Misery Loves Company

I was having a pretty good day today. I have to say that my new friend is a calming influence on me. I like it. We were going to try to meet if the weather was bad. He works outside so if the weather was good he had to work. I prepared myself and was fine when I got the text that he was working today. So we will meet another time.

I figured I’d take the opportunity to do some work for XXX. For whatever reason my email wasn’t working when I got into the office so I walked into his to ask if he could use me today. Right off the bat he made some stupid remark about my earrings. What the fuck?! He said “Wow, look at those earrings!” What the fuck is THAT supposed to mean??!?! Then he said “Not everybody can pull those off.” I asked him what the problem is and told him that I have worn these very same earrings before. I remember specifically wearing them and removing them during one of our “sessions” at his place. So he didn’t remember…whatever.

He then went on and on about his weekend. He has this “Holier than thou” attitude with me lately and I want to punch him in the face most of the time. Not so much because I am jealous but more because I am trying so hard not to remind him that his wife has a history of cheating on him and in my experience will be back to cheating in no time.

In other words Kitty is trying to take the high road.

So I go back to my office and work and then return to XXX’s office when it is time to work with him. We exchange the usual “How ya doin’?” that we always have. He admitted that his drinking has gotten out of control then continued to tell me that he has never been happier. Okay, Kitty is not judging at this point. I ask how his attempt to quit smoking is going. He said fine. He can refrain from smoking when he is at the house with his wife but when he moves back for good he is going to quit entirely. Okay, still Kitty does not judge.

Then XXX for whatever reason decided to turn on Kitty and says “How is your BIKER friend?” Um…I believe he is talking about my friend “Jr.” a.k.a. The Voice of Reason. SERIOUSLY, PEOPLE, we need to think of a good blog name for him!

Now I have no idea where XXX got the impression that Jr. is a biker because #1 he’s not and #2 I haven’t told XXX anything specific about him just that we met in person and that I like him. When I failed to react to XXX’s biker comment, he pushed it even further and said, “Kitty, we are going to cleanse your soul in 2012.”

Okay….WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?!?!?!?!?! I think XXX was a little shaken because I looked straight at him and said “Okay….WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?!?!?!?!?!” I continued by saying “Do you realize how completely pompous and arrogant you sound?” Now XXX gets this contrite look on his face and I can never tell if he is sincere or not. I have to tell you though that one of the benefits of working with the guy you used to fuck is that you can say just about anything to him and he can’t won’t fire you.

So I pointed out to XXX that #1 he is no better than me just because he has reconciled with his wife. #2 just because he is happy doesn’t mean his lifestyle would make ME happy just as my lifestyle wouldn’t necessarily make HIM happy. In other words I pointed out that just as he pities me for taking on a lover I pity him for taking back a woman who will most likely always cheat on him. Only Kitty said it in a nicer way. Either way it had to be said.

I also pointed out that I am trying so hard to be a good kitty. “What do you mean?” he asked.

“I mean that as your friend I support your decision to reconcile with your wife. I wish you every happiness. But in all honesty, as a cheater I know that once we have tasted the forbidden fruit…” Initially I hated saying that. I did not want to sound sour because I really am not and the funny thing is that when we work together I have no problem with it. I am not the least bit attracted to XXX or the least bit uncomfortable around him which for whatever reason makes him EXTREMELY uncomfortable.

So the point I am trying to make dear friends is that misery loves company. I believe XXX is miserable and I do feel bad about that but DUDE, I will not let you drag me down there with you and I don’t need YOU to cleanse my soul. Thank you.

Laugh Out Loud - Tea Bagging

HEY! If you are bored with my blog refrencing "Sex and the City" every other day then you have two choices. Either you can give me something good to write about and by that I mean FUCK ME. Or you can sit down, shut up and watch this because it made me LOL!

I think it's funny because basically I am usually the one in the room who automatically assumes the comment made was sexual in nature. I'm the one in the room that usually gets the funny looks.

Actually, after watching this yet again I am more like Miranda who is asking the questions "Why do they call it 'tea-bagging"?

I love this scene regardless. So laugh with me and hang in there. I am still being a good kitty so this is all I got...for now.

Why Christmas Shopping This Year is Going to be the DEATH of Naughty Kitty

Can I start out by saying that Kitty is probably the one and only woman on Earth that hates to shop? All I can say is thank God for the internet! Since Big Cheese is away and no other self respecting individuals are here in the office today I am Christmas shopping online…all alone. I think XXX is in although I haven’t seen him yet. I am just not up for that look that he gives me. The look of pity like “I got holiday sex last night and you didn’t”. You know that look right?

My little Latino helper is here and he stopped by. I tried to get my new “friend” to come by and visit but he is busy with his own family stuff. So here I am cyber shopping. Sounds like heaven right? Well…it would be…if I didn’t have to shop for a new computer.

See, Kitty is quite the techy and I sure do love computers as you all know but shopping for them is torture for me especially today. No, not for the reasons you would think. Most people get caught up in whether to buy a Toshiba, Apple, HP. Most people get caught up in whether to get a 250 gig, 320 gigs. No, none of that concerns Kitty today.

Today Kitty is tortured by the size. Kitty is shopping and reading and fantasizing…yes. I started off on a good note. I knew the brand I was going for and the approximate gigage when all of a sudden on my own computer screen numbers started popping up that sent me into a tail spin. Should Kitty get a 10 inch? 15.6 inch? 17 INCH?!?!?!

Now hopefully you have read my blog before this and know by now that after reading “10 inch” Kitty was no longer focused on COMPUTERS!

Needless-to-say Kitty is unable to concentrate on computers and has now wandered over to the Babeland page shopping for my own “stocking stuffer”.

“Just when I thought I was out... they pull me back in”

I hope none of you had any money on my dropping out of the prowling scene…’cause you would have lost it.

I made it for over a month I think. I was a good kitty…until I met…HIM.

I need to find a blog name for HIM. Maybe you all can help me. I will describe HIM and then open the floor for names.

First of all he is very rugged, hunky and in great shape. He’s got that soft spoken voice but is very commanding which you all know that I LOVE. And something that you can’t see in his pictures but I noticed right away in person is that he has the most beautiful blue eyes. That seems to be the kiss of death for me. I LOVE guys with blue eyes.

So yes, we met on Ashley Madison and yes, we met before I pulled my profile. We kept in touch and have been chatting an awful lot lately. Before you know it we crossed the line from “How ya doin’?” to “Where are we meeting?”

I was alone in my office and bored to tears. That’s when I get into the most trouble according to the headshrinker. So he and I start chatting. We have the usual naughty chat but then Kitty did what Kitty does and tried to coax him to meet. Kitty tried to coax him to meet at a hotel. I am not sure how close he came to agreeing but luckily he kept his wits about him and talked me down from the ledge. We decided to meet for an in person chat instead and a friendship was born.

Whenever I go to these meet and greets I never know what the other person is thinking. It seems much easier for them because more often than not they have read my blog and let’s face it, my blog says all there is to say about me.

So I definitely got a good feeling and he says he got a good feeling so…

Voice of Reason

You are my voice of reason. I wonder how you do it. How do you maintain control? How do you keep a level head? When I ask you to come to me, you stop. You think. You process. Then you react. I want your level headedness.

My blood is hot. My loins are burning. My nipples are hard. I think of you. I think of us. I imagine how good our bodies will feel next to each other. I imagine how good you will feel inside of me. You feel it too. I know you do.

I imagine your kiss ever so gentle on my mouth. I imagine you working your way down my neck with your mouth as you unbutton my blouse. I imagine you running your tongue around my nipples which have become hard just as I write this.

I close my eyes and feel your tongue move lower then retract. “It’s about control,” you tell me.

You kneel at my side and begin to undress. You unbutton your own plaid flannel shirt. Your eyes meet my eyes and your mouth begins to curl into a smile. I reach to help you but you move my hand away. “It’s about control,” you repeat still maintaining eye contact, still smiling.

I lay seemingly patient. My stomach is churning. I long to touch you but the look in your eyes tells me “No.”

You pull off your worn blue jeans to expose what is the biggest most beautiful cock that I have ever seen. It is perfect in its shape and size and oh how I want to take it in my hands. I want to take it in my mouth. It’s all about control.

You begin stroking yourself as you look into my eyes. My desire for you is so strong now that I want to cry. I reach down to touch myself and again your eyes pierce me as to say “No, it’s about control.” You become fully erect. I am so tense that I am helpless. I can’t touch you. I can’t feel you. I can’t kiss you. I can’t put your long hard cock in my mouth the way I long to. And now I am unable to touch myself. I am a slave to your whim. I search your face for a sign. I look into your eyes begging. Please let me have it. Please let me touch it. Please let me suck it. Please kiss me. Please reach for me.

You continue to stroke yourself but slower now. I think to myself “Is it possible? Is it my turn?” Then I think again, “It’s about control”.

What should I do next? Should I gather my wits and get up and leave? Is that what you want? Do you want me to take control? Do you want me to leave you wanting more?

It’s all about control. It’s all about control.

Secret Lovers

One of my last AM encounters before I called it quits was with “Italian Stallion”. He asked me not to write about our encounter. I did write about it but out of respect for his wishes I never posted. One thing I have to say about him besides the fact that the sex was amazing is that he is truly genuine and maintains that he wants to carry on a long term affair. At the time this was something I was looking for. I just don’t think he is the right fit for me not to mention the fact that I am backing away from “The Life”. I hadn’t heard from him but saw him online and chose not to initiate a chat. Finally the other night he must have seen me online or just took a chance and tried to start a chat. I ignored it but then felt guilty. Isn’t that exactly what all the lovers I have had before him have done to me?

So I decided to email him just to let him know that I am not a complete bitch:

Hi Stallion,

I am sorry for not keeping in touch. I am going through some tough times. Not keeping in touch with anybody. I don't want to hurt your feelings. You are a sweetheart.

Kitty

Stallion: thanks for getting back to me. Please call me sometime Sunday. I'm working all day so I'll be able to talk. Look I'm your friend. Let me help you through these times. ok? [personal cell] just txt me first baby.

Kitty: It's not about that Stallion. It's about what's going on in my head and in my heart. I am not meeting anybody else. I have removed all my profiles permanently. I won't go back to that. You were great and I  got lucky. My safety is always at risk with anybody I meet and I didn't feel unsafe with you. At any rate it doesn't matter because I need to give up all the rest of it now at least until I get my head straight.

Stallion: Well I am sorry about that. I just hope you trust me and would continue to be my secret lover. I do want to talk to you.

Kitty: I am out of town. I will text you when I get home if I can talk but there is really nothing you can do. This is my shit to deal with but I appreciate you trying to be a friend.

Stallion: Ok, let me ask you this, how about I try to take care of your sexual needs so you won't have to keep trolling on the net? Let's meet whenever we can. Ok kitty?

Kitty: I need some time Stallion. It is not your fault and I am sorry. I really am.

Stallion Ok baby. Whenever you get the chance to txt me please do. I want to talk to you real soon. I just want you to know that what we had was not a 1 time thing and that I care for you as a lover and friend. Anyway, you do suck great cock. Now cheer up.

There was a time when these emails would have been a real turn on to me…especially the “You do suck great cock” comment. I mean what girl doesn’t want to hear that?

Today I am choosing to walk away.

My headshrinker would be SO proud right now.

Holiday Sex

Just out of curiosity, how many of you are having sex today or tonight…on Thanksgiving? Personally I believe it should be mandatory. Don’t tell my Ex husband though because he would agree with me but guess what…I never thought so when he was my actual sex partner.

So given the fact that “Angry Guy” is working my prospects for having Holiday sex is nonexistent…unless I dig out my big green friend but it is just not the same. It is just not as festive.

So what’s a girl to do?

1.     I am going to do all sorts of nice things to take my mind off of sex today. I am going to make a lovely dinner and tasty desserts.

2.     I am going to think of my Christmas list and try to think of inexpensive and easy to find gifts that the kids can get me.

3.     I SHOULD get my ass on the treadmill to punish myself for the awful way I have been eating over the past few weeks.

4.     I should work on the Christmas gift that I am making for my friend.

5.     I should catch up on my writing and post a bunch of blogs in advance so that if anything happens to me in the meantime you will all have a piece of me left at least for a short while.

That leads me to an annual tradition around here that seems to be fading as the kids grow older…When the kids were babies I used to shop WAY ahead and hide their stuff all around the house. Those of you with kids who celebrate Christmas know how difficult it is to hide a toy in a house with very little closet space so I would pile the gifts in this china closet that I inherited from my grandparents. First of all this china closet stands in the corner and nobody usually notices it. “Angry Guy” hates it but I love it because it is sentimental to me and it provides AWESOME storage space so the china closet STAYS!

I hide the key in another closet in my office. So when the kids were young and all believed in Santa I would hide the gifts and lock them up. “Angry Guy” was pretty much out of the groove so I would try to tell him “I want you to know where all the gifts are hidden in case I get hit by a car before Christmas. I still want the kids to have Christmas.”

He refused to listen to my drivel which only made me more anxious. Yes, I am a bit of a control freak and wanted the kids to have all of the gifts that I spent so much time and effort buying for them. I would think back to that episode of “8 is Enough” when the kids find a gift that the dead mother had bought and they never found. I didn’t want that to happen to my kids. I sure do give myself a lot of credit don’t I??

“Angry Guy” assured me that if I were tragically killed before the holiday that he would be in no mood to celebrate the holiday. Well that just seems silly to me. Life moves on. My only request was that he finds someone who will be good to my kids if he should re-marry but I am not even going to get started with that.

So, see, I feel better already…about not having Holiday sex that is.

Summer Homes

I know you are all tired of hearing about my wonderful friends but tough! I happen to have this awesome friend he is a contractor and builds high end homes for the rich and famous in our area. Every now and then he asks me to join him in one of these homes during construction then post construction so he can show off his talents. Believe me; I am well aware of his talents.

I do enjoy meeting him on the jobsites though. I am generally dressed from a day in the office with Big Cheese so I enter the construction site and am quite out of place in my high heels. Generally there are workmen all over the place including carpenters, electricians, plumbers you name it. I am pretty sure my friend likes to torture me with the temptation as well. We always start out with my friend making a general introduction, “This is Kitty. Be nice to her. She pays you.”

I have to admit that I feel like Julia Roberts in “Pretty Woman” when he does this. You know the scene when Richard Gere takes her shopping and tells all the salespeople to kiss her ass and they do. Well that happens here as well. At this point a lot of the guys already recognize me but they are just nice overall.

That combined with the idea of a three story house chock full of strong well built men with rough hands, blue jeans, Timberland boots who drive Ford 150’s makes Kitty a little wet. Do you blame me?!?!

So we are walking through this absolutely gorgeous house the other day and my friend is pointing out all the fine detailed woodwork as well as the tile work and trying to explain to me how the decorator determined all the variables. We walk together room by room and yes this house is absolutely exquisite. We work our way upstairs slowly. There are bedrooms and bathrooms on each floor. There are two laundry rooms and an elevator. The kitchen is on the second floor and overlooks the bay. The house has been decorated with all sorts of built ins and although I am not a kitty who is envious, I admit to my friend that this is by far the most gorgeous house that I have ever seen. He beams with pride having consulted on each and every one of the details that I love.

We finally make our way up to the third floor where there is a laundry room a beautiful children’s room with a bathroom that is nicer than any I have ever seen before. The kid’s bedroom is decorated from top to bottom for the two little boys that will spend their summers there.

I admire the boy’s room when my friend calls me in to see the master suite right next door. He holds my hand and shows me the closets and the master bathroom which is filled with the most beautiful marble and cabinetry. The entire suite overlooks the bay again. The views are spectacular. My friend guides me to French doors that overlook the water. He rests his hand on my shoulders as he has done many times before and so I am not at all disturbed by this.

He hugs me gently and wraps his arm around my shoulder as we both admire his work. He is filled with so much pride. He is truly a wonderful man and a gifted craftsman. As we turn around to walk out of the master suite I notice something. It is disturbing to me initially and now I become irate. My friend asks what the problem is.

“The headboard of the master bed is up against the same wall as the headboards of the boy’s beds.” He looks at me and smiles. “Kitty,” he says “It’s just a summer home for these people.”

I could not believe my ears. I looked at my friend searching for some sign that he was joking then said to him, “Believe me, if MY husband had this house built for me I WOULD be fucking him in that suite!”

My friend laughed out loud, gave me a hug and a gentle kiss on the lips letting his tongue just slip in and out of my mouth. He held my head in his hands,looked into my eyes and  said, “I am sure you would Kitty! I’m sure you would.”

Finding My Way OFF the Shit List

The only way I can really tell if I am not on the Angry Guy’s shit list is if he makes me breakfast in the morning. If he is REALLY in a good mood he will make me an egg and leave it on the counter for me when I come down in the morning.

More often than not especially these days, I come down to an empty counter. The other day I was really on the shit list. The reason I know this is because I went to the gym and walked the dog. When I was just about back to my house the Angry Guy drove past. He said something out the window but I didn’t hear him. Most likely it wasn’t “Have a great day. I love you.”

He was pissed because he had to leave the kids alone or so he thought. He was leaving for work and I wasn’t home from walking the dog yet.

Angry Guy keeps me on a pretty short leash. Yes, the expression is too appropriate.

I often ask myself “when did the Angry Guy and I stop being each other’s best friends?” I mean we tell each other we are best friends but I don’t think either one of us believes it anymore.

When did my best friend become some strange guy in a hotel room? When did his best friend become his carton of cigarettes?

I have a photo of us that was taken at our wedding. We are walking back up the isle just after the ceremony. We are both smiling. I am looking down and Angry Guy is looking at me and reaching to touch my hair. I can’t even describe the look on his face except to say that he looked truly in love. If I weren’t the person he was reaching for that’s exactly what I would think.

The justice of the peace at our wedding had us wrap our arms around each other and look into each other’s eyes. He told us to remember that moment whenever our marriage hits hard times.

It doesn’t really help.

The Trouble With Boy Toys

Kitty is having lots of fun playing with my little toy S. He is a refreshing change from the older married guys that I had been hanging with. It’s funny though because even though S is so young he is an old soul. He is almost more mature than I am at times.

So even though things are great and we are enjoying each other and our long distance relationship I am still seeing the headshrinker and yes, I told the headshrinker all about S.

The thing that I love about my headshrinker is that she doesn’t judge me but she does ask me questions that make me think about shit.

So of course she is going to try to get to the bottom of the whole boy toy thing. Is my issue control? In other words when I was fucking older men they were sometimes condescending and degrading. In a boy toy relationship I have more control…or so she says. Although even my boy toy is very protective and strong in the bedroom which I LOVE.

The whole boy toy thing makes me very uncomfortable in all honesty. For one thing I was always the girl to opt for personality over looks. If there was a guy that could make me laugh, I would pick him over the handsome jock in a heartbeat.

Now even though he doesn’t like to admit it S is stunningly handsome. He also happens to make me laugh and I am sorry but the boy can fuck like no other boy/man I have ever been with. I am convinced that it is the whole nerdy/intellectual thing. I am convinced these fucking guys do their homework because my best lovers have been the nerdiest guys. Sorry S but you are kind of a geek. That happens to be one of the things I love most about you though.

Can I tell you also that I am under a certain amount of pressure not only to look my best and lose weight but to perform in bed like a freakin’ acrobat?!?!?! I am killing myself at the gym and I guess I will have to pace before my next encounter with S so I can keep up in light of the fact that he almost killed me the last time. He didn’t REALLY almost kill me but boy did that guy have energy.

I thought the whole point of having a boy toy is for him to serve ME. Also, I thought I was supposed to be the more experienced of the two. My particular boy toy has got it goin’ on and knows as much if not more than me when it comes to sex, positions,fucking…

The one thing that the headshrinker pointed out that I am well aware of is that the day is going to come when my dear, sweet, beautiful, young S falls in love with a girl who is better suited for him. This will obviously lead to S rejecting me which is the crux of my problems.

S and I discuss this. We are not fools. I am learning to take each moment we have together for what it is worth.  And when the day comes that S finds that special someone I have promised to step aside and let him go to live his life. But for now S is mine and I am enjoying him to the fullest.

Doctor's Orders

One of my headshrinker’s instructions this week was to have sex with Angry Guy no matter what I believe his intentions are. I had mentioned that he will fuck me every couple of weeks seemingly out of obligation.

So this morning at approximately 4:30 a.m. when I heard him rustling about in the bathroom I prepared myself. Maybe it was the fact that he was brushing his teeth that clued me in so I decided to take the headshrinker’s advice.

Angry guy slipped into the warm bed behind me. I was still half asleep and naked but warm in my Egyptian cotton cocoon. He began to run his hand gently down my back and down the side of my naked leg. He gently pushed my hair out of the way and began kissing my neck then my shoulders.

When he felt that I was responding and beginning to awake he gently slipped his hand between my legs and slowly rubbed my clit. This is an all too familiar yet welcome picture.

I rolled over to face him and he began kissing my mouth working his tongue in and out of my mouth then kissed my neck briefly.

I reached down between his legs and realized that he wasn’t hard. I picked myself up still in a daze and focused on putting is dick in my mouth. I could feel him getting hard as I caressed the head of his penis with my tongue gently sucking ever so slightly at first then moving him in and out of my mouth making sure to catch the back of my throat with his head whenever I could.

Within a few minutes  he gave me a little nudge to let me know to stop. I pulled my head off with one last strong suck then climbed on top of his now completely erect cock. He held my hips and moved my body back and forth to the rhythm he wanted stopping only to grab me to pull me into a kiss or to suck my nipples.

It wasn’t long before he gave me another nudge which meant that it was time to switch positions. I rolled onto my back. He took my legs and positioned them over his shoulders rubbing my clit just a little bit before I took his dick in my hands, rubbed the head against me just before pulling it inside of me. He thrusted deeply only a few times before he groaned “Oh my God” and came.

I never know whether that is a comliment or not. On the one hand I see it as a sign that he is so into it that he can’t control himself. On the other hand he can’t control himself. This isn’t a concern for me because he always makes sure that I cum after him so once he is done it is my turn.

He lay on top of me breathless for just a moment before he began kissing my stomach down to my pussy where he once again found my clit and moved his tongue in and out of each fold methodically while he moved his fingers in and out rhythmically.

I could hear myself moaning but felt nothing but the shear pleasure below my waist. His tongue moved quicker and quicker as my moans became louder. My body began to quiver and with one last deep thrust of his tongue inside of me and I too moaned one last “Oh my God” before the alarm went off to wake me up for the gym.

L.O.V.E.

I just received this from a man that I absolutely LOVE...LOVE...LOVE! Thank you! This makes me smile.

The Cure for an Overactive Sex Drive

One of the questions that the headshrinker asked me was how I pulled myself out of my depression the last time I went through it which was several years ago.

I couldn’t remember exactly so I asked my friend if she could remember. She reminded me that I joined the gym and actually signed up for a weight loss challenge. I remembered that. I was motivated then. I had found something to care about and without even realizing it not only had I pulled myself out of my funk but also ended the winter with my very best body.

Obviously I let my guard down since then because even though I still hit the gym I gained back a good bit of the weight and feel overall shitty about myself.

So, this friend of mine, the friend who reminded me about the gym…well she just got certified for being a personal trainer. So she asked me to attend this new class that she started at the gym called Tabata. She said it was hard. She said it was painful. She said if I could walk when I was done then I wasn’t doing it right.

I said “I’m in!”

Today is the day after. I can’t move. I can walk but it’s actually more of a hobble. As I hobbled into the gym this morning at 5:30 I realized that I couldn’t fuck anybody even if I tried. The thought of throwing my legs over anybody’s shoulders makes me want to cry. The idea of getting on all fours for doggie style and/or anal sex is out of the question.

So you see? Kitty is offering a helpful hint for those of you who like me just can’t seem to get your mind off of sex. It’s called Tabata.

So Maybe I am More of a "Carrie"...Minus the Ray Bans

Before you ask, NO I did not spend all weekend watching “Sex and the City” episodes…well…not THIS weekend.

I am not sure what disturbs me more…the fact that I watched this initially because I saw that Bon Jovi was in it or because I KEPT watching it because Bon Jovi was in it.

I am choosing to post it because it is so relevant. Yes, I am sure you are all saying “DUH, Kitty! We ALL pick the wrong men/women!”

Initially on Ashley Madison I went for guys that were EXACTLY wrong for me. In fact as my headshrinker would say, “That’s the whole point of the website, right?” Then toward the end I had decided I wanted more of a long term lover to fill in the “voids” that my husband, son, father left me.

Okay, I need to ponder a little more. Maybe I will watch Bon Jovi just a FEW more times and I will find the answer. What do you think?

Guess Who’s Cumming For Dinner

Thanksgiving this year was well on its way to being dismal. It was just going to be me and the kids and maybe a few other family members. And then “The Boy” decided to pay a visit. “The Boy” is a little nickname that my favorite Grad student’s father calls him.

Yes, we are treading on some strange territory here. First of all “The Boy’s’” parents and I have become close friends. How do you tell one of your closest friends that you are fucking their son? Well, “The Boy” and I have both agreed to keep that little gem of a secret to ourselves. I mean why complicate things right?

“The Boy” has also become friendly with my son at school. So how do I tell my son that I am fucking his friend? Again, keeping that one to ourselves.

So in an effort to pick up the mood around here a little I told my son to invite a friend for the holiday if there was anybody he knows who does not have a place to go.

Don’t ask me how he managed to pick “The Boy” but that is EXACTLY who my son chose to bring home. Lucky me! I mean…seriously. I am LUCKY!

So now “The Boy” and I have to figure out how the hell THAT’s going to work. Like for instance when he comes into the house. Do I kiss him on the cheek or should we kiss the way we would ordinarily kiss…with tongue? Okay, cheek kissing and maybe one of us will slip and brush against the other person’s lips. “The Boy” is about 6’4” so it’s doubtful but a girl can dream can’t she?

How about sleeping arrangements? It’s only the polite thing to give “The Boy” the master bedroom to sleep in…and then sleep there with him. Wouldn’t you agree? Probably Angry Guy would not agree since we don’t have a king size bed. Is there time to pick one up before the holiday?

At dinner should we sit opposite each other or next to one another? If we are next to each other The Boy might be tempted to slip his hands between my legs. Although I would like that I don’t know if the Pilgrims would have gone that route. Maybe we should act like Pilgrims. Since The Boy is so well educated I am going to let him figure out how the Pilgrims would handle this situation. I’m doing the cooking.

Then don’t forget the goodnight kiss. Again, on the cheek? Damn, I wish there were a “How to” guide for this sort of thing.

How are you all spending the holiday?

Joel Osteen is Hot

What’s a naughty kitty like me doing lusting after Minister Joel Osteen?? He’s “inspirational”! Okay don’t believe me but he is!

I began watching him a few years ago and listen to his podcasts whenever I need some inspiration. I dig that he saves the religious stuff for the very end. Even my mom is hip to it and we both turn the television off at the last 10 minutes when he starts with the prayer where you have to “accept Jesus Christ as my lord and savior”.

Those words can be pretty scary to a girl like me. I am afraid if I actually say them out loud that I will burst into flames or something. Apparently my mother feels the same way so there may be some validity to it.

I have to admit that I enjoy Joel’s anecdotes and he always starts off with a joke. Granted, it is usually religious in nature but he tickles my funny bone never-the-less.

Okay so yes, I will admit I think Joel is kind of hot…in a Southern bumpkin sort of way. Oh don’t get me wrong, he wouldn’t last 5 minutes on the cruel streets of New Jersey but he has potential.

His teeth bother my mother…of course and I can see that but for the most part he has a nice physique and from certain angles the teeth are not bad. His hair could use some work but let’s face it, he ain’t no Jerry Fallwell or Jim Baker. You just KNOW something is up with those guys. Were any of us REALLY surprised when Jim Baker got caught with his hand in the “cookie” jar so to speak?? The “pie safe”?? You know what I am saying.

At least with Joel…when and if that day comes we can say “Sure he’s getting pussy! He’s a good looking guy and he’s inspirational…and tells a good Christian joke”.

Hey, don’t go by me. Judge for yourself.

Three Amigos

When I first started with Ashley Madison I have to say I met quite a few quality men. Some of them I met for coffee. Some of them I met for sex. Some I maintain relationships with because they are just so fucking COOL!

The other day I heard from three of them simultaneously. All three made me smile. The first was my “Celebrity” and no, I still have not figured out who the hell he is. I do know that he knows a hell of a lot about the local restaurants and I know that he is a writer. I am thinking maybe he writes for the big city newspaper. Damn! Anyway, he emails poetic emails that just make me feel adored. What can I say? He’s a WRITER!! He knows how to play with words to get to me.

I also got an email from Top Gun. I haven’t heard from him in ages. My heart skipped a beat when I saw his name pop up in my “inbox”. Top Gun has been going through some shit lately and we have been wanting to get together to talk. I have to say that for whatever reason one of his older emails ended up in my spam folder. WTF?! Top Gun is NOT SPAM!

Lastly of course I got a text from the Dodger. He’s a tough one. He drops out of site here and there. I never know if he is busy or if he is done with the little game that we play.  He said he wanted to talk. I asked if I could call him. FYI Kitty hates talking on the phone so for me to offer that up to Dodger is truly an offering. Dodger being Dodger was concerned about tracking calls and whatnot. I am beyond that at this point so I went ahead and called him. We had a nice talk. God, I wish I could pin that damn Dodger down! When it comes to Dodger you all know how I feel. At this point I would rather have the friendship that we have than fuck him and lose him. So I wait patiently for him to resurface. We have a nice conversation to catch up. He makes a joke about fucking in my car then we move on.

So what I am saying is that I have these three great guys. They float in and out of my life. We have an unspoken agreement not to become attached and so when I receive their emails or texts they are simply sweet little surprises.

They are my three amigos.

Awkward

So I have this friend that I met through Ashley Madison way back. We have not hooked up although he has not given up hope. But I adore him. He is sweet and kind and funny and…a CELEBRITY!!

Yes, that’s right. Kitty has met doctors and lawyers and now Kitty has met a celebrity on AM. There is only one problem. I DON’T RECOGNIZE HIM!!!

What the fuck?!?!?!

He has sent me pictures. Yes, he definitely looks familiar. I have googled him but I have no freakin’ idea where I know him from. The worst part is that he knows that I don’t know and now he won’t TELL ME!

This was awkward initially yes. And I hope to God that I haven't hurt his feelings. Okay, now it’s just driving me crazy. Not so much because I want to be able to tell people but because I am having a freakin’ “senior moment” and he won’t help me.

So if you see us out and about can you give me a hint who this guy is?

Mirrors

I keep remembering that time…you know the one. You bent me over the side of your bed. You came up from behind me and put your long hard cock inside of my wet pussy. You thrusted just a few times then said “Come over here. I want to watch myself fucking you in the mirror.”

We moved to the other side of the bed. We assumed the position again. This time I looked into the mirror on my left. You were looking at us. You were moving inside of me. Your eyes met mine in the mirror. Then my eyes moved down to you. My eyes moved down to us. I leaned back into you and watched your cock move in and out. You moved effortlessly. It felt good to me. I am not one to look in a mirror. Generally I hate mirrors. I hate what I see when I look at myself. I focused on you.

 I was watching you. Your face was tense in ecstasy. Your cock was moving in and out of me and I could feel you throbbing. Your voice was moaning. It was almost like watching a porno movie, only we were the featured couple.

You said “Touch yourself.” I was so entranced with the mirror that I had completely forgotten to do this. So I reached down and gently began to stroke my clit. I watched the mirror a few more seconds focusing on your hands on my hips. Your eyes closed…your mouth…down again to your cock moving in and out. Then I began to feel it. I felt the pleasure. All of my senses kicked in at once.

I had to look away as my body began to quiver. My nipples began to tingle. I heard my own voice moaning. Your thrusting came faster…harder. Your cock felt as though it was still continuing to grow inside of me. Your hands grabbed my hips harder and I could feel the rest of your body tense as you thrusted deeply one…two…three and seemed to push as hard as you could inside of me before letting out one last loud moan.

I felt the weight of your tired body on top of me for just a moment before you gently lifted me onto the bed and laid me flat on my stomach. Then you lay half next to me half still on top of me kissing my face, stroking the hair around my face with your fingers.

We lay like this, both exhausted and then we fell asleep intertwined.

He Can Reach Me...

Okay I hate to go all “Sex and the City” on you but here goes…it’s just one of my many addictions. Would it surprise any of you that when I took that quiz on Facebook, the character I most resembled was Samantha? The only difference is I am not tall…or blonde…or statuesque. I don’t live in New York and quite frankly I am not “fabulous”. This blog is taking a bad turn.

The point I am trying to make is that I happen to identify with many of the situations in the show only adapted down to my middle class world. I assume a lot of others identify as well otherwise the show would not have been as successful as it was.

The one situation I identify with so much lately is the idea that “he can reach me, but I can NEVER get him.”

Can anybody else identify?

Here, take a look…

Who Knew Selena Gomez Was so Wise

I know…RIGHT?!?!? So before you have me officially committed to an asylum, let me explain. I have a daughter….I know…RIGHT?!?!? SCARY, right? My daughter is into all those Disney whores. As much as I hate it, I have to say there is no way to avoid it. I have a friend who does not have ANY television sets in her house and her daughter is into Justin Beiber so I figure Selena Gomez is the lesser of the two evils.

A while ago I was in the car with all of the kids. It was summer time. We were all happy and on a mission. At any rate we were driving and from the back seat my daughter said “That’s my jam! Turn it up!” Well this made my teenage son who was sitting up front with me laugh so hard that I actually had to pay attention to the song.

It turned out to be a pretty catchy tune and actually sends a positive message. Sometimes when I need a pick-me-up, I listen to it. DON’T JUDGE ME!

Here it is:

SNAP OUT OF IT!!

The other day I had an appointment with the headshrinker. It was a good session, I think. Somehow we started talking about XXX and how he and I still work together. The headshrinker asked how that was going. I told her it was tough at first but now we are back on track. We work and we are friends so we talk. We share secrets. She asked if there was any danger of us starting our affair again. I said “no” without any hesitation and I meant it. She asked why and I told her quite honestly I have had better lovers before XXX and better lovers SINCE XXX. He is not a temptation for me.

She said XXX sounds like a good friend to me. He is with one exception. He is ALWAYS trying to spare my feelings which I hate. If I ask him a direct question and he thinks the answer will hurt he dances around the answer. I hate that and I am always honest with him. I always tell him that his ego is inflated. I tell him when he looks like shit and I remind him on occasion that although sex with him was pleasant at the time, he never made me cum.

So after my headshrinker appointment I actually did work with XXX. He asked how my session went. XXX has been trying to get me to go to a headshrinker for months so he is extremely supportive. Plus he goes to one so I guess it makes him feel better if I go too.

I began to tell XXX what the headshrinker was asking about him. He seemed satisfied with my answers until I got to the question about being in danger of starting our affair again. He winced a little when I told him that one especially when I told him that I told the headshrinker that we are not in ANY danger of starting our affair again.

When I saw the expression on his face change I couldn’t believe it. After all we have been through and this is still a sore spot for him?

So I rephrased the question and said “If I offered myself up for sex, you would say ‘no’, RIGHT?”

XXX just looked at me. He looked confused like I was speaking a foreign language. He looked me directly in the eyes, I am assuming to search for the answer I was looking for. I began to nod my head and say “YES, You would say ‘no’” He mimicked my nodding almost half heartedly then repeated “No, because I am committed to saving my marriage.” The weird thing is he didn’t seem to believe it. What the fuck, XXX?!?! SNAP OUT OF IT!

Then I said “And if you were to offer yourself up for sex I would say ‘NO’” I was a lot more confident when I said this to him.

He still seemed confused and I just don’t understand exactly why. We both agree it was fun while it lasted. We both agree that it ended badly. We both agree that we are happier being friends.

I for one have had better lovers before and after XXX so I have no desire to work like crazy to bring him to orgasm when I have no hope of having one with him. So, I ask you, WHAT THE FUCK?!

What to Do?

I just got a message from Dodger. He is away on a surf vacation with his buddies. His message said he’d be back late Saturday and do I want to get together Sunday? Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.


Now with Dodger I never know if he means “let’s get together for coffee and a little kissing” or “let’s get together and fuck for Christ sake!”

Dodger is VERY laid back in general and specifically when it comes to our relationship moving forward. He knows I get attached to the men I fuck. We talk about it all the time. I am already attached to him. We talk, we text, we chat and we go to lunch. How can you NOT become attached to someone whose company you enjoy? Furthermore, he may be somewhat attached to me. After all, he has been the one initiating lately.

So, of course I cannot reach Dodger to ask “what up?” So I have to ponder and I have to wonder until I hear from him again.

The great thing about Dodger is that I can say to him “Dodger, you KNOW I get attached. WTF?!” Then we will discuss things and I will either agree to fuck him and be done or he will want more. I just never know with Dodger. He is an enigma.

One thing I DO know is that I do adore him. He always makes me feel better. He always makes me laugh. He is an amazing kisser. He is very gentle and romantic. I imagine from kissing him and from the things he has told me that he is that way in bed as well. He talks a lot about intimacy as opposed to just plain “let’s fuck in a hotel room and never meet again.”

So let’s just say he says “Let’s meet at ABC hotel.” And we get there and I start by saying “Dodger, you know I get attached.” I am sure from previous experience with Dodger that he will kiss me on the lips, running his tongue in and out of my mouth. He will begin kissing his way down my neck which absolutely drives me crazy.

He will speak in his very soft tone of voice and say something like “Don’t worry, Baby, things will be fine.” Then he will slowly undress me. He will fondle my breasts and suck on my nipples. I will undress him as well. I have seen his body naked and will not be surprised by the size of his long hard cock.

I will ask Dodger if he wants me to suck his dick unless of course he pushes me down and begins to work his fingers inside of me. Dodger will run his tongue along the folds of my pussy with expertise I am sure. Knowing him, he will also be teasing me all along the way with his actions AND his words. He is an incredible tease yet very protective of my feelings at the same time.

Dodger’s long hard cock will move inside of my wetness. I am sure of that. Just the thought of him inside of me makes me wet.

So now I have something potentially sweet to look forward to this weekend. Dodger always makes me smile, even when he is not even trying.

Back in the Fold

This morning I woke up to a heart outlined in candy bars with a note from my son that said “I love you Mommy. I want you to feel better <3 [kid’s name]”

My kids are all well aware of my sadness. They also know that I have decided to go against everything I believe in by going to a headshrinker to heal myself. I talk to my kids about just about everything. I feel like it’s important to talk to them about this. They are scared. They are afraid that their mother has lost her mind. They are afraid that their parents will get divorced.

Angry guy and I talked about it last night and agreed that divorce is not the way to go. Angry guy by the way is not all that supportive of my going to the headshrinker but he was relieved when I told him that 1. He doesn’t have to go with me and 2. She asked if I wanted to end my marriage or save it and my answer without any hesitation is to save it.

So this morning just like every other Tuesday morning I woke up from an already restless night. Oh, did I mention that I have insomnia? I haven’t had a decent night’s sleep in months. I was doing a little better when XXX and I were together but now I am back to waking up at 1 a.m. then every hour on the hour after that. My point is that it is no sweat for me to wake up at 5 for the gym. This morning I got to the gym and one of my new buddies walked in with me. He is older and retired and constantly complaining about waking up at that hour to exercise.

Now my gym is really difficult to describe. It is not one of those intimidating gyms that are like meat markets, especially at that time in the morning and in the town that I live in. Everybody for the most part knows everybody else. I am one of the few people who did not grow up here so I am recognized by site. In other words people don’t necessarily know my name but they see me every morning so they recognize that I belong and am not just a summer person.

I also get a certain amount of recognition and “gym respect” because the Tuesday/Thursday class used to be taught by that hot young trainer and it was freakin’ HARD! Being one of the regulars in that class scores me some gym points among the regulars.

There is this one couple that I generally can’t stand. They are loud and garish and for the most part act like I don’t exist. You just KNOW that Kitty loves that!

Well, I can’t explain when or why but things have started to change with them. The loud mouth couple is starting to warm up to Kitty. Kitty grew on them like a fungus I think.

When I walked in this morning there was some discussion as to what time class was actually starting. There is a super secret time that the hardcore classes start and Kitty is usually in on it because one of the trainers is my buddy.

So we are waiting and waiting and one by one people started leaving to go into the equipment room until class began. This particular group of people is motivated and they don’t like to waste valuable gym time standing around.

A few minutes later I headed toward the equipment room. This was the first time in a while that nearly all the treadmills were occupied. I spied a few open treadmills but the thing that really made my day was that nearly all the other occupants either smiled or said “hi” to me not to mention a few people on the Stairmaster. There is nothing that brightens Kitty’s morning more than a friendly group of people.

In addition to that the loudmouth woman from the couple said something to me about dropping a suggestion in the suggestion box about class times being earlier. I have to say that this was the first sign of recognition from her EVER. After just a few minutes on the treadmill we all filtered back into the class room for our class. I looked around at all the friendly faces. I looked around and realized I am back in the fold.

Grad Students, Coffee with a Little Lavender Thrown in Part 3

We lay in bed together and for a moment I thought we would both fall asleep. S leaned over and began kissing me again while slipping his fingers in and out of my pussy. He rolled over on top of me still kissing me and began to slide his already hard dick inside me. I immediately lifted my legs up toward his shoulders. He slid in even deeper this way. I moaned right away as did he. I came in no time at all and he continued to thrust until I was ready for round two.

The two of us moved together not speaking but moaning constantly. Every move he made felt heavenly to me. His recovery time was almost immediate. This made me smile as I thought how nice it feels to be with a young man. He went from fucking me gently to being a little rougher in a matter of seconds. In the meantime his dick was inside of me the entire time which felt amazing.

After hours S finally slowed down. I was glad. I was ready for a rest and starting to get a little raw. I refused to be the first one to stop though. This was an opportunity that doesn’t present itself to a woman like me very often if at all.

We lay still entwined him behind me. His finally limp dick slipped out of me and we fell asleep.

A few hours later I woke up. He was between my legs running his tongue along the inside of my thighs stopping just short of my clit. I thought maybe his youth precluded him from knowing this was the ultimate goal. I leaned into his tongue but he continued to tease me. It was then that I realized he knew exactly what he was doing. He continued to tease me until I heard myself begging him to put his dick inside of me. He refused, telling me I had to be patient or he would make me wait longer. I lay whimpering as he worked his tongue up down and all around my clit but never touching it.

Finally he turned me over and climbed on top of me. “Can I fuck your ass?” His tone of voice was soft almost as though he was not sure what my answer would be. I moaned “Yes” in a voice that I did not recognize.

He gently began to work the head of his cock in my ass then gave one strong thrust which made us both say, “Oh my GOD!” I could tell that he was trying to maintain some composure and some control but in only a few strong thrusts he drove his cock into me and I could feel his entire body shaking as he came. I collapsed then he collapsed on top of me giving me a few gentle kisses on my back.

He lay on top of me for just a moment before he rolled me over and finished what he had started only this time letting his tongue reach my clit bringing me to one of the most intense orgasms I have ever had.

Again we rolled over with him spooning me from behind and fell asleep. When I woke again the sun was coming up. S was not in bed with me. He had left a note it said

 “Getting breakfast. Stay in bed. BRB xoxo”.

I dozed off once more before smelling coffee brewing in the kitchen. S was standing at the stove in worn jeans and a flannel shirt cooking up a breakfast for a king. He had sausage working, eggs and pancake batter off to the side. “I wasn’t sure what you like for breakfast,” he said to me. He smiled a warm young smile which made me nearly melt into the kitchen chair.

We sat and ate breakfast together as he told me about a paper that he was writing. I smiled as I listened and finally admitted, “I haven’t the first clue what you are talking about.” He smiled then leaned over and kissed me gently on the lips.

He asked me to stay “just one more day.” It broke my heart to turn him down. As I got into my car he handed me a bag. Inside the bag was a bar of the handmade soap, a box of herbal tea that he swears will help me sleep and a few sprigs of lavender. He had the saddest look on his face as I drove away that afternoon.

We promised to keep in touch and I know we will visit several more times but I always have to be ready for the reality that the next time he will be involved with some other lucky woman.

I only hope to God she can appreciate what a wonderful lover he is turning out to be.