Sunday, February 5, 2012

Cruel Guy

He’s the kind of guy that will get hard as soon as he realizes this post is about him although I doubt he still reads my blog. Oh, he USED to read it faithfully each and every day. He found me on Ashley Madison and hunted for me. I was turned off initially by his pictures and the tone in his emails. I should have gone with my initial instincts.
He emailed me nearly every day. First to get together then to comment on my blog. He offered me guest posts. He knew every detail about my life as it was happening and I knew nothing of his. The thing that made him cruel was how he took advantage of my vulnerability after XXX broke my heart. He promised he’d make me forget all about XXX. He most certainly did that. Then he took what was left of my heart and my self esteem and crushed them in his hand.  I should have gone with my initial instincts.

He convinced me to finally meet him even though I cancelled on several occasions.
He coached me on how to act and how to dress when in XXX’s presence. He texted me and emailed me initially once a day then several times a day. We finally met in person and I let him in. His personality in person seemed genuine. He seemed sincere. I let my guard down. I should have gone with my initial instincts.
We agreed to meet again. We agreed to meet in a more intimate setting. He said he was looking for something long term. He said he was looking for something exclusive...with me.  I wanted everything to be perfect. I wanted to be perfect for him. I should have gone with my initial instincts.

When the day finally arrived we met in the agreed upon hotel room. Although the sex was good he was different somehow. His personality. He was cold, distant. He said things like “Are you SURE you are going to be able to do this without becoming emotionally attached?” Keep in mind he said this as he was thrusting into me. He then made me repeat that I could as he continued to fuck me.

He asked how long it had been since I was "fucked real good". He asked in a taunting way reminding me that my husband no longer has any interest in me. He started a conversation about me pleasuring myself. He asked me to touch myself and asked if this is what I do while I lie next to my husband. The husband who wants nothing to do with my naked body. He enjoyed reminding me of that. Each time he said it was like a knife in my heart.

He asked “So are you going to fuck me again?” What he was getting at was would I meet him again? He made me say it but he never had any intention of seeing me again. He wanted to make sure I wanted him. He built me up for the sake of crushing me for no other reason than to know that he could. I should have gone with my initial instincts.

He asked if this was the best sex I ever had...if he had the biggest cock yet offered nothing positive in return.
And of course he wanted to know if I was going to write about him in my blog. “Yes,” I told him.  He said he likes to read about his cock.

I never saw him again and although we texted back and forth a little bit he immediately turned a cold shoulder and threw me away like yesterday’s trash. He wanted to meet in person to end things formally I think. He wanted to meet in a public place, the place where we first met so that he could tell me in his condescending manner that it is over. I am sure he had some sort of contract for me to abide by to assure that I would not ever come back to haunt him. Once I assured him that I wouldn't I never heard from him again. I am sure it gave him great pleasure to know that he hurt me and I am sure he has long forgotten me. I should have gone with my initial instincts.

My friend told me that I should use his name in the blog so that other women don't have to go through what I went through. This strikes me as funny since her husband is a man of the cloth. I told her that I would never do that although I hope that other women out there are not as desperate and foolish as I was. I hope that other women are not stupid enough to fall for his charm lines bullshit. Kitty never knew until that point that men could be so cruel.


Same sassy girl said...

I try to look for the silver lining in every experience, but I got nothin' except an extra crispy bucket of sympathy and a big hug.

Naughty Kitty said...

Thanks sassy. I guess the silver lining would be all the love and support that I got from my friends. I learner a lot from my headshrinker and am closer with Xxx than ever.

1manview said...

Cruelty falls on both side s of the fence. Just ask any friendly guy that settle for second place, which is actually last. Been there, done that... And we all know about that I should have gone with my initial instincts.
Easy to say after the fact. But "what if", always win when we are searching for that something, which leads us back to, I should have gone with my initial instincts.

Luna Moon said...

I don't understand how some guys can be such a-holes. This guy's need for you to affirm his "manhood" speaks volumes, though. I'm so sorry you went through this.

Naughty Kitty said...

Thank you Luna. I think more than anything else this is a testament to the men from my past. The fact that I am closing in on 50 years old and have been surrounded for the most part with men who have treated me well is really something to be thankful for. This one man shook my confidence but all the others that surround me and will continue to surround me will help to build me back up.

Spirit said...

I do wonder what some people have been through, or what rubbish they were told as a kid that put it into their heads that it is ok to treat other people in such a disgusting way.

But when we go through this and our friends pull together to get you through also shows you just how amazing people can be at the same time. Big hugs to you sweetheart, I've been through it too.

Naughty Kitty said...

I had a really difficult time expressing my vulnerability after the whole thing with XXX. Cruel guy was emailing me night and day coaching me and "supporting" me through the whole thing. He knew how hurt I was. He KNEW how low I was and for a short time I believed in him. He made me believe that we could have this wonderful secret life together. If he were just some random guy I could probably let it go. I am alot to handle for your average man I know that. But Cruel Guy was educated, older, more experienced and a high powered executive. He knew what he was doing. I was the dumb one here. I do not mean to make myself out as a victim really. I just let my guard down. Whenever I do that I get into trouble.

Mr. Dryden said...

Um yeah, that guy is just a dick. Wow.

I'm sorry that was your experience. Some people don't know how to be human, and many in the affair community (such as this guy) general have a hard time figuring out how to make themselves happy. They get so locked into the sex that they forget they're dealing with another person.

I'd say that at least half of the women on AM I've chatted with have been this way towards me. I'm like "you treat me like an asshole and you want me to fuck you? Sorry love, I'm not that desperate.".

Anyway, sorry to hear that... I know what those ice picks to the heart feel like. Forget him, take notes, and move on. Someone better will come your way. :)

SexEsq said...

Kitty, I want you to fuck the hell out of me. Im serious.

Naughty Kitty said...

Esq. You ARE a charmer. But you know Kitty doesn't ever find myself in your neck of the woods. Plus Esq, Kitty is too old for you.

both.hands.please said...

Sounds to me Kitty that this 'man' has some rather epic security issues. He's just a wanker on a power trip. Which is no excuse for treating a woman like that though.
What I am glad to hear is that you have other genuine man-folk in your life to re-assure you that we aren't all like that.. Theres hope for us all.
The sooner he's banished from your thoughts, the better.
I wish you well.

Naughty Kitty said...

Thanks Both Hands. I am starting to think maybe it is the men from this region. The interesting thing to me is that these men are rejected by their wives and some by other Ashley Madison women and yet they are under the impression that they are too good for Kitty. Can I just tell you that although Kitty is not the youngest, most beautiful or thinest I am a highly educated woman with a stellar personality and sense of humor not to mention the fact that I have never received a complaint on my bedroom skills.

So I say to all of these East Coast men that have rejected me "You don't deserve Kitty" Shame on all of you.