When Life Hands You Lemons

Kitty has been in such a rut lately. That’s a big reason behind all the nonsense with Ashley Madison. What is the expression? “An idle mind is the Devil’s playground”. When Kitty has nothing good to focus my attention on I can get into LOTS of trouble…obviously.

So, in an effort to put all this behind me and in an effort to make a bad situation good again I have decided to start a project. I have been picking all of my friend’s brains for ideas of what I should do. Quite a few of my friends recommended being a Madame. Today I also got a text telling me that two of my friends had decided that selling sex toys would be the perfect career for me. None of these people read my blog by the way so you can see that my Naughty Kitty personality oozes out even in real life. No, Naughty kitty is not one of those women who is stiff by day and loosey goosey party girl at night. In fact I think more people are surprised that I write when they read my blog than the fact that I write about explicit topics.

One of my friends suggested combining something I love with something I am good at. Maybe that’s where my friends got the Madame/sex toy idea.

Anyway this morning Kitty became so inspired that I may have to focus more of my efforts on this project for the time being and less on my blog. Now don’t go getting all sad. I will still be here and I will most definitely still be writing but I may repost some of my favorite posts from early on. I don’t want you all to think I am cheating or trying to get anything over on all of you. When my project is complete I assure you it will be worth it for all of us.

So now I have an entire team of creative as well as technical consultants who happen to also be my friends including Ben, a friend that I will from this point forward refer to as “Adonai” and XXX of course!

XXX and Ben have been my biggest supporters with this project. I trust their opinions explicitly and in XXX’s case he has volunteered to be my technical advisor and I can’t think of a better person than my valued friend and confidante, XXX.

I know this may seem boring to all of you compared to my normal reports from inside a hotel room but Kitty is trying to turn things around. Kitty is making lemonade out of the lemons that life has handed her lately.

Don’t be so quick to write me off. There may be some good stories to write about. Some may even be naughty.

Kitty the Tutor

I’m finally coming to the end of my busy season. Big Cheese has been sort of a douche bag lately. I know he is under a lot of pressure and of course he has some personal issues just to add to the fun. Today was extremely busy so Big Cheese decided to add a new dimension to the day and schedule a completely unnecessary meeting. Okay, the meeting may be necessary but it wasn’t “necessary” to have it today of all days. Big Cheese is very easily distracted. I have to constantly remind myself that he is the boss and he has been doing this for a long time so he must know what he’s doing.

After the meeting I expected Big Cheese to get back to work. That would make too much sense though so Big Cheese decided to take his lunch break and made it an extra long one. Can you see why Kitty is a bit frustrated?

Now Kitty sat at my desk and ate my lunch. I had a quick phone call with T-Bone and then said “Fuck it”. I went to the ladies room and stopped off at XXX’s office. He was in a really good mood today considering his wife is still jerking him around.  I like to tease him about how smelly his lunches are. Today the smell of onion permeated the lobby of the building so I really gave it to him good.

We talked about our constant battle to lose weight. I told him the latest with T-Bone which of course turned the conversation to sex…always.

I told XXX that cancellations don’t bother me that much except these guys are so freakin’ particular about how groomed Kitty’s kitty is. XXX agreed that shaving or waxing my kitty is ridiculous. I asked him if he shaves his balls. Sadly it’s been so long that I have forgotten. XXX’s reply was “well…when I get out there I guess I am going to have to.” Then we had a quick conversation about God wanting you to have hair there so…

XXX skillfully turned the conversation toward his offer the other day to pity fuck me…although he insists it was not out of pity. We once again mulled over the ending of our affair the first time. I told him that my cyber friends are amazed at our ability to spin out of that nasty break up and end up close friends. XXX agreed and said “I am in awe.” I think he is crediting me for the whole thing. He started telling me that he was parking on the other side of the building back then. I asked, “Why? Did you think I would stalk you?” “No,” he said. “I didn’t want to have that confrontation every morning knowing that I hurt you so badly.” I know you are all bored with mulling this over and over. I admit, I am starting to get weary of it myself.

The funny thing is that XXX then reminded me that not too long ago I had commented on his oral skills…or rather his need to learn some oral skills. I remember the conversation I forget the specifics. Apparently I told him not to point his tongue but to flatten it when licking a ladies’ pussy. He told me yesterday that that was good advice and he used it successfully. Well, I am happy to help.

It’s weird how we can talk so openly and honestly with one another and yet when we were actually fucking I was too shy to tell him that.

Finally he made a comment. He said “you can tutor me Kitty. You can come to my place and I can practice on you and you can guide me until I learn.”

I agreed that was a great idea. “So you will let me know when you need practice giving oral and I will tutor you and then you can tutor me on giving a blow job.” XXX seemed interested as long as we use the expression “tutor” it’s okay.

See? Kitty is helping men and women one tongue at a time by TUTORING.

"Peaceful Easy Feeling"

Last night XXX and I texted back and forth quite a bit. He was consoling me. I kept trying to explain that I wasn’t so upset about losing this last lover. It was the fact that after all our conversations the first thing that popped into his head about me is that I am FAT. Oh, don’t get me wrong. I KNOW I am fat. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure that out but as I said before, I can lose the weight.  But really there is more to Kitty then just the fact that I am “temporarily weight challenged”. And by the way, it’s not so much that I am fat as that I am short. I’d be the perfect weight if I were just a few inches taller.

Okay, enough about that. The point is that I am motivated to buckle down and lose the weight. More importantly I am motivated to stay on the straight and narrow with a little thing called “Fidelity”. In all honesty I have been enjoying not having to constantly look over my shoulder lately. There are no potential lovers out there other than XXX.

Last night while he was trying to pump up my ego he said that he would lick the alphabet over my body if he could. Kitty had to remind XXX that we have an agreement. XXX said “agreement for what? I never agreed to anything.” XXX really is a sweetheart. Believe me it would not take any effort at all for me to take that ride over to his place at lunch time. It wouldn’t take any effort at all for me to look into those crystal blue eyes of his then fall into his kiss. I can see myself walking up to his bedroom like so many times before. I could make love to XXX without any effort at all. My heart and soul would be completely into it. And then I remember the pain I felt when we ended the first time. At least now when one of these jerks hurt me I can go to XXX for comfort. But if I lose him again…If I lose our friendship…

So, as I like to do after losing a lover, I am going to take a break from the life of a prowler. Just a break…for now because quite frankly after all the drama with the last jerk I am sincerely enjoying that peaceful easy feeling of just being an ordinary wife and mother.

Kitty's New Low

Ah yes, each day Kitty sets a goal of some sort and always manages to hit a new low. Today I worked at Construction Guy’s office.  I am super FRISKY. To make matters worse Construction Guy’s daughter immediately brought up sex at lunch so I was completely preoccupied.

After lunch some of my friends were talking to the neighbors. There was a man there who was walking his grandson. My friends tried to engage me in the conversation since I am the only one out of all of us that has kids myself. I was completely disinterested in the conversation but began checking out the Grandpa. He looked pretty hot for a grandpa. So then of course my mind began to wander further and I began to wonder “is he on Ashley Madison”?

Finally one of my friends mentioned something about my kids which immediately snapped me back to reality. I said to Grandpa “It’s a good thing my kids were miserable babies other wise I would have had more.” Then Grandpa said to me “I KNOW you.”

Then Kitty thought, “SHIT!” See…when that happens Kitty loses a few lives. It turned out Grandpa was one of my kid’s teachers at one point and he retired. That puts him somewhere in his 60’s I’m thinking but damn is he cute.

So now Kitty has reached a new low and is fantasizing about fucking local teachers. Not good…or is it?

Friends

XXX and I are at sort of a weird point with our friendship. We are friends by his definition. I consider us friends as well…”work friends”. Do you all have different types of friends? XXX mention a while back that we should go to dinner or for drinks. That is impossibility for me. I invited him for lunch the other day via text. He misunderstood and thought my text was code. We finally caught up in person today and hashed it out. XXX and I communicate much better in person…and in bed. When he told me he thought my text was code I told him “I’m pretty easy to understand. When I ask you to lunch it means ‘do you want to go to lunch?’ If I want to suck your dick I will let you know straight out.” Man did XXX turn beet red when I said that but by this point I am so frustrated with his mood swings. I have to say that I have changed in that way from when we were first having our affair. For whatever reason his weird relationship with his wife transfers over into our relationship only there is a role reversal. XXX is his wife in our relationship and I become him. He is always saying now that he doesn’t ever know whether he is “in or out” with her. I pointed out to him the other day that I can’t tell anymore whether I am “in or out” with him. I do love that about XXX…not that I can’t tell whether I am “in or out” but I can discuss it with him. Oh, I know that I am always in. I have to be a patient and loyal friend to him and I am.

So back to the definition of “Friend”. Webster’s defines friend as:

1 a: one attached to another by affection or esteem b: acquaintance

2 a: one that is not hostile b: one that is of the same nation, party, or group

3: one that favors or promotes something (as a charity)

4: a favored companion

In light of the confusion with XXX I realized that he and I may never be the kind of friends that socialize outside of work. Hence, we are “Work Friends”. My real life friends and I go out to lunch, to each other’s houses, shopping. We socialize outside of work. Then I have my gym friends who I just meet at the gym for class or we chat while we are on the treadmills.

Then of course I have my online friends. Some on Facebook and some from Ashley Madison. These are the friends that I may never meet in person but we email several times a week which has its merits.

I also have a select number of male friends that I have fucked once and although we will never meet in person again we keep in touch via chat or email.

The other night I had a quick but sweet chat online with “Unsatisfied”. I see him online often but generally do not initiate a chat. He and I agreed to meet once back in September and not meet again. We have chatted here and there since our meeting just to say “hi” and “Happy Holidays”. I felt compelled to initiate a chat with “Unsatisfied” last night in light of the misunderstanding with XXX. I told “Unsatisfied” that our arrangement was one of the best experiences that I have had. He and I made an agreement and stuck to it. Neither of us has violated the other’s trust or the boundaries of our agreement. We never discuss meeting again which is fine by both of us. I told him last night that the encounters that I have had that have gone sour are with men who have insisted that they wanted more than just one encounter. They each claimed they wanted something ongoing and then of course did not follow through. That disappointed Kitty especially since things were going so well until I met this particular group of men. So, even though “Unsatisfied” and I were a “One and Done” we are friends by definition.

After my discussion with XXX today I am fine with just being “Work Friends”.

Secret Blog

The other day I asked Ben if he thought I should hold off on telling men on Ashley Madison about my blog. I asked him matter of factly. He said he thought so. He said it makes me sound like I fuck any guy that I meet when in reality I am looking for that one special friend.

Ben and I talk about that a lot. It’s funny because I notice a pattern on Ashley Madison with the men I meet. The first crop of men were big chatters. They all liked chatting on yahoo. Kitty is not much of chatter and Angry Guy gets suspicious when I am at my computer typing away all night so I had to cut back on the chatting. These men were also not into using full names. It was only recently 7 months after we fucked that I told G my real name and even then it was just my first name and even then he didn’t care one way or another.

That first group of guys was really turned on by my blog too…well most of them. My reason behind offering up my blog right off the bat on Ashley Madison is because I think it gives a great insight as to who I am really, what I have been through, what I like in the bedroom, my humor, and I had always thought it gave a great perspective of my personality on the whole. It should convey the fact that I can be a dirty little slut but I am also sensitive and loving.

Other groups of men at one point came clean with their real names and cell phone numbers right off the bat. Now, Kitty is no threat to these men but JEEZ-US! To me your name and your cell phone number are all a girl needs to take you down. Once again Kitty is no threat but the more I hear about other women…

So this latest group of men seemed to be REALLY turned off by Kitty’s blog. That’s no biggie really. I just feel as though it’s an important part of my secret life and anybody who is part of my life should be aware of it and enjoy it if they do.

The other day two men messaged me. One was terribly cute in his pictures and I had seen that he viewed my profile several times before over the past few months. I of course was pulling my hair out at work when he finally initiated by email. I gave him my naughty kitty email address and directed him to my blog. Another man that day who seemed to be much older and perhaps one of those men who say he is 54 but is really more like 74 also contacted me that day. I told him that I like to focus on one playmate at a time and quite frankly I am still rooting for T-Bone. I forget what this guy said but he emailed me back some comment about having them both and it just made me smile so again I directed him to my blog. Well don’t you know I haven’t heard from either of them since?

Maybe Kitty is too boldly honest. Maybe they were afraid I’d write about them. Maybe it was because it was the day Kitty wrote about “Fun Kitty Is DEAD…”

Either way, it’s just interesting how the trends change.

Kitty's Forum

Kitty is SO excited today! I woke up to check my email and found an email from Armada. He said he posted a question to the forum and there has been no response. Can I please take this opportunity to direct your attention to the left? I know it is difficult to read but if you click on the word “FORUM”, you will see that you can post and answer questions. You all KNOW Kitty loves that stuff so please by all means PARTICIPATE.

Now, back to Armada’s question. Please let’s help him. I’ve been where he is and I know that time is of the essence.

Hello Kitty,

I had submitted this question below via the "ask naughty kitty" link on the blog but not sure if it made it to you so trying to email it.

I think you were right in one of your recent posts to my comment. I am the male version of you! ;)

I'm hoping to get your advice... Met a woman in the past several weeks via AM. We've been emailing regularly which brings me to my question for you...your woman’s perspective! She seems like the "type" that if I don’t initiate contact, like "good morning," she won’t do it. I can’t explain why...but this bothers me to no end. I'm all for initiating and even keeping up the chase initially...but is it unrealistic of me to want the other partner or potential partner to put in/out some effort? I think part of the reason it bugs me so much, and she isn’t the first I've met who has been like this, is that I put in 90% of the effort with my marriage. In fact, that’s the whole reason I seek out affairs! The bottom line for me is, I don’t feel like I need TWO (or more...haha) relationships where I feel as though I am the one putting forth all the effort. Am I just being unrealistic and is it much ado about nothing? Should I expect this?

I look forward to hearing from you!

So, let me start by saying first that I am learning more and more through AM. You hear me complain all the time about how shitty men are and how they play games. OMG Armada! You are SO right WOMEN PLAY GAMES TOO!!!

Personally I love to be chased initially but yes, I agree at some point the other party whether it be the man or woman should be able to initiate contact unless you have an agreement otherwise due to the spouse reading texts for example.

Initially Kitty does wait for the other party to make contact. I never request keys on AM unless mine has been requested first and I never initiate contact first on AM. It’s just my thing. Having said that, once we have been emailing back and forth I will email as I see fit. If something happens or I think of that person I WILL email them or text them.

I hate to be a downer but Armada I just don’t think these extracurricular relationships should be such a struggle. We already have to struggle in our marriages. I refuse to struggle over the affection of a stranger. Go with your gut on this one. If she wants you, she should PARTICIPATE.

What does everyone else think?

Mommy Porn

The other day one of my friends asked for a kindle book recommendation. I of course made a wise crack about porn. Oh yes, my obsession over porn is well known among my family and friends. Now don’t get me wrong. It’s not like I have porn on the television or computer 24/7 but yes…if you pick up my kindle you will find several free books that I have downloaded about achieving a better orgasm and making your sex life better. Kitty is pretty open and honest about sex with my kids. Again, I don’t rub their faces in it and I am not signing them up for Ashley Madison but if any of them ever have questions, they know they can come to me and ask and I will give them an honest and (sometimes too graphic for their liking) answer.

So anyway one of my friends recommended the book series “Shades of Grey”. She called it “Mommy Porn”. Kitty thought that was funny so I decided to look into it. Well can I just tell you that considering these books are on the “New York Times Best Sellers” list I am pleasantly surprised. Oh, Kitty is only 26% through the book according to my kindle but I am enjoying every sexually explicit page.

I mentioned the book to XXX and his tight ass assistant who also heard the book was good. Sure enough XXX asked if it is straight out porn or on the “New York Times Best Sellers” list. I was happy to report that I was reading a somewhat reputable book for a change. XXX is forever trying to make me an intellectual like him. This may be as close as I get.

So I wanted to recommend to all of you that if you are looking for something sexy to read but something that you can read in front of your “vanilla crowd” start with “Fifty Shades of Grey”. You won’t be disappointed.

The Payoff?

I have always maintained that one of the main reasons that I became involved with Ashley Madison was to develop a “tough skin”. I also hoped to gain a greater insight into men and how they think. Sure, I wanted this information for personal reasons but I also thought that it would potentially help me at work.

So the other day on a whim Big Cheese decided he wanted to take me out to a new client with him. Now without getting into too much detail Big Cheese’s clients aren’t exactly the most scrupulous characters. In fact the whole basis for Big Cheese’s practice is to keep these deadbeats out of prison.

So before going in to meet the new client we had to stop by one of Big Cheese’s other clients’ offices. Now this guy can only be described as a Joe Pesci type only not with that quality that makes Joe Pesci endearing. This guy makes Kitty’s skin crawl and Big Cheese not only knows this but he is amused by it. This JP jerk talks to women in general and Kitty specifically like I am mentally retarded. I assure you that I have far more breeding and far more education than this jerk. The funny thing is that although I do sort of cop an attitude with this jerk I have managed to keep my cool. Yesterday when we were in his office I avoided direct eye contact by pretending to read documents but I could feel his eyes on me. He stood very close to me at certain points and I waited for him to touch me. Thankfully he didn’t. Now this guy is EXACTLY the kind of guy that hangs with hookers. One way I know this is because Big Cheese has told me and actually showed me receipts for local hotels and Victoria’s secret all in the same day. Hmmm. Call me Colombo but I think I know what’s going on here.

So, my point is that my recent tolerance for this jerk in my opinion stems from my experience with Ashley Madison. I am able to look at him a little more objectively. I look at men now as potential lovers. I think more like “I wonder if he has a big cock. I wonder if he would shut the fuck up if I agreed to fuck him.” You know that sort of thing.

After stopping into see the jerk who offered me a chocolate covered strawberry (which Big Cheese and I joked was probably laced with something) Big Cheese took me over to the new client’s office. This new client looked like a BABY dressed in Armani. There was something about him that was very slick but he was also very immature which Kitty attributes to his age. See, that’s EXACTLY why Kitty doesn’t go for younger men.

Anyway, I observed Baby Face. I listened to him speak. I watched his body language. In the car on the way back to the office Big Cheese asked what I thought. I told him I didn’t trust Baby Face. He asked why. I told Big Cheese it was a feeling I got. It was like the feeling I get when I can tell my kids are lying but in reality it was a feeling that I got after meeting one slick guy after another on Ashley Madison.

That part I kept to myself.

A Matter of Time

I’ve read Kat’s blog long enough to realize the dangers of a lover’s wife calling so I can’t say that I was surprised by the events of last night and I can’t say that I am surprised that of all of my lovers T-Bone’s was the wife who contacted me.

T-Bone and his wife have what seems to be knock down drag out fights. From his descriptions of her she sounds as mean as a snake. The ironic thing is that she is a school teacher and holds the minds of young children in her hands.

So last night just after I wrote my “Click of a Button” blog which really had nothing to do with T-Bone, he and I began to text. He had cancelled yet again on a meeting we had but this time I was ready for it so I just let it go. Somehow he made a comment about Angry Guy and how controlling he is. I responded with a text that said “Yours is not a marriage that I envy.” To which his reply was “What does that mean?” Now I’ve been trapped in these text wars before and I was heading up to bed so I didn’t want to get into it but basically I said that I have to do what I have to do to make my marriage work. I understand he has to do the same but just as I respect his marriage, he should respect mine.

I wasn’t surprised when I didn’t hear back right away so I went up to bed. The next morning I checked my phone. There were several missed texts from him as well as a missed call and voicemail. See, this is exactly why 1.Kitty doesn’t like to give out my cell phone and 2. Why I take it to bed with me at night now.

So the texts were actually from Mrs. T-Bone…I think. They said basically “this is his wife. Don’t communicate with him anymore. He said you were fat.” Lovely. So Mrs. T-Bone is one of those women who makes herself feel better by hurting other people. Kitty is not a bit surprised by this and if I were a different person I would have texted back “He said fucking you is like fucking the Grand Canyon.” But Kitty is just not that type of Kitty.

Now if I were counseling my 10 year old daughter which by the way that’s exactly the mentality of Mrs. T-Bone (a 10 year old MEAN GIRL), I would say “I will lose the weight but you will always be a dirty cunt whose vagina feels like the Grand Canyon.”

The voice mail was T-Bone just saying not to contact him anymore. Okay, no problem. For a minute I thought maybe he didn’t mean it and left the message to appease her. His voice was like the voices that the hostages used when they were sending messages to the U.S. from Iran back in the 80’s. But in all honesty I just don’t want to be around that toxicity.

I remembered all the phone conversations T-Bone and I had. I remembered all the whining he did about his aches and pains and what a mean cunt his wife is. I don’t remember him EVER asking about my day. He NEVER asked how I was feeling or what I wanted. That was never a problem for me because I knew that this day would come. I knew that if I got attached to T-Bone when we had to part ways it would hurt. The fact that he is completely self absorbed makes it very easy for Kitty to say “goodbye”. See, Kitty is learning. Kitty did not shed even one tear for this jerk who never gave a damn about me or my feelings. Really, he and Mrs. T Bone deserve each other. I hope they live a long and happily miserable life together.

And so…with the click of the button T-Bone is gone from my cell phone. He is gone from my Facebook. He is gone from my Ashley Madison. T-Bone is gone from my life.

And With the Click of a Button…

Every now and then Kitty has an admirer. Sadly they come and go. Kitty is immune to it by now. That makes me sad. I used to really get wet over my admirers. Oh Ben, I know you are going to ask me if I get mildly damp or soaking wet. Well, there was a point where I got extremely wet and now I just wait for the day that they lose interest. I can see the signs now. Like I said, it makes me sad to be so cynical.

Recently I had what I thought was an admirer. He initiated contact. He read my blog and commented. Then we began communicating via email. We even met in person once. He emailed me after that and told me he was attracted to me and wanted to get to know me. He said he wanted to make me his "mistress". It figures that when I told him that I was attracted to him I never heard from him again. I figured he was busy. He travels a lot for work but still…I noticed that he logged onto Ashley Madison and Yahoo and yet weeks went by and I didn’t get any kind of email from him or any sign that he wanted to keep in touch.

Today I noticed that he left a message on yahoo for SOMEONE. I have no idea who but it was obviously some sort of signal. Of course I emailed Ben who jokingly said “there are many men who have proven to you that they are closely related to dogs or pigs”.

Then without even thinking I clicked that little “X” next to the “admirer’s” name on Yahoo and deleted him. Suddenly he was gone. Later I logged onto Ashley Madison and saw that he was logged on as well. So you have time to log onto Ashley Madison but you have no time to email Kitty? I clicked that little “X” next to his name on my Ashley Madison favorites list and with the click of a button he is gone from my life forever.

Don’t fuck with Naughty Kitty. I have no patience for nonsense.

Loyal Kitty

I suppose part of the prowling scene is the venting between lovers regarding their spouses. I typically don’t vent a lot. My home life is pretty good aside from lack of good sex. I have heard on several occasions from lovers and prospective lovers that their wives act badly or treat them badly. Sometimes I even receive emails telling me that they fucked their wives the night before or WHATEVER. These men open up to Kitty. And while there is a part of me that feels honored that these men feel comfortable enough to open up to me, there is another part of me that does not know how to respond.

Take for example T-Bone. He tells me just about everything. Since I know him in person I have become very protective of him and his feelings. When he tells me stories about how mean his wife is I never know whether I should insult her which is what I feel like doing or be more nonchalant. I can’t help putting myself in her place and thinking “If I were married to T-Bone…” now don’t get me wrong. I am not fantasizing about being married to T-Bone. I am simply looking at the wonderful lifestyle that he provides for his seemingly ungrateful wife and it makes me angry that she acts so disrespectfully. T-Bone is just one example mind you. I hear stories from several men.

Another thing is how to react when a man emails me that he fucked his wife the night before. Do I respond “Good for you?” Do I respond “Mazol Tov”??? What??? Because even though it shouldn’t, it sort of hurts a little that as bad as these men seem to have it, they still manage to get some sort of sex from their wives and believe me I KNOW they enjoy it which brings up the question “Why do you even NEED Kitty?”

"Can We Be Honest?"

I received this link from a very unlikely source. He may have been trying to send me a negative message but I am going to be an optimist here and post it because I think it's kind of funny. I hope you do too.

Sunday

It’s been a while since I have felt the touch of a man, run my tongue over the head of a cock. After a period of time Kitty gets frisky. I get restless. I want to PLAY. Weekends are particularly rough for some reason. All my playmates are occupied with their families and have not time for Kitty.

Occasionally I’ll get a text from XXX or have a quick text conversation with The Client but they are generic and not at all sexual.

I can usually count on a Sunday morning correspondence with Ben who I have grown to adore in a cyber sexual sort of way. Feeling particularly frisky yesterday I emailed him:

If I lived closer I would wrap my lips around your swollen cock. I would suck firmly and move my head up and down slowly at first then I would pick up the pace and suck you harder to climax.

And when you recover, I would ride on top, and then you would roll me over and fuck me from behind until I moan in ecstasy.

I love your hands and your fingers all over me as well as inside rubbing that g- spot. God I can’t wait.

You cover my pussy with your whole hand, gently massaging. Feeling me opening wide, lips puffy, soft, and slippery. Occasionally you slip your middle finger slightly inside, and play with the entrance. And then you recoil for a moment, to lick some wetness off your fingers, slowly. I beg for you to get back to business. You return this time to slowly stroke my clit. I writhe, as this time you bring me to cum, and cum again...

I kiss you hungrily as you work me with your hand. My Pussy aches for your throbbing cock. I reach down to stroke you and rub the tip of your head over my clit...

You rise up on top, propped up on my elbows, as I stroke your throbbing cock against my clit, you are savoring the view of my voluptuous body, my pussy throbbing, calling for you, my black bush wet with your love juices. You let me play my wet hand stroking you. You pull away slightly, letting me stroke your hard on, playing with your head. And then you lean closer so that I can rub your cock and pleasure myself with my favorite toy...

And then you take over. ...

You roll me over, put me up on my knees -- my pussy, thighs, and ass covered in my own wetness. Or maybe you bend me over your Wedge, you take charge, get up on your knees, and fuck me hard hard hard from behind.

After you probe deep inside, you withdraw, tapping your cock head against my pussy lips. Hold my hips for control. Then just an inch inside, then you withdraw. And again. I push my sweet ass back, looking for Mr. Hardon, but you play coy, hard to get. "Fuck me!" I cry. I demand. And what are you but my master. And doesn’t a master have to please his slave? And doesn’t a slave have amazing power over her supposed master? You pull back. Slap slap slap on my wet cheeks. I wiggle my little ass in pleasure. And then you impale me on your cock. We cum together.

"I Live to Serve You"

One of my son’s latest toys is an iPhone. I am sure you are well aware of Siri but Kitty is about 20 years behind in technology so Siri is new to me. For those of you who ARE down here in the dark ages with Kitty Siri is the electronic secretary that comes along with the iPhone. Listen, I don’t know all the details so forgive me if this post is full of inaccuracies. All I know is that she is ruining the male youth of today.

Now you can imagine that Kitty’s teenage son must be “SOMETHING” if he is genetically linked to me. I don’t want to go too much into detail but this kid is working Siri’s ass off in a cyber kind of way. Since he is a kid and really has no use for all the administrative features that an IPhone offers the kid makes Siri do all sorts of tricks to amuse him.

Oh sure, he tells her to set timers and send texts to his girlfriend. He also insults her and humiliates her. I give that little electronic secretary credit. She takes his verbal abuse and always responds with a polite come back. I would have told him to go fuck himself pretty much right away which is just another reason that Kitty would not make a very good secretary.

The other night he was talking to Siri and asked her to do some mundane task. She completed the task and my son said “Thank you Siri.”

Damn if that Siri didn’t respond by saying “I live to serve you.”

My son looked at me and smiled a fiendish grin to which my response was “God help whoever agrees to become your wife.”

What Now?

When XXX offered up sex to comfort me that stirred up all sorts of feelings as you can imagine. My initial reaction was “How about tomorrow?” Yea, see that’s yet another problem that Kitty has. I speak…or in this case text before I think. Luckily XXX had a meeting scheduled so we agreed to talk about it before jumping in.  In the meantime I called him while on one of my infamous dog-walks. After talking to XXX I felt 1.pathetic and 2. Like I don’t want to fuck up our friendship again by sleeping with him.

I felt pathetic because even though I know he doesn’t mean it this way, his offer felt like kind of a “let me just fuck you and get it over with so I don’t have to hear you complain anymore.” Like I said, I know he didn’t mean it that way. He told me he didn’t. The problem which we both realize is that things will end and they will probably end badly like the first time. I’m just not sure I have it in me to fight my way back to this place where we are now which is completely open honest and fond of each other as platonic friends. Some things have changed for the better between us but the ending will be the same.

Kitty hopped on Ashley Madison for a record breaking 10 minutes this time. In that time I got two requests from men whose pictures feature them in briefs (underwear). Can I just tell you men out there that no woman thinks briefs are sexy? If you wear them that’s fine. My suggestion is just don’t advertise it.

At some point in the day T-Bone texted me as though nothing happened. He obviously did not think anything of the day’s events. Granted there was no drama. Kitty is not one for drama. I think Mrs. T Bone is one for drama so I could see that he wasn’t clear on my not being pleased. I decided to write him an email. The email was as kind as I could make it but basically it said “I want attention and you haven’t had your dick inside of me in a while so I think we should call it a day.” Kitty used nicer words and prettied it up but you get the gist.

A few weeks ago T-Bone had made a comment that if I ever broke it off with him he would be upset but would not press the issue. At the time the thought of ending things with T-Bone couldn’t have been farther from my mind. When I clicked the “send” button on that email I fully expected not to hear from T-Bone again…but I did…and it broke my heart. He wanted me to change my mind. My heart wasn’t completely in that email in the first place so how could I change my mind? I told him that I didn’t want to hurt him. To make a long story short we ended up talking at our regular lunch time. We still have a lot to work out. T-Bone doesn’t understand how I feel or why I feel that way. I try to explain. I try to be kind when I explain. We’ll see…

Fun Kitty is DEAD…Meet the New and Improved Kitty

One mistake that Kitty makes over and over again is that I always start off as “Fun Kitty”. Men become enamored with me because I am easy to talk to. On some levels I think like a man and I talk like a man. If I’ve heard it once I have heard it a million times that “You are SO cool, Kitty”. It’s easy for me to be this way before I start fucking a man. I am sincerely interested in what their issues are with their wives. I want to please them. I want to know what their marriage is lacking so that I can provide that for them. I am happy to do all this. They open up to me. This must be a gift I have or something because my entire life I have always had many male friends. I love men I really do.

The problem comes AFTER I start fucking these guys. It’s not their fault. They are just opening up and being honest just as they have always been. The problem is that Kitty changes. Oh, I still want to be thought of as “Fun Kitty” but I want these guys to realize that now that they have reached the “promised land” with Kitty, maybe there should be a little respect decorum tact. Again, I don’t blame them at all. I am the one who changes, not them.

But in all honesty once Kitty fucks these guys I no longer want to hear them whine about their wives. I don’t give a shit why women on Ashley Madison aren’t returning their winks. And I sure as hell don’t want to hear that they have nothing left for Kitty because they fucked someone else the day before.

When does Kitty get MY turn? Haven’t I put myself behind enough wives, children, and careers? When is a guy going to look at me and say “Wow, you REALLY ARE just the perfect little friend!” When is he going to appreciate the risks I take to spend time with HIM? WHEN?!?!?!

I am beginning to see why the women on Ashley Madison seem so harsh on their profiles. I am beginning to see why they flat out say they want young guys or whatever it is they want. At least they are putting it right out there. I can’t tell you how many men claim they want a long term affair with Kitty then suddenly not so much.

So from now on I am no longer “Fun Kitty”. I am “All About ME Kitty”.

Silver Lining?

When things ended with T-Bone there was really only one person I could talk to about it…well one person who really knows me. I tried to run things through my head on my own. I tried to self talk myself out of feeling sad but I started to get angry. When Kitty gets angry things can get ugly. I figured I have listened to him vent enough about his Cunt wife so I decided to text XXX hoping he could offer some comfort.

We began texting. He was at work and I knew I should not bother him there but I have to give him credit he really stepped up.  So we texted back and forth for a bit. I gave him a summary of what happened and how things ended. He asked, “So did he break up with you?”

Kitty:“Does it really matter? It’s done”

A few more texts then XXX texts “If you need me, I’m here for you in any capacity.”

Kitty: “LOL…ANY capacity???? Be careful

XXX: "I can meet you if it helps. Anything”

Kitty: “Thanks. I have the kids now. Are you offering sex?”

XXX:”Yes, if it helps”

Kitty:”Wow”

To Be Continued…

"He's Out There"

Today I had to say “goodbye” to T-Bone. It broke my heart. This was a hard one for sure. He was really really nice and I liked him a lot. The bottom line is that he’s going through a bunch of shit at home and between that and travelling well…that all equates to no time to play with  Kitty.

Kitty is more than happy to listen to T-Bone’s problems in fact I do it a lot with a lot of different men and women. Kitty is a pretty good listener. I spent a good part of the morning yesterday listening to XXX’s problems with his wife. But this morning when T-Bone started texting me what was going on at home I got that familiar sick feeling in the pit of my stomach.

I emailed my friend Ben just to say good morning. He and I email through the day. I told him that T-Bone had to cancel yet again. I asked Ben if it was time to move on. The question was rhetorical. Kitty knows.

Ben of course answered my email almost immediately “yes you need to move on”. He sent a few more emails trying to make Kitty laugh then wrote “He’s out there”.

We’ll see. Right now I just don’t think so.

He's Baaaacccckkkkk!!!

Today didn’t start off very well. Kitty’s trainer friend was being sort of an asshole this morning. Work is crazy. I had a long day then was supposed to go to the trainer’s house for a party. I was not happy about that but some of my other friends were counting on me so I pulled it together and got through the day.

T-Bone was due to come home and I hadn’t heard from him. I wasn’t really surprised because there is a big time difference and I knew that he’d be exhausted. I know I have said it over and over but there is something about T-Bone that makes me feel at ease. I don’t have that sense of urgency if I don’t hear from him. I love that about us. I know he’s around and I am here for him. We are both busy but each make time to text or speak even if it’s only for a few minutes. I knew he couldn’t text from where he was so I sent him a sexy little email. We haven’t done that since we started texting so I thought he’d enjoy it. I didn’t hear back from him but sure enough I got a text this afternoon that his plane just landed.

Is it bad that I smile when I get that text? First of all I worry about T-Bone’s safety when he is at work and in the air. Second it makes me feel good that he thinks about me and texts me right away. So we texted back and forth a little and he told me that he brought me some chocolates. Is he sweet or what? So I asked him of course if we could melt some down for our next play date. T-Bone being T-Bone made a smart ass comment that did not translate via text then luckily said of course we could melt some down and he’d lick it off my nipples. Now THAT’s more like it, T-Bone!

A little while later we spoke on the phone. He said he was carb loading because there was some chick who wants to marathon fuck him. I wonder who that could be. Anyway, T-Bone was in a good mood and that put me in a good mood.

Once the day was finally done I was able to sit at the computer and check my email. I will give you three guesses who emailed me…Oh you’ll never guess…G! G emailed me!! I was so shocked I couldn’t believe it! He asked me to email him if I was still interested. Hmmm...Let me think...is Kitty interested in contacting the best Ashley Madison hook-up EVER?!?!?! I emailed him back of course! That was just a few minutes ago. I know he’s been down south for work but that’s about it so I haven’t heard back but I can’t wait to hear what he’s been up to!

T-Bone is back and G is back!! Life is good.

Kitty's Cable Dilemma

Kitty was having a pretty good day today…WAS being the operative word. Big Cheese was finally back in the office. He started out by taking me out to breakfast. I know…RIGHT?!?!? Pretty nice don’t cha think??? Okay, I’m gonna be completely honest here. He didn’t TECHNICALLY take me OUT for breakfast. We ordered breakfast sandwiches and coffee from the bagel place down the hall and ate them at our desks. Kitty is completely fine with that. I was hoping to get the “office meeting” out of the way. Every time Big Cheese is out, I pretty much have to write off the next day entirely. He calls an “office meeting” which entails me sitting with him to straighten his desk, sort his mail and read his email together. Even though Kitty is not his “secretary” you would never know it.

So anyway, no sooner did we get our meeting underway one of Big Cheese’s clients waltzed in. The phone was ringing off the hook. At one point in the morning I was talking to one client on the phone and another client walked in and bowed at my feet. Yes…can you believe it?!?! This is the client that told Big Cheese I was “MEAN”. If by “mean” you mean Kitty is a ball-breaker then…okay…YES, I am “MEAN”. So this client was totally kissing my ass and let’s face it Kitty LOVES a guy who kisses my ass even when I know he is full of shit. I wondered a little bit if his partner said something to him about me. Remember? His partner is THE Client. The client who was trying to fuck Kitty.

So anyway Kitty was having a pretty good day. I also got some nice emails from F who is away on a business trip, Ben of course who ALWAYS makes me smile and later in the morning T-Bone emailed me from his business trip.

On my way out I stopped off to see XXX who is in a particularly good mood lately and coming off as very flirty but Kitty is definitely taking that with a grain of salt and just enjoying our friendship.

So Kitty’s afternoon appointment was cancelled so I came home thinking that I would sit down and write a nice blog post. Well, when I tried to open my email I realize I was not getting cable internet. I immediately ran out back where the cable line is and sure enough the landscapers that Angry Guy hired to come over had cut the cable line. GOOD WORK GENIUSES!!!

To be honest I am not sure exactly WHO to blame for this one. The landscapers cut the line yes however the line was protruding out of the ground for two reasons 1. It was never buried deep enough in the ground 2. One reason it was not buried deep enough is because FUCKING Angry Guy planted a stupid ass tree right up against the fence and now the roots are pulling absolutely EVERYTHING up!!!! Can you tell that Kitty is frustrated????

So Kitty and Angry Guy have this constant battle over these stupid trees that he has planted in the back yard which are now overgrown and destroying everything. I happened to run into my next door neighbor. She just allowed her boyfriend to move in with her so we were both venting. I told her about my list. Yes, Kitty has a “List of things to do when Angry Guy smokes himself to death”. Oh sure, some of you may think Kitty is mean and Kitty is cruel for saying that but guess what? Kitty is being realistic. In this day and age if you are a heavy smoker, overweight, stressed and have a bad family history like Angry Guy you had BETTER get your affairs in order. Today I have decided the #1 thing on my list is that I am going to do is call the tree guy and have those fucking trees all cut down.

Awkward Conversations

T-Bone and I talk on the phone just about every day these days unless of course he is travelling for work.

Some days we talk about his kids. Some days we talk about his wife. Somedays we talk about his work. We always joke and we always laugh. He can ask me anything and I will tell him the truth. I can ask him anything if I can muster up the courage. I NEVER ask about feelings or love or anything along those lines. Occasionally he will say something completely sexy to me and I have no idea how to react mainly because like today I was sitting at my desk with my office door open.

We had quick conversations about the use of condoms and he told me he wants me to “ride his cock”. Now how can Kitty reply to that statement while sitting at my desk with my office door open?

I SO want to be able to talk nasty to T-Bone because I know for a fact that he loves it.

There are two issues that T-Bone and I dance around from time to time and I just never know the right answer. I am dying to get him back into a nice private hotel room where we can really speak frankly face to face.

One question T-Bone continues to ask me is how his looks are compared to other men. Now T-Bone is cute in my opinion but I have tried over and over to explain to him that it is not his looks that turn me on. Okay, yes, his big hard cock makes Kitty wet. Just thinking about it makes me drool but what REALLY turns Kitty on is the way T-Bone talks, the things he says and the way he says them. He has a Jersey/Philly accent but he’s smart. He’s a little rough around the edges but then out of nowhere he will call me “Sweetie”.  JEEZ-US! I DON’T KNOW!!! I WANT to say the right thing to him but whenever the topic comes up T-Bone never seems satisfied with my answer. DAMN!

The other awkward conversation is of course the “are we seeing other people?” conversation. Right now the answer is “no” for both of us…I think. There is a part of me that doesn’t want to know. There is a part of me that doesn’t want to have that conversation because after all Kitty is supposed to be all about fun…RIGHT?!?!

But then there is that part of Kitty that gets hurt whenever I see that T-Bone has logged onto Ashley Madison. Or occasionally he will tell me about women hitting on him when he is out. Even when he talks about having sex with his wife gives me a little pang in the heart. I thought I could do this. I thought I could play with T-Bone without getting attached and here I am…attached.

So…as with everything else related to prowling Kitty has to just see what happens. When did playing get so hard?

Women are ASSHOLES!

Kitty has come to the conclusion that A LOT of women are assholes. Not all women…just a lot that I happen to be hearing about lately.

I’ve been hearing stories about XXX’s wife for years. T-Bone tells me stories about his wife and it’s a miracle he hasn’t hit her in my opinion. She sounds fucking mean as a snake.  Another friend of mine just told me that when he travels for work, there is “hell to pay” when he gets back. WTF?!?! This guy is traveling for work which I am thinking provides a pretty nice lifestyle for his wife. His kids are older so what the FUCK is her problem?!?!?! These women practically FORCE their husbands into Kitty’s arms!

This morning my kids were off to Sunday school. I was trying in the worst way to get out of going to the gym without feeling guilty. XXX couldn’t meet me for breakfast and of course my blonde trainer friend was full of empty promises telling me to text her in the morning to workout. I wasn’t at all surprised when I did and she said she was going out to buy rock climbing shoes. I am rolling my eyes as I type this because there are not FUCKING rocks to climb where we live!!! What an ASSHOLE!!

Okay so no problem, she blew me off so in my head I made my own workout plan. Then I get a text from her saying she needs my help with a playlist, Facebook and a menu for a party that she wants to have. So I text her back, "how about coming over now and we can work on it?" To which her reply was “gotta shower and leave town. Want to get there and back. Come with!”

What the fuck is wrong with her?!?!?! She asks me for help then can’t make fucking time for it?!?!?! Now keep in mind this is an ongoing thing with her and it drives me bananas. This chick is a TROPHY WIFE!!! She has one fucking kid!!! She can go shopping any other fucking day of the week.

And how thoughtless is she that she thinks I will just pick up and leave my kids to drive with her so that SHE can shop?!?!? WHAT AN ASSHOLE!!!

I considered texting her or calling her just to alert her how selfish and assholeish she was being and then I realized WHAT’s the POINT?

I received an email from a male reader the other day who asked if I have any female friends. I told him yes and could not explain why they are just not enough for me. Well…Hammer…if you are reading this…this is why I surround myself with men. Because WOMEN ARE ASSHOLES.

Where Did They Go?

I’ll admit that being busy at work is no excuse for not keeping up with my blogging buddies. For that I apologize. I have been trying to work and write my own blog and keep up with playmates. The other day when all my playmates were travelling I had the opportunity to check in to some of my favorite blogs which are listed to the right here if you are interested.

So low and behold when I clicked on the links several of them had been removed!!! What the fuck is going on here?!?!?!? Kitty needs her CRACK!!!!

So now of course I am feeling guilty and sad. I feel guilty for not keeping in touch and sad because whatever is going on with my fellow bloggers (who have become cyber friends) must be some bad shit for them to take down their blogs.

So if you happen to be reading out there and have removed your blog ( Riff, Adam and Holly for example) I still want to keep in touch and hear what is going on in your lives.

My love and best wishes goes out to all of you.

XOXOxooxoxoxox

Kitty's Good Deed

It may be hard for some of you to believe but beneath this cold and heartless woman who thinks nothing of fucking other men while my husband works his heart out for his family and the woman that he believes is loving and faithful is really a warm and giving friend.

Back in the fall when Kitty was going through my little “depression” for lack of a better word I agreed to help a friend of mine by walking her dog every day after work. At the time I was only working a half day and trying to stay out of trouble. I was also looking for ideas for starting my own business and since I am a huge dog lover some friends and I thought dog walking might be a good start. I know…what the hell was I thinking?!!?!?

Well, it didn’t take me long to realize that this dog walking gig was a terrible inconvenience. First of all Big Cheese and XXX both decided they wanted me to work more hours which meant that I had to come home, walk the dog then drive back to work which not only involved a good amount of driving but tolls as well.

I didn’t have the heart to let my friend down by quitting on her. She assured me that her regular sitter would be back at “the end of March”. So does that mean March 16^th or March 31^st????

Well, it is looking like it is March 31^st with no end in sight. I will be letting her know that March 31^st is it for me and I have let her know that my other employers have offered me more hours in April so I hope she is prepared.

The real issue with this whole thing is that it completely interferes with play dates. Originally that was a good thing. Over the past few months with the few play dates that I have had I have managed but SERIOUSLY…

I began using the time to talk to T-Bone on the phone. We had some nice long chats while I walked the dog but when we tried to plan a play date and I explained that I’d have to walk the dog before meeting him, T-Bone said “I’m about to get a gun and put a bullet through that dog’s head”. T-Bone was joking of course.

As I have told people these past few months when they tell me I am crazy, “I tried to do something nice for a friend. I made a commitment. I wanted to fulfill my commitment. I have learned my lesson.”

Apple Strudel

Last week all of my playmates were travelling for work. That’s no problem aside for the fact that Kitty was frisky and really wanted to PLAY. But Kitty took this opportunity to enjoy work and home life a little bit. As you all know I am crazy busy at work so I was able to focus more and Angry Guy is much more at ease when I focus on him and being a “good Kitty” which basically entails sitting next to him on the couch after dinner while he watches a game on TV.

I have to admit that I enjoyed the few emails I did receive from F and T-Bone. T-Bone was also emailing me pictures. He got a new phone and takes pictures of EVERYTHING then sends them to me. At one point he sent me a picture of his dessert which was APPLE STRUDEL. T-BONE WHAT THE FUCK?!?!? I opened the picture and gained 5 pounds just looking at it!!!

Now T-Bone and I are all about “busting each other’s balls”. In local language that means we tease each other endlessly. So now I call T-Bone “Apple Strudel” affectionately of course.

When I sat down to write this blog post I wanted to talk about T-Bone and how he makes me feel. We have only been together once but we talk on the phone and text nearly every day. We talk about EVERYTHING and we laugh A LOT. That is exactly what turns Kitty on.

So after T-Bone’s (a.k.a Apple Strudel’s) trip we talked on the phone and he once again began telling me stories about how awful his wife has been behaving. Now as T-Bone’s new and loyal friend I am completely disgusted by the way she treats him and at this point really have to hold back from calling her all the names that I want to. I really have to learn how to deal with this aspect of our conversation. Kitty really has to stop thinking “well if I were your wife I would…” Kitty can’t do that…not with T-Bone…not with ANYBODY.

T-Bone once again asked me if I thought he was attractive. He asked if I thought his Ashley Madison profile and pictures are alluring. Now am I the only one who thinks this is a conflict of interest???

I tried to assure T-Bone that his pictures are fine and he is an attractive guy but what I am unable to get across to my friend and lover is that it is not his looks that totally turn Kitty on. What turns Kitty on about T-Bone is his personality at least his personality towards me. T-Bone is very thoughtful and attentive to Kitty. Kitty LOVES that. At one point he had to abruptly end our call then texted me that he was sorry and did not mean to be rude. He also made a comment like “I always try to make time for you”. OMG! He totally does!!! My T-Bone always ALWAYS makes time to talk to me even if he is at work himself.

I have said before that T-Bone has a certain way of making me feel hot and desirable even though Kitty knows other men don’t see it. Now I am not going to harp on this because I am not a boo hoo type of kitty but there is a sincerity about T-Bone that I just adore.

Last but not least I don’t know if the banter between T-Bone and Kitty turns him on but it sure turns me on. When I hear him say “here we go!” when I start to tease him, it just makes me smile. I know that he is smiling too. I think he is so used to being criticized by Mrs. T-Bone that my teasing is an innocent game. I hope he enjoys it because I sure do.

Yesterday was Friday. We generally don’t communicate on the weekends and I know he has a lot going on with the Mrs. This weekend. She was having a party last night for her girlfriends. T-Bone wanted me to crash her party. There was a point when I thought Mrs. T-Bone and I would be friends if I weren’t fucking her husband but now after some of the stories T-Bone tells me about her I think not.

Anyway T-Bone gave me the signal to call him on my way home from work. He was stuck in traffic. When he answered he said “What’s going on Baby?” I got goose bumps. That’s the first time he ever really called me “Baby” and whenever he shows any type of affection it makes my heart melt. We had a quick conversation as we both drove home. He told me about his weekend events and then his phone went dead or cut off but we were disconnected.

I hope T-Bone is okay. That’s the problem with prowling. There’s never a way to truly know.

Should I Stay or Should I Go?

Last night while Angry Guy took his shower before bed I fumbled to get on line quickly to disengage my Ashley Madison profile…yet AGAIN.

I reactivated for all of 6 hours yesterday…maybe 8. I was disheartened earlier in the day by the fact that I am just not getting the attention that I want need crave. I did have a quick conversation with T-Bone and while I adore him to no end he is new to this game and still looking for other women…other opportunities. Me? I’m looking for that one special friend who I can meet on a somewhat regular basis to enjoy each other’s company…each other’s bodies.

While I was checking to see who was interested in Naughty Kitty on Ashley Madison I was also messaging my old friend Kittycat. She’s part of the reason I got into Ashley Madison in the first place only she saw the light. I always seem to be just a step behind Kittycat when it comes to these things. She asked me why I was back on. I told her that I’m lonely. I told her that I miss sex. The thought of going through this over and over horrifies me. How many more men will I meet in dingy hotel rooms? How many more strangers will I have to fuck before I realize that they are all the same? Even the way they claim they are different is exactly the same.

So I removed my profile and once again have to live my life as a married woman…monogamous by choice…not my choice but still…

Maybe it’s the fact that I have been awake since 3 a.m. Maybe it’s the fact that 4 completely different men have grown bored with me all at the same time…not to mention all the men before that. Maybe, he simply is just not out there for me.

Passive Aggressive Much?

Angry Guy has been Needy/Sad Guy lately. I tend to think it’s a passive aggressive thing that he does. Occasionally he will look me directly in the eyes and say “Love me?” WAIT!!! STOP!!! I’ve fallen for this one too many times before. I have taken this opportunity on several occasions to open a dialogue about our sex life…or LACK thereof. It never ended well. So taking the advice of so many wonderful friends I have adopted the “don’t do the same things and expect a different reaction.”

Now when Angry Guy asks “Love me?” I look him straight in the eye and tell him EXACTLY what he wants to hear. “Of COURSE!” I say. Last night he added, “Are you IN love with me????” Ahhh…he thought he had me there. Kitty has learned believe me so Kitty looked Angry guy right in the eyes and though of the wonderful things he does do for our family and managed to say “Of course. I am IN love with you.” Of course my kids were looming and my daughter made a big fuss of the whole thing by telling me that I should “tell Daddy that you love him more!” TRAITOR!

Does Kitty think Angry Guy is suspicious of my prowling? Maybe. Sometimes I feel a little paranoid after T-Bone tells me stories about how his friends catch their wives cheating. The only clue that Angry Guy can possibly pick up on is that I am no longer nagging him for sex and I am as pleasant as pleasant can be.

Before this opens a whole dialogue about why Angry Guy won’t fuck Kitty let me say that I have gone over this and over this for years. I have gone over it with friends. I have gone over it with each and every one of my lovers. Kitty has an idea why Angry Guy is not as sexual as Kitty but Kitty can’t force Angry Guy to see a doctor. Kitty can’t force Angry Guy to stop smoking, eat healthy, exercise. A wise friend of mine told me that her husband drives her bananas. They have been married for years and years. One day she told me “I can’t change him. I can only change my reaction to him.” I couldn’t agree more.

Cheerleader

Okay boys. If you thought this was going to be a post about a threesome with a bunch of blonde, busty cheerleaders you had better move on. You got it; this is another feel good post about me and XXX. We were working together yesterday. It was a tough one. Apparently he had a rough morning with his assistants so by the time I arrived the atmosphere was tense. In an effort to lighten the mood XXX had me tell a funny story to his assistants which was sexual in nature. Needless to say they did not laugh. XXX was extremely apologetic but I spent the rest of the afternoon quietly surfing the internet. At one point XXX walked by and saw that I was logged onto my Ashley Madison account. He smiled his devilish smile at me. So I took that as an invitation and went into his office to discuss the activity on Ashley Madison.

I told XXX that Dodger had commented that my photo on Ashley Madison did not do me justice. XXX had me log onto my account and he agreed. He said he would take a better picture of me. He said I am more beautiful in person and my picture makes me look like a Mennonite Grandmother. Yeah…XXX is a CHARMER isn’t he?!!?!

He also took a look at some of the prospects who have emailed me…one in particular. XXX is supportive of my Ashley Madison activity only because he knows me. He knows that Kitty is a good kitty and really just wants someone nice to play with. Unfortunately XXX is committed to wasting his life waiting for his wife to take him back so that he can live forever in a celibate state. So XXX is trying to be a supportive friend although I can see from the look in his eyes that he knows these men I am communicating with are TROUBLE…one in particular. XXX also knows that he is going to have to pick up the pieces just as he has been doing so I guess he wants to brace himself.

This afternoon I stopped by XXX’s office to say goodbye for the weekend. He was alone. We talked again about the Ashley Madison situation and what kitty is looking for in a playmate. I told XXX that I am looking for him without all the bullshit that we had. Once again the subject turned to our affair. Once again I assured him that what happened between us was for the best. He has fond memories of our affair and at times I do too. He had tears in his eyes as we were talking about it. I never saw that from him before. I told him that I went back to read some of my blog posts from back then (September/October 2011). I reminded him that although the sex was good afterwards he spent our time together whining about how he wanted Angry Guy to give me the attention I deserve. I told him that wasn’t sexy. We joked a little about oral sex. I made the mistake of telling him that oral is not his “strong suit”. He feigned taking offense to my remark. I explained that G spoiled me by giving me absolute perfect oral. XXX asked what G did that made it perfect so I tried to explain it.

You are now asking, “What’s your point Kitty?” Well, the whole time we were having this conversation XXX was totally stroking my ego. He insisted our love affair was wonderful and that he didn’t want to end it yadda yadda. He asked me what he should do about his situation with his wife. I told him to go back to her and have an affair with me. To which his response was.

“Kitty, people got hurt last time. I’m not going to do that again. I know you SAID you weren’t hurt but…” It was at that point that I realized this man really knows me. He is absolutely right. I was devastated at the end of our affair. I did love XXX. I DO love XXX. We both agree that we can’t be together. We both agree that his wife’s mood swings will drag us down and I agree with XXX that I can’t be part of that.

This man is my friend, my supporter and he is my biggest cheerleader and since he can’t fulfill my needs, he is going to do what he can to help me find someone who can.

One of my special new friends on Ashley Madison emailed me that he wanted to be “the new XXX with a different handle”. My new special friend has got some pretty big shoes to fill but nobody wants him to succeed more than me.