So even though things are great and we are enjoying each other and our long distance relationship I am still seeing the headshrinker and yes, I told the headshrinker all about S.
The thing that I love about my headshrinker is that she doesn’t judge me but she does ask me questions that make me think about shit.
So of course she is going to try to get to the bottom of the whole boy toy thing. Is my issue control? In other words when I was fucking older men they were sometimes condescending and degrading. In a boy toy relationship I have more control…or so she says. Although even my boy toy is very protective and strong in the bedroom which I LOVE.
The whole boy toy thing makes me very uncomfortable in all honesty. For one thing I was always the girl to opt for personality over looks. If there was a guy that could make me laugh, I would pick him over the handsome jock in a heartbeat.
Now even though he doesn’t like to admit it S is stunningly handsome. He also happens to make me laugh and I am sorry but the boy can fuck like no other boy/man I have ever been with. I am convinced that it is the whole nerdy/intellectual thing. I am convinced these fucking guys do their homework because my best lovers have been the nerdiest guys. Sorry S but you are kind of a geek. That happens to be one of the things I love most about you though.Can I tell you also that I am under a certain amount of pressure not only to look my best and lose weight but to perform in bed like a freakin’ acrobat?!?!?! I am killing myself at the gym and I guess I will have to pace before my next encounter with S so I can keep up in light of the fact that he almost killed me the last time. He didn’t REALLY almost kill me but boy did that guy have energy.
I thought the whole point of having a boy toy is for him to serve ME. Also, I thought I was supposed to be the more experienced of the two. My particular boy toy has got it goin’ on and knows as much if not more than me when it comes to sex, positions,fucking…
The one thing that the headshrinker pointed out that I am well aware of is that the day is going to come when my dear, sweet, beautiful, young S falls in love with a girl who is better suited for him. This will obviously lead to S rejecting me which is the crux of my problems.
S and I discuss this. We are not fools. I am learning to take each moment we have together for what it is worth. And when the day comes that S finds that special someone I have promised to step aside and let him go to live his life. But for now S is mine and I am enjoying him to the fullest.