Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Momma Says

When I told my mother about what was going on with Angry Guy she said “that’s marriage’. WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?!

I had to remind her that she and my father both raised me to be a strong, independent woman. They raised me not to take any shit from ANYBODY. So I ask again WHAT THE FUCK?!?!

Sure, I am the first one to admit that I am spoiled, selfish and now according to Angry Guy “cold” but under no circumstances do I deserve to be treated like a doormat.
My friends insist I am not selfish for wanting happiness. There are no guarantees that this decision will bring me happiness and certainly Angry Guy is not happy what so ever.

He is depressed. He is Sad Guy now. I feel horribly guilty for bringing him such sadness. I am trying with all my might to explain to him why we need to split up. He says this is coming out of left field. I must be some sort of an Academy award winning actress…or maybe he was just so caught up in living the wonderful life that he was living that he didn’t notice me. Or MAYBE he was pretending…
Regardless, now that the truth is out Kitty is fighting like hell for my freedom. Financially it’s going to be a burden but it’s worth it.

I don’t expect support although at the end of every conversation we have XXX says “I’m on your side. I’m your friend and no matter what…I’m on your side.” That’s saying something because if you compare me and Angry Guy to XXX and his cunt wife…um…I would most definitely be the cunt.

Amazingly, our kids are fine. They seem to understand. They heard the argument the other day. They heard Angry Guy back me into a corner and say “So? What do you wanna do???” I was just being honest. Even though it hurt him, I’m glad I was.

So this is marriage? I think I’ll pass.

1 comment:

Ben said...

Kitty -- As the therapists say, depression is anger turned inwards. People have to take responsibility at some stage for themselves. If he has never tried counseling or never followed up on counseling (has he? I suspect not), then at some point you do have to make a decision about your own life. Could this be the kick in the butt that moves him to seek out help? And if he does, you'll have another decision.

Have you read the books by Harold Kushner? He has a lot of wisdom to share for situatins such as this.

It does not surprise me that you kids are not surprised. They sense or know more than you suspect.

Take care of yourself. Take care of your kids.