The Blindside

One of Kitty’s biggest flaws is that I am FAR too trusting. See, Kitty doesn’t lie and so I assume those around me don’t either. Oh I know this is naive especially in light of this lifestyle which is almost entirely based on lying and cheating.

So, okay…yes…I lie and cheat on the Angry Man but as far as my lovers are concerned I am truthful and loyal…too much so. There is a point in my relationship with these men where they have decided to move on but have not informed me. That’s the part that hurts. The minute that I realize what has happened which is generally days if not weeks after they have already left me emotionally. It’s a blindside for me.

These men have all sorts of creative ways of leaving my life. Some completely cut off communication and drop off the face of the earth while others seem to linger and leave Kitty more gradually. They all leave though…don’t they?

When I was blindsided by my latest lover it felt like a slap in the face. We had been going along. He was busy with work. He was busy with family. I sat by dutifully and waited…and waited…and waited. We communicated throughout. He sent me emails and texts and chats. It was nice but I was getting impatient. When was it my turn to get some real live attention from him? And yet I waited…and waited…and waited.

My platonic male friends all told me that I was crazy to wait. They told me that if he really wanted me he would make time no matter what. They told me no more than 2 weeks should go by and even then there should be some communication…a date to look forward to. But Kitty believed and even after 4 weeks had gone by since we had our afternoon together, Kitty waited…and waited…and waited.

Finally I got an email from him. Among other things he mentioned something about his wife offering sex. WAIT! Stop right there! Of course there was no rush on his part to meet ME. HE WAS GETTING LAID!! Now in his defense he did tell me upfront that he and his wife still have sex on a regular basis. At the time I figured there was enough of him to go around but now I see I was wrong. Okay, I mentioned this to him and he assured me that sex with her was as he put it “plain chocolate” but with me was “Rocky Road”. Oh yes, he can be quite the charmer. I accepted that explanation and continued waiting….and waiting…and waiting.

The other night he and I were chatting. We were talking about how busy he was again. I kept waiting for him to say something about it being my turn. I kept waiting for him to say “Let’s set up some playtime this week, Kitty.” But he didn’t in fact he went on to tell me that he was going to be taking a few days out of town to go and visit a friend of his. Okay so now Kitty is beginning to understand…now Kitty is beginning to see the light.

So he can make time in his busy schedule to go visit friends for a few DAYS but he can’t make time in his busy schedule to play with Kitty for a few HOURS. SLAP!!!! SLAP!!!! SLAP!!!!

And that my friends is what Kitty calls “A Moment of Truth” a “Revelation” and a “Blindside”.

Jiminy Cricket

Kitty cannot for the life of me figure out why so many people want to “Save” me. I mean I have a lot of friends and it warms my heart how wonderful they are. I love them all. I tell them I love them. These are mainly my “REAL LIFE” friends. My cyber friends are pretty awesome too but I have met some friends lately that just want to save Kitty from a life of infidelity…I think.

My new friend Jiminy Cricket began commenting on my blog and I am not sure why but we began emailing back and forth. Now Jiminy is one of the few people who has actually said to me “Kitty, this guy is not going to call” or “Kitty, he’s not right for you”. Mainly though Jiminy tries in his subtle way to gear me back on track…back toward my life with Angry Guy. Now Jiminy is not alone. You all know that XXX vowed to save my soul a few weeks ago and there are many others that don’t necessarily know what Kitty is up to but they know Kitty needs saving.

Jiminy and I will never meet in person. He lives CLEAR across the country. But I have to say that his is a pretty good cyber buddy although he may be angry when he reads this because I know he doesn't want to be the subject of my blogs.

I do want to thank Jiminy though. The other night I was distressed. I truly had nobody to go to. I tend to write blog after blog when I feel this way. I shot out an email to Jiminy knowing full well that he was on the road heading east to be with his family for the holidays. Wouldn't you know that after a 20 hour drive and after not having seen his family in months, Jiminy took the time to email me just a short email to tell me that I am not alone. He read one of my sad and sorry blogs and gave me some kind words to help me see the light. Help me see that I am better than to let myself be treated badly.

For this I will always be grateful. Thank you Jiminy for believing that a Naughty Kitty like me has something inside worth saving.

Kitty Needs Advice

This morning XXX and I were emailing back and forth. He seemed like he was in a pretty good mood. He was the only one working in the office so we were going back and forth about how the others were “weak” for not working during the holiday week. So of course XXX emailed me and asked how my holiday went. I decided to just tell him what he wanted to hear because I could not deal with his general condescending attitude so I said “Great how was yours?” There was no response and yet we exchanged a few more emails so I repeated “HOW WAS YOUR HOLIDAY”???

My logic was that I knew for sure that this being the first Christmas in his reconciled marital state that XXX would be downright giddy and possibly too much for me to handle without throwing up so I decided to try to get it out of him in an email. Well wouldn’t you know that there is trouble in paradise. XXX began to tell me that she was starting to revert back to her cold self. The wife that he used to refer to as his “Cunt wife” was resurfacing. I jokingly told XXX to hold onto his apartment which he was due to move out of at the end of January. I told him jokingly that I would split the cost with him. We exchanged a few more emails then I stopped by his office on my way out.

We talked about what transpired over the holiday in his house then we began talking about what is going to happen there. He mentioned the possibility of keeping his place and staying married but taking on a mistress. He also mentioned that if his wife had not approached him about reconciling back in October, he and I would probably still be together.
Then XXX began asking me about my situation. I mentioned that I was turning over a new leaf which surprised him for some reason. We discussed the fact that I am not cut out for the Ashley Madison lifestyle and somehow XXX managed to describe what I need in a relationship which is exactly what I have been saying. He said “Kitty, what you need is a regular schedule with someone. Someone you can count on.” He then compared me to the mistress of the French Prime Minister who had the same mistress for 30 years or something. I reiterated what XXX said and confessed that our love affair was as close to what I am looking for as I have gotten.

We have come a long way XXX and I. There were some wonderful things about our affair but when it ended I was devastated. I wonder if since XXX and I have already discussed these things if we tried again if we COULD make it work again. He admits he is still sexually attracted to me. I myself have had my friend hat on lately but I am sure it wouldn’t take long to get back to being XXX’s Naughty Kitty. We would of course work on the orgasm but I think I could relax this time. Although I am sure he would go back to drinking which was not good for his own orgasm. And what about when things end this time around? Could I recover quicker having been through it? You may remember my writing that I wanted to have my pussy sewn shut if I ever considered going back to XXX and yet…

I am asking the question you have all been waiting for…IF XXX offered up that affair once again would I, SHOULD I take him up on it????

Holiday Greetings From Bad Boy

This morning I received an email from an old friend “Bad Boy”. Bad Boy for those of you who don’t know is the boy in high school that taught me all about blow jobs. He is also to date the only boy/man that I ever was with where I swallowed. God I love being friends with Bad Boy. He has gone to extremes to keep in touch over the years. He has grown into a wonderful man it seems.

And while his holiday greeting email warmed my heart, it also made me sad. It made me think back to the last time Bad Boy and I talked on the phone which was well before my Ashley Madison days and well before my secret blog.

I just sent him the link to my blog and am curious what his reaction will be. Bad Boy is never judgmental so that is not my concern. If Bad Boy didn’t live clear across the country I probably would have more” personal” contact with him.

I am not sure what I am hoping to gain by sending him the link to this blog. Bad Boy may be the one man that can guide me toward the light. He knows me. He knows the REAL Kitty. He knows that scared little girl that wants to break free but whose heart is so fragile. He has held my heart in his hands for a brief period of time. He could have taken advantage of a very young, very fragile Kitty when I was just a kitten and he didn’t. For that I will always be grateful.

And so, I wait to hear what Bad Boy thinks about what has been going on. And more importantly, I wait to hear what the first man I have ever been with thinks I should do.

Hunting For Kitty

It may shock some of you to know that in my everyday life I am quite a little firecracker. Some may say I am downright obnoxious overpowering aggressive. I can’t help it. I am a Type A. There was a point in my life when I was on a heavy duty career path. I gave it all up to start a family but that fire still burns inside of me. In my day to day life I am myself and not too far from the Naughty Kitty you all know and love. I do have to tone it down just a little bit in the work place for fear of being sued for sexual harassment or inappropriate behavior. Don’t forget, XXX’s little assistant is always monitoring me. I was especially naughty today with XXX. You know he has been stressing over B.J. and of course I walked in this morning to yet another email from XXX asking if I could come by in the afternoon for a meeting with B.J. This was really starting to piss me off. XXX and I went back and forth with our emails a few times and he finally wrote something like “I just want to make sure B.J. has everything he needs.” To which my response was “Don’t worry. I will make sure B.J. has a ‘happy ending’.” Now I KNOW that was juvenile and I KNOW XXX’s helper probably had a field day with her law books over the comment but I was really bored in Big Cheese’s office and really cranky and really wanted to PLAY!

So once again we have gotten off track. The point I am trying to make and have mentioned more than a few times is that because I am practically a man in all other aspects of my life, I want someone in my life that is going to want me and let me know it. I want a “HUNTER”…a man who is stronger than me and lets me know he is in charge. When I open my email in the morning I want to get an email like this…

My sexy wet Kitty, with the holidays and current family issues, meeting you for playtime is not possible for the next two weeks. I'd like to try and meet sometime during the first week of the New Year. We should keep in contact and schedule a playtime date. I wish I could feel your hot, sexy body next to me, right now! I want to kiss you all over, run my hands up and down your body, and feel my hard cock slide in and out of your wonderful wetness. Looking forward to spending hours with you!

Unfortunately Kitty received that email from a platonic friend who was trying to make a point. He was trying to tell Kitty that even if a lover is tied up with family obligations and holiday festivities, he can let me know in no uncertain terms that he wants me with an email like that. Also setting a date gives Kitty something to look forward to.

In the meantime that email made Kitty wet. Damn my platonic friend for making me wet. That’s just not fair.

If Only For a Moment

When you choose to have an adulterous affair, as the woman, you immediately put yourself at the bottom of the food chain.

You put yourself under your lover’s children, under his wife, under his parents and siblings and even under his first ex wife. As the mistress or other woman, you demoralize yourself and punish yourself consciously and subconsciously.

What’s worse is that as the other woman, you put your lover first. Above everybody and everything in your life. You jeopardize your marriage, your family, your friends and your job. He jeopardizes nothing and you jeopardize everything for a few moments, a few hours of pleasure.

Perhaps it is because for those few brief visits, when everything is fresh and new and exciting, you are two people completely satisfying each other’s needs and nobody else’s. For those brief moments, I am not a wife. I am not a mother. I am not a daughter. I am not a friend and I am not a professional. I am a woman. I am giving a secret part of myself to another partner. I am getting the same from him at the same exact time.

There are very few instances when two people are in sync like this. An affair almost forces you to stop, look around and let your senses completely engulf every smell, sound and sight.

I am willing to tolerate things from him that I never would tolerate from any other man in my life.

But does a woman like me deserve that? Don’t I deserve to be put first? EVER? I DO! Yes, I deserve to be put first by SOMEBODY. Perhaps that person has not found me yet. We have not found each other.

I always tell my kids that there is no need for them to be selfish because I am always looking out for them first. My wish for the New Year is that someone will agree that it’s my turn. It’s Naughty Kitty’s turn to be put first if only for a moment.

Heart to Heart

I just had a “heart to heart” with my oldest son. See, when I was going to the headshrinker she mentioned that sometimes guilt triggers the kind of depression that I was experiencing. She also connected it somewhat with my son going off to college.

I began to tell her about the guilt I felt over his childhood. I have so many regrets. I feel so much guilt. I feel guilt over all sorts of things. I feel guilty for every time I yelled at him. Every time I raised my voice. I feel guilty for all the times I fussed over occasions at school functions when his father was attending. I feel guilty about putting that on him. I feel guilty for every class party every school trip and every sporting event that I missed. I just feel guilty in general for any discomfort that my sweet little boy ever had to endure. I wanted all of my children to have the fairy tale upbringing that I did and that is not at all what is going on here. I can’t protect them the way my parents protected me. Why?

Oh my kids have good lives. Their parents do not abuse them and other than his smoking neither Angry Guy or I have any substance abuse issues. We live in a nice home in a nice neighborhood. We live a simple life and for the most part are happy and healthy. But still I feel guilt.

At any rate I mentioned this to my headshrinker. She sort of smiled and reassured me that I have done nothing to feel guilty about. She told me that it is not necessary to discuss this with my son but if I felt it necessary to apologize to go ahead.

I was on the fence about the whole thing and then today we went to lunch. My son knows how I feel about Angry Guy. He knows that I love Angry Guy but we both agree that maybe I am just not cut out to be married…to anybody. I am just not good at answering to anybody for my actions. So while we were at lunch I mentioned my sadness and I mentioned the headshrinker. I could tell he was uncomfortable so we cut the conversation short.

Later in the evening I was helping my son list something on eBay. Somehow we got to talking and I said it. I told him I felt guilty. He looked at me to see if I was serious but I began to tear up immediately. He tried to quickly brush it off and say “don’t worry about it. I’m fine. Everything worked out.”

Something about my body language must have told him I didn’t believe him because he stood over me as I sat at my computer and tried his hardest to hug me. It was awkward. He is so damn skinny and boney and tall. We don’t fit together like we used to. He became a man just like that. When did my sweet little boy become a man?

Merry Christmas everybody. Today Naughty Kitty is just plain “Mommy”. Tomorrow is another story.

Kitty Exposed

Having a secret blog has its good points and it’s not so good points. First of all I can really vent if I want to. Originally I wanted this blog to be all positive and shit. In reality although my life is a pretty happy one I am just like everybody else. I have good days AND bad days. My life is full of love, laughter as well as tears and heartbreak.

When things were going on with XXX I thought it was important to share the feelings I was having. I get a lot of inspiration from reading other blogs especially if someone else is experiencing something similar to what I am going through. I thought maybe someone would read the “XXX Files” and see that things ultimately work out.

I didn’t intend this to be a post about XXX but since we are on the subject I want to say that I miss him. I don’t miss him in a romantic way. Oh sure, I'll admit I miss meeting him at his place at a regular scheduled time. I miss standing in his kitchen hugging him for the first time of the day. I miss that kiss when I melted into him. I miss him looking at me with those stunning blue eyes before he said something about going up to his bedroom. Sometimes I think he just may have ruined me for any other man. The one thing I do love about XXX is that I could always tell him exactly how I feel and he could always tell me. We never got freaked out by the word "love". We can still talk to eachother that way. I am happy about that. And I did love the fact that he immediately put a claim on me. He took control and insisted we set a schedule. I could always count on our Monday afternoon trysts. I miss that. I miss knowing that Monday's or any other day is MY day...Kitty's day to get some attention. No other man has offered that to me since XXX.

So see, XXX went out of town to spend some time with his family since this is his first Christmas without his father. He’ll be back tomorrow but today I was in his office and I was thinking about him and missed him a little bit. I missed my friend. Oh, he was emailing me all day and pissing me off, believe me. He is freaking out about this B.J. thing that I am supposed to do for him…B.J. being one of our work associates…a VIP work associate.

When I first got into work I had an email from XXX waiting for me asking me to work this afternoon. This is what pissed me off because I specifically told XXX that I want some notice so that I can schedule all my other activities and bring a lunch for God’s SAKE! If he were in today I would have made him buy me lunch but the idea is that I want to bring healthy lunches and now that XXX is back with his wife he stopped working out and stopped watching what he eats. OMG plus his office is now filled with holiday treats from salesmen. It’s absolute torture for a food junkie like me.

Anyway, I was working with XXX’s assistants today and I was saying that I couldn’t believe he was freaking out over this B.J. thing and both of his assistants said the same thing. They both said “He freaks out about pretty much EVERYTHING.” I thought that was pretty funny because I have known XXX for quite a while now and I know him much more “intimately” than his assistants and this is the first time I have seen him like this.

Anyway he is coming home tonight and we will work together tomorrow and maybe I can get the real story about what’s going on here. I am not even so sure I missed XXX as much as I miss being surrounded by all of my “peeps” and he is one of my “peeps”.

So I am off topic. Like I said, the good thing about my secret blog is that I can vent about all sorts of things. The bad thing about my blog is that here and there I am meeting people in person who read my blog and that makes Kitty feel a little uneasy. Now Kitty has to be careful about what I write about certain people. I don’t want to hurt anybody’s feelings.

So right now I am feeling a little exposed and a little like my hands are tied. I feel like there are things that I want to write but am holding back. Someone suggested writing them anyway but holding them for when/if I ever write a book. You have no idea how many people throughout my life have told me that I should write a book.

I just wanted to write that. I wanted to write that there are times that I hold back in order to spare the feelings of someone that I think may be reading. So what should an exposed kitty like me do?

“St. Anthony, St. Anthony, Please Come Around…”

I just had the SCARE of my life! See, Kitty keeps all my blogs on a little flash drive. I keep the flash drive in a secret place. Today I went looking for the flash drive so I could write something and it was missing. Kitty searched and searched…then…Kitty PANACKED!!! Was this it?!?!? Did someone find my blog? Did they find the key to my secret life?!?!?!

I tried to remain calm as I asked each of my children, “did you see Mommy’s flash drive?” I asked in the sweetest, calmest possible voice I could muster. My kids each denied, denied,denied. DAMN!

I got so desperate that I called Big Cheese to see if I left it in my office. I wasn’t sure what would have been worse, Big Cheese finding the flash drive or Angry Guy. I knew if Big Cheese found it he would open the files and that would be devastating.

I pictured each scenario in my mind. I pictured the grin on Big Cheese’s face in the morning after opening document after document and reading each and every one as he put the real characters into place with the character names that I made up for the men that I work with.

Then Kitty became paranoid and thought Angry Guy finally figured me out. He brought that drive into work where someone who is actually computer literate would open it up. DAMN!

I pictured Angry Guy walking in the door holding print outs of the worst posts…the most incriminating posts that I wrote. I pictured him as angry as I have ever seen him.

I checked my coat pockets, under my computer, AROUND my computer then I prayed. I prayed to St. Anthony. Pretty ironic isn’t it?

I said the little prayer that my super religious girlfriend taught me. I said,”St. Anthony, St. Anthony please come around. Something is lost and cannot be found.” I repeated it a few times then held my breath and slowly removed the contents of the bag where I generally hide it. I had checked this bag and emptied the bag several times already. This time I opened the front pocket, peeked inside and saw a little glimmer of silver from the drive. I closed my eyes and said thank you to St. Anthony.

Kitty’s Discipline Part 2

Now that Kitty is wet and has been put in her place a little it is time for you to really show me who is boss. You take a moment then you turn Kitty over. This is exciting for Kitty because Kitty doesn’t know if you are going to put your cock into her pussy or if you are going to grab some lube and shove your cock into Kitty’s ass.

You hesitate for a moment and then pull Kitty to the side of the bed. You have decided to stand up against Kitty so you can get a better view of your cock moving in and out of Kitty. You decide to put your cock in Kitty’s pussy and begin thrusting gently at first then a little harder. I can feel and hear your balls slap against my ass. In an authoritative way, you say to me “How do you like that Kitty?” I can barely speak. You feel so good inside of me that I can only concentrate on that. Then you shove your finger in my ass and repeat a little stronger now, “How do you like THAT, Kitty?”

I am powerless and weak from ecstasy but I manage to cry out “Oh God, you feel so good!” You snicker a little and say, “So, I am GOD now?”

I think to myself that I will say anything you want me to if you will just keep doing what you are doing. “Please don’t stop!” I cry out.

“Oh, I will do what I think is best for you Kitty. I am calling the shots here. I am GOD, remember?”

My head is spinning and I hear myself moan and say “yes, you are GOD.” Just as I begin to cum you pull your cock out of me and move it into my ass. The initial shock is painful but then I lean back into you and pleasure takes over. You moan and begin to cum thrusting faster and harder.

I love the sound of your voice when you are fucking me. I love to hear you lose control.

I love when you take control and show Kitty who is in charge.

Kitty’s Discipline

I have been thinking about the next time we meet. Our first time was wonderful, don’t get me wrong. You were kind and giving and thoughtful. You asked Kitty what I wanted and how I wanted it. But Kitty is a naughty, naughty kitty and needs to be disciplined.

To show you just how naughty I am, I have laid out a plan for our next encounter. First we will meet at the location of your choice. For now let’s assume it is the same hotel as the first time. That suited our needs just fine didn’t it?

The difference is, this time when we arrive, Kitty is going to have you sit in a chair next to the bed. Kitty won’t tie your hands but you will not be allowed to touch Kitty in the beginning. See? I told you Kitty is naughty.

Kitty will stand in front of you and begin to remove my clothes. I know you want to help and believe me, I WANT you to help. I want you to unbutton my blouse. I want you to unsnap my bra. I want you to put your hands inside my pants and feel my wetness before you remove them. I want you to do all that but Baby, Kitty is feeling awfully naughty now.

So I will undress myself as you watch. I will stand and move just out of your reach. How does that make you feel? Oh, I may brush up against you. I may run my tongue over your lips. Kitty may run my hands over your cock to see if you are beginning to get hard in your jeans. But you can’t touch Kitty…not yet anyway.

Kitty is going to get on the bed. I am going to get on my knees facing you. I tell you to sit where you are and just watch. I begin to touch myself. First I play with the hair around my kitty. Then I will take my index finger and run it gently over my clit. I will bring my finger up to my mouth to see how I taste. Are you ready to taste me yet?

I will continue to run my fingers along the folds of my pussy as I maintain eye contact with you. What are you thinking?

I can feel myself getting wet just as I write this. I don’t want to cum too soon. I want you to make me cum.

I hope this makes you anxious. I hope that at this point you can’t sit in your chair anymore. I hope that you decide it is time to discipline Kitty. I want you to take control. I don’t want you to ask me what I want. I want you to TELL me what I want.

You should say “Come over here Kitty and undress me.” Kitty will see that you are serious and will hop off the bed to take care of you. Kitty will ask permission to kiss you. Will you give Kitty permission?

Kitty would like to kiss your mouth. As I unbutton your shirt, I will run my tongue down the front of your body down to the waistband of your jeans and I will begin to undo your jeans. Kitty will grab your beautiful ass then remove your jeans to expose your big, hard cock.

I want to take you in my mouth. Can Kitty take your cock in my mouth please? Your cock is so beautiful that I can’t help myself. I sink to my knees and begin to suck on it even though by now my pussy is aching for you to be inside of me.

You pull me up off of my knees. We are standing together for a moment. You look into my eyes and reach down with your hand. You put your finger inside of me and rub my G spot just enough to let me know that you are in control now. You pull your finger out of me and put it in my mouth. I taste myself again as I look into your eyes.

You guide me to the bed now and climb on top of me. As you enter me you move my legs over your shoulders. You are deep inside of me and thrusting harder than any man has. I will try not to cum right away because I am a naughty Kitty but I am powerless and cum almost immediately.

We move together effortlessly and finally you cum inside of me. I feel wet, warm and juicy now.

To be continued…

Another Great Guest Post by DiscreteEsq

By now you are all well aware of my fondness for my Ashley Madison friends (platonic of course except for one exception) and my friend DiscreteEsq has resurfaced after some health and family issues. He sent me this great story and with his blessing I am posting it for you all to read. Perhaps DiscreteEsq should take a look at my “Lost orgasm ‘Sex and the City' post” Don’t worry DiscreteEsq; I am sure you will get your orgasm back soon. It happens to the best of us. In the meantime, thanks for the guest post and welcome back!

Great story….

I was bored and felt a bit horny. So, I went to a club down the street… Met three girls who were out celebrating a birthday and out of nowhere said, 'we want to see some pussy."  I’m sitting at the bar, bored out of my mind and laughed. They wanted to go to a strip club a couple blocks away. Apparently, they had a good friend who was a stripper and one of them wanted to see her pussy. We went to the strip club. At the club, I tried my hardest to get one of the chicks but she was into some dude who looked like he was all about MMA and fucking whatever he could. Her sister and other friend wanted to tease the shit out of me. They got me to buy them a lap dance with their stripper friend, Claire…. Love that name.  It was hot... We left the VIP room and her friend was sitting there alone and was pissed because the MMA dude wanted to fuck in his car. She said she would have rather fucked me in my Benz than in his piece of shit. That was an odd moment. But her one friend talked her out of it while talking me into taking her number. I bought the birthday girl a lap dance with a stripper of her choice and they left.  Their stripper friend loitered around my comfort zone and we started talking about cumming and great orgasms…. Not sex, just orgasms. The last thing I remember saying at the club was, "I’m bored as hell and would love to get the living shit fucked out of me." Out of nowhere she said, "Buy me a dildo, I’ll pick out a pocket pussy for you" I was sort of shocked. Anyway, the club had a sex shop in the front and we got our toys (show n tell bar). We got to my place and she walked around and checked it out. She gave me her "stripper dance" and got my pants off.  I put two batteries in her toy and she started it up and masturbated over my head. It was short lived…. She fucked herself for about a minute, but the batteries died really fast. It was like a car that wouldn't start. We couldn't get it to work. It turns out that her toy wasn't the only thing having startup issues.

We are trying to get the vibrator to work. It's dead, or as the Germans say, "Kaput."  Now, I’m sitting naked on my sofa and my cock is experiencing serious shrinkage. No idea why. She was sexy and wanted one thing: to cum. I wanted the same thing…. I was cold, but I think I was wrapped up in her sexuality.  The shrinkage was bad….Like really bad. In fact, It's been a while since I've seen my cock in full "turtle" mode. I was embarrassed and she knew it!  She tried to relax me by licking my dick until it got semi soft-…We made out standing up; I was thrusting her against my wife's closet. It was fucking hot. My cock was at maybe at 25%. I had a sweater on and no pants. She was completely naked. I was lost. I literally thought about you for a second. Someone to fuck and laugh with.

       Kitty, I am now humbled… I felt her perfect pussy and tried to get the tip of my dick inside her.  The harder I tried, the softer I got. For some reason I was getting softer and softer. I wanted her so bad but I was brain fucking myself….  Turtle dick was in full effect.  I felt like I was in a tub of ice.  I was really bad. If my wife saw my pathetic cock, she would leave me for a dude with a small dick. I tried rubbing myself but couldn't even get myself hard!!!!! I was so fucking embarrassed!  I’m not huge by any means, but I have good size. Some girls have told me it's big, some say it’s perfect. I’m not one to brag, but my dick is nice. It has a good curve and it's compatible with most pussies.Now, I know I sound like TV commercial for radio shack by saying that, but I have a quality cock. Off the record, my dick is not a radio shack dick…. it’s more like an apple- unique, nice to look at, easy to use, and has a really nice design.

Back to my story… I knew she saw dick earlier when it was relaxed, and I kept thinking that she saw a good cock…. BUT, I was experiencing severe shrinkage and there was nothing I could do to get out of it!!!!!!! I was saying things like, "This is odd, and my cock looks really bad." I actually asked her if should try to jerk myself off. She was cool with it and started to talk to my dick. Yes, it was cute and a turn on. That didn't work and we sort of laughed. Meanwhile, I’m half naked against my wife's juicy couture sweats wishing for a miracle.

We made out for awhile. I was trying to rub my dick against her leg to get hard, but it really didn't work. She grabbed my dick so hard it hurt. That didn't get me hard either. As visions of Viagra went through my head we ended up in the bathroom. I was still soft/small/turtle…. Put it this way, the head of my friend was attempting to see the light.  She said, “I thought you were uncut for a minute…" At that point I thought my balls rose into my throat.

To make matters worse she spoke with a British accent and said something like, "You need a little trim on your willy." THEN SHE SHAVED MY COCK and BALLS BALD! She said she wanted my "penis" to look like her "flower." (THOSE WERE HER WORDS- Penis and flower). Now, in all honesty, my wife has sucked me off and shaved me, but it's been a few weeks. It was clean, but a bit long.  I love trimming, but my cock needed a little trim. She started with clippers, then she used our razors and shaving cream.  She used two shaving creams!!!! (I’m sort of metro sexual- I have several shaving creams)….  In fact, I think I still have shaving cream on me…. Yeah, I’m sitting here with my pants off, rubbing my dick and I think that's some sort of cream….

My dick was stuck at small. She said fuck me with the vibrator. DUDE, I was trying my hardest to get the fucking vibrator to work! I was shaking the shit out of it. Out of nowhere, she started dripping lube on my cock (Er… apparently lube is huge with strippers.) She kept dripping it on me while inserting the non-working dildo in her pussy.

The fucking vibrator ended working…. There was some plastic in the battery compartment. I put the thing on full speed. Wow, she had an amazing pussy. She got my cock hard. She lubed me up, put the rubber vagina on me and rubbed me solid. Got me hard for a nice fuck. Lasted awhile. She said she liked my dick but it was hard work. LOL! I faked an orgasm! She left and  I’m still sitting here naked… Will I ever cum again?

Bad Sex Karma

I am a big believer in karma. You wouldn’t think so but I am. So “Angry Guy” and I have this constant struggle. See, I have a much stronger sex drive then he does. I could have sex nearly every night. “Angry Guy”…not so much.

We have gone around and around about this. I feel as though he is not attracted to me which of course makes me eat which of course makes me even less attractive. I have tried to lose weight out of anger for him. Like “fuck you Angry Guy! If you don’t want me I will be so hot that everybody else does!”

The funny thing is that Angry Guy is a pretty jealous guy. He doesn’t trust me around any man except maybe Big Cheese and maybe XXX which is pretty ironic but I gotta tell you they are looking pretty hot to me now.

The idea of him being jealous is hysterical to me because there is not exactly a line out the door waiting for this little lady to become single. In fact if I ever WERE single again, I doubt there would be any takers.

I will admit that I am pre-occupied if not obsessed with sex. This is possibly because I rarely get it anymore which makes me sad because I do enjoy it.

Believe me I have thought about this situation thousands of times over the years that Angry Guy and I have been together. Apparently I have always wanted sex more than him. I was always up for the quickie before work and then the longer session after work. He was always the one that said he couldn’t function at work after that. I used to think of it as a compliment. Now I am looking back just thinking that he didn’t have as much of a drive as I do. I look back at all the times we slept together before we were married and think that he was able to do it every night when we were together because we weren’t together every single night like we are now.

I have asked friends both male and female “What the fuck?” Am I the only woman out there who wants sex more than my husband?? Well, my friends have come up with the following explanations as to why my husband seems to be the only living man out there who refuses sex with his wife…me.

Generally my male friends say he is gay. Okay, I ASSURE you that is not it although I have on occasion joked about my Ex possibly swinging in that direction. I have wondered if maybe Angry Guy's nationality is just not as sexual. Angry Guy is English. Maybe the English aren’t as horny?  I know Italian men have quite the libido though so his nationality is an option.

 My other friends say maybe his health is a factor. That seems like the most likely idea to me. Here’s the thing though. Angry Guy NEVER goes to the doctor and I am not about to start nagging him about going now. He is a chain smoker and at least 50 pounds overweight. I am sure this has SOMETHING to do with it but I am not his mother and feel strongly that if it is not important to him to be healthy for his wife and children then all I can do is stay healthy for our children.

The last and unfortunately the thing I tend to lean toward the most is that Angry Guy is simply not attracted to me anymore. He loves me…I mean WHO WOULDN’T?!?!? I suppose the physical attraction is just not there for him. This hit home for me several times but I revisited it last night. I was reading a new book and one of the characters is in a similar situation where the husband was simply not attracted to her…just like that. This is obviously where my feeling of “I am going to get so hot that other guys notice me” attitude is coming from. I know this is juvenile but I am over it already.

Angry Guy has a whole repertoire of tricks and excuses to avoid having sex with me. He uses work as an excuse when he is working. On his days off he uses being stressed about upcoming work as an excuse.

The thing that really gets me is that he will flirt with me all day long. He will grab me and kiss me and make remarks about wanting more. This gets me crazy. This is foreplay right?? I heard Sting does that shit for days with his wife. Maybe Angry Guy is training me for a life of tantric sex with Sting. No thank you!

Anyway, I have made sure to communicate with Angry Guy on several occasions that whenever he wants sex from me he will get it so when he does the flirting thing it is really disappointing to me when I go upstairs to read and I know he is downstairs waiting for me to fall asleep.

I have tried everything to deal with the issue. I have made threats which of course backfired. I have pleaded…no good. And I have acted indifferent. Basically indifferent is where I am now it used to tear me up inside. Thank God for Ashley Madison!

Whenever I make a comment about sex with other men around I generally hear things like “Angry Guy is a lucky man.” XXX used to make the comment whenever we were in bed.

I hate to tell XXX that even if his wife lets him back into the house their sex life will not improve. Yes, I am bitter but I am also a realist.

More and more I have decided that this is bad sex karma for me. When I was married to the Ex he wanted sex all the time. He sort of repulsed me at the time so I acted pretty much the way Angry Guy acts with me…without the flirting part.

I know you are asking why I ever married the Ex in the first place. Hey, we looked good on paper. At the time I was not enlightened about sex so I figured I could deal for 50-60 years. It turns out I was wrong. The Ex used to climb on top of me which was a total turn off. Anyway I am trying to block it out so I don’t want to go into detail. Bottom line is that I know how Angry Guy feels and I don’t want him to feel worse but why should I have to repress all this great sexual energy?

The ironic part of this whole thing is that the Ex is now taking blood pressure medication which I understand fucks with a man’s ability to have an erection. So it turns out the Ex has a little bad sex karma himself.

Cranky Kitty

Kitty is CRANKY today. I am not sure why. I could be cranky because I haven’t had a decent night’s sleep since APRIL! I could be cranky from lack of sex. I could be cranky because my blogging buddies who usually email me throughout the day were all busy at work so I had to actually…WORK myself. I could be cranky because it was like pulling teeth to get Big Cheese to sit down and write a damn letter for a VERY IMPORTANT client. OMG! That man has the worst case of A.D.D.!!!!

I could be cranky because Big Cheese’s office smelled like old pork ribs and I was trapped in there all morning.

 
I could be cranky from low blood sugar or because someone keeps bringing in cookie trays at work and I am trying desperately to avoid them. 

I could be cranky because the numbers on my scale are not moving in the direction that I want them to. I noticed that sex helps with that by the way…at least if you do it right.

 
I could be cranky because Angry Guy spends money like it’s water this time of year and had the nerve to ask me if I need a list of things to get for him after I just bought him a fucking computer. What the fuck is HE going to do with a computer? And does he think we are made of fucking money or something? He should really take a closer look at his paycheck.
 I could be cranky because I couldn’t find anybody to come out to play with me after work. See, Kitty TRIES to be a good kitty. The headshrinker told me to stick with hanging out with my girlfriends but they are all BUSY! Well…too busy for me.

I texted my gal pal to meet me for lunch. She said she was shopping at the Coach store and would I like anything. I told her I am cranky and it’s going to take more than a Coach bag to make me happy. So she texted back “How about ‘a’ coach? A cute soccer oneJ” Okay, at least that made me smile.

Anyway, I am sure none of you want to hear me bitching. You all have your own issues I am sure.

Do any of you have any suggestions how to pull myself out of my cranky kitty mood? REALISTIC suggestions????

Christmas Spirit

I have been having a terrible time getting into the holiday spirit lately. Believe it or not there was a time when I would decorate the house from top to bottom. I spent hundreds of dollars on decorations. One year I even set up the electric train under the Christmas tree.

This year we just bought our tree. It was marked down since it is already the middle of the month. AWESOME! I hate wasting money on a tree that is already dead. When Angry Guy and I got married, he agreed to raise our kids as Jews if I agreed to still celebrate Christmas. I agreed to have a tree in the house if he agreed that it be a live tree. My mother in law laughed at me and said “Honey, you are going to kick yourself when you are still vacuuming pine needles up in JUNE.”

This year I chose to go into the attic so that I could dictate exactly what came down instead of just having Angry Guy bring everything down and sorting through it. So I pulled the attic stairs down and right off the bat a dead bird falls out. LOVELY!! See, this is exactly why I make a point of not going into the attic.

Of course my daughter was completely grossed out and Angry Guy said “You just ate fried chicken. What do you think that is? It’s a DEAD BIRD!” We’ll have to deal with my daughter becoming a vegetarian another time.

So the next step is bringing the tree into the house and stringing the lights. Our crazy ass dog has a phobia about new things coming into the house so I am sure she is going to bark her ass off at the tree parked in the corner. I just hope to god she doesn’t pee on it. That surely won’t brighten my Christmas spirit.

Hello…Is There Anybody Out There?

Am I the only blogger out there who wants to know who is reading my blog? It is fascinating to me who is reading, how they found me and what they think. In fact comments good or bad make Kitty WET! Okay…in all honesty comments from Biker Dude make Kitty wet but the rest of you make Kitty “moist”.

Sorry, but you KNOW what Biker Dude does to me! Anyway, I want to hear from you. I want to hear from as many of you as possible.

Who are you? Where are you from? What do you think of my blog? What do you like? What DON’T you like?

Oh and don’t forget my forum. If you want to find it click on “forum” on the right hand side of this page.

Come on people!!! Make Kitty wet!

19 Children? Really? Condom Time!

The other day I came across People Magazine. Generally I just flip through that magazine in a doctor’s office or something. I just happened to notice the cover with the Duggars and their 19^th kid front and center.

For the most part my philosophy is “live and let live”. These people seem like decent people. They don’t collect welfare and although I do not see myself with any more then my daily recommended allowance of 3 children I do not harbor any ill will toward these people.

I do have a few observations and/or questions however. First of all, do they have to act so damned stereotypical of the “country bumpkin” image that us Northerners immediately assume when we hear that there is a family with 19 birth children?? I mean really? What is up with that??

To me the whole concept of homeschooling is just insane. That is for me. I admire people who have that patience and can manage it but my 9 and 10 year old are already smarter than me and know it so the home schooling thing that Michelle D. does would be out of the question for me.

What’s with the kids all dressing alike? WTF is that about? The kids are dressed for church ALL THE TIME! They play sports all dressed up like that. They even had a television show about how they all built their house and they were building the damn house all dressed in polo shirts and khaki pants. They look clean cut and good for them but what if it is the day they are all supposed to wear red and one of the boys wants to wear his blue polo. I would like to know what happens behind the scenes with that. Do they get beaten with a “switch”?

Since I am all about time and saving time I don’t see where the hell that mother gets the time to tend to her bad 1980’s hair-do. They live in freakin’ Arkansas. Wouldn’t it be easier and breezier to get a cute little “Bob” haircut? Just sayin’.

They are not fooling me when it comes to taking care of those kids. I know damn well the older kids are raising the younger kids while the mother and father are off having afternoon sex or something. Come on…when the hell do they have time to have sex otherwise with 19 damn kids?!?!?!

In all honesty I want to know how they do it?? Yes! I want to know when and how they manage to find the time and the space to have sex. Also do they still enjoy it? Do they do it in different positions? Do they use the Altoid trick…DAMN! I want to know!!

As a mother,  I can tell you that there are several unpleasant side effects of having a few kids much less 19. Where the hell is that woman’s bladder?? Maybe she just had the entire thing removed. She never has to take bathroom breaks not that she would have the time even if she wanted to. JEEZ-US! I have to tinkle just writing this. WTF!

Lastly, all their kids’ names begin with the letter “J” good for them. I know people who do this but the Duggars have officially run out of “J” names. To me that means it is time to slip on the old raincoat Jim-Bob. If I were Michelle D. I would have to say, “Honey, time for the condom or keep the torpedo in the canon”.

Naughty Kitty's Christmas Bonus

Get your mind out of the gutter. I know what you are thinking! Can I tell you that I don’t remember the last Christmas bonus that I received? I know I got one back in college and maybe one or two when I first started working but the jobs I have had over the past years do not lend themselves to that sort of thing.

So this morning started out with an email from XXX asking if I could come in for “an hour or more”. Okay, what the fuck does that mean? I wouldn’t have minded but I had some afternoon plans and Kitty gets testy when her schedule is messed with. So I emailed XXX back asking for clarification. Did he absolutely need me today or could it wait? I didn’t hear back. So I called and got thrown into his voice mail. So I left a message. Then I finally got an email back from him that said “huh?” UGH! WTF?!

Now for normal people this would not be a big deal. In reality I can literally hit his office on my way out and if he doesn’t need me I can be on my way. But Kitty was cranky today and in no mood for XXX’s shenanigans.

On my way back from the bathroom I ran into XXX. He was heading out for a cigarette. So I said “Dude, WTF?!?!” Anyway, to make a long story that much longer XXX said “well, I really just need you for an hour but I don’t want to hurt your feelings.”

Now XXX and I have such a weird dynamic anymore that it is downright frustrating and I am thinking he does this shit on purpose. I have absolutely no problem with our situation but for whatever reason he is still uncomfortable. He insists he is trying to be a thoughtful friend since I told him that he was selfish when we were carrying on our affair. I keep trying to explain to him that now that we are back to being just friends he doesn’t have to pretend to be interested in my life or my feelings or anything for that matter. Anyway, for whatever reason he is and I had to tell him “Dude, if you just need me for an hour please just say, ‘I just need you for an hour’ because there are other men in my life that I need to tend to.” Even though he smiled he didn’t seem to appreciate my humor at that point.

So then as we were getting settled into our work he slipped me a note that said “Pay yourself $xxx for a Christmas bonus”. As he handed me the note he mumbled something about knowing that I am not actually an employee and that it’s not a lot…

But like I said I was THRILLED. I tried not to over think it. I mean as an employee it was a generous bonus. As someone who used to suck XXX’s dick well…it was sort of an insult. Maybe that’s why he was apologetic?

No…no I am going to have a positive attitude here. So on my way out we were having a conversation about another worker whose name happens to be “B.J.” Now I can’t figure out why I am the only one at work that thinks that this person’s name is hysterical. Yes, I am basically a 12 year old trapped in a grown woman's body. So XXX said something to me about needing a report for B.J. next week to which my reply of course was “Yes, I will work on my B.J.’s” to which XXX responded with a smile, “Oh no, don’t worry about it. Your B.J.’s are JUST FINE”.

A Christmas bonus AND a compliment. I am one lucky kitty.

The High

There’s nothing like the feeling you get when you make a special connection with another person whether it be a friend or a lover. It’s a high. It’s a feeling like no other. It’s rawness like the slightest breeze will cut through you and push you over.

Every now and then I get a text or an email…from HIM. This morning he sent me a simple text that said simply “I’m thinking about you, Kitty xoxoxox”.

I wanted to cry. As simple as it was, it brightened my dismal morning. I had butterflies in my stomach. It took my breath away. I wonder if he knows just how much those small gestures mean to me. Maybe that’s not good. Maybe if he knows he will back away just like all the others. Only he is NOT like all the others.

There is sensitivity, vulnerability, sincerity that none of the others had. He reminded me the other day that I discounted him originally. It nearly broke my heart. God I am an idiot. The real crime is who I let in. The real crime is that I was listening to all the wrong men when he was waiting patiently for me to realize.

What can I do to make it up to him? What can I do to make him see my regret?

Happy Birthday, Baby xoxoxox

Wives

The other day at work XXX made a comment that I am the only woman who craves sex as much as a man. He told me I am a "unicorn" whatever the hell THAT means. I know that I can't possibly be the ONLY woman.
I am fascinated, however by the wives of some of my lovers. I like to know what they will and will not do and why. I am not trying to pry. I am a task oriented person as well as a "people pleaser" so in an effort to be a "Good Kitty" I like to do my research so that I can please my partner.
I’d love to meet these women to pick their brains only because some of their husbands are REALLY good lovers…some of them.
So, what's up? Are these women in "Mommy mode"? Can they not find their way out? Now don't get me wrong. There is something to be said for giving up your life to raise your kids. I love my kids but hell, I'm still a WOMAN! I want to be loved and desired just like the old me before I had kids. So, what you are saying is that other women don't feel that way???
WTF?! That's madness!!
Now I for one have the opposite problem that you might see on Dr. Phil or one of those damned talk shows. On Dr. Phil the women complain that they can't just switch gears and go from changing shitty diapers to sucking on their husband's dick. Okay, I get that...sort of. I don't happen to have that problem.
My issue is that Angry Guy sees me now as the mother of his children...Madonna more or less only alot less make-up and jewelry. Wait...wrong "Madonna". He has me up on a pedistal. He won't "disrespect" my body by touching it much less cumming on it. I have to be honest here. Looking back Angry Guy was never as adventurous in the bedroom as I was and he sure as hell isn't about to start now.
So, I ask you what the hell is with these women who won't fuck their husbands? Don't they know how lucky they are that their husbands still LOOK at them as desireable?
Listen, if any of the men who read this blog agree and would like to send their wives my way let me know. I'd love to interview them and write about it. It's fascinating to me, sort of like a unicorn.