SNAP OUT OF IT!!

The other day I had an appointment with the headshrinker. It was a good session, I think. Somehow we started talking about XXX and how he and I still work together. The headshrinker asked how that was going. I told her it was tough at first but now we are back on track. We work and we are friends so we talk. We share secrets. She asked if there was any danger of us starting our affair again. I said “no” without any hesitation and I meant it. She asked why and I told her quite honestly I have had better lovers before XXX and better lovers SINCE XXX. He is not a temptation for me.

She said XXX sounds like a good friend to me. He is with one exception. He is ALWAYS trying to spare my feelings which I hate. If I ask him a direct question and he thinks the answer will hurt he dances around the answer. I hate that and I am always honest with him. I always tell him that his ego is inflated. I tell him when he looks like shit and I remind him on occasion that although sex with him was pleasant at the time, he never made me cum.

So after my headshrinker appointment I actually did work with XXX. He asked how my session went. XXX has been trying to get me to go to a headshrinker for months so he is extremely supportive. Plus he goes to one so I guess it makes him feel better if I go too.

I began to tell XXX what the headshrinker was asking about him. He seemed satisfied with my answers until I got to the question about being in danger of starting our affair again. He winced a little when I told him that one especially when I told him that I told the headshrinker that we are not in ANY danger of starting our affair again.

When I saw the expression on his face change I couldn’t believe it. After all we have been through and this is still a sore spot for him?

So I rephrased the question and said “If I offered myself up for sex, you would say ‘no’, RIGHT?”

XXX just looked at me. He looked confused like I was speaking a foreign language. He looked me directly in the eyes, I am assuming to search for the answer I was looking for. I began to nod my head and say “YES, You would say ‘no’” He mimicked my nodding almost half heartedly then repeated “No, because I am committed to saving my marriage.” The weird thing is he didn’t seem to believe it. What the fuck, XXX?!?! SNAP OUT OF IT!

Then I said “And if you were to offer yourself up for sex I would say ‘NO’” I was a lot more confident when I said this to him.

He still seemed confused and I just don’t understand exactly why. We both agree it was fun while it lasted. We both agree that it ended badly. We both agree that we are happier being friends.

I for one have had better lovers before and after XXX so I have no desire to work like crazy to bring him to orgasm when I have no hope of having one with him. So, I ask you, WHAT THE FUCK?!