Fucking XXX…Again

This morning Kitty woke up and I felt FRISKY! I was due to work with XXX in the afternoon and figured since we were going into the New Year’s weekend he would be grumpy so I decided to wear something sexy. I thought this might lift his spirits. So I wore the tight blouse that Angry Guy says makes my breasts look good, black leggings and knee high black boots. I also wore my black bra and panties because with XXX you just never know. My only regret was that I didn’t have time to paint my nails red. I am not sure if guys find red nails sexy but I always feel like if my feet are going to be up by guy’s ears they should at least look nice.

Chances of things with XXX moving that quickly are slim to none anyway so I didn’t stress too much about the nails.

I got into the office before he did but Big Cheese ran into him and made a point of telling me that he looked “haggard”. Now I know what I am about to say is going to seem manipulative but that “haggard” look could possibly be good for Kitty so I can’t say that I was sorry to hear that news and I was looking forward to going into his office to “brighten his day”.

In the past on those “haggard” days Kitty would get an email or a text requesting putting our “alternative project” in action which was code for meeting him back at his place at lunch time.

Today however he was beside himself which is well beyond haggard and not good at all for Kitty…or his assistant apparently. The final die was cast and it is official that he will not be moving back into his house anytime soon. He made a point of announcing it publically to all of us this afternoon which was borderline inappropriate office behavior even by my standards. Oh, Kitty tried to smooth things over but the fact that it was the Friday before New Year’s just made it impossible so I decided to let him vent and hope that 1. His cunt wife at least play nice for the weekend or 2. He calm down and maybe consider talking things through with Kitty on Monday.

I have to work on Monday even though nobody else will be and XXX has already warned me that if things don’t go well over the weekend he will be working too. I DO want things to go well for him but if he is in on Monday at the very least we can have a conversation without being monitored by his assistants.

So Kitty has been tossing the idea of getting back together with XXX and yes, it is premature but Kitty needs to be on my toes with him. He is a hunter which I love but when and if he comes to me he will want to fuck right then and there so I better be ready. Also, I never discussed the “scare” with him so I have to give the whole condom issue more thought.

Aside from that there are some good things that can come out of getting back together with XXX.

1.     I know what he likes in bed and he has made it clear on several occasions that I more than satisfy his desires. I am pretty comfortable now working with XXX on making the sex better. He is well aware that other men satisfied me since him and XXX being a goal oriented man will want to achieve the same so I can see us concentrating a little more on my needs to get me where I need to be.

2.     Kitty has the upper hand to some degree this time around. Now don’t get all crazy about that expression. Kitty is not one to take advantage. All I mean is that this time around I am confident that I can create more distance between XXX and me in that I won’t need to text him or call him when I don’t see him. Kitty is more secure than I was the first time around with XXX.

3.     After fucking all the jerks I have fucked since XXX it has become apparent what a GEM he really is. I know it is difficult to portray his personality especially if you read my angry posts when we split up but the thing that makes XXX better than the rest and better than I portrayed him is that he did and consistently DOES make a point of trying to create peaceful closure to our affair. The problem at the time wasn’t that he was sneaking around or ignoring me or anything. The problem was that I flew off the handle before he had the chance to tell me anything. XXX was always all about sparing my feelings to a fault. I guessed what was happening and immediately went ballistic. If XXX had it his way he would have sat me down in a private place and tried to explain things calmly. I don’t see how that would have been any better but things happened for a reason and “we made it through the rain” as Barry Manilow would say.

4.     As far as working together if we reunite. I don’t see that as a problem really. We’ve done it before and we’ve been doing it since.

Now Kitty is not stupid and yes I know that there will always be issues between XXX and I. XXX and I love each other but will never be together as a married couple. We both realize that and that may be a good thing. But there are definitely things that would not be good about getting back together with XXX.

1.     As awful as she is, XXX will always love his wife more than anything. Now Kitty is not trying to be XXX’s wife but it is totally annoying how much he idolizes her even though she tramples on his heart consistently. I am not sure why the hell after over 2 years she decided to take him back but I don’t want to have my relationship with XXX based upon her fucking whim.

2.     Kitty would be much more assertive about telling XXX what things bother me in the way of conversation. Kitty wanted to be that lover that XXX could talk to about anything. I wanted him to feel free to discuss his girlfriends, his wife…whatever. And I still do want to be that for him. But I think we may have to have a sexy time rule where there is no talking about his wife or his girlfriends while he is inside me or on top of me without any clothing. That seems like a fair request to me don’t you think? I am sure XXX won’t have an issue with this. We have touched upon the issue recently and believe me when I tell you that like an idiot I was the one who encouraged him but I will have to stop that.

3.     We are also going to have to stop discussing “When it’s over”. That was a regular topic between us as we both tried to be realistic about our affair and our love for each other not having a fairytale ending. That discussion is a party killer and I just won’t have it this time around.

Other than that I think I could probably get used to gazing into XXX’s crystal blue eyes in his kitchen as he gives me that first warm kiss of the afternoon. I can fall back in the habit of walking up to his bedroom behind him as he holds my hand. I will have no problem feeling his warm naked body next to mine moving with his rock hard cock inside of me. I can get used to him calling out my name again and again. These things won’t be difficult to fall back into with XXX. I know that XXX is making the same list. That we have in common. In fact I think I saw it on his desk today but before he comes to me XXX will have to come to the conclusion on his own. I believe he will. He’s hurting now and I am hoping the weekend is not too hard on him. I have already shared my concern for his mental and physical health over this. I can be there for XXX at some point but there are some things that he has to deal with on his own first.

So for now Kitty has to wait.