So even though things are great and we are enjoying each other and our long distance relationship I am still seeing the headshrinker and yes, I told the headshrinker all about S.
The thing that I love about my headshrinker is that she doesn’t judge me but she does ask me questions that make me think about shit.
So of course she is going to try to get to the bottom of the whole boy toy thing. Is my issue control? In other words when I was fucking older men they were sometimes condescending and degrading. In a boy toy relationship I have more control…or so she says. Although even my boy toy is very protective and strong in the bedroom which I LOVE.
The whole boy toy thing makes me very uncomfortable in all honesty. For one thing I was always the girl to opt for personality over looks. If there was a guy that could make me laugh, I would pick him over the handsome jock in a heartbeat.
Now even though he doesn’t like to admit it S is stunningly handsome. He also happens to make me laugh and I am sorry but the boy can fuck like no other boy/man I have ever been with. I am convinced that it is the whole nerdy/intellectual thing. I am convinced these fucking guys do their homework because my best lovers have been the nerdiest guys. Sorry S but you are kind of a geek. That happens to be one of the things I love most about you though.
Can I tell you also that I am under a certain amount of pressure not only to look my best and lose weight but to perform in bed like a freakin’ acrobat?!?!?! I am killing myself at the gym and I guess I will have to pace before my next encounter with S so I can keep up in light of the fact that he almost killed me the last time. He didn’t REALLY almost kill me but boy did that guy have energy.I thought the whole point of having a boy toy is for him to serve ME. Also, I thought I was supposed to be the more experienced of the two. My particular boy toy has got it goin’ on and knows as much if not more than me when it comes to sex, positions,fucking…
The one thing that the headshrinker pointed out that I am well aware of is that the day is going to come when my dear, sweet, beautiful, young S falls in love with a girl who is better suited for him. This will obviously lead to S rejecting me which is the crux of my problems.
S and I discuss this. We are not fools. I am learning to take each moment we have together for what it is worth. And when the day comes that S finds that special someone I have promised to step aside and let him go to live his life. But for now S is mine and I am enjoying him to the fullest.
4 comments:
Who are you kidding? You have no problem keeping up. xoxo
if a 'long term relationshipo" is NOT the goal, waht's the problem? Sure, if you were looking for someone to settle down with and raise a family, the boy toy situation might be problematic, but as lon as expectations are clear and emotions are discussed, what's the harm in letting it rip with a new guy who pleases you in bed? The ages mean nothing.
I agree Ad, and yes, we have discussed all of this. I have to say that of all the men I have come across lately, S is the youngest by far and the only one out of ALL of THEM that SAYS WHAT HE MEANS AND MEANS WHAT HE SAYS!!!!
JEEZ-US! That's all I ever asked from any of these guys and it just seems like the older they are the less they are willing to do that. I really don't understand the point. If they think they are sparing my feelings by just dropping out of site or making up a stupid lie then they are wrong.
Mark my words, when it is time to part S and I will part gracefully. I know it.
Communication is the key baby.
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