Heartbroken

He walked out of my life today. Oh, I know he’ll be back. But it hurts just the same. I had him for such a short time. I fell in love with him at first sight. Even before, I think. When I look at him I get butterflies in my stomach. He is so beautiful that I want to cry. He is perfect in every way. He is smart and handsome and kind and God does he make me laugh.

I think he knew today would be difficult for me. We both knew it was the end…for now. He invited me to see the new Mark Wahlberg movie. He knows that Mark Wahlberg makes me wet. As we sat in the movie we joked about my “thing” for Mark. I shushed him every time Mark had a line. He laughed. As the movie progressed I got more and more tense. I knew that once the movie was over it was time for him to go and I was dreading it.

After the movie he went to the men’s room and I waited. I tried to fight back the tears. He insisted on walking me to my car and we made small talk but then it was time. I knew I had to let him go. I tried to fight the tears. He leaned down to kiss me. He is so much taller than me. I tried to stay focused on not crying. He turned to walk away then stopped and said “Stay out of trouble.” Then he smiled that gorgeous smile of his. The smile that turns me into a puddle of goo. All he has to do is flash that smile and his wish is my command.  I couldn’t speak. I smiled but he could tell that I was starting to crumble.

I got into my car and tried to pull away without him seeing me crack. I didn’t want to be the first to leave but I didn’t want him to see me cry. I didn’t want him to hear me as I cried out “Please don’t leave me!”

He texted me about two hours later, "I'm here safe and sound. Thanks for everything. I love you Mom."

Celibate Kitty

I initially made the comment that I am going to become celibate to Bad Boy the other day and then Jiminy Cricket after an incident with XXX.

Bad Boy’s reaction was “Now don’t get crazy.” He also made a comment about my “Hoo-ha drying up” which believe it or not is one of my worst fears.

Jiminy Cricket found my vow more humorous. The two men who supported my decision were XXX and Angry Guy.

Now if the two guys that are most likely to sleep with me are supportive of my vow of celibacy what does THAT tell you?!?!!?

I told Jiminy that I think men like the way I write. They like to chat online, they like to text, email and they LOVE to read my blog but in person…not so much. I can only attribute that to men not being physically attracted to me. Okay so I can deal with that…I guess.

Now I know you are thinking that Kitty is fishing for compliments but I assure you that is not the case. I have never thought of myself as physically attractive as I told Jiminy. Growing up I was told that I was smart and I have been told that I am funny but Kitty has never been labeled as “pretty”. It wasn’t until this whole Ashley Madison nonsense with foolish men telling me non-truths that I started to believe. At any rate I was driving into work today thinking about the gym and thinking how well I do when I just go for me. Then Kitty started thinking about how well I do when I focus on work, when I focus on family and when I just do what I have to do to make myself happy.

I began thinking about all the time and energy I have been spending caring for the needs of strange men, emailing them, chatting with them, stroking their egos because their wives have stopped, meeting strange men in hotel rooms only to be left unfulfilled. Kitty has been spending an awful lot of my attention on men who don’t appreciate it and who offer nothing in the way of attention in return. Is that their fault? CERTAINLY NOT! These men don’t ask for Kitty’s attention. They have wives and families that take priority and Kitty is completely understanding about that.

So Kitty made the comment half joking then began to think about it and realize that for all intents and purposes I AM ALREADY CELIBATE just not by choice.

So now Kitty is making the choice. I know you are thinking “Kitty, whatever will you write about now?” Well, I am sure I will think of SOMETHING! I still have plenty that I have written about my Ashley Madison escapades but just never posted.

And you may all have to be supportive until I get my bearings. Kitty is going to have to re-focus all of that sexual energy on something else. I just haven’t decided yet what it will be.

Well first thing I can tell you is that Kitty is going to focus more on the gym and my eating. I already go to the gym faithfully but now it is time to kick it up a notch.

Kitty also has to focus on work. XXX has been wanting me to put in more hours in his office as opposed to in his bed so it may be time and it is a good career move for me. Big Cheese also needs me more so those afternoons in hotel rooms will be spent better earning money and working out.

Kitty also plans to spend more time with my platonic friends. Even though XXX and I won’t be fucking he needs my friendship and I am here for him not to mention I am here for all my other friends men and women who make me smile every day. It’s Kitty’s turn to give back.

Don’t you worry though. Kitty will find my way. I always do.

The Masterpiece Part 2

I slip off my heels and my dress leaving me in thigh highs and the red panties and bra. I begin to undress you as we kiss first unbuttoning your shirt. You take off your pants and shoes then I work my way down. I kiss my way down your neck then run my tongue down your chest, stomach grabbing the waist of your underwear in my teeth and quickly working them off to expose your huge hard cock. I sigh as I quickly remember looking at it as a young girl in wonder.

My initial response is to put it in my mouth. I smile at the idea that you were the reason for all of this and then I proceed to suck on you. I enjoy you in my mouth much more than I did as a young girl. I savor the head of your cock. I run my tongue up and down the shaft. I can’t get enough of you. I want you inside of me but am enjoying sucking you. I am sucking you hard and you are moaning standing.

“Move over to the bed,” you tell me. I stand and walk over with you behind me.

“Get on all fours,” you command. I am wet with anticipation. I prepare myself for the unknown. I am excited and frightened at the same time. What will come next? I truly have gone back in my head to those days of our youth when you gave me commands and I had no idea what the outcome would be.

I feel you behind me. You rub your cock up against my ass and run your fingers quickly over my clit. You move your cock into my pussy. I moan with pleasure. You begin thrusting. Each thrust sends me to a place of ecstasy. I am in my own world hardly paying attention to my surroundings. I hear your voice. At least I THINK I hear your voice and then you are in front of me but still thrusting behind me. Wait...it takes me a moment to realize that there is another person here…another man.

“Suck my dick,” you tell me. And I do with pleasure. The feeling of being fucked from behind by an unknown stranger along with the thrill of sucking your cock and feeling completely safe with you makes my head spin and my body quiver. In no time I am cumming as I hear the man behind me moaning as though he is cumming.

“Get on top of him and ride his dick,” you tell me. The unknown man immediately pulls out of me and rolls on his back on the bed. I climb on top of him. He feels so good. His cock is as big as yours and hard as a rock. I move up and down then lean forward to let you in from behind. You slide your cock in my ass. This double penetration almost immediately makes me cum but I don’t want to yet. I want to enjoy the sensation. Things are moving too fast and I have lost all control.

Before long I am exhausted and wondering where you two men get all of your energy. I am completely full and satisfied when you put me on my back and begin to shoot cum at my face. My eyes are closed and my mouth is open. I am tasting your cum and remembering once again our youth and your direction. Again I am smiling at the idea that things have come full circle. In my haze of ecstasy I do not realize that three more men have entered the room. I hear their voices. They are all telling me the same thing. They are all telling me to suck their cocks. I am thinking to myself this must be a dream. I pull myself up onto my knees and suck each cock until another pushes its way in my face. I am dripping with cum. As each man cums they aim toward my face. Someone tells me “You look beautiful covered in all that cum.”

I begin to rub some over my body. The cum is warm and I am wet and things have gotten quiet. I open my eyes and see just you in the room. You are smiling at me. I want to kiss you but I am covered.

“I’ll clean up,” I say.

“Leave it,” you reply.

You come over to the bed where I am now sitting. You lay me down flat and begin kissing me starting at my mouth then down my neck to my breast. You begin sucking my nipples. I know I am covered in cum but that does not seem to bother you.

You climb on top of me and throw my legs over your shoulders. I grab for your hard cock and find it quickly then put it inside of me. You begin fucking me and it feels amazing even better than several men at once.

I look into your eyes and see that you are about to cum. I feel your body tense and at the same moment my body succumbs and I cum too.

We fall away from each other both exhausted. I am paralyzed. My body has never felt so spent. My body has never felt so much pleasure at one time.

The Masterpiece

Okay, those of you who read my blog daily may remember that Bad Boy wanted me to write a fantasy blog just for him. Kitty was ready, willing and able but had a bit of…um…”WRITER’S” block. Okay let’s just go with THAT. So Bad Boy helped me along as always with some of his Bad,Bad emails and together we created what we refer to as our “Gang Bang Masterpiece”.

I want to thank Bad Boy for the inspiration and also thank him for trying to convince me not to take a vow of celibacy. What can I say, it’s been a rough week. Thank you Bad Boy. Enjoy!

When I think of you and I can’t help but go back to our childhood. Yes, back to a time where we spent hours tucked away in our childhood bedrooms, our friend’s bedrooms at parties, on couches of families that I used to babysit for and the occasional peach field. Those were innocent days for me. We played. We romped and we explored.

I don’t know if I ever told you this but there was a point where I had reconciled to “go all the way” with you. I had thought to myself that you would be “the one”. And then…you pulled back…or so it seemed. Sure, at the time I may have been hurt but looking back it was perhaps the kindest thing a man could have ever done for me. As a result we are friends to this day. It is not important why we did what we did back then. I just look back and realize that I wasn’t ready and if we had consummated that part of our friendship who knows where we would be today.

What I am thinking about now is how far we have both come and how far our friendship has come. I believe if we consummated this friendship now we would definitely end it. I am not sure why but all of my lovers leave. I must project neediness once we have completed the act. I have been told that I push them away when in fact I believe they are the pushers.

At any rate I do think about us. I do imagine you and me together. I have very fond memories of your cock and crave a reunion so that I can appreciate you the way I could not appreciate you when we were children and yes, we WERE children…at least I was.

From where I stand there are different types of fucking. There is hard fucking and there is slow sweet fucking resembling love making. I can go either way but much prefer a combination of each. In the harsh cold winter months here on the east coast I can’t help but want to take a trip down to your neck of the woods. Your tropical home. Preferably an upscale luxury hotel. My fantasy would be to fly down to see you and arrive at the hotel with time to unwind and relax and enjoy a nice glass of champagne and a bubble bath.

You and I would have dinner reservations. Yes, a romantic dinner but casual. I am dressed entirely in black aside from the red bra and panties I am wearing underneath my short black dress. Although my dress is conservative it is clingy and low cut revealing just a hint of cleavage. To be honest I am not all that hungry but the dinner is important. You and I need to reconnect in person. I need some time to look into your eyes and drink in your smile. You always had a beautiful smile.

I am not drinking at dinner. I want to have my wits about me. I want to feel you on every level. It’s been a long time. I want to enjoy the entire experience. After all how many times does a girl like me get a “do-over”?

You ask me toward the end of our meal if I would like to take a tour of your city. I say that I would love to in the morning but am starting to feel a headache coming on then I give you a little wink. I am not sure at this point if you understand my ploy or not but you agree to take me back to the hotel.

I invite you in and look into your eyes hoping that you are thinking what I am thinking. I am hoping that you are feeling what I am feeling. You tell me that you will walk me to my room which makes me feel at ease not only because I want to fuck you but because the idea of going up to an empty hotel room in a strange city is a bit daunting to me. I am still a country girl at heart I suppose.

We walk into the room which has been prepared for the evening by the service. The lights are on but turned down to a romantic hue and the bedspread has been removed exposing a luxurious king size bed. “That bed looks so big for one person,” you say.

I lay down my purse and turn to you. You close the door behind us and hold my face in your hands then begin to kiss me. It has been such a long time. I forget how your mouth feels on mine and yet it feels like home.

You move your hands down the side of my body slightly pressing up against me. You run your tongue inside my mouth which immediately makes me wet and makes me moan at the same time. I want this moment to last. The anticipation is mounting and I am dying to get out of my clothes. More importantly I am dying to get YOU out of your clothes but I choose to wait. I want to enjoy every moment. We have all night. This is a rare luxury for me and I want to savor it.

To be continued...

“We Bought a Zoo”

Kitty took the kids to see “We Bought a Zoo”. Kitty was a blubbering mess. Little known Kitty fact…I am hard as nails on the outside but completely sensitive on the inside. It’s not always something I am proud of and one of the very reasons I started prowling was to try to toughen up. It seems to have made things worse.

Anyway, I cried through the ENTIRE movie. My kids thought this was hysterical as did all the people we ran into that we knew on the way out of the theatre. I told everybody I was crying because I realized I will never sleep with Matt Damon but I think they knew better.

Most of the people who really know me will assume right off the bat that I cried over the animals. Yeah, Kitty is a huge animal lover. My Ex used to make fun of me because I refused to watch a movie like “Single White Female” because there was a puppy in it. He said, “you can watch mob movies night and day but throw an animal in there and you fall to pieces.” As usual the Ex was correct.

Sure, I was crying over the animals and their dilemmas (I am trying not to give away too much of the plot for those of you who might go see the movie) but the story line of Matt Damon mourning his dead wife struck home for Kitty as well.

See, Kitty believe it or not is a big believer in karma…I know RIGHT! And Kitty’s worse fear is that I will die from some awful form of cancer or Alzheimers and not live to see my children grow up. I know. Kitty has an active imagination. At any rate the fact that this is the story line of the movie sort of put Kitty over the edge. And the fact that Kitty has some pretty bad karma coming my way…well….you get the point.

Another thing that really struck me had to do with Angry Guy. I have to say that Angry Guy loves me like Matt Damon loved his dead wife. If anything happened to me I truly believe Angry Guy would fall to pieces. I think the dude loves me; he just doesn’t want to fuck me. Pretty fucked up wouldn’t you say?

Ah so you can see how I tortured myself throughout this movie to the point of becoming a blubbering mess. Like I told my kids, “I’m crying because I will never sleep with Matt Damon. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it!”

P.S. I highly recommend the movie. Scarlett Johansen was hot if nothing else.

Why Bad Boy is SO Bad

This morning I vowed to be a “good kitty”. Okay, I vowed to be focused at work on the second to the last day before Big Cheese returns from his long ass vacation. So ask me why the hell I decided to check my personal email from work?!?!?!

Well, everything was going so smoothly. Big Cheese emailed me with a “;)” in the subject line so I knew he was in a good mood. There were no crazy emergencies over the weekend and the mail was manageable.

Bad Boy and I had been emailing throughout the weekend but nothing out of the ordinary. Sunday night he turned the tides and let me know that not only did he REALLY like those “Discipline” posts that I wrote but he wanted me to write one for him. I explained to him that although I am surely up for the challenge those posts are inspired by men that I have actually been with…fucked. So when I write those posts I can literally hear their voices and feel them inside of me.

It’s been a LONG time since I have seen Bad Boy in person, not to mention a long time since I have seen or tasted his cock. I do remember it though. I remember it was large and HARD. DAMN! Do you have any idea what that does to a girl? Do men have any idea what girls go through when the first cock they ever see is big and hard like that?!?!?!

Well let’s just say that not all the cocks I have seen have measured up which is fine but still…

So sometime on Sunday in the midst of negotiating a reunion with XXX Bad Boy began emailing me how he wants me to write about what I want him to do to me. Believe me I have given it some thought but I am beginning to sound repetitive so I wanted to think of something unique just for Bad Boy. He said “no pressure.”

I thought about it all day Sunday throughout the night. I began writing a “Reunion” piece this morning but was taking my time. I knew Bad Boy wanted something sexy and filthy but all I could come up with was something romantic so I decided to give it a rest. Sometimes that’s what Kitty has to do. I have to mull things over. I have to picture Bad Boy and really think of all the naughty things I want him to do to me. But keep in mind that when I think of Bad Boy my heart gets warm because above all, he is my high school crush the guy who taught me how to give blow jobs.

Yes, I have once again gotten off track. So things were moving along nicely at the office and for whatever reason I figured I’d check my personal email which I hardly ever do and BAM! There it was! An email from Bad Boy and a NAUGHTY email at that! Now I am not going to go into detail about what he said. It was short and to the point but damn did it make Kitty wet!

I immediately replied “Fuck! I opened this at work!” meaning now I was totally turned on and completely distracted by the thought of Bad Boy’s hard cock specifically the thought of Bad Boy’s hard cock in my mouth…my pussy or my ass. DAMN you Bad Boy!

Finally I gathered my wits and sent another response to his email about the things that I now wanted him to do to me now that he completely distracted me. I think he will like it.

Now Kitty has to pull myself together and get back to work.

Damn that Bad Boy! He is SO Bad for distracting me and making me wet while I am at work. I will have to add a “Tongue lashing” to my list of punishments for him.

“Innocent” Texting

Since I have all but lost contact with most of my former lovers I got out of the habit of carrying my cell phone with me everywhere. There was a point where I brought it in the bathroom with me not to mention kept it under my pillow at night. I would receive random texts all times of the night and day depending on the man. Since Angry Guy has a tendency to wake up throughout the night and wander about I didn’t want him to pick up my phone at the wrong time. It’s been kind of nice actually…not having to worry so much…not having to cover my tracks.

So last night on my way up to bed for whatever reason I glanced on my phone just to make sure nobody had called or texted and sure enough there was a text from none other than XXX. What the fuck is THAT about? Originally I looked at the text and it made no sense so I thought a. He is drunk or 2. he meant to text a family member and texted me instead. It turns out the reason it made no sense was because it was German. UGH! WTF?!

So I texted back “lol…huh?” Thinking that I would get an apologetic text back or something. It turns out he was in some sort of a chatty mood. I will spare you the details but of course Kitty being Kitty once I realized that the text was in fact intentionally sent to me texted “You know how wet I get when you speak/type German” To which his reply was “Wow! What a thing to say.”

Okay, now was I WRONG to assume that this would turn into a “Naughty” texting session? I mean keep in mind that this guy had been adamant AGAINST any sort of texting while we were involved and now suddenly out of the blue he is texting me a “how ya doin’?” kind of text at night.

Not that I mind but come on! So once I confirmed that XXX was not drunk and was not in a playful mood I began answering his questions like “What are you doing?” I explained that I was reading and playing an online game with my friends and losing to every single one of them. He commented twice “You have A LOT of friends.” Then made a crack like “so they are your friends so they can beat you?” To which my reply was “Exactly”. Then added “Plus rumor has it I give good head.” Then a moment later I added “Inappropriate again?”

XXX responded “YES! But this is not monitored by [My assistant]”.

After a few more innocent remarks he added “I haff to putten das kinder to bed. Guten nacht herr fraulein.” Damn him!

I tried with all my might to get something naughty out of him. I asked if he was going to dream about me. He responded “yesJ” which meant that he would be thinking about me while masturbating. Sorry, but I STILL consider that a compliment. My final request was that he dreams about me winning my online game. “It’s sexier,” I said.

So, I am wondering what the fuck is up with XXX. Has he completely gone off his rocker?!?!?! First he is emailing me Grizzly Adams scenarios that are being monitored by legal advisors and now he is texting me at home after preaching how dangerous that could be for me. I know his attitude now is “I don’t care anymore.” But JEEZ-US!

Leave it to Naughty Kitty to get a hold of a great guy like XXX on his way DOWN the ladder of success AND sanity rather than when he is on his way up.

To be continued…