Thursday, January 5, 2012

Scarlet Letter Kitty

Kitty has all sorts of friends trying to keep me out of trouble lately. It’s like they are on some sort of “Save Kitty’s Soul” campaign. I don’t know what that’s about but I do love my friends for trying at least. They see something in me. They feel like my soul is worth saving. Kitty is a kind person and would not intentionally hurt another living soul. I know I will find my way.

So one of Kitty’s friends is my gym buddy. The other day we went to the gym. Now when Kitty goes to the gym I never worry about how I look. When Kitty is with my friend nobody and I mean NOBODY looks at Kitty because they are too busy looking at my friend who is a very slim blonde with implants. So Blondie and I were at the gym “working out”. She was lifting weights and Kitty was pretending to exercise. I was lying on the floor next to Blondie talking with her. I began doing pelvic thrusts not really paying attention. Blondie was talking to Muscle Man who seems to ADORE Blondie almost as much as he adores himself. Suddenly I realize that Muscle Man was glaring at me as I did my thrusts. This made Kitty a little uncomfortable. We had a quick exchange then Muscle Man left.

Today I was in class. Blondie was teaching the class. I was planking on my mat like a good Kitty. At 6:00 a.m. Kitty doesn’t talk to ANYBODY so I was minding my own business. Suddenly Muscle Man comes into class and sets his mat up right next to me. This is strange only because Kitty was in the front of the room and Muscle Man generally sets up in the back…with his WIFE.

Muscle Man got into his plank and began talking to me. Meanwhile I am thinking “Dude, get away from me. If your wife sees this she is going to gut me like one of the Seven freakin’ fishes on Christmas Eve!” Muscle Man would not quit. He was starting to draw attention to us which is not good. Keep in mind that both of us KNOW everybody in the class. We live in a teeny tiny community so this shit is not cool.

Once class ended Kitty gathered my things and began to walk out. Wouldn’t you know that Muscle Man followed close behind? Where the hell was this guy’s wife?!?!?! I glanced back to make sure that he wasn’t going to step on me from behind when he said “Hey, we should hook-up sometime.”

I had to stop. As soon as I did I knew it was wrong but I said “what?”

He looked at me again and smiled a crooked smile and repeated “We should hook-up…you know…”

Now here is the thing about Muscle Man that intrigues me. Muscle Man is a “hunter” and Kitty LOVES “hunters”. Now when I say “hunter” I mean there are certain men out there that are forceful and let it be known what they want in and out of bed. That is EXACTLY what Kitty needs. That is EXACTLY what Kitty craves.

Kitty loves a man who knows what he wants. I love a man who takes charge and stakes a claim on Kitty. I love a man who makes the plan and says “BE THERE”. Most importantly I love a man who takes charge in bed and tells Kitty what to do. I am in charge all day long everyday so there is nothing nicer than someone else taking the lead.

Sadly, even though Muscle Man is exactly what the doctor ordered he is obviously not what I would consider “discrete”. I am not kidding when I say that his wife would gut me like a fish. She is WAY scary to me.

Well in the meantime Kitty is just going to have to pass on Muscle Man’s very kind offer.


Same sassy girl said...

Wow! He is shameless... I don't know how you can resist such a poetic offer. ;)

H said...

maybe you should set the boundaries and hook up with muscle man..... having been in muscle mans position throw the man a bone

Naughty Kitty said...

I might reconsider if he offered to train me. Sassy, we are not talking about a bunch of intellectuals here.