More and
more of our acquaintances are finding out about Angry Guy and me splitting up.
Believe it or not HE is the one telling them. I can only imagine what his
warped side of the story is. Actually I already know what it is. So I posted my
own semi private announcement on my vanilla blog not too long ago. It’s funny
because one of my male friends commented “I am sad but not surprised.” I hear
that a lot. Angry Guy doesn’t believe it. I must have given an Academy award
winning performance because Angry Guy still claims he is completely shocked. It’s
funny to me how when we fight he brings up shit to hold over my head from YEARS
ago but suddenly he doesn’t remember that I was so distraught this past fall
that I sought out therapy. He has also conveniently forgotten that we have the
same nasty, dirty, ugly argument every 6 months to a year and I am just tired
of it.
The important
thing and what I want to write about is “Support”. How men and women who end
long term relationships are treated by their friends, their families and the
general public. Having gone through this before I am not surprised when my siblings
roll down their shades, so to speak, and lock their doors. I’m not sure…do they
think I am going to ask them for MONEY?!?!? I never have before so why the hell
would I start now?
My married
female friends start out being supportive then slowly distance themselves from
me. Is it because I have touched upon something that they all wish they have to
courage to do? Some of them for sure have rocky relationships. Hey, I’ll admit,
this whole thing is scary. Everybody is in my ear about being able to afford
the whole thing financially.
So are they
saying I should stay in a bad marriage for the money??? Call me crazy. Call me
selfish but there is no way in hell that I am going to do this for another
what? 5…10…20 years?!?!?!
In the
meantime things here are hectic. Angry Guy has found a place to stay not too
far away. The kids are fine…or will be once he goes. In the meantime we are
strong. We are healthy and we are free.
7 comments:
Hang in there, Kitty.
Sometimes people feel like they have to "choose sides"... remain friends with the husband or the wife, but not both... and they don't want to hurt anyone's feelings so they just withdraw completely. And of course they wind up just hurting everybody.
But even if you lose some friends, it sounds like Hammer is worth it. If no one else stands by you, at least you can hang onto him!
Thanks Tom. Yes, Hammer is a very special friend ;)
You know I was just thinking today one of the hard things is what do you do on Facebook. We put ourselves out there so much that when you want seclusion you can't get it. Wish I never selected the married option in the relationship tab.
It's so funny that you mention that. I never had my marital status listed on my facebook page. I was considering changing it to single for several reasons once my divorce is final but Angry Guy is one of my "friends" and I am sure he would think it is in poor taste. Having said that I always get such a kick out of how my facebook friends run to the computer and change their marital status as though it's the first thing on their mind. I haven't decided what to do about that yet...
Awesome post, its given me pause and something to think about.
Ur doing just fine Baby... :)
Me
Get out, I've stayed for the kids, and that has been good but would not reccomend it . Life is short and your kids will enjoy seeing you happy in a healthy relationship one day. Just smile at all the people not supporting you, knowing you have dropped the hammer on a bad marriage, and your moving on
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