I always seem to get myself into the same situations with men. I am not sure exactly how and where I go wrong but it is always the same. I thought this AM thing would give me the opportunity to toughen up a little bit since I can be awfully sensitive.
The concept of AM is mind boggling to me. First of all I am a “rules” person. I need boundaries and AM is all about jumping over that line…the line of fidelity that is.
So as I fall deeper and deeper into the black hole I am realizing that there are in fact rules to this AM thing. Here is what I came up with so far.
1. Husbands/wives and children come first. Pretty much everybody I have chatted with agrees that we are not going to interfere with each other’s families. I certainly am not looking for drama of any kind so this is one rule I can live by.
2. You are not to fall in love! Now this is an interesting one for me. Love is one of my weaknesses. My instinct is to love and want to be loved back but let’s face it this is an impossibility which leads to rule #3.
3. Don’t ask, don’t tell. Sure I am dying to know if these guys are chatting and/or fucking other women but what’s the point of asking. If they say “no” they are probably lying and if they say “yes” my feelings will be hurt. In the same vein, I don’t want to hurt anybody’s feelings but don’t see the being exclusive thing working either because then the “love” issue occurs and I just do not want to fall in love with someone who will not love me.
It’s funny actually. I read a few chats that I got involved in. They all started out very friendly. I used expressions like “no strings” and “You owe me nothing” and I meant them. So why after a few chats or one afternoon of fucking does that change? It doesn’t and it can’t.
4. Don’t expect anything from the guy/gal you fuck once it finally happens. You can’t expect gifts for sure! A few guys told me that women expect them to take them shopping. I know I might be missing something here but what the fuck?! I can BUY shit. It’s the weight of a man on top of me that I am looking for.
5. Don’t go out of your way for the other person. If you do you will regret it. Believe me men are asking me to meet them in all sorts of different places and while I am tempted to make that trip an hour away in the end what’s the point. I was feeling guilty about having these guys come down here if they want to meet but ultimately if I am going to get dumped I will feel less humiliated if I get to choose the location and besides like Marcus said I make it worth their while.
6. Don’t expect the guy/gal to contact you once you fuck. Kittycat learned that the hard way. It’s a good lesson to learn. It’s sort of like high school when your boyfriend pursues you and begs you to put out and then when you finally do he dumps you. The beauty of AM is that there’s always another loser there to break your heart if you let them.
So, ladies and gentlemen, it’s a tough world out there especially on Ashley Madison so please be safe.