Thursday, June 14, 2012

The Big Fight

Angry Guy and I had a big fight last night. It was his day off and I was at work all day. When I got home he made some nasty comment about one of my family members and we were “off to the races”! Now I’ll admit, I don’t always get along with my family members but we have always had an unwritten agreement that family is family and spouses when it comes to certain things are “outsiders”. In light of Angry Guy’s attitude lately he is definitely more of an outsider and I told him that.

The thing with Angry Guy is that even though we very rarely argue I can’t get it through to him that one of the main reasons is because Kitty let’s A LOT of things slide by. Believe me you don’t want to hear my laundry list of things about Angry Guy that make me crazy from the usual leaving shit around the house like a slob to the fact that he smokes like a chimney, is miserable out in public and of course the ever famous won’t fuck his wife.

So every so often we have these knock down drag out arguments. The reason they become knock down drag out is because Kitty has decided to be honest. That combined with standing up to Angry Guy when he tries to bully me is a lethal combination. Honesty with Angry Guy never seems to work for Kitty.

So after I made the comment about Angry Guy being an outsider he got extremely nasty. Not surprising to Kitty although I was in no mood for it. He got his back up like men do and started with the “so what are you going to do about it?” Even though Angry Guy is big and intimidating, he doesn’t really scare me. He just kept yelling “what do you want to do about this?” The kids were around and obviously listening so I refrained from saying what I wanted to. I kept telling him that he is not my friend anymore. I can’t confide in him. He uses things I have told him in confidence against me during these arguments. He insists that if we separate I will have to go back to work full time. I don’t mind that but for some reason he thinks that I do. He of course used the whole headshrinker thing against me which doesn’t surprise me then turned around and told me he would go to the headshrinker if it made me happy. WHAT THE FUCK SYBIL?!?!?!

To make a long drawn out argument a little less painless for all of you, I was given the golden opportunity to be honest with Angry Guy about our marriage. I told him that I don’t like being married. I don’t like having to answer to him or ANYBODY and that I would rather live alone than have to live with someone who is so nasty to me. Angry Guy did not like that. He kept saying “I know you. I know you.” I kept saying “No you don’t.” He said “Unless you are hiding something from me”. I have to be honest and say that I got a lot of satisfaction knowing that I have an entire separate secret life that he is unaware of.

One thing that I hate about Angry Guy is that he is not a fair fighter. He brings the kids into things and basically says whatever he has to. He gets desperate. He tells the kids things like “Mommy doesn’t love me anymore.” Now how on earth does he expect me to say “that’s not true” when I want to say “it’s because of statements like that that I feel the way I do.”

 Whenever he made an awful statement like that to the kids I told him exactly that. Of course Angry Guy invited me to leave anytime I want to. See, the trouble is the house, the cars and pretty much everything is in my name. Why on earth would I leave? Not to mention the fact that I would never leave the kids or my pets for that matter.

The next scene in the “Fighting with Angry Guy” portion of our program is the passive aggressive behavior which Kitty detests even more than his nasty comments. He mopes around and gets quiet. This morning he waited for me to wake up then moped back up to bed. This is usually where I break down. This is usually where I give in. Kitty is going to be strong this time. I am not sure exactly what I want to do. I am not sure how I want to proceed. I do know that now that this has happened I sort of see a light at the end of the tunnel.


Anonymous said...

Effective fighting now that's a topic they never tought in school. If they did we all would be better off. Took me along time to learn.


Anonymous said...

Effective fighting now that's a topic they never tought in school. If they did we all would be better off. Took me along time to learn.


Anonymous said...


That doesn't sound too pleasant, bringin the kids into it and using them to manipulate the situation is something he will regret when he is older.

I'm not sure how old your kids are, but providing they are of the age where they form memories, when they are grown and in relationships of their own they will remember what their Dad said and how he used them like that. They likely won't be too pleased.

WestsideTori said...

Stay strong, Kitty. You know, deep down, what you have to do next.

The fact that he brought the kids into it speaks volumes about the kind of a person he is. Karma will come back to bite him in the butt for doing that.

Mrs. M said...

Sucky, sucky situation! I hate fighting! I say I'm strong in every of my life except with the Hubby! For some reason for me now matter how much I hate my situation or anything the thought of breaking up my family seems worse! My kids are still pretty young and they think their life is pretty perfect! I keep telling myself that as long as I have my secret life to keep me sane I can deal but somedays (somewhat similar to your post) I can't help but think I could be better off! I don't know- it's so hard! Best of luck! Aren't the other stories so much more fun to talk about, lol!

Ben said...

Kitty -- You'll have to look at your deep inner strengths and chart you own path. Your life is yours. Take care.


naughtyangel420247 said...

Holy Crap, I could have written the same post! Everything is in my name too. Stay strong. Are you sure we aren't married to the same man?

Anonymous said...

Married to angry women , feel your pain , I vote for the big. D, no pain no gain, get out