Pregaming

So Kitty is going to a BBQ. A lot of Kitty’s besties are going to be there including Knightrider. The other day Kitty was talking to one of Knightrider’s old old friends. For the sake of the blog let’s call her Stretch. She has got to be close to six foot in heels to Kitty’s five feet. Anyway, Stretch has known Knightrider since they were kids. The other night after our lobster dinner Stretch texted Kitty to say that she had a good time the night before. We began texting back and forth and I asked her what she thought of Kitty and Knightrider as a couple. Stretch did not confirm or deny thinking we would be a good match but she did strongly encourage me to let him know how I feel. Kitty thinks that is a TERRIBLE idea!!! Like I mentioned in the previous post, after mulling it over I think I am just not Knightrider’s flavor. If I confess my attraction to him it will make things way too awkward for Kitty…Knightrider and our whole group of friends.

Stretch recommended Kitty get on a website and find a play mate. Kitty thinks it’s cute that Stretch who has been with the same man for 35 years is trying to coach Kitty on how to set up a play date. Stretch clearly does not know about Kitty’s secret life. Kitty explained to Stretch that I want to find a special playmate. A special someone that I can bring home and enjoy both inside and OUTSIDE the bedroom. It’s difficult to explain to people how Kitty feels. I am not looking for a husband. I am not looking for a live in boyfriend but Kitty is ready to try to be monogamous again…with the right person. Don’t worry! That doesn’t look like it’s going to happen anytime soon. I thought Knightrider would be a perfect catch for Kitty since he is bi-coastal so Kitty would have lots of free time which I love. Knightrider also gets along with Kitty’s kids so we have family time including Knightrider which is nice for all of us. Kitty just thought instead of sending Knightrider home after our family dinners maybe we could have a little sexy time and Kitty wouldn’t have to sneak around anymore.

So as you can see Kitty has thought about this a lot but alas as I said before, I am not Knightrider’s flavor. But Kitty still needs sexy time so Kitty decided to be a little naughtier than usual. Kitty texted Hammer to see what he was up to. Same old Hammer still has the wife, kids AND the girlfriend. Kitty chatted about the prospect with good old Bader who advised to just use Hammer as a tool to release some of this pressure that has been building up in Kitty’s southern region. And so Kitty decided to take Bader’s advice. Kitty put Hammer’s wife, kid’s and girlfriend out of my mind and scheduled a play date with Hammer the morning of the BBQ with Knightrider.

I texted Stretch to tell her that I took her advice. She was very excited for Kitty and mentioned over and over how she lives vicariously through her single friends now. Kitty thinks that’s a shame since Stretch’s hubby is a cutie. I’m sure he’d be fun in bed too! Kitty mentioned to Tall about our other friend who slept with Knightrider and wouldn’t dish. Stretch agreed that this goes against the girl code. So now that we are comrades Kitty answers any of Stretch’s questions. Stretch asked Kitty all sorts of questions about my play date with Hammer. Of course Kitty does not tell anybody that Hammer is actually married. Fucking a married man is a no-no in my circle especially since some of the couples are in fact married. Kitty doesn’t want anybody thinking I am checking out their husbands…even though I am.

So now Kitty AND Stretch are excited about my play date with Hammer. Kitty is very excited about the idea of Hammer’s hands on me. Kitty is excited about the idea of Hammer’s hands inside of me. Kitty is excited about sucking Hammer’s cock. Kitty is excited about Hammer’s cock inside of me but mostly Kitty is excited about fucking Hammer and then attending a BBQ shortly after that with Knightrider. It should be a fun day all around.

Just Not His Flavor

Kitty had a pretty good weekend. Saturday I went for a walk on the beach with one of my girlfriends, got some stuff done around the house then went out with my besties for a lobster dinner. Knightrider was there of course. Kitty had the opportunity to get free tickets to see Queen. The group was split as to whether we should go or not and since I wanted to hang with Knightrider and he wasn’t into it, Kitty refused the tickets and opted for lobster instead. Not exactly Sophie’s choice.

The trip to the restaurant was about an hour away and Knightrider offered to drive his badass truck. Knightrider is a good driver. He is the one person that I feel safe as a passenger in his car so Kitty was pleased at the offer. When I pulled up to his place, he was just coming out of his house, Kitty pulled up next to his bad ass truck. Knightrider was wearing a pink polo, jeans and flip flops. Not typically a look Kitty is attracted to but for whatever reason Knight rider pulled it off and he pulled it off well, His jeans were just the right amount of loose and when he sat Kitty could see that his long legs had an athletic shape to them. Not too skinny and not heavy. His arms of course were muscular and his tan made the pink polo shirt pop. I walked up to him and he bent just slightly to allow me to kiss him on his cheek. Without realizing it, I had put my hand around his arm. This is all very natural to Kitty.

Knightrider drove me and another bestie to the restaurant. We had great conversations from everything from cars to the other bestie’s new rental property. Knightrider and Kitty connect on a much deeper level than any man I can think of other than Angry Guy. Knightrider and Kitty have great conversations and even if we don’t agree on topics, our conversations never become heated. I would have to say the only thing that really bothers me about him is the fact that he just doesn’t see how good we could be together. Knightrider is trying too hard to meet the hot chicks and I think he sees Kitty as more of a little sister which is really a shame because Kitty is thinking I could suck his dick better than any of the hot chicks that he goes out with that are just using him for money.

When we finally arrived we started with drinks on a schooner bar. The weather was beautiful that evening. There were others who were coming from the beach and the crowd pushed Kitty and Knightrider closer together. I listened as he told one of the others in our group about a date he had the day before. He said, “She was nice but doesn’t share our humor. She’s not working.” When I asked if he was going to see her again he said, “Sure”. Okay…WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?! Knightrider, DON’T YOU SEE IT?!?!?! DON’T YOU SEE THAT SHE’S NOT THE ONE?!?!?! DON’T YOU SEE ME RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU?!?!?

When the entire group assembled we went to the dining room. Knightrider had texted me the night before to ask if I was going for the whole lobster or the tail. Kitty is sentimental about my father lately and since he introduced me to cracking open whole lobsters at a very young age, I assured Knightrider that I was going for the whole lobster bib and all.

The rest of the group perused the menu but Kitty knew exactly what I was getting. The only question was size. When the waitress asked the size, Knightrider took the initiative and ordered the 2 pounder for me. When Knightrider took control it completely made Kitty wet. Kitty loves a man who takes control as we all know and I can’t help but wonder how that translates in the bedroom. The orders were taken and aside from ordering the tail as opposed to the whole lobster Knightrider’s meal was identical to Kitty’s. We have an uncanny love of all the same foods and we talk about food a lot. Again, other than Angry Guy, I can’t remember a connection like that with any other man.

When the dinner was served and the waitress offered Kitty a lobster bib, Knightrider immediately took a picture. Kitty has a vegetarian friend who had been torturing me the night before about killing lobster for my dining pleasure. In an effort to yank her chain a little Knightrider took the picture then I texted it to vegetarian friend as a goof. Knightrider knowing all of this was happy to oblige.

The rest of the meal we ate, we chatted, we laughed and then it was time to roll out of there. Knightrider pulled the car up and we were on our way home. He had his satellite radio on and we were enjoying the music talking about all the greats. Suddenly Knightrider’s phone lit up. He was receiving a text. I glanced over at the name and could see that it was a woman…not necessarily a romantic interest but he picked up the phone and began to text as his truck veered off the road. Kitty sitting in the front seat calmly repeated his name until he looked up and swerved back onto the road. Close call and Kitty is in no mood to lose my life over some other woman that’s for damn sure.

Finally getting back to Knightrider’s place safely our evening came to an end. Once again, he bent down allowing me to kiss his cheek and say goodnight.

The next morning Knightrider called Kitty. We chatted about the evening before and the upcoming weekend. We talked about our friend who has been extremely combative lately and again Kitty thought, “Don’t you see how wonderful we would be together?!??”

More and more Kitty has been looking at Knightrider. I look at his hands and wonder how they would feel on me. I watch him sitting and wonder how climbing on top of him would feel. I look at his lips and wonder how they would feel on mine but mostly I wonder how his cock would feel inside of me.

Last night a female friend of his texted me. She has known Knightrider since they were kids. I asked her advice. She said to tell him how I feel. This could ruin everything. I explained how awkward things would be in the group if he did not share the same feelings and based on the opinions of my male friends, Knightrider would have made a move by now if he were the least bit interested in Kitty romantically.

Kitty is not sure why Knightrider does not see what could be between us. Kitty can only guess that Knightrider is not attracted to Kitty. There is no other explanation.

Kitty is simply not Knightrider’s flavor. Some men like blondes. Some men like thin women. Some men like tall women. Kitty is none of those things. Kitty is not any of those flavors.

Love Letters

There are women out there who are easily impressed by a man who writes a sentimental poem, note, love letter. They enjoy reading words like “love”, “Beautiful”, and “faithfully”. But then you have your girls like Kitty. I mean, don’t get me wrong, if there is a man out there that sincerely “LOVES” Kitty and wants to be “FAITHFUL” to Kitty and wants to pledge his undying affections to Kitty then…AWESOME but what’s even more awesome to Kitty and what gets Kitty SUPER wet is a sexy email.

Oh Kitty gets sexy emails here and there but the other day when Bill and Kitty were emailing back and forth; Bill sent Kitty the sexiest email I think I have EVER gotten.

Now a little quick reminder of who Bill is. Bill is an avid reader of Kitty’s blog. He contacted Kitty several weeks ago after I posted the blog about tight ass friends and Bill and Kitty have been email buddies ever since. Bill unfortunately lives clear across the world as far as Kitty is concerned so the likelihood of us ever fulfilling our fuck fantasy is practically non-existent but it never hurts a kitty to dream.

So during one of our email chats, Kitty posed the question to Bill: “How would YOU fuck Kitty if you were given the chance?”

Well within a few hours (Kitty and Bill DO work ya know!!!) Bill explained exactly how he would go about fucking Naughty Kitty and can I just say that Bill is a quick study. He has read my blog for years and clearly knows all the points that make Kitty wet. So Kitty is sharing Bill’s email. Tell me what you think…

Hmmmm... How would I fuck Kitty?

Well first of all, I would give Kitty lots of foreplay. Lots of kissing. Sucking Kitty's nipples as gentle or as hard as she would like. Fingering Kitty's pussy while I suck her nipples, because I know that's the ticket to getting her nice and wet. But Kitty probably is already wet knowing she's going to have herself a stiff hard cock to feast on. And maybe while Kitty's devouring my cock, I'll have her swing her ass around and enjoy a 69, sucking on her clit while my nose graces her slit.
Kitty wants to fuck by now, but Bill needs more pussy time... So he gets down on the floor and brings Kitty's wanting snatch right up to the edge of the bed, so he can comfortably kneel beside the bed and eat her cunt. Bill hopes Kitty can cum from that as not all women can, but he likes nothing more than a face full of pussy juice before he starts to fuck.

But before they fuck, Bill wants his cock sucked more. So he stands up, puts Kitty on her back and has her hang her head back off the edge. Because Bill loves a good mouth fuck. Fucking Kitty's throat as his balls crash up against her nose. Kitty would love a mouthful of Bill's tasty cum, but she knows better -- Bill would much rather cum deep inside Kitty's cunt.

And then its time. Bill knows Kitty loves it rough and from behind, but oh no, not yet. Since Bill's cock has never penetrated his fair Kitty, he wants to look into her eyes as he enters her for the first time. Seeing Kitty's reaction as he goes inside and then kissing her passionately, mixing the pussy juices on his lips with Bill's precum on hers. Bill hopes he can make Kitty cum this way, but if not, there's plenty of other ways he has in mind to fuck her. Bill likes it when Kitty goes cowgirl, as he can suck her nipples while she controls the pace ...Or if Kitty prefers, she can spin around into a reverse cowgirl, as Bill loves nothing more than the visual of Kitty's pussy lips bobbing up and down on Bill's cock.

So by now Kitty has hopefully enjoyed 3 or 4 or more orgasms. Now it’s Bill's turn ... And because Bill wants a knee-buckling, standing orgasm he hops off and stands next to the bed. Flipping Kitty over with her ass high in the air so he can give Kitty the rough pounding she so loves from behind ... And Bill positions himself so he can see himself fucking in the mirror. Because there's nothing more dirty, more raunchy, more filthy, than fucking Kitty like a dog in heat. And Bill loves to watch his ass in the mirror as he thrusts into Kitty, first slowly .. then hard and fast. And Bill especially loves it this way because his wife would never give it to him like this ... So nothing brings Bill more joy than a hard-core, lecherous, taboo-by-his-wife's definition doggie style fuck.

And with all those dirty thoughts in mind .. all those thoughts of fucking Kitty the way she deserves and loves to be fuck, Bill needs to cum. And he tells Kitty its time "I'm gonna cum, baby .. this is it ..." And with one loud, continuous growl he explodes .. spasm by glorious spasm .. filling Kitty's cunt with his delicious spunk... and slumping over Kitty's back in exhaustion.

I need a cigarette and I don't even smoke!!

All I have to say is, “So does Kitty, Bill. So does Kitty.”

 

Two in One Day

How many of us have fantasized about fucking two different people in one day? Kitty is raising her hand up HIGH!!!

 

Well one of Kitty’s new friends managed to pull off every man and woman’s fantasy. Okay okay…maybe not EVERY man and woman but certainly those who read THIS BLOG. Kitty’s new friend…well let’s just call him “Bill” achieved success. Bill and Kitty have a lot in common as far as what we enjoy sexually in fact we would probably have one hell of a fuck session if he didn’t live so damn far away…oh and ahem…he’s married. But there is nothing wrong with a kitty dreaming is there? So Bill is an avid reader of Kitty’s blog and you all KNOW that makes Kitty wet. Kitty and Bill have been emailing and texting all sorts of naughty things. We exchange stories, fantasies and all sorts of fun pictures. Today though Bill told Kitty a fascinating story. The story made Kitty so wet that I just have to share!

 

So here's how the two-lovers-in-one-day fantasy happened.   It all came about by accident and it was all part of a totally fucked up day. Stick with me here as I try to tell this story in a way that makes sense.

 

One fine August, the family and I had planned a summer vacation trip to Arizona to visit my retired in-laws.  We were all scheduled to fly out on a Thursday but for months leading up to the trip, my warped, deviant mind was trying to think up a way for me to get the family out there first so I could have at least one day at home to myself to fulfill what has always been a fantasy of mine – fuck a lover in my own home in front of the fireplace.  The lover part was easy – being an Ashley Madison power user, I had been seeing Marney for about 3 months and enjoying some seriously hot episodes of no-holds-barred hotel sex.  But you know as well as I, there’s no place like home. Now you’re probably saying to yourself “But Bill – right in your own home?  Isn’t anything sacred anymore?  That’s your wife’s space! Her domain! You’re lower than whale shit.”  Well excuse me, but if she won’t have sex with me anymore, then there ARE NO RULES and everything and everywhere is in play and on the table (including Marney, I hope). 

 

So my evil mind conjured up a way to take advantage of the circumstances and I manufactured a meeting at the office that I just had to be at on the day we were scheduled to leave. “Don’t you worry, sweetheart” I said to my wife – “There’s a flight into Phoenix first thing Friday morning. I’ll be out there the very next morning.” And she bought it hook, line and sinker. So my reservations were changed and now all of a sudden I was staring at a complete day/night alone in the house before I took off to join the family on Friday. Everything was falling neatly into place.

 

So the plan was this - I was going to drop the family off for their 7am flight to Phoenix, then I was going to pick Marney up at a local Target parking lot where she would leave her car, get in mine, and I would drive her to my house and pull in the attached garage to avoid detection by the snoopy neighbors.  

 

So Thursday morning comes and everyone hops in the car. Now all I have to do is get them to the airport and then it’s a full day of Fuck and Frolic. And on the way to the airport I get the text from Marney "I'm in the Target parking lot - ready when you are." It’s all coming off without a hitch. Smooth as creamery butter. So I drop them off at the airport and as I'm walking back to the parking lot I get the text that's going to send this day spiraling into a 50 shades of FUCKED UP!!!

 

It’s Donna.

 

Now who is Donna you might ask?  Ahhhhh Donna.  Donna was my first affair.  The first lover I ever met off Ashley Madison.  We carried on for about a year and then her husband’s job transferred her out of state.  We’d still kept in contact, but rarely.  And you’re probably saying to yourself “OK Bill – Donna was your first.  Now there’s Marney.  Exactly how many mistresses have you had?”  And I can humbly say that number would be 1 short of a dozen.  And now I’m sure there’s even more eye-rolling as you’re reading this and you’re probably cueing up Shania Twain’s ditty in your head -

 

“Okay. So you’re Tiger Woods.  That don’t impress me much.”

 

Back to Donna’s text.  And it’s says “I’m in town today for a conference that doesn’t start until 10.  Do you have time for coffee?”  And before I respond, the wheels start turning in my head.  Damn, I have Marney waiting for me in the Target parking lot, but this is DONNA we’re talking here.  She’s been gone for so long and she never gets to my town.  This is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.  Now Donna has no idea my family has left on vacation, but I’m sure it won’t take much arm-twisting to get her back to my house.  But first I have to deal with Marney.  So I reply to Donna “Hi baby! Great to hear from you.  I’d love to see you. I’ll meet you at the Starbucks on XXXX, but give me 30 minutes.”  And she replies in the affirmative.

 

Now that gives me 30 minutes to stop and see Marney in the Target parking lot and tell her I've totally chickened out and I can't go through with bringing her back to the house as its too sacred and I think my wife suspects something is up and blah-blah-blah all kinds of other bullshit. So Marney is surprisingly good about it and heads out on her way to work. And I get to the Starbuck’s and there's Donna sitting in her car in the parking lot.   I pull up next to her, roll down my window and after our standard hello’s I say “As luck would have it, I happen to have an empty house right now.”  And she sees the twinkle in my eye and she lights up like a Christmas tree!!   You see Donna always had this edge to her – she always wanted to rub my wife’s nose in the fact that she was giving me all the raunchy, dirty sex my wife never did.  And she wanted nothing more than to fuck me in my house right where my wife lives her day-to-day.  So needless to say, Donna was wet before she even hopped in the passenger seat for the ride back to my house.

 

Now we don’t have a whole lot of time since Donna needs to be at the conference before 10, so as soon as the garage door closes shut and we get inside the house we start kissing wildly ... And tongues are tangling and spit is swapped and hands are roaming and cocks are hard and pussies are wet and before you know it, we're both naked on my leather couch.  But before I fuck her, I’ll be damned if I’m not going to eat that pussy.  I don’t give a fuck WHAT TIME the conference starts, but I’m sure as hell not passing up the opportunity to enjoy the finest tasting pussy I’ve ever had the pleasure of eating.  So I dive right in and just like old times, as soon as I get that 2^nd finger inside massaging her G-spot while my tongue continues to work her clit, Donna explodes in orgasm and I have a face full of her delicious juices.  But obviously we’re not done yet. I pull myself up and while I love fucking doggie, this isn’t the time or the place.  I want to kiss Donna passionately with the taste of her own juices still on my lips, and gaze into her eyes as I’m sliding my now rock-hard cock inside her.  So I take her missionary.  Starting out slow and deliberate, but in no time I pick up the pace and I’m pounding the living shit out of her. And it isn't long before Donna’s writhing and moaning in orgasmic bliss and I've exploded my creamy load deep inside her...

 

Fantasy #1 - Fuck a lover in my own family room. On the leather couch. CHECK!!!!!!!!!

 

But little did I know my day had just begun.

 

So after a little post-fuck conversation, we get dressed and get out the door so I can take her back to her car at Starbuck’s so she can be on her way to the conference.  I offered a shower, but she declined as she wanted to carry the scent of our sex around with her all day.  That’s my Donna!  But before she speeds away she wanted to know if I’d like to grab a bite to eat with her after the conference and before she catches the flight home.  All on the company expense account, of course.  And I figured OK, I've already blown it with Marney, I've already fulfilled a fantasy, so I might as well get a free dinner with it.

 

So I spend the rest of my day packing for my trip the next day and then around 5 I head out to meet Donna at a sports bar downtown.  And here's where it gets interesting. While we’re having dinner and drinks, Marney is texting me "You sure we can't do this? I'd really like to see you. I really need a good fucking and I would love your tongue and face all over my cunt. I shaved my pussy and everything this morning”.  So I excuse myself to the men’s room and answer her texts, still playing up the “I really can't do this”, i.e., cold feet response, but I know damn well it won’t be long before my cock takes over my brain and sure enough I finally say "OK, I'll meet you in the Target parking lot at 9pm. See you there." So I make up an excuse for Donna "Yawwwwwwwwnnnnn baby  ... I'm really tired and I have a 7am flight (I really did!!).  I better get home and get some shut eye ..." And we part ways.

 

So I get to the Target lot by 9pm, pick Marney up, and it’s off to my house. And we pick up a couple bottles of wine, and before long all the lights in the house are out, the fireplace is roaring, and we're totally naked on that same leather couch where I just fucked Donna about 12 hours prior. And I have 70s classic rock blasting from the stereo as I've always wanted to get drunk, get naked and fuck to ELO. Don't ask me why!!! But there we were on the family room floor, a dark house, and I'm fucking her doggie to ELO's "You gotta Slowwww Down, Sweet Talkin' Woman .. You got me runnin' .. you got me searchin....." And I'm thrusting to the beat of the music and I have my glass of Pinot Grigot resting on her back as I'm fucking her. OK, it would be much manlier if I had a bottle of Guinness Stout balanced on her ass, but no -- it was a sissy glass of wine.

 

Fantasy #2 - Fuck two women who aren't my wife in one day. CHECK!!!!!!

 

So around midnight, I decide I better cum and get her out of the house as I do have to get up at 4:30am for the 7am flight. So I blow my load, then start getting anxious, almost pushing her out the door. Yeah I know -- I'm an asshole!! And she's getting dressed, collecting her shit and we do one last check to make sure she didn't leave anything behind, and I take her back to the parking lot and she'd be on her way home to hubby.

 

Wrong.

 

I get back home, climb in bed and my cell phone rings. Its 1am. It’s Marney. "I left my cell phone at your house". Oh yeah, then how are you calling me?? Well she says she's calling me on her personal cell, it’s the work cell she left in my house and she HAS to have it. So I tell her I'll look around and then bring it up to her in the parking lot. Well I look high and low and I can't find it anywhere. Not in the family room. Not in the bathroom. Not in the garage.  Nowhere. So I call and tell her that. But she won't take no for an answer. And by now she's hammered and crying because she'll get fired if she doesn't have that phone. And her husband by now I'm sure is wondering where the fuck she is. So I look again. And again. But nothing. And she keeps calling. And I hang up. And she calls again. And I yell at her I DON'T HAVE YOUR FUCKING PHONE!!! GO HOME!!!!! By this time it’s after 2am. Finally she gives up calling, and I get about 2 hours sleep.

 

So I get up at 4:30am, shower and start making my way to the airport. But first I take a swing by the Target  and SHE'S STILL THERE IN THE PARKING LOT AT 5:30AM!!!!!!! But hell no, I'm not stopping!!! I buzz right past her and think to myself "fuck her, if I stop she'll never let me get out of here". So I get to the airport and before too long I'm bound for Phoenix with a layover in Baltimore. And as I'm sitting there at the gate at BWI, I get a text. Its Marney. "I found my phone. It was wedged under the passenger seat.  And by the way, that was the hottest sex I’ve ever had in my fucking life!”

 

Yeah, me too.  Twice!!!

 

 

 

Both Sides of the Fence

For the most part Angry Guy and Kitty get along nicely. We chat on the phone like old friends. We attend school functions together and make fun of the other parents and administration. But since this whole family issue I have cut Angry Guy off from my friendship. He is playing both sides of the fence and Kitty doesn’t like that. BE A MAN!! STAND UP FOR WHAT YOU BELIEVE IN!!! And for God’s sake…DON’T LIE!!! Kitty HATES a liar.

Now Kitty knows that cheating counts as “lying” so…yes…Kitty is a hypocrite…on some level. But for the most part Kitty doesn’t lie. In fact the only person that Kitty DID lie to was Angry Guy.

When we were together he was convinced that Kitty was cheating. He made no effort to catch me though. And to this day Kitty never told him…and Kitty never will.

Angry Guy was SO suspicious even before Kitty strayed that HE was suspicious. Do you know how people who lie or cheat immediately lose trust for those around them? Well that’s how Angry Guy acted only Kitty knew he wasn’t cheating. Let’s face it; Angry Guy was never as sexual as Kitty. Kitty always wanted sex more than he did even when we were dating which should have been a sign. Kitty wanted to suck cock. Kitty wanted to be fucked from behind like a dirty little slut. But Angry Guy put Kitty up on a pedestal. At first it was an honor but then Kitty realized it was just Angry Guy’s way of avoiding fucking Kitty…his wife. So Kitty strayed. Anyway, you all know that story.

So this week with all the family shit that is going on and Angry Guy swearing left and right that he is on my side but refusing to say it to anybody but Kitty, it dawned on Kitty.

Angry Guy is one of those guys who tells whoever in front of him what he thinks they want to hear whether it’s the truth or not. Then he will tell the opposing person what THEY want to hear even if it is the exact opposite. Angry Guy is a PUSSY and he is WISHY WASHY. Kitty hates wishy washy men.

And so, I think I’ve had an epiphany. Kitty thinks that the reason Angry Guy was always convinced that Kitty was lying to him, even before I was, is because HE is not true to his word…EVER…well for the most part.

Lying takes on many forms but as I told a friend of mine, Kitty has no regrets and when I take a side I tell people. Maybe that’s why Kitty is always in so much trouble.

Lube Me Up Buttercup

Last night Kitty was so so restless. Kitty has been so stressed lately with this family stuff plus we spent the day eating junk food and laying about so I expect that didn’t help matters. By 11:30 Kitty was still wide awake. Kitty needed a release. So I sent the kids to bed (don’t forget they are on summer break!) and took another shot at surfing some porn on my Kindle. This time Kitty was smart. I kept the lights on and looked for a site that Bad Boy had recommended. I forgot the name exactly but Googled “porn” and it came right up…pardon the pun.

I wasn’t sure what I was craving so I clicked on a shot of an older man and a young girl. Kitty is not much into child porn and yes, this is how I got into trouble last week with the “she-man” porn. The man in the video was not appealing to Kitty at all. He was again…too fem. His skin was flawless which seems odd to me. The young girl was pretty but had bad teeth. Also a turn off for Kitty. She began sucking the old guy’s cock…not bad. She stood up and although shaven and looking like a pre-pubescent little girl, she had a pussy and not a cock so we were still good. Kitty fast forwarded a bit and looked at the young girl’s technique. Kitty is not above learning new tricks from younger chicks. She had great hand movement. Kitty needs to learn that. But HEY NOW…WHAT’S THIS?!!? The old guy had an enormous HARD-ON!!! NOW WE ARE TALKIN’!!!!

Hard on’s are what make Kitty wet. So Kitty turned off the lights and grabbed for my trusty silver bullet. It felt good but Kitty just couldn’t get there. Kitty needed….SOMETHING. I remembered that I still had a small sample of lube in my bedside table. What the hell was I saving it for? There are no prospective play dates coming to my bedroom anytime soon.

Kitty managed to twist the top off the sample packet and squeeze its contents in the direction of my thirsty pussy. Kitty felt nothing initially but I knew it was there so I turned on the old silver bullet and slowly moved in that direction. The moment that the metal hit that lube Kitty’s body began to sing. THAT’S THE TICKET! Kitty pictured the old guy’s rock hard cock and that along with the cold wet sensation on my clit made Kitty cum. Ahhh sweet release.

Kitty lay awake a few moments remembering a time with Biker Dude 2. He kept telling me to spit on his cock. Kitty for whatever reason could not muster up enough saliva to satisfy his needs. I remembered him grabbing his lube and working it on his cock a little bit. And then as Kitty drifted into slumber, I made a mental note to pick some lube up next time I am at the market.

Kitty's Fucked Up Family

Kitty’s childhood growing up was like a fantasy. I had a mother and father and older sisters who fawned over me. We were close. We joked that we were like the family in “The Godfather”. Each of us had the character that we were associated with. I am Michael of course. If you were not born/raised on and did not BREATHE “The Godfather” then read no further. You have no business being on my blog. If nothing else my Ex husbands enjoyed the healthy addiction that I had with the first and second movies and we all agree that anybody who does not share that addiction has serious character issues. LOL

All joking aside, my family was extremely close. My father (Vito) instilled a sense of undying loyalty in each of us. At the same time he taught us but especially me about independence. He taught me never to depend on a man to support me financially. He made sure I was educated in a career that would enable me to support myself if “god forbid you don’t get married.” Yes, there were some mixed messages there but I understood what my father was trying to achieve. He also taught me that if I needed something done, I needed to be able to do it myself. He taught me that I can’t depend on others to lift me up even though he always seemed to lift me up.

After my father passed away and I was getting divorced for the SECOND time…yes…SECOND…my mother told me that my father raised me to be “TOO independent” and “Intolerant”. This may be true.  She also said, “you are going to die alone.” To which my smart ass reply was, “So? We are ALL going to die alone! Look at you! You were married for 54 years and YOU are going to die alone!” Needless to say, I didn’t gain any brownie points for that remark.

Since my father passed away my family has literally fallen apart. It’s kind of like a computer virus that slowly but deliberately eats away at your computer system until there is nothing left. Is Kitty to blame for the fallout? I’m sure I have something to do with it but do I deserve to shoulder the entire blame? I don’t think so.

Recently I have made a few new fellow blogger friends. We communicate via email so they have a bit of an inside track on Kitty’s real life which ironically is my “Secret Life” as far as all of you all are concerned. Some of them know my name, exactly where I live, my profession and all about my kids. It’s the not so sexy side of Kitty. As I make more and more friends and meet more and more people who bring positive energy to my life, the negativity of my family and the negative people who I share blood with are drifting away. On one level this makes me sad. I have lost my mother…siblings…even one of my children.

This morning on my way to work I have to admit that I wondered if their world would be a better place without me. I wondered if I should get my affairs in order and maybe do the unthinkable. Will Kitty? Probably not. Kitty is not into all that drama. I’m not sure what would become of my younger kids and my poor pets would suffer most of all. Okay…yes, I worry more about the future of my pets than my own children. Maybe Ex #1 is right. Maybe Kitty is a complete failure as a mother, certainly as a wife. I have to say I’m pretty good at my job though.

I was telling one of my new blogger friends that I was thinking about Angry Guy this morning. Angry Guy insists he is on my side with this whole family rift yet he continues to communicate with my estranged child…his stepchild who is now about to sue me. Kitty feels that this shows lack of loyalty and basically is a divide and conquer situation for my estranged kid. I tried to explain it to Angry Guy but he is playing dumb. He considers himself the “peace maker”. Kitty considers him a pussy. When Kitty is on someone’s side I fight for that person and am not afraid to stand up for them. Kitty is surrounded by a bunch of people who say they are on my side but don’t have the balls to admit it to anybody else. That is SOOOOO FREDO (another “Godfather” reference).

So as Kitty thinks about Angry Guy and him telling me he is loyal and dedicated to me I laugh to myself at how DISLOYAL I find him. And it’s days like today when I think back at all the strange men I met in hotel rooms to fuck while I was married to Angry Guy and I think I don’t regret it for one second.

 

Tight Ass Friends

Oh friends how I wish I had something sexy to write about. Not today. I will say that I DO have a crush on someone but dating in the single vanilla world is a hell of a lot slower than fucking online. Anyway, since Kitty is lacking sex, I am craving it more and more. The other day I was surfing porn. It was late late at night and I was using my kindle since I was up in bed. The pictures were small so I just clicked on a shot of what looked like a guy and a woman. I began watching the couple. The guy looked a little fem for me but I continued and fast forwarded it a little. Suddenly I noticed something. The chick that began the video on her stomach had rolled over and the guy was sucking her cock!!! WTF?!?!?!?! OMG! OMG! OMG! Kitty had to rewind a little bit before I realized that the chick in the porn video was a “She-man”. Sorry but this is NOT a turn on for Kitty. I can’t explain why. The worst part is that every other video I clicked on was a “She-Man” porn. Somehow I had clicked my way into an exclusively “She-Man” site. And so I turned my Kindle off and vowed never to surf porn again.

So now Kitty is left to live vicariously through the stories of others. My male friends are super. Most of them divulge details upon request. My female friends not so much. I was prompted to write this blog post after a chat conversation with one of my female friends. I was trying to explain to her that I wanted some info on this guy that I have a crush on. Let’s call him Knightrider since he has this super duper Ford 150 that lights up like just like Knightrider.

I was explaining to my tight ass friend that another one of my friends let it spill that she had slept with Knightrider years ago when they had dated for a very short period of time. But that was it. She wouldn’t divulge any more information. Is it me or is that JUST WRONG!!!

So my tight ass girlfriend did not see my point at all and in fact finds it in poor taste that I even ask. WTF?! I mean if I want to fuck the guy and I have the inside track, I sure as hell want to know whatever I can ahead of time. Like can he still get hard? Is he good at giving oral?

I made the mistake of asking my tight ass girlfriend, “Don’t you find that information interesting even about your male friends?”

To which my tight ass girlfriend’s response was, “No lol. I’m not really interested in the details of any of my friend’s sex lives. “

Kitty needs some new friends L