16 Months Part 1

 

It’s been sixteen months since I’ve fucked anybody. I had gotten to a comfortable place with that. Not that I haven’t had offers. For whatever reason I simply wasn’t interested. I wasn’t in the mood. I lost my mojo but in a very calm and peaceful manner…or so I thought.

I had actually gotten to a point where I did not ever expect to have or WANT to have sex again. I’ve been so ashamed of my body and my weight gain. I figured that I’d focus on myself for awhile and was quite content yet not quite inspired either. I actually hadn’t realized it.

The other day SS texted me and asked if I was interested in grabbing “breakfast, brunch or lunch”. It really wasn’t a good time for me. My son had company for the weekend. I was making them breakfast and trying to get them out the door so they could do some site seeing. Also, I had painters over and you know how difficult it is to get painters these days. Or is it just my struggle?

Anyway, I did accept his lunch invitation but I suppose I didn’t get back to him quick enough so he texted that since he hadn’t heard from me, he was going to go about his day and go to work. What a DICK!

To make a long story short, we played text tag for a bit and finally found ourselves at one of our old spots for lunch. Now apparently, I was in some sort of mood because not only hadn’t I showered or put on deodorant much less make up, I didn’t even brush my teeth. I know…RIGHT?!?!?! BAD KITTY.

So, we’re have a good lunch, talking, catching up, blah blah and we get to the end of the meal and out of no where SS sits back a bit in his seat and says, “So, I want to ask you a question.”

Of course, I tell him to go ahead. To which he responds, “Where are we? Am I back to ‘client status’?”

At first, I wasn’t quite sure what he was talking about. We hadn’t discussed our relationship since the very beginning. In fact, HE was the one who completely shut down communication about feelings etc. Over the past year he sent me mixed messages and while it was bizarre I didn’t concern myself with it because it wasn’t holding me back from anything and quite frankly I didn’t have the time to worry about it.

When we were in the company of other friends he’d talk about me like we were together but often weeks would go by without us communicating by phone, text or in person.

Feeling rather uncomfortable at the prospect of discussing the intimate details in a public restaurant not to mention I was completely aware of what I looked like and probably smelled like.

He made some valid points. He said “we had a pretty good thing going”, and he wasn’t ready to give that up. I thought about what he was saying and although I was seemingly indifferent, I thought the only difference between what our relationship has been this past year which is basically friends to picking up our romantic relationship again would be the sex.

The Struggle is Real

 Kitty has been having a terrible time with masturbation lately. I can't help but wonder if it is Covid related. LOL that's a joke...kind of. Everyone is blaming everything on Covid these days. Why not Kitty's lack of masturbation?

Recently one of my blog buddies asked me about masturbating and if Kitty still does it. Sure I do! Or at least I try.Over the past year my night time ritual is that I fall asleep, wake up anytime between 3 and 4 am to go to the bathroom then toss and turn to try to fall back asleep. 

Every now and then I'll get a little tickle...every now and then... So Kitty pulls her little silver bullet out of the night stand and rubs it against her clit. But really that's not enough. Kitty has to use her imagination. My blogging buddy sent me a link to a porn but it's just not doing it for me these days. I don't know what it is. Kitty lost her focus. 

So the porn does nothing for Kitty anymore. I can't put my finger on it. The guys and the girls really have a creep factor that turns Kitty off not on so Kitty turns to distant memories of playdates past.

Kitty tries to remember some of the hottest moments from the good old days. Kitty often goes back to her threesome with Esq and Side kick. Sometimes picturing Esq fucking me from behind while I sucked on Sidekick's cock can get me going...and sometimes it just isn't enough.

I try to remember how Surfer Dude's velvet tongue felt on my pussy or the little trick he had where he would put just the very tip of his cock inside of me. He give me just a little more of his cock with each penetration tantalizing me which literally "hurt so good".

And then there was the feeling that Kitty used to get at the prospect of meeting a new playmate. There was a sense of excitement mixed with fear. The way Kitty's pussy got wet the first time she saw the new hard cock along with the fear of meeting a complete stranger in a locked hotel room. Those days are long gone for Kitty and that is okay. There was a time and a place for them. The memories are slowly fading except for a few memorable moments.

What do you all think of when you masturbate?

When is it Time to Say Goodbye?

Hey there! How are you all? I miss this...blogging, writing, tossing ideas around with you all. I miss it but at the same time I'm into new things. My vanilla life has taken over and I'm a little embarrassed to admit it but I like it.

The problem is I'm not always good at letting go. I've made some friends here and I don't want to lose them. I can't say that I have any regrets. I believe everything we do shapes us into who we are today. As I watch my kids grow into adults, I think of myself at their age. I was a "good girl". I led a relatively sheltered life. I got married very young, had a baby, got divorced...RE-married and had more kids. It wasn't until I divorced Angry Guy that I really did the things I should have done in my 20's. I don't regret that.

Interestingly enough my 20 something daughter has become quite active sexually. It's to be expected right? I mean the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. Am I right? So the other day Kitty's little kitten started talking about threesomes. All I could think was, "You go, Little Kitten!!!"

I think the thing that has affected me the most is the death of Angry Guy. Since his death I've been helping the kids settle his estate. We've been going through old pictures and old videos. I have to admit that when I watch some of those early videos I fall in love with Angry Guy all over again. Our kids have chosen to believe he was my one true love. I can't say that I disagree.

As a result of all of this self reflection I have lost my lust for...well...lust. I have no interest in any of the men from my past and really no interest in anybody currently. So now what?

ASKING FOR A FRIEND

Hey there!! How are ya'll? I hope all is well with each and every one of you. Crazy year right?!?!?!?

So much has been going on in everyone's lives I am sure. Kitty has had one crazy crazy year and not just due to Covid 19.

One interesting thing that's happened to Kitty is that back in May I found out that I have a sister that I never knew about. Interesting to say the least don't you all think? So it turns out prowling runs in my family. Apparently my father was a bit of a prowler...presumably. In the meantime Kitty is absolutely in love with my new baby sister. We are fast friends. Other than not really looking alike, we could be twins. Our personalities are quite similar...except of course she is adamant against prowling.

So Kitty has been occupied with my new sister and not so much with SS. Oh we are still "friends" I guess. That whole thing is also very strange but ended on a good note I suppose. Oh shit! Also Angry Guy died recently! Wow! Now that I write all this, I realize how truly crazy the past few months really HAVE been.

So, Traveling Salesman is trying to work his way into the picture. Here's the thing. Kitty really likes Traveling Salesman however...not sure. Kitty is just not feeling like getting together and I really do not know how to tell him without ending our friendship completely and to be honest, I'm not sure I want to do that. I'm not really sure what I want. I mean, I'm really enjoying being single again and have alot on my plate.

So how does a Kitty tell a Traveling Salesman that it's just not the right time for me?

Asking for a friend

xoxoxo 

Giddy Up!

Hey there! How are ya'll doing? You may be asking yourself "Why is Kitty talking like a cowgirl?"
Well I'ma gonna tell ya!

Kitty is wet. Kitty is horny and Kitty is ready to get back in the saddle! Can I get a "Hell YEAH!"?

Kitty is also re-establishing her "stable" as her work bestie likes to call it. Kitty's "stable" as she lovingly refers to it was the group of men that Kitty used to fuck. Let me just say there was some quality cock in there so it is going to take some time to build that back up.

So quick update for those of you wondering. Yes, Kitty's monogamous relationship is on hold for at least until this Covid 19 scare is dealt with. To be honest I am not quite sure that SS is completely out of the picture yet but things are definitely going to change going forward and Kitty is once again free.

Unfortunately, Kitty has also put on more weight which as you all know was a constant struggle for me to begin with. Kitty is going to work on that because Kitty has been in touch with one of my former fun playmates Esq and after this quarantine is done he wants to get together with or without Sidekick.

For those of you who are not up to speed, Sidekick was our third in threesome when we had it and damn was that fun!

So I just wanted to give you all a heads up because I am so wet and horny right now thinking about Esq's rock hard cock and riding it that I wanted to share the love.

Stay tuned. I'll be sure to report back.

And in the meantime ya'll stay safe and stay happy.

xoxoxo
Kitty

A Blast From the Past

Wow! It's been so long since Kitty has written that I couldn't even log on!! I did it though. I can't tell you all how much I miss everybody. The one thing I really miss about blogging is the community of people that we've created. I do like to stay in touch off line so please do not hesitate to email me just to catch up.

As far as Kitty's vanilla life goes, all is well! Kitty is full blown monogamous and not hating it! BF is not a bowl of cherries everyday but then again neither is Kitty. The important thing is that the sex continues to be fun and exciting as well as consistent.

One crazy thing is that Kitty has had several disturbing brushes with the past. This past summer Kitty and daughter were walking to the swim club. We passed a car with a young woman and a man that looked like Surfer Dude. He and Kitty looked at one another but said nothing. We both had sunglasses on so it was difficult to know for sure if it was him.  For whatever reason Kitty was taken aback and somewhat unnerved. Over time the feeling passed. Several weeks ago Surfer Dude contacted Kitty regarding a professional matter. Okay, no problem...Kitty can deal with that. Kitty and Surfer ended up talking on the phone and sure enough the man in the car WAS him!!!

Okay so then BF and Kitty bought a house and have been renovating the house. As a result we have been spending alot of time and money at the local Home Depot. Who do you think Kitty sees working right there in the door department but good old RAV! Does anybody even remember him? Well he's the jerk Kitty wrote the book about. He looked so familiar and at first again Kitty was taken aback. The other night he was there and on his way out. I ask his associate his last name and sure enough it is him. Interestingly enough RAV was some big executive type who traveled worldwide. According to the real estate ads he's selling his million dollar pad and now works at Home Depot. Kitty wants to know what that's about.

Initially Kitty was so disturbed by the latest sighting of RAV and confirming that it was in fact him that I texted my Blogging Bestie. Anyway, he encouraged me to post again.

I warned him that it would not be a sexy post. I apologize for that. I think once things calm down at home and Kitty gets a computer set up in the new place maybe I will try to get back to writing again.

In the meantime I am blessed and truly living my best life. I have no regrets for my past but yes...it is the past and I prefer to leave it there.

Happy holidays everybody!!

Love from Kitty
xoxoxoxox

Peace, Love and All That Crap

Yesterday was a weird day for Kitty. My life has taken such a different turn. I mean that in a good way, it's just that I'm so surprised to find myself in a committed, monogamous relationship and actually for the most part content in my vanilla life. Of course as you know from my last post, SS and Kitty have our ups and downs like all monogamous couples but in the end we have a connection that I don't remember ever having with any other man.

For some strange reason I take comfort in the fact that we are not married...well...legally anyway. We are completely committed to one another and Kitty would not cheat but the idea of signing the papers to legalize our relationship makes Kitty's chest tighten and not in a good way.

SS, the kids and Kitty have a little joke among us. Back when Kitty and SS started dating, Kitty made a scrumptious pie for one of the summer holidays. One of Kitty's strengths is that Kitty is a good cook and good baker. So Kitty made a pie and made the mistake of saying,"you know men have asked me to marry them over this pie." Now Kitty simply was trying to get across the fact that the pie was exceptionally delicious. Kitty is NOT looking for a marriage proposal from SS or any other man! Well SS being the teaser that he is continues to torture me over that statement and so with each pie Kitty makes, SS feigns fighting back a marriage proposal after each and every bite. Kitty and the kids have learned to brace ourselves knowing the torture is coming. Between you and me, there are times when SS seems like he really does want to get married but Kitty shuts it down because as much as Kitty loves SS, the thought of being thrown back into the marriage trap scares Kitty and I'm pretty sure you should not feel scared when you think of marrying the one you love so Kitty is taking that as a strong sign to just enjoy what we have which is a marriage without papers.

So in the midst of baking this amazing pie yesterday in the beautiful house that SS has been renovating, Kitty received a text from T-Bone. Yes, you all remember T-Bone don't you? Well, T-Bone over the past few years got divorced then found a girlfriend and now apparently broke up with said girlfriend. So T-Bone and Kitty texted back and forth a bit. T-Bone first said he had so many girlfriends that he can't keep track then asked Kitty if I have any bored friends that might want to fuck him. Okay...Let me just say that Kitty's friends are not nearly as fun or open minded sexually  as Kitty so the answer to that question will always be "NO". Keep in mind, this is my secret life for a reason. Kitty's vanilla friends have no idea what Kitty is capable of in the bedroom. Oh they know Kitty is sassy but they have no idea about my blog or about my secret life...then it wouldn't be secret...DUH!

So if any of my online friends is looking for some action, let me know and I will put you in touch with T-Bone.

Another weird thing that happened yesterday was that Kitty ran into Surfer Dude at our pool. Kitty assumes he saw me and SD, if you are reading this Kitty says "Hi". Kitty's son was with me and although he does not know the entire story of Surfer Dude he knows enough to know that we were involved. The interesting conversation between Kitty and son once we realized that Surfer Dude was there:

Son: "Does he know who I am?"

Kitty: "Probably, we are friends on Facebook."

Son: "I don't get how you can be friends with your exes. I have to cut them off."

Kitty: "It's not the same in this situation. We have no hard feelings. We were never monogamous and we've been friends on Facebook all this time. I have nothing to hide and have no hard feelings. As far as I know neither does he."

So again, SD, if you are reading this, Kitty wants to say "Hi". You look well and I am glad you are happy and I hope that you will not feel uncomfortable running into Kitty. I certainly would never put you or your family at risk for any hurt now or in the future. Peace, Love and all that crap xoxo

Can Kitty just make one more point since it is so difficult anymore for me to find time to post to this blog.

More and more Angry Guy is acting out. Kitty is sure that it is because our kids are grown and just about out of the house. We have been divorced for 5 years now and Kitty has just sold our family home and moved to a new place of my own. AG is probably feeling out of control. DUDE, you are the LAST to know that you have no control over Kitty!!! Anyway, he's been saying some pretty awful things to and about Kitty. On occasion Kitty will reflect on the past and to be honest Kitty has absolutely NO REGRETS about the things I have done in the past especially during our marriage.

Okay when I look back it was insanely stupid and dangerous to meet strange men in hotel rooms for sex. I do not see myself doing that now. Clearly Kitty was acting out but again I have no regrets. Kitty learned so much from those experiences and Kitty grew from each one.

I'm not quite sure how to express this but I get an insane amount of satisfaction knowing what I did and the fact that he could never imagine the things Kitty did during our marriage right under his nose because he was just too fucking lazy to care.

Anyway, just have been wanting to get that all out and to wish you all a safe and happy summer along with peace, love and all that crap :)