Wednesday, April 25, 2012


XXX and I are at sort of a weird point with our friendship. We are friends by his definition. I consider us friends as well…”work friends”. Do you all have different types of friends? XXX mention a while back that we should go to dinner or for drinks. That is impossibility for me. I invited him for lunch the other day via text. He misunderstood and thought my text was code. We finally caught up in person today and hashed it out. XXX and I communicate much better in person…and in bed. When he told me he thought my text was code I told him “I’m pretty easy to understand. When I ask you to lunch it means ‘do you want to go to lunch?’ If I want to suck your dick I will let you know straight out.” Man did XXX turn beet red when I said that but by this point I am so frustrated with his mood swings. I have to say that I have changed in that way from when we were first having our affair. For whatever reason his weird relationship with his wife transfers over into our relationship only there is a role reversal. XXX is his wife in our relationship and I become him. He is always saying now that he doesn’t ever know whether he is “in or out” with her. I pointed out to him the other day that I can’t tell anymore whether I am “in or out” with him. I do love that about XXX…not that I can’t tell whether I am “in or out” but I can discuss it with him. Oh, I know that I am always in. I have to be a patient and loyal friend to him and I am.

So back to the definition of “Friend”. Webster’s defines friend as:

1 a: one attached to another by affection or esteem b: acquaintance

2 a: one that is not hostile b: one that is of the same nation, party, or group

3: one that favors or promotes something (as a charity)

4: a favored companion

In light of the confusion with XXX I realized that he and I may never be the kind of friends that socialize outside of work. Hence, we are “Work Friends”. My real life friends and I go out to lunch, to each other’s houses, shopping. We socialize outside of work. Then I have my gym friends who I just meet at the gym for class or we chat while we are on the treadmills.

Then of course I have my online friends. Some on Facebook and some from Ashley Madison. These are the friends that I may never meet in person but we email several times a week which has its merits.

I also have a select number of male friends that I have fucked once and although we will never meet in person again we keep in touch via chat or email.

The other night I had a quick but sweet chat online with “Unsatisfied”. I see him online often but generally do not initiate a chat. He and I agreed to meet once back in September and not meet again. We have chatted here and there since our meeting just to say “hi” and “Happy Holidays”. I felt compelled to initiate a chat with “Unsatisfied” last night in light of the misunderstanding with XXX. I told “Unsatisfied” that our arrangement was one of the best experiences that I have had. He and I made an agreement and stuck to it. Neither of us has violated the other’s trust or the boundaries of our agreement. We never discuss meeting again which is fine by both of us. I told him last night that the encounters that I have had that have gone sour are with men who have insisted that they wanted more than just one encounter. They each claimed they wanted something ongoing and then of course did not follow through. That disappointed Kitty especially since things were going so well until I met this particular group of men. So, even though “Unsatisfied” and I were a “One and Done” we are friends by definition.

After my discussion with XXX today I am fine with just being “Work Friends”.


Ben said...

So I'll be one-and-done with you, Kitty? At least we're not like the praying mantises; the females eat the head (that is, the one with the brain and eyes) of the males during copulation. That would be ugly, wouldn't it? You can eat the littl ehead.

WestsideTori said...

Wow, you sound so much more calm and balanced already. Good for you!

When XXX thought you were inviting him to fool around, did he give you the impression that he had decided to jump back into bed with you? If so, you were one cool cookie. That's what I mean by taking back the power. Go Kitty! :-)

Naughty Kitty said...

I don't know Ben. I suppose we'll have to see how things go. Maybe you will fall madly in love with Kitty and have to make business trips out here once a month. I would like that ;)

Thanks Tori! I am feeling great! Actually I wrote this a few weeks ago. I kept pushing off posting it. XXX and I go out for breakfast on weekends and are working toward that type of friendship. We keep eachother in check. When he wants to start our affair again I put on the brakes and vis-a-vers. Right now he is one of my best friends. I am not ready to jeopardize that.

WestsideTori said...

Oh for God's sake you guys, get a room already!! ;-).

But it's still cute to see how you guys love teasing each other.

Naughty Kitty said...

Ben is hopelessly in love with Mrs. Ben and he lives half way across the country. Kitty is on sabatical tori.

Ben said...

Ms. Tori: We're working on it. Hope you are doing well.