Saturday, September 3, 2011

Rules of Engagement

I always seem to get myself into the same situations with men. I am not sure exactly how and where I go wrong but it is always the same. I thought this AM thing would give me the opportunity to toughen up a little bit since I can be awfully sensitive.

The concept of AM is mind boggling to me. First of all I am a “rules” person. I need boundaries and AM is all about jumping over that line…the line of fidelity that is.

So as I fall deeper and deeper into the black hole I am realizing that there are in fact rules to this AM thing. Here is what I came up with so far.

1.       Husbands/wives and children come first. Pretty much everybody I have chatted with agrees that we are not going to interfere with each other’s families. I certainly am not looking for drama of any kind so this is one rule I can live by.

2.       You are not to fall in love! Now this is an interesting one for me. Love is one of my weaknesses. My instinct is to love and want to be loved back but let’s face it this is an impossibility which leads to rule #3.

3.       Don’t ask, don’t tell. Sure I am dying to know if these guys are chatting and/or fucking other women but what’s the point of asking. If they say “no” they are probably lying and if they say “yes” my feelings will be hurt. In the same vein, I don’t want to hurt anybody’s feelings but don’t see the being exclusive thing working either because then the “love” issue occurs and I just do not want to fall in love with someone who will not love me.

It’s funny actually. I read a few chats that I got involved in. They all started out very friendly. I used expressions like “no strings” and “You owe me nothing” and I meant them. So why after a few chats or one afternoon of fucking does that change? It doesn’t and it can’t.

4.       Don’t expect anything from the guy/gal you fuck once it finally happens. You can’t expect gifts for sure! A few guys told me that women expect them to take them shopping. I know I might be missing something here but what the fuck?! I can BUY shit. It’s the weight of a man on top of me that I am looking for.

5.       Don’t go out of your way for the other person. If you do you will regret it. Believe me men are asking me to meet them in all sorts of different places and while I am tempted to make that trip an hour away in the end what’s the point. I was feeling guilty about having these guys come down here if they want to meet but ultimately if I am going to get dumped I will feel less humiliated if I get to choose the location and besides like Marcus said I make it worth their while.

6.       Don’t expect the guy/gal to contact you once you fuck. Kittycat learned that the hard way. It’s a good lesson to learn. It’s sort of like high school when your boyfriend pursues you and begs you to put out and then when you finally do he dumps you. The beauty of AM is that there’s always another loser there to break your heart if you let them.

So, ladies and gentlemen, it’s a tough world out there especially on Ashley Madison so please be safe.


Ryan Beaumont said...

My rule is no matter what make sure I'm having fun. If it's work or I'm not having fun - stop.

Rule #2: Always be respectful, don't make someone else suffer for my pursuit of rule #1.

Rule #3 - don't do anything that would embarrass my kids if I was ever caught.

Otherwise your rules are very good.

Naughty Kitty said...

Thanks Ryan. But I embarass my kids 24/7. I am sure they would be embarassed by all of this.

P.S. Love your blog ;)

-McK said...

hello naughty kitty/jerzey girl-i just found your blog via prowling with kat so i am going back and reading from the beginning, literally. The reason I decided to subscribe and go back to the start is because as I was reading some of your Ashley Madison tagged posts...they could have been written by me! I haven't been able to find your profile yet but much of what you have said about yourself, your (then) husband Angry Guy and flying under the radar sexually is me. Then there is the attachment and feelings and such. I have a blog but I haven't published it just yet. I am setting it up so that some pages will already be finished such as my information, why i pole vaulted over the line i never thought i would etc. It's new for me (as in April 2012) and I know I can't go back. I am eagerly reading through your blog as time and work and family allows. I have some rules of engagement as well and they are definitely born out of my involvement with "Tom" my first from AM and the one I would forsake all others for. Thank you for sharing your blog, I can't wait to get current...~McK

Naughty Kitty said...

Wow! Thanks so much for taking the time to read all this. The early days was some of my best writing. I hope you enjoy it.