Metamorphosis

I know you are all wondering what will become of my blog now that I am going to be “Single Kitty”. Really, don’t you people have anything else to worry about?!?!! Just kidding. I really DO appreciate all the friends I have made over the past year of writing this blog. And in all honesty I have been wondering where to take the blog as well.

Here’s the thing…I think deep down I will always ALWAYS be Naughty Kitty. And this will ALWAYS be a secret part of my life. Let’s face it, just because I am going to be single doesn’t mean I want all my family and friends to know what I have been up to.

So if it is alright with all of you, I would like to continue writing my blog. Oh, my posts may be more sporadic. My posts may not be as spicy or naughty for a while. But something tells me that this new life that I will be leading will be full of exciting, funny and hopefully sexy things to share so bear with me. Kitty is here to stay!

One For the Road

The other night I lay in bed and in the middle of the night Angry Guy began to rub my back. This is his way of signaling that he wants sex. I couldn’t believe it! What the fuck…NOW YOU WANT SEX?!?!?!

I pulled away. It was the first time in nearly 20 years that I refused him. I know you are saying “why the hell are you still sleeping in the same bed?” Well, besides the fact that we have a small house with no extra beds or bedrooms, I figured we’ve slept together in the same bed for YEARS managing to avoid the temptation so why should things be any different now?

Last night was a different story. Angry Guy was in a relatively good mood except for the fact that he had a shitty day at work. For whatever reason I couldn’t sleep. Hammer and I were texting back and forth which is a rarity at night for us. Hammer of course managed to text something which got my juices flowing. Angry Guy came up to bed, we turned off the lights and again he began to rub my back. We had the typical conversation where I said “what are you doing?”

Angry Guy said “does this feel good?” I let him continue to rub my back for a few moments adding in here and there “this is NOT going to happen.”

He moved his hands down to my legs. It didn’t really affect me. I had lost that spark, that feeling that I used to get when he touches me. Then he said “feel this”. I refused knowing that he had begun to get hard. Finally he said again with emotion “FEEL THIS”.

I whispered, “this isn’t going to change anything.”

He whispered back, “I know. I’ll still move out. Feel this.” I reached around and sure enough his cock was harder than I ever remember. I had to admit that I was impressed. “suck my cock,” he said. I just want you to suck my cock.

It was at that point when I thought to myself, “what the hell?”

I moved down and began to suck his small but erect cock. He began to moan immediately. This was as turned on as I ever remember him being. I was somewhat turned on as well. His hands were grasping for me and he wasn’t sure what to do exactly. I thought “God, we’ve been together for almost 20 years and you still don’t know what I like.” I thought how impatient I have become and how I no longer have the patience to direct him when I have been with men over the past few months, specifically Hammer who know EXACTLY how to touch me, how to lick me and how to fuck me.

Within a few minutes he rolled me off of him and onto my back. I threw my legs over his shoulders and he began pumping away. Yes, I’ll admit, it felt good but it was quick and it was mechanical. I wasn’t trying to be cold I just simply wasn’t engaged, for the first time that I can remember.

After he came he began to move down. “I want to lick your pussy,” he said. The moment his tongue touched my clit I knew that this wasn’t going to work and I was too impatient after so many years to begin to instruct him. A few seconds in I said, “it’s okay, don’t worry about it.”

He didn’t seem disappointed. As we lay there we joked a little bit about how on earth I will ever be able to afford to buy him out of the house and I jokingly asked if I could pay him off with an occasional blow job. He laughed and asked me if I would come visit him at his apartment when he moves out. I asked if the idea of having an affair was a turn on and he admitted that it was.

We talked a little bit about how he had a shitty day at work. He said his boss yelled at him then apologized later. Angry Guy told me it is a management technique that his boss uses. He breaks people down then rebuilds the relationship later. Angry Guy and I both had to laugh because Angry Guy has admittedly taken on this philosophy at home. I told Angry Guy to tell his boss that his “soon to be ex wife thinks his technique SUCKS.” Angry Guy laughed and agreed.

This morning we moved about the house just as we always do. Angry Guy has a few appointments with realtors and I am working on refinancing our home.

Even though the sex for me was not good, the idea that soon I will have the freedom to be with whomever I want empowered me. If maintaining a sexual relationship will make Angry Guy feel better about our situation then I am fine with that. We both realize that even if we were to continue to have sex with one another it would be on occasion. No, we will not be one of those couples that gets divorced then realize what we are missing and re marry but I see nothing wrong with comforting a special friend on occasion and for now that’s what I intend to do.

Today Kitty is hoping I can have my cake and eat it too.

Single Kitty

I wonder sometimes if I sabotaged my marriage to get away from prowling. I mean let’s face it I wasn’t very good at it…or maybe I was TOO good. I finally found that special someone but then things at home became intolerable. I listened to my gut and things are starting to come together now.

Angry Guy has come to terms with things. He even made a comment about falling out of love with me long ago. He may have just said it to hurt me but I suspected this for years. Either way I am good with it. I don’t want to hurt him but this is all for the best.

Kitty is CLEARLY not cut out to be married and I have assured all of my friends and family that the third time is NOT a charm for me. I have decided to change my name back to my maiden name once again. My maiden name is rather ethnic and in all honesty it’s not just a name, it is an attitude and it reminds me of my father who I miss terribly.

Angry Guy and I began meeting with the mediator this week. She said if we did our homework we could be divorced by the end of the year. This is a lot faster than I expected but I am beginning to embrace it. What a nice way to start off the New Year. Oh I am sure the holidays may be rough but as long as Angry Guy behaves himself I have invited him for family time for the holidays and here and there during the week. Kitty wants her fun time as well. Angry Guy is not too keen on having our kids sleep at his new place but Kitty is going to INSIST. WTF?!!?! Is it me or is he always trying to control me???

He asked me to respect him by not dating officially or “taking a lover” until after he leaves the house. Since the kids are out of school, Hammer is busy and I have a future of freedom to look forward to I have agreed.

There is a lot to do to find a place for Angry Guy and to help him get on his feet. It’s worth it to me because in the end I will happily be “Single Kitty”.

A Story By The Hammer

Long before Hammer and I hooked up we became cyber buddies. He began writing a story for me. I saved it and have just now had the opportunity to read it, edit it and post it. So enjoy! This is from my VERY special friend Hammer…

The meeting was at a diner for coffee. I waited for her to arrive, thinking of all the possibilities of what could happen but staying true to my ways. She walked in, I knew it was her. She looked just like her picture. I cocked my head, raised an eyebrow and smiled. She returned the favor with a smile. She threw her head back to show off her hair and took a step towards me. I rose to greet her. I wait as she stopped. I looked at her from her lips into her eyes and said “Hello”; anticipating what her voice would sound like and to finally put my mind at ease.

She sat. I sat next to her to make her feel nervous and a little off balance. I ask "Coffee?" "Yes", I sign to the waitress, she brings it over and smiles, then asks if we would like some menus knowing we are not here to eat. We exchange minor talk feeling and establishing our ground. All the time I am looking at her lips and eyes making sure she notices my interest and lust for her. I look for the signs and wait then I lean over with my face, rub her face ever so gently with mine just in front of her ear and give her a little peck on the neck and make sure she hears me inhale and moan all in the moment. My hand moves to her thigh and up a few inches. Her reaction changes, she moves her hand to mine as to stop it from going any further, but I know it's just to freeze the moment like a snap shot in time and register it in her mind forever. I lean back and whisper, “shall we leave and get a room?” As I brush up again face to face, she replies "Yes".

We walk up to the hotel room together hand in hand, I release and place my arm around her, and she returns the move. At the door we release and go in, adjusting the light. We size up the room. I walk to her and stare at her beauty and make sure she sees me doing it. I look her over like a brand new trophy. I step up to her lean over, put my hands on her sides cock my head, gaze into her eyes and kiss her gently on the lips never closing my eyes, pulling her close to my body. Her arms raise and her hands land on my shoulders and pull me in too as we become tight, breast to breast and we can feel each other’s hearts beat. As our breathing gets harder, we never lose site of the first kiss.

At the end of the first kiss we pull away, I turn her around, she is hesitant at first not sure of what I'm doing. Standing behind her, I brush her hair away from one side of her face. I lean over left hand to her left side, my right hand moves in across her stomach, my face is rubbing the side of her face and I moan. My hand moves up the front of her stiff body to her face and I slowly turn her head to my awaiting lips and kiss her holding her that way resisting her from turning around, she gives in and goes for the kiss. I pull her in tight, hold on and with my left hand start feeling her body moving down her side to her upper thigh then over to her pussy but not too close then up her stomach and over and across just under her tits lifting them up just a little and cupping her right breast, running my thumb up over her nipple and stopping there. The entire time we are kissing.

Her knees begin to soften but she knows I am supporting her. She backs into me slightly and rubs her ass up into my hard cock to reply; I release my hold of her face and breast, moving my hands to her hips and welcome the gesture by pulling her tight into my rock hard rod moaning. She tries to get away and turn, but I pull her back because this is what I like. I grab her face again turn it more and thrust my tongue deep into her mouth and hold her there, she tries to grab my cock. I break away and say softly, "I like to be touched not grabbed". She knows what that means, I go back to kissing her and she slowly moves her way to my hard cock just touching it and playing with it outside my pants. I moan and move to her hard nipples and play with them.

 I can’t take anymore and release her and turn her face to face.

I look at her, she looks back at me. I move my hands to unbutton her top and with both hands peel open her shirt to expose a sexy bra with lace that holds her breasts. I don’t take it off yet; I just gaze and move to unzip her skirt letting it fall to the floor. She steps out of it as well as her shoes lowering herself by 3 inches. I kick off my shoes and loose half inch, story of my life.... Where was I? She is wearing a lacey G string. I can feel my cock is spewing a little pre-cum and it feels good. I run my hands over her smooth silky skin lean over and kiss her neck as she starts to unbutton my shirt and feels my warm body with her hands.  She covers my chest with small kisses, and then works down to my pants first reaching for my hard cock and holding it as the other hand works effortlessly to undo my zipper. Both hands move into my undone pants and around my ass helping my pants drop to the floor. As I try stepping out she pulls me in close so her body is up against mine and my cock can feel the warmth of her sweet skin. Her hands move in to release my shorts from the boundary of fabric to pure skin on her as she slowly works them down my legs to my feet.

When her face reaches my hard cock zone she brushes the side of her face up against my cock and moans as she licks my clean shaven sack and opens her mouth wide to take it in as I step out of my shorts and run my fingers through her hair. Pulling her head with agreement deep into my balls as I look down on her and her up at me. Her hands return to my butt, my cock on one side of her face, my balls filling her mouth and I quiver and grunt as she sucks gently and tightens her mouth around my jewels and jerks her head back and forth making me harder and harder.

Finally I have enough and pull her off me stand her up "You’re fucking killing me." I thrust my tongue into her mouth grab her face and kiss her hard.

We break away I grab a drink to cool down, she take a drink to, I look to her and tell her to get naked. I move to a chair by the window that lets just enough light in , she moves in front of me. I don't help her. I need to watch her get into her sexy moment and strip for me. She starts turned away from me she unhooks her bra, turns again and slowly lets the garment fall from her hard pointed nipples to expose all the excitement within her. I watch as it falls to the floor and her nipples are rock hard. She moves to hold them both. She leans forward to show her cleavage. I sit watching with my cock in my hand ever so slightly stroking it. She can see the head is a little wet and she stands and moves her hands to her G string and removes it. She spreads her legs exposing her baby like wet pussy to me. I stare at it in all its glory. She knows how to tease me now and runs her hands in between and spreads her lips to expose her clit and touches herself and asks quietly, “You like?”

With that she rises and moves to me. Lifting one leg to the chair armrest, she grabs my head, leans back a little and says, “Smell my pussy, but don't lick it.”  My balls are tight against my crotch as I handle her ass and smell her sweet pussy; I do as she says and let my nose rub her clit like a little boy cheating so it gets all wet. She pushes my head away.

She turns to the little table lifts a knee onto it, turns her head to me and commands, “now come here and eat me and make it all wet.”

 I can’t help but think she had a plan all along, so I move in grabbing her ass. I spread her cheeks apart so I can work on pleasing her. I started at the clit, just flicking it and working around it and moved to her love canal darting my tongue as deep as it can go, all the while paying attention to her every move and moan. I insert my finger to play inside and lick more pussy; she explodes with delight her legs shaking screaming "I'm Cumming....Now I'm ready for some cock."

She stands and takes me by the hand. We walk over to the bed. She grabs the sheets and throws them off of the bed. She climbs on, I follow and position myself "T-bone" to her and on all 4's down low, to keep her at bay. At this point I'm face to face over her, her arms and hands on my blades and mine around and under her. I start by kissing her face and brushing mine up against hers. I can hear her as She whispers "Fuck Me Now"; my reply is a short "No", "No!!!! Fuck Me", I move my lips to hers and start kissing her, no tongue just a long hard lip kiss with just the right amount of mouth open to lock onto one lip and touch it with my tongue, at this point I'm mostly lost in the desire to kiss and have no idea what she doing or what is going on around me, but I know I'm enjoying it. Then I remember to move my hands, just the right hand around to her breast. She gasps for a deep breath and I notice and massage her as I too breathe deep and sigh. I get more and more into the kiss, sliding my hand down to her hip and thigh, I pull her leg up run my hand down further over the knee and down to her ankle and back up the inside of her leg to the upper most part of her inner thigh stopping just short of her swollen pussy. She sighs again and I know she was hoping I didn't stop there. I palm her inner most thigh letting my pinky finger just touch her swollen lips. I close my hand tight around her thigh and moved in circular motion as if to pull on her pussy and rub it at the same time. Her lips are locked on mine, hands and arms still around me on my blades, breathing hard, and waiting for the next move. I let go, move my hand over her whole pussy and gently squeezed her whole love canal. She reclines and moans.  I open my eyes to see her staring at me, I smile and pull away chuckling as she does.

"Are you ready?" she asks. I am, so I mount her, but only let the head of my cock touch the envelopes of her swollen lips; she reaches down and grabs my ass to shove that long awaiting hard-on inside of her. Only the head gets to massage her clit for now. She tells me, "Stick it in".

I reply "No" "Again with the No, Just Fuck Me" "MMmmmmmmmm NO", "feels just right". I go on massaging her clit until I'm just ready to penetrate her pussy, at first I put just enough head in and she responds with upward thrusts to get more, but I hold back until I can’t take it anymore and thrust my hard hot cock as deep into her as possible, I shake and she knows it. I whisper to her "your pussy is so fucking hot and wet. Feels good don't it Baby?"

 she replies, “mmmmmmm yes". I lower my hands down to her knees and pull them up so my cock is as deep as it can get. We buck like two horses getting it on until she start telling me she is going to cum.

Disclaimer:

The short story you just read is Fictional and does not depict anyone person or encounter.

No animals were harmed during this write in any way, shape, or form. All rights reserved.

Consult your Doctor before trying any of this to make sure your heart is in good condition.

Never Let Them Smell Fear

If I’ve said it once I have said it a million times…my parents raised me to be strong and independent. Okay so now you can add stubborn and perhaps pig-headed to the list. That is one of Angry Guy’s main complaints is that once I get an idea in my head there is no changing my mind about it. I’ll admit that these ideas don’t always work out for me.

I’ll admit that I am taking a huge risk by divorcing Angry Guy. I’ll admit that I am scared as hell. Angry Guy says I am cold and heartless. My friends say I am matter of fact and nonchalant. I say I am trying to remain calm and positive because deep down I am petrified. I don’t mind being alone. I don’t mind working to support a family but God forbid Big Cheese drops dead or Angry Guy. God forbid I am in an accident and can no longer work. God forbid. I think about these things constantly. If any of those things were to happen, this unilateral decision that I have made would literally destroy a family.

My family, friends and Angry Guy are hell bent on saying things like “you’ll never manage to do it alone. You can’t afford it. What about the kids?”

I can’t help but think to myself “WOW, I never thought about that.” WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?!

The difference between me and someone weaker like Angry Guy is that I can make a home anywhere. A house is just a house. A couch, a television…they can all be replaced over time. Angry Guy has chosen to think of his future as over. He has already given up. He just doesn’t get it. He doesn’t get ME.

A Funny Thing About Divorce/Separation

The funny thing about all that’s been going on around here is that my sex drive is nearly nonexistent. Oh listen…I WILL come back. Something tells me I can muster up a little something for Hammer if he is up for it but in the meantime I have no desire to see who is on Ashley Madison, no desire to fuck XXX and quite honestly, no desire to masturbate. I KNOW!!! RIGHT?!?!?!

Oh the other night I was all wound up. I needed to relax. I thought I could do it. I pulled out my favorite little toy and closed my eyes. I thought of Hammer of course. Damn he feels good inside of me. I tried to remember that. I tried to remember how he feels on top of me. I tried to remember how I feel when I am on top of him and more importantly I tried to remember how he feels from behind. Damn I miss Hammer from behind.

I just could not get there. I think once things subside I will be able to get back in the saddle…or back on Hammer…hopefully.

If not…the irony would not be lost on me.

The Perfect Divorce

I just received an email from Angry Guy. It was a nice email. The nicest email I think he has EVER sent me. He said he was having a rough time at work. His boss called him into the office and asked “WTF”. Angry Guy told him what has been going on and his boss happens to be going through something similar. Honestly it’s part of the industry they work in. It’s an awful industry to try and raise a traditional family in. Since both Angry Guy and I come from traditional families we have been managing to fit the square peg in the round hole…I have been managing.

Angry Guy finally gets it, I think. He said he forgot about me and my needs. He asked me to forgive him and to remain in his life. He said he will always love me and will miss me and that he holds no bitterness.  He said I am a great person and a great mother.

I cried as I read it not because I am sad but because I am happy. Is there a possibility that we can do this? Is there a possibility that Angry Guy and I can separate our belongings, our money and our homes and remain friends? Is it possible to spend holidays together with the kids and not have things be awkward or bitter?

Am I naive to want this? Am I crazy for thinking we just may be able to find it within ourselves to respect each other the way we did when we first got married? Am I ridiculous for wanting the perfect divorce?

Momma Says

When I told my mother about what was going on with Angry Guy she said “that’s marriage’. WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?!

I had to remind her that she and my father both raised me to be a strong, independent woman. They raised me not to take any shit from ANYBODY. So I ask again WHAT THE FUCK?!?!

Sure, I am the first one to admit that I am spoiled, selfish and now according to Angry Guy “cold” but under no circumstances do I deserve to be treated like a doormat.

My friends insist I am not selfish for wanting happiness. There are no guarantees that this decision will bring me happiness and certainly Angry Guy is not happy what so ever.

He is depressed. He is Sad Guy now. I feel horribly guilty for bringing him such sadness. I am trying with all my might to explain to him why we need to split up. He says this is coming out of left field. I must be some sort of an Academy award winning actress…or maybe he was just so caught up in living the wonderful life that he was living that he didn’t notice me. Or MAYBE he was pretending…

Regardless, now that the truth is out Kitty is fighting like hell for my freedom. Financially it’s going to be a burden but it’s worth it.

I don’t expect support although at the end of every conversation we have XXX says “I’m on your side. I’m your friend and no matter what…I’m on your side.” That’s saying something because if you compare me and Angry Guy to XXX and his cunt wife…um…I would most definitely be the cunt.

Amazingly, our kids are fine. They seem to understand. They heard the argument the other day. They heard Angry Guy back me into a corner and say “So? What do you wanna do???” I was just being honest. Even though it hurt him, I’m glad I was.

So this is marriage? I think I’ll pass.

Lottery Ticket

I bought a lottery ticket this morning. Don’t ask me why. I suppose I am hoping my luck is changing although deep down I don’t really believe in luck as much as I believe in karma. Damn I am about to get hit with a big bad karma SHIT STORM!

I know that what I am doing here is completely selfish and wrong for everybody but me. I know because everybody tells me…Angry Guy, my family. The funny thing is that the people who know me the best are all saying the same thing “I am sad but not surprised.”

Angry Guy is completely caught off guard. There are moments when I think I am going insane because I THINK I have made my feelings abundantly clear to him and he will say something like “This is coming out of left field.”

But then last night for instance one of my friends said “I have known you were unhappy in your marriage since 2009.” So maybe I am not going crazy.

I realize I have no support in my decision. I’ve gone through this before. I learned that people get scared. I don’t know what it is but nobody wants to be a part of divorce. They immediately assume you want them to take your side.

Things don’t look good for my side. As Angry Guy says “It’s not like I hit you or anything.” So…I should stay based on that?!?!?!

Damn, that’s just another example of the fact that he hasn’t been paying very close attention. He should know that I am a hell of a lot more demanding than to settle for a guy whose best quality is that he doesn’t beat me.

I have to say that things have changed a lot since my first divorce. Although I know what’s ahead its still hard. I am the bad guy here. There is no question. As Angry Guy said, “you are a MONSTER! You are breaking up a family for no good reason.”

I apologize for my blog being so dismal lately. I promise things will change. Some of my friends have already told me that I look amazing, meaning that I no longer look like I have been verbally beaten before I even leave the house. I am going to the gym and eating right.  I even lost some weight this week. The kids and I have managed to eat relatively and I steered clear of desserts at night.

I see some happiness at the end of this journey. I feel an enormous amount of guilt for what I have done to go out and get it though.

Who knows, maybe that lottery ticket is a sign. Stranger things have happened.

Free To Be

Tonight I sit here writing in full view. Angry Guy has treated himself to a night or two at a hotel. Really he should have checked with me. I have a better idea of where the best rates are. Too soon??? Believe me I am not taking this lightly but I have to say that Angry guy has been so awful the past few days that the house is much more relaxed tonight. Oh, the kids are sad but Kitty has been talking to them and being as comforting as I can be. This is not the first time Kitty has been through this so I know the right way and the wrong way to talk to the kids. Oh Kitty knows not to say anything negative about Angry Guy …and I won’t. Before he left Angry Guy told the kids to call his cell to talk to him. I of course told them to feel free. The thing is that he works so much they are used to him not being around.

I don’t want the kids to be in pain. I don’t want them to suffer for my selfish acts. I will continue to take the high road even if he doesn’t. I will let him have the furniture he wants, whatever he may want from the house. I even told him he could take the house if he can afford it. I think that’s what makes him so angry. He knows I can do it without him and yet he can’t manage the house without me. The next few weeks and months are going to be tough. I know that. I am not taking any of this lightly. But I have to say it feels nice to finally be set free.

The Big Fight

Angry Guy and I had a big fight last night. It was his day off and I was at work all day. When I got home he made some nasty comment about one of my family members and we were “off to the races”! Now I’ll admit, I don’t always get along with my family members but we have always had an unwritten agreement that family is family and spouses when it comes to certain things are “outsiders”. In light of Angry Guy’s attitude lately he is definitely more of an outsider and I told him that.

The thing with Angry Guy is that even though we very rarely argue I can’t get it through to him that one of the main reasons is because Kitty let’s A LOT of things slide by. Believe me you don’t want to hear my laundry list of things about Angry Guy that make me crazy from the usual leaving shit around the house like a slob to the fact that he smokes like a chimney, is miserable out in public and of course the ever famous won’t fuck his wife.

So every so often we have these knock down drag out arguments. The reason they become knock down drag out is because Kitty has decided to be honest. That combined with standing up to Angry Guy when he tries to bully me is a lethal combination. Honesty with Angry Guy never seems to work for Kitty.

So after I made the comment about Angry Guy being an outsider he got extremely nasty. Not surprising to Kitty although I was in no mood for it. He got his back up like men do and started with the “so what are you going to do about it?” Even though Angry Guy is big and intimidating, he doesn’t really scare me. He just kept yelling “what do you want to do about this?” The kids were around and obviously listening so I refrained from saying what I wanted to. I kept telling him that he is not my friend anymore. I can’t confide in him. He uses things I have told him in confidence against me during these arguments. He insists that if we separate I will have to go back to work full time. I don’t mind that but for some reason he thinks that I do. He of course used the whole headshrinker thing against me which doesn’t surprise me then turned around and told me he would go to the headshrinker if it made me happy. WHAT THE FUCK SYBIL?!?!?!

To make a long drawn out argument a little less painless for all of you, I was given the golden opportunity to be honest with Angry Guy about our marriage. I told him that I don’t like being married. I don’t like having to answer to him or ANYBODY and that I would rather live alone than have to live with someone who is so nasty to me. Angry Guy did not like that. He kept saying “I know you. I know you.” I kept saying “No you don’t.” He said “Unless you are hiding something from me”. I have to be honest and say that I got a lot of satisfaction knowing that I have an entire separate secret life that he is unaware of.

One thing that I hate about Angry Guy is that he is not a fair fighter. He brings the kids into things and basically says whatever he has to. He gets desperate. He tells the kids things like “Mommy doesn’t love me anymore.” Now how on earth does he expect me to say “that’s not true” when I want to say “it’s because of statements like that that I feel the way I do.”

 Whenever he made an awful statement like that to the kids I told him exactly that. Of course Angry Guy invited me to leave anytime I want to. See, the trouble is the house, the cars and pretty much everything is in my name. Why on earth would I leave? Not to mention the fact that I would never leave the kids or my pets for that matter.

The next scene in the “Fighting with Angry Guy” portion of our program is the passive aggressive behavior which Kitty detests even more than his nasty comments. He mopes around and gets quiet. This morning he waited for me to wake up then moped back up to bed. This is usually where I break down. This is usually where I give in. Kitty is going to be strong this time. I am not sure exactly what I want to do. I am not sure how I want to proceed. I do know that now that this has happened I sort of see a light at the end of the tunnel.

Summer Vacation

Well, this week is it. It’s the last week of school for my kids until September. I have to be honest here and tell you that not only have I been stressing over juggling work and the various camps but I have been stressing over Hammer. I hate the idea of having to watch the clock when we are together and the summer camp situation here is not going to lend itself to long leisurely afternoon play dates.

I was hesitant about saying anything to Hammer. Things are going SO WELL between us. I just adore him in case you haven’t picked up on that. I didn’t want to give him the “summer is going to be impossible” story. I didn’t want him to think that I will be playing with anybody else even though he and I don’t really discuss the idea of being exclusive. I don’t want to hurt Hammer’s feelings and I don’t want him to feel neglected.

This morning I woke up to my daily “Good Morning Baby” email from Hammer. And that sweet Hammer as usual is on pretty much the same page as Kitty. He’s got a crazy summer schedule and a bunch of family obligations as well.

See, that’s exactly what I love about Hammer. He is so easy to communicate with and not just in bed. So we agreed…Hammer and me. We agreed to work things out for the summer without any stress or obligation and if worse comes to worse (which it doesn’t sound like it will) Hammer and I will start up again in September.

In the meantime Kitty’s blog may be REALLY REALLY boring without Hammer. So if any of you have any suggestions for topics to write about that don’t involve Hammer’s long hard cock please feel free to let me know.

On the positive side like I said to Hammer, can you imagine how awesome the sex is going to be after a summer vacation?

What I Do

On any given day Kitty is your typical wife, mother, friend, professional. I wake up, go to the gym, get the kids off to school, work, come home, make dinner, sit on the couch and read while Angry Guy watches television, go to bed naked and untouched, sleep…then repeat the same thing day after day.  

Prowling is what I do. It’s not who I am. Prowling is how I act out. It’s how I satisfy my physical cravings. It’s how I get that sweet release that most women receive from the man they have committed to spending their lives with. Prowling is how I achieve an orgasm in its most primal form. Its how I can ask a man for the things that make me wet. It’s how I can ask a man for the things that make me cum.

I can ask a man to fuck me from behind, if that’s what I want. I can ask a man to fuck me in my ass, if that’s what I want. I can suck a man’s cock if that’s what I want. If I presented any of these requests to Angry Guy he would either think I was joking or be completely disgusted. The fact that as a woman I enjoy these things is not a representation of who I am. I am not a bad person because I like to be controlled by a man in the bedroom. I am not a whore because I enjoy anal sex. And I am not offending independent women’s libbers because I like to get on my knees and pleasure a man by sucking his cock. I am not a bad mother. I am not a bad wife. I am a competent professional who enjoys sex. Sometimes I enjoy when a man makes love to me. Sometimes I enjoy dirty, nasty kinky sex.

Prowling is what I do. It is not who I am.

A Chris Rock LOL

The other day Parker and I were emailing back and forth. He cracked a joke about wanting a sugar momma. This brought to mind a funny Chris Rock act about women paying. I decided to post it for you all. The whole 8 minutes is a riot in my opinion but I directed Parker to minute 3:51 specifically. Enjoy!

He Makes Me Smile

I don’t know how he does it. He just does. Everything he does…everything he says…everything he writes just makes me smile. He says what he means and he means what he says. Just my kind of guy. There are no games with him. If he says he will be there, he is there. We don’t get caught up in trivial bullshit. He is just a happy person and he makes ME a happy person. We enjoy each other…and make each other smile.

God it feels good…HE feels good. He makes me smile. Have a great weekend everybody!

Recital Rants

The past couple of days have been filled with concerts, recitals and school plays. The other night we were at my daughter’s recital. Angry Guy and I were sitting side by side but texting each other about the various dancers.  The recital was long and Angry Guy was particularly angry so the texting was a welcome distraction.

Then XXX sent me a text. It wasn’t particularly inappropriate. It turns out his wife showed up at their son’s play with her first ex-husband. WHAT A CUNT!! Poor XXX. I knew he was feeling bad and of course I couldn’t see him in person so I was trying to make him laugh by texting him whatever I could think of. I told him I would go beat the shit out of her if that would make him feel better. I invited him and his son to join us for ice cream after our marathon recital. I couldn’t help but feel like I had to turn his mood around or he would go on a drinking binge. We really didn’t send that many texts back and forth and then I received a text from Angry Guy that said

“Are you texting XXX?” SHIT! Fucking Angry Guy needs reading glasses for just about EVERYTHING and NOW all of a sudden he can see who I am texting?!??!?!?!?

At intermission I tried to explain what was going on and of course Angry Guy couldn’t have cared less. We didn’t talk about it and thankfully he cooled down and I made a mental note to be even more careful.

I thought about Hammer A LOT this weekend. I didn’t really expect to hear from him but he did shoot me a quick email on Saturday which was nice. I began thinking that it’s good that we only see each other every couple of weeks. Things with Angry Guy should calm down by the next time I see Hammer.

Part of me thought if Angry Guy said anything I would confess to him that I am really not into this whole celibate, monogamous marriage thing. Oh I would never tell him what I have been up to NEVER. But I thought if he asked me if I wanted to split up I would possibly go for it. No such luck. And once he calmed down I thought better of it.

On Sunday I helped a friend of mine out at a recital that she produces. She told me about another woman that I knew who committed suicide over the winter. The idea was devastating to me. See, this is exactly why I don’t want to rock the boat with Angry Guy. I would be afraid of what he might do. I fear less about him hurting me than hurting himself. It’s just not worth it for me. I just want to make the best of things here.

My friend…the one at the recital…her husband is a jerk. She and I are in similar situations. She separated from her husband but simply couldn’t afford it. They reconciled and I know she is making the best of it for her children but like me she wishes she didn’t have to.

Everybody is different. We are just doing what we have to for our kids. I wonder if it is more selfish for me to steal those precious hours with Hammer or to ask Angry Guy for a divorce. I still don’t think divorce is the answer here. I still have faith that things will work out for the best. So for the time being…

Lunching With XXX

This morning I ran into XXX in the parking lot. Okay…I lied. I was heading into the building; he drove past me so I turned around and walked to meet him at his car. I wanted to ask him if his lunch offer still stood…NO…not sex…LUNCH!

Angry Guy is off today and I make it a point not to have play dates on his days off so lunch and only lunch is what I had in mind. Sure enough when I said to XXX “Hey is your lunch invitation for today still open?” He said to me “Lunch? You mean FOOD?”

Of course knowing what he was asking I said, “Yes lunch…just lunch. Food and only food.” He seemed relieved. See, that’s the thing with him. One minute he will ask me what I think about starting our affair again then he will have second thoughts about it.

As I was explaining to my friend Parker, right now I am okay with all of that. If I were to take the next step and go back to fucking XXX his wishy washy behavior would make me crazy. Right now I can tell XXX that I feel this way. Right now I feel like I can tell him anything. He knows all of my secrets and I know his. He can talk to me about other women and I have no hard feelings at all. We are friends…special friends who have seen each other naked.

There were a few moments around noon when he emailed me and said he had to review some reports for an afternoon conference call that he had then he realized he had already reviewed them so we were able to go.

I know my happiness should not rely so heavily on a lunch date but believe me work can be so boring that I need SOMETHING to look forward to. I actually got that little piece of advice from the headshrinker way back when although at the time I am pretty sure she was not including getaways in hotel rooms with strange men as a viable incentive.

So XXX and I drove to lunch for the first time ever in the same car. He has some sporty car that he thinks will attract more women. Personally it does not appeal to me. I often tell him that he should get one of the sporty models of the BMW but let’s face it, he never takes my advice.

The restaurant was down the road and packed when we got there. We managed to find a private table in the corner with high stools which typically I am not comfortable in but I didn’t want to be difficult. I knew this was a little uncomfortable for XXX who is used to eating alone in his office which seems more and more like a dungeon.

We ordered and began to talk. I think one of the things that make XXX uncomfortable is that he still does not get that I say what I mean and I mean what I say. So even though I have told him hundreds of times that I am over the pain of our affair and am happy being platonic friends he can’t help but be on edge that I am not being truthful. We can thank his cunt wife for that I think. She is one of those women that send mixed messages and women like me have to suffer for all the mind games she plays.

So XXX and I discussed his current situation with his wife who by the way is still a cunt. Little by little XXX is coming to the realization that he needs to file divorce papers. I am to the point where I am supporting him no matter what but we both agree there will be no hanky panky between us because for whatever reason all that cunt has to do is snap her fingers and XXX with drop whoever his dick is in for her.

We discussed my blog, friends I have made through my blog which completely fascinates XXX.

I was also able to get XXX’s take on the other men in my life. He insists that Angry Guy is an anomaly and that he has forced me into this life style that I have been living. Personally I think that is a copout but I appreciate XXX’s support as a friend.

Lunch ended on a high note and although we didn’t actually discuss our personal affair I believe we are on the same page and both realize that the time has passed and we are better off as friends.

Later in the evening XXX texted me. He was at a school program for his son. His cunt wife had shown up with her first ex husband as a date. Poor XXX. I can only imagine how heartbroken he was. I am hoping this is the push he needs to finally move forward with his life. He is a wonderful man and if he would just get his head out of that cunt’s ass he would be able to meet someone who would show him that.

Breaking Up Is Hard To Do

Last week was a SUCKY week…except for meeting Hammer of course. Sorry Baby ;)

Several people I know died which of course sucked. The area where I live is starting to flood with tourists for the summer so all of the restaurants and roads are unbearably crowded.

Another thing that got me down is that one of my very best friends had a fight with her boyfriend. They broke up. They have been together almost as long as Angry Guy and I. Her boyfriend has “commitment issues” so they weren’t planning to get married. After all of this time we never really discuss it. They were as good as married except when things got bad last week she got up and left. She just got tired of his shit and walked out the door.

Part of me was really proud of her. Another part of me was sad for her. She had the freedom to pick up and leave. It was only a matter of getting her belongings out of the house. On the other hand it was just so easy for her to leave. It was JUST a matter of getting her belongings out of the house.

I knew they would work things out but it still made me sad. She was sad and as you all know, I LOVE my friends. Their pain is MY pain.

I’m not sure why I feel my friend’s pain from all of this. I am sure it has something to do with my situation and knowing that there are so many people out there including myself that make bad choices and betray their spouses in so many ways.

Maybe it DOES have something to do with the fact that this guy won’t marry her and although I know that marriage isn’t necessarily the best option, to those who have never BEEN married…well…it might be something on her bucket list.

And so yesterday when I met my friend for lunch I was happy to hear that her boyfriend had done the right thing and called her to apologize for his atrocious behavior and believe me it WAS atrocious. They will work things out. I knew they would. I am glad they will. I just hope he realizes how truly wonderful she is and gives her whatever it is that she needs for the rest of their lives.

Weak Moments

The other day on my way out for the day, I stopped in XXX’s office just to say hi. He was alone and sitting at his desk as usual. We chatted a bit very casually. He’s pushing through with his divorce…supposedly. He made a comment about his “10 Year Plan”. He has a financial model that will make him a multi-millionaire within ten years. I told him I would marry him at that point and so now we joke about that. We talked a little bit about divorce, child support then dieting. I told XXX that I need to lose this weight so that I have some game when his 10 Year Plan is underway.

XXX is always telling me that I am “Fine” even though we both know I need to lose this damn weight. The day before we were working together and he told me several times “You look good today. You look really really good.” I assumed it was my afterglow from my afternoon with Hammer so I just smiled.

So yesterday when XXX and I were talking about diets and what not he said “I almost CALLED you yesterday.”

“Wait, I was here yesterday…working…with you.” I was confused for a moment and then something in his eyes told me what he really meant.

“Would you have met me?” he asked.

Without even thinking I said “yes,” but then hesitated a bit.

We began talking very frankly about starting our affair again. He said “I am trying to figure out a way so that you don’t get hurt again.”

I agreed and said, “No I don’t want to get hurt again. We are in such a good place now.” I told him that things would be different. I told him it would have to be just the two of us in his bed and not Angry Guy or his cunt wife.

So we decided to talk about it next week…XXX and me.

All sorts of thoughts crossed my mind after that. I thought about that drive over to XXX’s place. I thought about his kiss. I thought about his touch. I thought about him calling out my name as he cums. I wondered if sex would be better now since we have discussed it at length over the past few months. I thought about his crystal blue eyes and how to this day I can only look at him for a few moments at a time without melting into his eyes.

I feel as though if we both wait it out that feeling, that urge will pass. XXX and I are friends now. He has weak moments and I have weak moments but we support eachother. I can tell him I will fuck him if he needs it and maybe just knowing is enough. He has done the same for me. We have not acted on it. When one of us is weak the other shows support until we can get our bearings. Wait…isn’t that what a true friendship is?

Cock Suckers

Kitty has been talking to my platonic male friends lately. Whenever they seem dissatisfied with their sex lives I always ask what their wives won’t/don’t do for them that they are looking for. I think anal sex is up there toward the top of the list. I kind of get that although surprise surprise Kitty happens to enjoy anal sex.

The other thing that I have been hearing is that some women won’t kiss their husbands after their husbands have given them oral. Okay what the fuck is that about? Is it a homophobe thing? In other words are these women afraid to taste pussy even if it is their own? Or maybe they don’t like the taste. Okay but you expect your husband to enjoy it? Again, what the fuck is that about? And who the hell has time to worry about shit like that in the throws of good fucking? I mean Kitty LOVES kissing. It is a deal breaker for me. I have to kiss and or suck something pretty much through the entire act of sex. Please tell me there are other women out there who feel the same way.

Okay now one last thing. What the fuck is up with these women who won’t suck their husband’s cock?!?!?! I REALLY don’t get that! Okay, I will admit that sucking cock is an aquired taste but once you get the feel…MMMMmmmmm.

I don’t know how to describe it but I enjoy sucking cock, giving head…whatever you want to call it. I can’t tell if it is the feel of the cock in my mouth. I am not sure if it’s the feel of my tongue running around the head. I just enjoy it and it really gets my juices flowing. Another thing I really love about it is that the men I am with LOVE it. Nothing makes Kitty happier than pleasing my partner. I am sure it’s part of my “daddy issues” but hey…I wouldn’t say it’s a BAD thing…would you?