Kitty's Wall

Big Cheese is out of the office today so I am sneaking in a little time to write, that is between visits from our friendly neighbors and my Little Latino Helper. It’s funny how the day started out today and how the morning has progressed. It’s just 9:00 a.m. and I already have 4 or 5 blog topics to write.

Let’s start off with my initial blog. Yesterday was sort of a sad day for Kitty. Nothing in particular happened I just can’t describe it any other way. I had a chat with a former lover. Really I am just going to refer to these guys as “Encounters” because let’s face it there is no love there and I only met the guy once.

So he and I were chatting briefly online. Although he keeps in touch he skirts the issue of meeting again. Don’t ya just love a guy who doesn’t have the courage to tell you that he’s not into you?

So anyway, Kitty sort of had him pinned against the wall. He told me that he hasn’t met anybody else and made a comment about being too old for the women he has contacted. He told me this before and at the time I felt bad for him. I mean I totally think he is adorable. So the guy’s feelings were bruised which you can’t blame him but dude HERE I AM!!! I want you!!!

So after expressing my interest I realized like a slap in the face that this guy for whatever reason thinks Kitty is not good enough for him. WHAT THE FUCK?!?!

Listen, Kitty knows I am not beautiful and not thin but Kitty is a highly educated, well spoken pleasant woman with a super personality and sense of humor.

Okay so that realization not only brought Kitty down to earth but really hurt my feelings. Later at night I caught up with my old buddy “Discreetesq”. D and I chatted a bit and D gave me some great insight much like Bad Boy. See, the thing I don’t get is that I have always started out saying that I am happy with just a one time thing. It is only after these men promise that they are different and promise that they want something more that Kitty gets into trouble. My favorite trysts were “one and dones”. Okay, I know you think I am obsessed with G but YES! My encounter with G turned out to be perfect in just about every way. Would I like to meet G again? Of course! Is it going to happen? No. Am I hurt? Absolutely not because G and I agreed that would be it. Oh yes, there was a point where we tried to connect but for no fault of his own we just could not make it happen.

So last night D told me once again that these men who promise that they are different are just trying to gain control. That’s almost word for word what Bad Boy told me. D went even further by telling me that my openness and honesty is a sign of weakness and I have to be indifferent to these men…build a wall more or less. So while that is just not in my nature I found myself reflecting this morning and realizing that Kitty has to start to build that wall.