One of my bosses the other day…you know the one who I fantasize about fucking? Well he is going through therapy with his wife. They are separated. The whole thing is really quite sad because in my opinion she is stringing him along and I don’t know why. He is an amazing catch. Fine, BITCH, you don’t want him? Then set him free!
Of course by the time she sets him free he will be so fucked up in the head that no other woman will be able to gain his trust. So I want to thank that bitch for fucking up a perfectly good man for the rest of single woman society. I was being facetious by the way.
So yesterday at work my boss gave me this book that he uses as his “Bible”. Actually he has been gushing over it for some time but I was looking for something to read while I ate my lunch so I asked him if I could read it. This made him happy because he is one of those people that like to recommend a book that he loves and you have to LOVE it too.
So I glanced through the book. It’s called “5 Love Languages”. I forget all of the languages but basically they are “touch”, “random acts of kindness”, “gifts”, “words of encouragement” and I forget the fifth because it obviously doesn’t apply.
Right off the bat I told my boss that my “language” is “touch”…mainly because I like sex A LOT. He agreed that his language was sex also but his wife’s was “random acts”.
Then he wanted me to take the quiz at the end of the book. I answered 30 questions which were really the same 5 questions worded 6 different ways. Let me tell you that can really fuck with a girl’s head at the end of a long work day.
The result is that my language is “Words of encouragement” which is total bullshit in my opinion. I mean I like words of encouragement but if I am not getting laid who the fuck cares?
I am sorry but I really don’t buy that bullshit that sex is not a big part of a relationship. For me it is a HUGE portion otherwise what the hell do I need another controlling man around here for? Sorry guys, it is all about the dick at this point in my life. Oh, don’t get me wrong, I love a great companion for dinner and a movie but if you are not going to provide me with an orgasm at the end of the evening then I see no reason for us to sleep in the same bed.
Who’s with me?