The other night I started watching a movie. It was
called “Thanks for Sharing”. The movie was about sex addiction. As I watched
the movie and these people fighting an addiction along the same lines as alcoholism,
I reflected on my own situation.
There was a time when Kitty acted out. There was a
time when Kitty met strange men in hotel rooms, fucked them and then left.
Interestingly enough, once Kitty was single, that drive to do dangerous sexual
things subsided. Does Kitty still meet men in hotel rooms? Sure but not necessarily
the first meeting. Kitty rarely gets so worked up that we skip the initial
coffee meeting.
As the movie progressed and one of the characters
began to backslide, Kitty watched him scramble to find a prostitute. The female
character played by Pink was who Kitty most identified with in a way. She lost
her best friend because Pink fucked her “old man”. Kitty has thought about it.
Have I fucked any of my girlfriend’s “old men”? No but on occasion I have
looked for them on Ashley Madison.
Even though sex was a major contributing factor to
the demise of my second marriage, Kitty put my safety at risk on several levels
but I have yet to hire a prostitute or let sex get in the way of my work.
Notice Kitty didn’t say that I have yet to fuck one of my bosses because let’s
face it, for all intents and purposes XXX was and still sort of is one of Kitty’s
boss.
So the question remains, are we sex addicts?
4 comments:
Of course not! Having a healthy appetite for sex isn't a problem. As you say, if you can't function, can't do your job, can't be there for your family - that's a problem. But as long as that's not the case, and your overall life is functioning - then it's all good. :-)
Agreed Max :)
That's a very good question. I'm inclined to agree with Max. Our society has become almost puritanical in its beliefs about what is accepted as morally sexuality, which is odd because more and more people are experimenting with the limits. I think if a person can still manage to keep up with primary responsibilities, then, as Max put it, it's all good.
I find that once I connect with someone I really care about, it's not so much about sex anymore as it is about sharing. Also, once I'm in a "committed" prowling relationship (how's *that* for an oxymoron?) my hunting gene shuts down and it's all about my family, my work, and that person.
All that said, I know some of the definitions for sex addition used by various sex addiction 12 step groups. By their definitions, yup, we're addicts.
You are not an addict! I am so glad we have a place to write about normal human desires in a place where someone can tell us it's okay.
Men joke with me about how much I think about and talk about sex and want sex. It strikes a nerve, because I do not consider myself as over-sexed or addicted, and my life is full of so many other things. Then I remember they are used to the woman in their home forbidding such talk, denying any action, and... of course I seem like a wild creature in comparison!
Post a Comment