“It’s Not Time Yet”

I have to be honest when I tell you that I was more than excited when I received the text this morning from XXX. We have a strict “No texting, no calling, no emailing” policy which I break on a daily basis and he does not.

I was in a meeting and I just happened to check my texts on my way out to the ladies room. I was thrilled that the text basically recommended ditching work for the afternoon and meeting for sex instead. I’m all over that!

It’s times like this when fucking your boss sure comes in handy. Oh wait, I really need to re-phrase that. He doesn’t want me to think of him as my boss so let’s say that it’s times like this when fucking a guy that can dictate your schedule and has the power to fire you really comes in handy.

XXX’s texts seemed a little urgent. I loved it. I was hoping that something I had done in the morning had brought this on but sadly it was more of a tension reliever. No problem. I am always happy to help out a friend.

Now this next part is going to shock you I know but I am falling for XXX in a bad, bad way. I KNOW! I KNOW!!! You all warned me and I hate myself right now for breaking ALL the rules. EVERY LAST ONE OF THEM!

Kat, if you are reading this, you don’t need to say “I told you so” because I knew from my first fantasy blog about XXX that this was going to mean heartbreak.

It has become our ritual to fuck now talk later. Basically I enter XXX’s place. He smiles at me and his gorgeous blue eyes sparkle and make my knees buckle. Then he kisses me which always makes me wet and makes my nipples tingle. Then he says something sweet and we go upstairs to his bedroom at which time we get undressed and begin our sexytime. The past few times we have fucked but for personal reasons today I wanted to make love to XXX. See, that’s when I knew I was in trouble. We chatted just a little bit about something in his personal life that was hurting him and even though he didn’t come right out and say it I knew that I was there more as a surrogate than as myself.

XXX and I discussed it and he thanked me for coming. I told him that I was happy to do it. “We’re friends, right?” I asked him. He looked me in the eyes and nodded.

“Well, I am here to comfort you as your friend. And happy to do it.” Boy was that an understatement. In all honesty I was dreading not having any contact at all until Monday which is just another indication that I have fallen way too deep for this guy.

I vowed to myself and to him that I would stop texting, calling etc and I promised myself in particular that I would play it cool from this point forward.

So after we made love fucked we lay in bed talking like we usually do. We agreed that our previous friendship added a strange dynamic to this affair and I stressed again that I want him to be completely honest with me. I told him that when it is over I want him to tell me that it is over and not to prolong it in order to spare my feelings. I know he would do that and he admits that he would.

 He talks about hurting my feelings a lot and I put on a brave face. He began to apologize and each time I told him to stop. I told him I know what I am involved in and I know the risks. I know that I can get hurt and I told him that I am prepared. He talked about “when it is time to end this”. We were spooning at that point and I was behind him. When he said those words I began to tear up. I said to him “Is it time?” I held my breath and waited for his answer. He said “No, not at all” in a completely sincere tone of voice. I shed a tear, and sighed a breath of relief.

“It’s not time yet” I told myself. It’s not time yet.

Obsession

One of my Facebook friends just commented that I am “obsessed” with sex. He says he was kidding but I know there is some truth in his mind to the comment.

Perhaps the word “obsessed” is a little excessive. I prefer to think of myself as “fascinated” or “honest”. Let me explain. First of all, yes I will admit that my attitude toward the topic of sex has changed toward the more liberal side from when I was in my 20’s. I am not sure whether it is age, experience or the men I have been with then compared to now.

I happen NOT to be one of the many women that you read about that does not enjoy sex. I never use the old “I have a headache” excuse and am NEVER “too tired”. If anything sex is a stress reliever for me. It takes my mind off of the woman I am outside of the bedroom along with her worries and ailments.

Supposedly women reach their sexual peak in their 40’s. Well I am there baby! Hey, I am enjoying this time in my life. My kids are finally old enough where I can move about. I can go to the office for work a few times a week and I can be among adults. As a woman who was tied down with two kids a year apart from each other not to mention their older brother this newfound freedom is enlightening to say the least.

The main thing about my honesty about sex I think is that by this point in my life it is clear to anybody that I am no longer a virgin. EXACTLY! I have been married twice and have children not to mention the fact that I am from New Jersey. I am not going to waste anybody’s time trying to pretend. Oh, by the way, the New Jersey reference has to do with my honesty…I am not saying that ladies from New Jersey are promiscuous.

I am also somewhat old fashioned in that I WANT to please my partner. I am not just looking to get laid or just to have an orgasm. It is about the whole connection with me. The intimacy between my partner and me and in the case of my husband this is “OUR time” just the two of us and I relish that. I enjoy trying new things and keeping things fresh. The men I have slept with can say a lot about me but I doubt any of them would say that I am “boring”.

So, what the hell is the big secret about sex among adults? As Miranda Hobbs from “Sex and the City” said… [Shopping for a wedding dress] I said, "No white, no ivory, no nothing that says 'virgin.'" I have a child. The jig is up. ...”

So what is wrong with a gal like me being honest  1. That I am no longer a virgin, 2. That I happen to enjoy the act of sex, 3. That I enjoy reading/researching the topics surrounding sex?

Please tell me.

Ladies Days

Yeah, yeah I know you guys don’t want to talk about it and you sure as hell don’t want to hear about it but guess what? If you are having sex especially if you are having sex with me then you should be damn interested in your partner’s cycle.

I can be particularly fertile so I for one look forward to the day that my body says “not this month”. I am not the type of person to whine about my period and it doesn’t really affect my activities for more than a day and the only activities it really affects are a heavy workout and sex.

So the other day “XXX” and I were in bed and he said “so when are we getting together again?” and I said, “well I am expecting my ‘friend’ at the end of the week so maybe next week?”

At which point “XXX” immediately assumed that “My friend” was G which is exactly what I didn’t want him to think. Anyway like I said I am not one to make a big stink about getting my period but if you are going to fuck me then don’t you want to make sure that things are “cool”?

Well, I SURE DO!

What's In A Name?

Okay it started out as sort of a joke and now it is well...a JOKE! Generally on AM, at least in my experience, a man would start a conversation either by chat or by email. Somewhere in there they would ask my name. That whole thing with AM was such a whirlwind to me that I figured it would be safer just to use part of my sign on name so I told them my name was “Kitty”. Oh, they knew that wasn’t my REAL name but in the interest of a little sexy fun they all went along with it but gave up their names pretty freely.

G asked my name at the very beginning of our chatting but has never asked since. Funny, right?

 Or is it? Don’t get me wrong. I still think it is kind of sexy that he doesn’t know my name, where I live, work etc. It’s sort of sexy that he doesn’t care. Well, it’s sexy AND sleazy.

"XXX" on the other hand knows just about EVERYTHING there is to know about me. He may even know my freakin’ social security number. Oh wait! I don’t think he knows my middle name OR my maiden name so I stand corrected.  Anyway there is something to be said for both situations.

"XXX" knows me well. I feel safe with him. I trust him. He is kind and when he says my name in bed it sends chills up my spine. When I see him at work we both blush because we know that once it’s lunch-time it is playtime for us.

G knows little or nothing about me. I can be anybody I want to be in bed. I am completely uninhibited. I am a Naughty Kitty.

Janice the Hunter

The following is an actual experience with a co-worker during the later twenties of my life. It was during the first few months of a new business start-up that a friend and I decided to venture shortly after graduate school. I was a typical over educated engineering and science student that just completed three degrees in about seven years from an Ivy League university. Needless to say, I was that geeky analytic and although I hate to admit it, a little naive and inexperienced. My world was focused on technology and the next great product. I was driven and was looking to make my mark on the world.

My business partner was my alter ego. He was extremely out-going and always had that great story to tell about his personal experience or about someone or some woman. Mostly about some woman and they were more then stories. Since he was my roommate through our college careers, I was an eye witness to his experiences. Sometimes he even included me, but those stories are for another day.

Well, in this case it was my time to get me some. It was in the later part of the 80’s and we just started an engineering business. It was just the two of us with a good idea, self funded and no idea how to turn a good idea into a successful business. We started the business in April of 1987 and by late June we need to staff a few positions, one of which was an administrative assistance and receptionist. We simply needed someone to do some paper work, letters and answer the phone. We interviewed a lot of people and finally an industry friend recommended his sister-in-law. She was 23 years of age, blonde, looking for a new job and looking to make her mark. She was all business and always looking for her next opportunity or career stepping stone. She was the complete package with looks, brains and a drive to accomplish whatever was thrown her way.

It wasn’t long before Janice received the nick-name “Janice the Hunter”. During those years, my business partner spent most of the time selling and on the road while I spent most of my time in the office working on our software product. As a result, our admin and I got to know each other pretty well. We discussed everything from work to weekend plans to our personal lives. It turns out Janice was in a relationship with an older man. Janice the Hunters significant other was twelve years older and it seemed distracted by many things. Certainly it didn’t seem that he was distracted by Janice the Hunter since one of her major complaints was how little sex she was getting.

I know I know… You still don’t understand why we named her Janice the Hunter. Don’t worry grasshopper. It will come.

During one of our many lunch outings, Janice the Hunter was specially pre-occupied and in a bit of a foul mood. After a good amount of coaxing, she finally opened up. Janice the Hunter was having doubt about her relationship. Her significant other just wasn’t doing for her or getting it done. Is was a complete turn-on to hear this beautiful woman talk like one of my buddies about how horny she was, how she just needs to get F..ked and feel a man's hot body next to her.

She went into great detail about what her moves would be. The first thing Janice the Hunter wanted was to feel a nice strong cock in her mouth. She went on to describe how she wanted to feel the veins of a man's erect cock in her mouth and on her tongue. Hey, these were her words not mine. Next and naturally, she wanted to feel a man go down on her. She gave me the position details, how she would lock the door for 24 hours and simply F..k away. When she described what she would do with a load of cum, I could feel some drops coming out of my cock. I was loosing my mind. I had a boner that was obvious. I needed some ice to calm this one down. I was hoping that Janice the Hunter would reach under the table and simply jerk me off. Something had to be done. NASA, we have a problem.

It was like Janice the Hunter was giving me a roadmap as to how to do her even though I didn’t think there a shot of me getting close.

Well, that night all I could do is think about Janice the Hunter and take matters into my own hands. Heck, it was my obligation. She gave me the script. It would be rude and impolite to not honor her plans and rehearse the script. One thing I am, is very obedient. If someone maps out how to do them, who am I not to follow their directions.

The next day was Friday which was our happy hour day/night. This week is was just the two of us since my business partner was stuck in New York. We decided to drive together since the local watering hole was down the road a bit and I would pass the office on the way home. During our ride I asked Janice if she got F..ked since our lunch. Her response, regrettable no but she did tell me she broke out her favorite vibrator and gave it a drive trough. Again, her words…

The best part was when she told me how she thought about me while getting off. This was my chance to make my move. It was a simpler time back in the 80’s. We didn’t worry about things like “inappropriate behavior” law suits. So I want for the deep long kiss which was well received. Even I could tell since Janice the Hunter immediately grabbed my crotch and took a good strong hold of my cock. Wait, there is more good news. This week we were going to a local sports bar that was in the lobby area of a hotel.

Clearly it was time to screw the drinks and screw Janice the Hunter. We got a room as quickly as possible. It seemed like we were undressed before we even got into the room. Over the next year, Janice the Hunter and I would F..k in any and every location. The office, our favorite hotel, my home, her home, outside, in the car, the office bathroom, the adjacent office coffee room. I am sure there were other places, but the places are not as important as what we did.

I had a few firsts with Janice beside F..king in every location know to man and having regular sex with the same person for over a year. My first first was her completely shaved kitty. Remember, this was the 80’s folks so cut me a little break. I could not keep my mouth off that kitty, the lips, her clit and sticking my tongue deep inside of her pussy. Ah, she taster so good. This of course led to another first… A woman that was able to experience multiple orgasms. Wow, how wet could a woman get.

Janice the Hunter was into cum. She loved to suck cock and take the full load. She liked to take it in and swallow in rhythm as I shot it in her mouth. She loved to allow it to collect in her mouth, show it to me, and then swallow it in its entirety. She loved to let me cum in her and then feed her my cum from her pussy with my fingers. But my favorite, she loved to have me shoot my cum while she kept her mouth wide open and try to catch it all. What ever missed and hit her face she would wipe with her finger and eat it right up. This girl could give head like no other woman I had met up to that time and still puts a few to shame.

Janice the Hunter also loved to have her ass licked. There wasn’t an orifice that Janice didn’t like to have licked or penetrated. When going down on Janice the Hunter, her favorite experience was to have her clit licked while having two fingers in her pussy and one in her ass. This would make her come and seep her pussy juice almost instantly. It was a seen man, a real seen and a total experience.

Now let’s get to the real act. Janice the Hunter had a magic pussy. That pussy was so tight I had to focus on not blowing my load in the first minute of being in her. Janice the Hunter and I hit every possible position that was physically possible for the both of us. She also wanted every hole hit. She loved to have her ass F..ked as much as her pussy. She would love to lick my cock once I was in her. It was like she needed a taste test. Once again, who am I to deny any request of hers.

Writing this story has made me hard like she used to make me. I think its time to re-connect with Janice the Hunter and see what she it up to. Thank goodness for the world of the internet and Facebook.

Over the next 14 months, Janice the Hunter and I had a great time exploring each other’s bodies, desires, needs and wants. It was almost cathartic for both of us. Our experience helped Janice the Hunter get out of her dead-end and under-appreciated relationship and it helped me to see what was possible, what I had missed up until this relationship and it helped me start my library of stories.

Hopefully you will get to read a few more of them. Oh yeah, the Janice the Hunter reference. Do I really need to spell this one out? I will let you know that my business partner gave her the nick-name based on telling him of what we experienced together. Janice certainly was a Hunter. A hunter of men and what she wanted from them.

This post has been contributed by The V-Man, yet another Ashley Madison friend of mine.

And So a Love Affair Begins

The other day after "XXX" ( he asked me to refer to him as "XXX" in my blog and me being the people pleaser that I am will oblige) and I fucked for the first time as we were getting dressed he said “It’s going to be hard not to fall in love with you, J”.

To which my reply was “Oh, I’m SURE you’ll manage. Most men do.”

"XXX" and I have been friends for nearly a year now and although we have spoken frankly about most things including sex, love, marriage I held certain information back from him because, well I didn’t want him to think badly of me and because he is one of my bosses.

Oh yeah I never mentioned that I would email him at work and try to be somewhat flirty. I would write “Do you want me today?” Meaning of course, do you have work for me to do?

It was my little way of having fun with him although his responses were always appropriate so I figured he was not picking up on the flirtation. Several months later he mentioned that our emails back and forth are being monitored by one of my co-workers whose job is explicitly to monitor for all sorts of inappropriate behaviors, emails, telephone conversations, even personal conversations. Need-less-to-say once "XXX" told me this, my flirtatious emails stopped.

So, our legal monitor would have a freakin’ field day with what is going on between "XXX" and me at this point.

Anyway, somehow I got off point. This all happened so fast with "XXX" that I did not have time to fully disclose my Ashley Madison activity and once the “love” comment flew out of his mouth I began to have regrets. I didn’t regret sleeping with him. I regretted the tangled web that I was now involved in with other potential lovers on AM and of course G.

I had just confirmed a lunch date this week with someone who I was really looking forward to meeting. I asked several online friends what they thought I should do. Should I cancel my lunch date or wait until Monday to see if "XXX" had regrets and wanted to back out of the whole deal.

Initially that is exactly what I thought would happen. Because if "XXX"’s personal history I did not want to sneak around. I felt that he was vulnerable and I did not want to be yet another cunt to cheat on him.

I couldn’t stop thinking about "XXX" all weekend. I finally broke down and texted him Saturday just telling him that I was thinking about him even though we agreed that we would not text, email or call each other. He texted back not right away saying that he was thinking about me all weekend.

Oh boy, he wasn’t having regrets. That was good but it was bad. I began to think of our relationship. I began to understand what he meant by love. My feelings for him are strong. We are friends and even before we slept together I had feelings for him. I wanted want the best for him. I want him to find true love. Isn’t that what real friends feel for one another? We simply took it to the next level.

I didn’t sleep at all last night. I kept thinking that I needed to come clean with "XXX" about what really happened on AM. He stopped me short when we were discussing it in bed the other day and I got the impression after re-reading his email that he had no idea that I actually acted on some encounters. I imagined how I would tell him. I imagined the words I would use and his reaction. Would he be less hurt if I told him before we fuck or should I tell him when we are done and still lying in bed. He could rub my clit again and I could tell him the whole story while kissing him. That would work, right? Either way, I was going to confess on Monday.

This morning I texted him again and said “good morning”. He responded and we went back and forth a little then at one point he texted “Can you call me?”

I happened to be walking alone so I went ahead and called him. He could tell that something was up. He could tell from my voice so I said “I need to be upfront with you about a few things because I don’t believe in lying by omission.”

I know people like that by the way. People who intentionally withhold information then when the other person says “why didn’t you tell me?” they say “you never asked.” Okay, that’s bullshit!

I cancelled my Tuesday lunch. I felt bad about cancelling but as I explained, I didn’t want to lead THAT guy on. He thanked me for emailing and not standing him up.

As difficult as it was I got everything that I needed to confess out. I told "XXX" about the Tuesday lunch that I cancelled and I also told him about G. I even told him that I am not ready to call it quits with G.

I expected this to be it but "XXX" took it well. He admitted that it would bother him but that he did not want to control me and so our time together will be our time. I agreed entirely with him and stressed that I wanted him to continue to date and be honest about it. I do want him to find true love. I really do.

"XXX" ended our conversation with a comment like “This is going to be a wonderful love affair.” And for the first time all weekend I agreed.

Right Under My Nose

I still smell him on me, his scent a combination of cologne and sweat from an afternoon rendezvous. It was as big a surprise for me as anybody. Well, only me because I am the only one who knows our little secret.

It started out with meeting in the hall before work. I was overly apologetic for missing so much work over the past few weeks for this thing or that.

Somehow we began talking about AM and I confessed that after only a few weeks I removed my profile.

He walked me to my office which was somewhat out of the norm but we are friends as well as work associates so I was not uncomfortable with it.

Later in the morning I received an email from him saying

“After talking to you this morning, it occurs to me that there might be good solution that might help us both in our particular situations.

I'm not sure, but I think it's better than what it appears you are considering and it would help me too.

When you have some time, let’s meet to discuss a plan.”

Me being me, I just assumed it was work related so I agreed to meet after I was done with my shift.

When I went to his office he was alone. He said “let’s take a walk”. As we walked he pled his case. He didn’t need to but he began talking about our friendship and being mature adults which again I found comical because I do not consider myself a mature adult and I told him that.

We stood alone outside for a few moments as he explained a plan for us…for US.

Oh obviously I had given it some thought. I wrote a god damned blog about fucking this guy. Well, I wrote a blog about fantasizing about fucking him. So here it was in my lap literally. What was I to do?

Even though I tried to remain calm I became rather uncomfortable. We were discussing this like mature adults out in the open. That is not me!

We agreed to go back to his place. Again, me being the idiot that I am I believed him when he said “just to make out a little”.

I followed him back to his place while desperately texting my old reliable friend Kittycat. What the fuck was she going to do to help me? I have no idea!

Once at his place we talked frankly once again about the situation and how he had been thinking about this for a while and while I admitted to him that I was too I never thought it would actually happen. We were are friends. We were are work associates. Basically he is one of my bosses!

We made ourselves comfortable on his couch and began kissing. Gently at first then his kisses became very intense. He began playing with my breasts and unhooked my bra at which point I realized that this was not going to be just making out. This was going to be full on FUCKING.

He led me upstairs where we undressed. He immediately began rubbing my clit again in an intense manner. I was not at all surprised that this is how he is in bed and was certainly not disappointed yet was still trying to cope with the idea that every time I opened my eyes he was who I saw.

He lifted my legs all the way up, both of them. Nobody had ever done this to me before and I liked it. He was able to reach everything down there which is good, right? Oh YES it’s GOOD!

He was hard as a rock which again is always good and moving so quickly and intensely that it felt like he was trying to get everything in at once. Later I told him “it felt like you were trying to get everything in at once.”

Admittedly I felt a little awkward. I was not emotionally prepared for this and certainly not physically prepared. If I know that I am going to have an encounter I make sure that I am clean and fresh. I did not have that opportunity so I was quite concerned that this was a turn off. He didn’t seem to mind and in fact told me not to shave. He likes some bush which is fine because that is exactly what I have.

He kept telling me that I am hot and beautiful and although I wanted to believe him I have never been able to take a compliment and kept telling him to stop.

He told me  that he jerked off in the morning while thinking about me. Is it wrong that this is a bigger turn on to me than him telling me that I am pretty?

I asked him what I was doing in his imagination. He said he bent me over his desk at work and fucked me that way. I found that pretty interesting considering that was almost exactly the fantasy that I wrote about in my blog about him.

We lay in bed finally and he continued to rub me while we talked. This was a huge distraction and I can’t help but wonder how things will be on Monday and how we will be discussing some client’s financial plan with him rubbing my clit.