JEEZ-US! I was just about to sit down and write an innocent blog about the evils of sugar when I checked my facebook inbox and BAM! My silent sex blog consultant shot me a link to a particular porn clip. OMG! If that chick had curly hair she could have been me!!! She had the same damn nighty that I just bought with my Victoria’s Secret gift card.
I thought and thought about all the men I have been with and if any camera crews were in the room with me at any given time during any of my sexual encounters. I would remember that, right?
Okay so she was giving a guy a blow job and you all know I was studying her technique. I am always looking for new little tricks. My consultant obviously sent me the link because the woman in the porn used Altoids and I think my consultant was trying to bring back that horrible Altoid incident that I experienced...either that or he wanted me to see how I SHOULD have done it.
The problem I have with porn, specifically this clip was that there are a lot of distractions for me. First and foremost the fact that this chick was wearing my exact nighty. Second, who the hell was filming this?!!? Was the guy holding the camera with one hand and patting the woman’s head with his other? If he WAS holding the camera he did a damn good job of keeping it straight!
The music was also quite distracting. I suppose it is that way in most porn.
Initially it looked like the guy’s penis was black but the rest of him was white. I am not sure if this was my imagination or not. Maybe he didn’t clean properly. Maybe he had that illness that Michael Jackson claimed he had where he “turned” white. I wonder if Michael Jackson’s penis stayed black while the rest of him turned white.
The last thing that caught my attention was the way this guy patted the woman’s head at the end…sort of like she was a dog. Is that a common thing that guys do? “The Angry Guy” doesn’t pat my head…EVER! He knows better.
So you can all see that I have a little “Porn A.D.D.” But the bottom line is that even though that woman in the video resembles me… that woman in the porn is NOT me! I SWEAR!
See for yourself if you don’t believe me.
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