstairs. Depending on the morning we’ve had I will kiss him and hug him for some support.
Today our hug may last longer. There may be some tears from both of us, him for his grief over his loss and me for missing him so much even though I had no right to. I expect the sex to be intense as always. XXX is an emotional fucker. He takes the energy from his anger and his stress and uses it on me when we fuck. I can only imagine how it is going to be when we throw grief in there but I can’t wait to find out and will most likely hear Elton John playing in my head for most of it hopefully with a little bit of German thrown in by XXX.