Kitty is trying really hard to be a good kitty…a “different” kitty. Mainly I am being myself because basically I am a good person. I am trying to show XXX that I have
changed grown and that we can go back to our playtime without any repercussions.
OF COURSE I realize that I am just kidding myself. But a kitty can TRY can’t she? There are times when XXX and I are working or having a conversation and things are just great. I think to myself “We can do this. We can make this work.” XXX is always blushing and is always just a little uncomfortable at first but within a few minutes he is back at ease. So for the most part things are good.
Then there is the occasional incident when Kitty feels rejected or lonely and I look to XXX for comfort and when he doesn’t respond the way I want him to I revert back to my insecure ways. Kitty really has to work on that…and I am.
Last night XXX and I were texting. I was bored and he was drinking which is never a good combination. We texted back and forth and played for a little bit. He had just had a text fight with his wife so I was trying to make him laugh via text which is nearly impossible.
In some ways texting is a valuable tool in others it is a dangerous weapon. To make a long story short the drunker XXX got the worse the text conversation went. We ended the conversation with me telling him that I am worried about him and that I love him. Then he said he was wasted and we had to talk in person in the morning. So you see things really haven’t changed very much around here. I didn’t get any sleep at all last night…not that it is a new thing.
I began thinking about the sex between XXX and me. It was good as I remember it although when things went south I told myself and you all that it wasn’t. My main issue in bed with XXX was that I concentrated so hard on trying to take care of his needs and help him cum that my own orgasm went by the wayside. This morning I sit here wondering if that would change the second time around. Maybe not. Kitty can’t help but be a people pleaser, particularly in bed. That in itself is a turn on for Kitty I suppose.
This morning I texted XXX that I was sorry about the whole thing and don’t want to make him feel uncomfortable and certainly don’t want to create drama. That is just one thing that makes XXX different from the other lovers I have had. We don’t play games. If he wants to say something he is more careful for the sake of hurting my feelings but in the long run we say what we want to say to each other.
We will always be friends XXX and I. The question remains, will be return to being lovers?