Thursday, May 17, 2012

Sh*tting Where I Eat...NOT

The Client called me a few times last week. I am not sure exactly why. He called once while I was at lunch with my son and his friend which raised some eyebrows. Oh yeah, my son is home from school and right on top of my shit. It is for that reason that Kitty is going to be super careful about meeting my play dates and probably will not be meeting anybody new for the time being.

So, back to the client…he called the other day when I was supposed to meet T-Bone. We didn’t really discuss anything in particular but then he made a comment about having his wife’s “legs up in the air this morning.” Now Kitty doesn’t want to hear that shit. Okay so you fuck your wife! Good for you! Which is basically what I said to him. I did manage to add that I was meeting T-Bone and told The Client not to call me in the afternoon because I would not be answering.

Sure enough when T-Bone was inside of me and the moment was critical my freakin’ phone began to ring. T-Bone was so close to cumming that we both just ignored it. I thought for sure it was The Client calling to bust my chops but it turned out it was my son. See what I am saying about him?

So sure enough The Client called the next day. I told him about the phone call incident and he said “I would never do that.” Please, I beg to differ. At any rate we had a little chat…The Client and I. I think he may have been having some regrets about starting in with me and just couldn’t get to the point.

At one point in the conversation I said to him “Listen, don’t stress over us. I am fine if we don’t hook-up.” I had already seen the signs months ago so his calls were merely flirtations to me. The Client seems relieved but continued to say he wants to get together when things with his wife stabilize. Between you and me The Client’s situation is NEVER going to stabilize. So we agreed to be friends. And I did manage to add “Listen, no offense but if we ever do get together, I don’t want to fuck you and then have you go on and on about how much you love your wife.” The Client assured me that “when” we get together, his head will be in the game and it will just be the two of us.

The next day of course The Client called AGAIN. We chatted. He said “its fun talking to you.” I have heard that before and I am a pretty good friend. I fall in love with my friends, not necessarily in a romantic way but in a way where I would do just about anything to make them happy especially if they are having a bad day.

The Client asked me what happened to The Bully. Do you remember him? Well he is still around but I try to ignore his biting emails. When I told The Client that The Bully said I was “gamey”, The Client let out such a laugh it almost burst my eardrum. For whatever reason The Client said “that just made my day”. I would have taken it as an insult but The Client went on to TRASH The Bully from the little bit that I had told him.

And so The Client and I will remain friends…just friends…for now.


Ryan Beaumont said...

You know client golf is so much easier. You knock the ball around for a few hours, loose by 1 stroke, and then get some drinks after.

Naughty Kitty said...

Oh shoot! He said something about "stroking balls" but I had no idea he was talking about golf ;)

Anonymous said...

That's funny