NO EXPECTATIONS = NO DISAPPOINTMENT

 Before writing this I tossed around the idea of toying with you all and leading you all to believe I fucked Digger but in reality, nothing sexual transpired. I know I know...disappointing for me as well. I had hoped I'd get a little action but in the end, I am not ready physically so I am positive I was putting out more of a "MOM" vibe. Ugh...GROSS...RIGHT?!?!?!?

The thing is, I've gotten to a point in my life where I no longer build up these high expectations of situations and so the let down is minimal. Maybe I am trying to see the silver lining?

Let me explain...As you know I had invited Digger over for dinner. I asked what he was craving. He made kind of a tall order. He requested chicken francaise, penne pasta and lemon meringue pie. Damn! That will teach me to ask that question. In the end he said he would have eaten whatever I put in front of him. But you know Kitty. I'm a people pleaser.

Thinking about pleasing him even now makes Kitty wet. I planned every detail of the evening out. It could not have been more perfect. I was fortunate enough to hear his voice a few times over the past few weeks and used that for masturbation purposes but I suppose was really not feeling it.

We had confirmed that he'd be at my house by 5:00. The meal was ready to go. The house was clean and the music was playing on the tube and the lights were low.

He called at 5:11 to let me know he was running late and stopping for beers and wine. I told him that it wasn't necessary but he insisted "I ain't coming empty handed". I kept reminding myself that this isn't a relationship. It's okay that he's late...at least he called.

When he arrived and I greeted him there was a brief moment. Do we hug? He was wet from sweating all day and from the rain storm he was caught in. No shower? This isn't a relationship. We both hesitated for a moment then he walked into the house both hands full, one with a sixpack of microbrew and the other with a bottle of white wine. I did get a whiff of stale cigarette smoke or at least I thought I did. This isn't a relationship. I don't care if he smokes.

He tossed his sweaty wet trucker hat on a chair then sat down. We chatted effortlessly as I put the final touches on dinner. I kept everything as casual as possible. As we ate and talked, I watched his hands. The fingers on his right hand were tattooed. How would it feel to have those tattooed fingers on my body? 

How would we fit together? How would he fuck me? Would I sit on his lap so he could suck my nipples while I rode him? Would he fuck me from behind?

As dinner progressed he openly spoke about his last girlfriend who he said "did me dirty". While I was interested in hearing the story and while the entire conversation was interesting, the evening very clearly took on a mother/son vibe. My bad, I suppose but in the end it all worked out. As i was cleaning up after dinner he asked, "would you mind if I have a smoke?"

This is not a relationship. I don't care if he smokes.

When he left, I walked him out onto the porch. He hesitated a moment until I said, "I am just checking the lights out here to make sure they are working." 

"Thank you for a nice evening," he said.

His Voice Makes Me Wet

 This morning he called me on my personal cell phone. I was at work but I answered it because it was him...and because I was a little bored. He said he was in my neighborhood and if I was around he'd help me cover the furniture that I was storing in my garage.

Ohhh wait! Did I forget to mention, the other day when Kitty was on vacation I asked Digger to come by for some landscaping advice. Okay so maybe Kitty was trying to feel him out to see if maybe there was a chance for some action.

I was super gross after working outside all morning but to be fair, he said he'd be over after a 10:00 am dentist appointment. He showed up at 2:30 and when I was close enough I smelled liquor on his breath.

He gave me his ideas for the yard and granted me "three wishes". Clearly this guy does not know the naughty side of Kitty but I kept my cool.

He came inside the house and I gave him some iced tea. We chatted a bit but sadly he left without so much as a kiss.

That is okay. Don't feel bad for Kitty. I'm at such a wonderful place these days. My attitude is "que sara sara" Whatever will be will be.

So later that day I struggled to cover this furniture in my garage and texted Digger telling him my one wish was for him to help me with the task. I told him there is no rush and that he could do it when he's over to work in my yard. My thought process is that maybe I can lose 50 pounds or so by then.

So, as I said, he called today not realizing that I am back to work.

We texted a bit later and I said to him, "I feel like I should cook for you." A few texts later we had a menu and tentative date.

Oh, back to the call. When he called this morning his voice,,,just the right amount of raspiness but it made Kitty wet...right there in my office...sitting at my desk! My pussy was wet and my nipples were hard. I'm not sure about the rest of you but apparently when women  become a certain age things dry up. Now I am sure I mentioned that a few years ago my gynecologist said we should bottle whatever I have that kept me wet and wild.

Just when Kitty had come to terms with not being turned on by a man ever again in my vanilla life, it happened and Digger's voice made Kitty wet.

The next few weeks Kitty will be getting my recipes together to make Digger that dinner that we planned and who knows maybe just maybe it will lead to a little wet and wild inappropriate playtime.

The Investigation

 How are you all enjoying the summer? The summer and fall are my favorite times of the year. Okay to be truthful, I love the spring as well. I'm coming out of my busy season in the spring and can enjoy the beach and beautiful weather before all the tourists come.

This summer has been nice. I've been working alot on my house and it's just such a nice place to be in my vanilla life. Ah...my vanilla life. In general, my vanilla life is wonderful. Oh of course Kitty has the usual family drama with the kids and stuff like that, but work is good, Kitty has alot of great friends and is officially an empty nester which is pretty awesome.

So, the other day Kitty was having a conversation with my son. We have become very close. He has grown into a fine man a confidante'.  He started telling me a story. He started telling me about a substitute teacher that he had back in grade school. I remember hearing about this substitute back then. She worked with Angry Guy when she was on summer break. She seemed to have a crush on Angry Guy. This much I had known.

I hadn't ever seen her and never knew her full name. The kids called her by the first initial of her last name. At the time I never thought to be jealous or threatened. The kids were young so they would just mention that she was their teacher for the day and had said "hi" to Angry Guy.

I don't remember Angry Guy having any kind of suspicious reaction when the kids talked about her. This was all before Kitty started her prowling...YEARS before. I never gave it much thought...until my son started telling me...

Apparently, this substitute was Angry Guy's "Type". I never noticed he had a type but the kids have and teased him about it. I guess I teased him a little bit too.

The substitute also had his cell phone number which means he had hers. They may have communicated via text because my son pointed out that the days the substitute was there were the days that Angry Guy conveniently picked the kids up from school which is particularly comical because that was just one of Angry Guy's least favorite activities.

It's not like my son to dwell on one of his father's faults or to accuse him of anything especially since he has passed so I began to pay very close attention to what he was telling me. He was suspicious that perhaps Angry Guy was fucking this substitute.

So, because we lived in a small community and because Kitty is still friends with many of the kids' old teachers, I asked around. My son could not remember the substitute's exact name. He remembered she was petite, dark, young and dressed slutty but he could not remember her name nor could any of their old teachers so Kitty let it drop...or so we thought.

Last night Kitty was out with my son and he told me that he was using some of his sources to investigate further and find out her name. Once he finds her name he will find her contact information. There is a part of me that is curious why he is going to the trouble. I doubt he would reach out to her. He is expecting me to make the call whether to pursue the issue or not.

"Why do you need to know?" my vanilla friends ask. Kitty knows that I have no right to be angry. I know that. I can be hurt though, right? My vanilla friends tell me if they were the substitute they would lie if they were fucking Angry Guy. So if we were to find her she may lie anyway,

My answer to my son and friends is I'd like the closure. That may or may not have been when Angry Guy's mental health began to falter. It may or not may have been the time when Angry Guy started to pull away from me, from our kids, from the beautiful life we built.

I'm not angry. I'm not hateful but I'd like to know. I'd like the closure. I understand that the bad things I've done throughout my life and my marriage possibly do not afford me the right to closure or peace of mind. 

Maybe just maybe some of the good things I have done in my life will win back some karma or at least a few truthful answers.

.So let me ask you, If you were Kitty and had the opportunity to ask the substitute if she fucked your husband but wanted the truth, how would you proceed?

Is Kitty a Cradle Robber?

Whew! You have no idea what Kitty has had to go through to get back into my own blog! WTF?!?!

I have a great story that I'd like to share but it has been so long that I've been locked out of my own blog.

So sorry to all of you for the whining. I do wish you'd reach out via email from time to time. Even though I don't post often, I am still here living my vanilla life. While I enjoy my vanilla life, sometimes Naughty Kitty rears her head.

So Kitty has recently picked up a new customer. Let's call him Digger. Digger is a construction guy and about 26 years my junior.

In the past the idea of younger guys never appealed to me in fact it was kind of a turn off. But, there is something different about Digger. He's got the same air about him that Angry Guy had when I first met him.

Digger is a scary looking guy but deep down very sweet and funny which is a total turn on to Kitty. He is also a bit down and out which as you may or may not have known is a magnet for me. I'm one of those people who likes to "save" people. I am drawn to the most down and out human, dog...whatever that I can find. I have no idea why. It is just my way I guess.

Anyway, I had to call Digger the other day and there was something so sexy about his voice. It is raspy and low. I had to leave a voicemail for him and he called right back and apologized profusely for missing my call then said, "I'm glad you called. I was lonely here all by myself." Those words immediately made me wet and I have not been able to focus since.

Digger and I spoke and had a nice chat about his business, his drinking habit and his weed garden. He even offered to "hook me up" with some seeds for weed and some garden stones which I think would be how I'd move this playmate along to the next level, unless any of you can offer suggestions.

He has also told me that he enjoys coming to my office because it is like a therapy session for him. Poor Digger was taken advantage of by some skank and Kitty made him feel better by listening. He has no idea what else I can do to make him feel better.

Oh yeah, just to add to the down and out part, he's got a bit of a drinking habit.

Regardless, I cannot help but feel like he was flirting with me. So the upside is that he is a legal adult. He makes me wet and I could see myself having some fun time with Digger not to be confused with a relationship. This would be strictly a secret affair...strictly fucking.

I cannot help but feel that if I gave him the least bit of encouragement, he'd be at my beckon call at least for a little while.

I honestly cannot get the visual out of my head of him fucking me from behind. Me telling him to fuck me. His young hard cock thrusting over and over. I can hear his raspy low voice behind me moaning, telling me that he wants to cum. And the best part, if he cums too fast, he can regroup quickly and go at it again until Kitty cums. It's been a long time since Kitty has met one of those.

I picture myself riding his hard cock cowgirl style maybe even reverse cowgirl. I may have to teach him a few moves like while I am riding his cock he needs to rub my nipples with his thumbs. Or if he wants to drive me wild he needs to just give me the tip of his cock a few times then just a little more with each thrust until I am begging him to go deeper. I may need to teach him not to curl or point his tongue when he is licking my pussy but to lick it like an ice cream cone with long wide strokes.

 Unfortunately there are several downsides to this. First, Kitty is the heaviest I have ever been. I feel like a beached whale and the idea of letting anyone see me naked is depressing. I'm not quite ready for this. Not to mention the fact that I don't move the way I used to. Too many unsexy things going on with my body.

Second, the vanilla side of me is saying that this guy could potentially have a disease. How ironic would it be for Kitty to catch something at this stage of my life when sex can be relatively care free and I don't have to worry about getting pregnant.

So, this may take some time but for the first time, Kitty is considering robbing the cradle. I'm kind of excited to see what happens next!

Premature Ejaculation

 

You know…I wish we had blogging back when I was a kid. My kids have so much more knowledge available to them via the internet. I was terribly naive as a youth even to this day on some level.

Our sex ed class was limited and even though I attended public school the teachers preached abstinence as the best form of birth control.

Recently I recounted an incident from my youth that I never fully understood and then it hit me.

Back when I was a girl, in college actually, I dated this guy. He was a super religious catholic boy. He was super cute and super sexy to me but he was also super square. I still get wet when I look at his picture.

I would joke that he went to confession whenever we were together to confess our sins from the night before. We never actually had intercourse but damn I wanted to. I felt such a chemistry with him and wanted to feel him inside of me.

Since he lived a bit of distance from me, I’d stay at his place on occasion if we were out late the night before. We’d kiss and fool around but damn, I could never close the deal.

There was one occasion, I slept over and in the morning I reached for him. We began to kiss. I had my eyes closed. I reached for his cock and began to stoke him. As I remember he had a nice cock and as I said, I longed to feel it thrusting inside of me.

I admit that I barely knew what I was doing back then. I mostly followed my instincts. I enjoyed feeling his cock in my hand so I continued to rub him. It was only a few moments until I felt a wetness, he pulled away and apologized.

I thought to myself, “Oh my god! What happened? What did I do? Did I do something good or did I do something bad?”

It is only recently that I started thinking about him and realized that he was over excited and came too quickly or am I wrong?

It’s a shame that we did not have the internet back then. I could have asked you all. Boy did I have a lot to learn! It’s amazing that I have managed to get this far in life without someone to explain these little hiccups that life has presented.

The Hug

 

Today would have been our twenty fifth wedding anniversary…I mean with Angry Guy. In the past when he was alive, I’d post something snarky on Facebook about how “Today would have been our ___ anniversary. Today I am celebrating that it is NOT.” I don’t feel mean and angry like that anymore.

The other day a song came on Spotify that made me think of him. Well to be fair a lot of songs on Spotify remind me of him since I made up the playlist. The playlist is not exclusively songs that we shared or that remind me of him. It’s made up of hundreds of songs that I just happen to like but for some reason a handful continue to replay and they happen to either be from the time period when we were at our best…or worst or from a CD that he bought me for my birthday, valentines day…whatever.  He bought me “Abbey Road” partially because he knew I’d love it which I did but also because it was not as offensive to him as the other music, I enjoyed so to him it was a win win.

I do not even remember which song I heard the other day that reminded me of Angry Guy but I began to tear up. I started remembering.

Sometimes at the end of the day when I was at the kitchen sink, he’d come up behind me and jokingly rub up against me. I say jokingly because it never led to anything. I always wanted it to but he was just teasing. Those were the days that I craved his attention…the days when I started to seek out attention from other men.

In the car, I remembered those nights. I tried to remember how it felt for him to touch me. He was big and forceful but I cannot feel him anymore. Maybe that is what started me thinking. I thought to myself and tried to remember if when he was behind me at the kitchen sink if I ever turned around and just hugged him.

I remember at our wedding the justice of the peace told us to look into each other’s eyes and remember how we were feeling so that during the bad times we would remember and find each other again. And now I am thinking what would have happened if I had turned around at the kitchen sink and wrapped my arms around Angry Guy and just hugged him.

Back then I remember being angry. I remember being desperate for attention. I remember being desperate to feel a hard cock inside of me. I remember getting to a point where I didn’t care if it was his or someone else’s hard cock.

And now I wonder if I had just turned around one of those times at the kitchen sink, looked him in the eyes as we had done at our wedding, wrapped my arms around him and hugged him how things would be different today.

To be fair that simply is not realistic. We had so many other problems. Sex was simply a symptom. I do find in interesting however that as time marches on, the bad memories seem to fade and the good memories push forward in my mind. Am I insane?

Esq 3?????

 

Good morning blogging buddies! How are all of you? I hope you are all living wonderful lives whether they be vanilla or on the dark side. I have been living my vanilla life mostly with a little twist. XXX is back!!! I know…RIGHT?!?!?!

Kitty and XXX are having a vanilla (ish) romance. I cannot help but laugh. Isn’t it every girl’s dream to end up with her adulterous lover? Is that some sort of urban myth?

Well, regardless XXX and Kitty are living the “dream”. Well…not quite but we are the best of friends and see eachother regularly and I have to say that XXX can make Kitty laugh which no man has really done since the good old days with Angry Guy.

So in addition to the XXX thing, I am really enjoying life. The funny thing about living vanilla is that you never know where or when life will take you to the dark side. I also love that so much crazy shit has been thrown at me over the years that nothing surprises me…NOTHING.

So the other day when I was sitting at a seminar for the first time since covid along with my bosses and co-workers, I was completely unphased when one of the attorneys sat down next to me and began chatting.

I immediately picked up a vibe from him. He was cute, very straight laced and in good shape. I always love a guy with a little rigidness and have found that attorneys are fun for me in bed because 1. The attorneys that I have been with have had pretty big cocks and 2. The attorneys I have been with are kind of assholes which to this day, I just love when it comes to fucking.

Sadly, the attorney skipped out of the seminar a few minutes early which sucked because I had planned on slipping him my business card. But before he left, he kind of slapped my arm and said “hey, I gotta run. I have an appointment.”. I said goodbye and tucked my business card back into my purse.

After the seminar my bosses and coworkers were teasing me as they have a tendency to do. They get a kick out of the fact that I always seem to be the one who attracts attention out there in the wild.

I decided to contact the attorney via email while I was still fresh in his brain and to be honest, I cannot help but wonder could this possibly be “ESQ 3”?????

After my initial email to him he invited me to lunch. Does Kitty still got it??? We emailed back and forth a bit and set a lunch date for this week. I have to admit that I am prepared either way. Will this strictly be a business lunch or will Esq 3 say something like, “My wife and I are in a loveless marriage and I am looking for a playmate.” ? Either way this crazy life has prepared me and I cannot wait to share the end result.