XXX and I are at sort of a weird point with our friendship. We are friends by his definition. I consider us friends as well…”work friends”. Do you all have different types of friends? XXX mention a while back that we should go to dinner or for drinks. That is impossibility for me. I invited him for lunch the other day via text. He misunderstood and thought my text was code. We finally caught up in person today and hashed it out. XXX and I communicate much better in person…and in bed. When he told me he thought my text was code I told him “I’m pretty easy to understand. When I ask you to lunch it means ‘do you want to go to lunch?’ If I want to suck your dick I will let you know straight out.” Man did XXX turn beet red when I said that but by this point I am so frustrated with his mood swings. I have to say that I have changed in that way from when we were first having our affair. For whatever reason his weird relationship with his wife transfers over into our relationship only there is a role reversal. XXX is his wife in our relationship and I become him. He is always saying now that he doesn’t ever know whether he is “in or out” with her. I pointed out to him the other day that I can’t tell anymore whether I am “in or out” with him. I do love that about XXX…not that I can’t tell whether I am “in or out” but I can discuss it with him. Oh, I know that I am always in. I have to be a patient and loyal friend to him and I am.
So back to the definition of “Friend”. Webster’s defines friend as:
1 a: one attached to another by affection or esteem b: acquaintance
2 a: one that is not hostile b: one that is of the same nation, party, or group
3: one that favors or promotes something (as a charity)
4: a favored companion
In light of the confusion with XXX I realized that he and I may never be the kind of friends that socialize outside of work. Hence, we are “Work Friends”. My real life friends and I go out to lunch, to each other’s houses, shopping. We socialize outside of work. Then I have my gym friends who I just meet at the gym for class or we chat while we are on the treadmills.
Then of course I have my online friends. Some on Facebook and some from Ashley Madison. These are the friends that I may never meet in person but we email several times a week which has its merits.
I also have a select number of male friends that I have fucked once and although we will never meet in person again we keep in touch via chat or email.
The other night I had a quick but sweet chat online with “Unsatisfied”. I see him online often but generally do not initiate a chat. He and I agreed to meet once back in September and not meet again. We have chatted here and there since our meeting just to say “hi” and “Happy Holidays”. I felt compelled to initiate a chat with “Unsatisfied” last night in light of the misunderstanding with XXX. I told “Unsatisfied” that our arrangement was one of the best experiences that I have had. He and I made an agreement and stuck to it. Neither of us has violated the other’s trust or the boundaries of our agreement. We never discuss meeting again which is fine by both of us. I told him last night that the encounters that I have had that have gone sour are with men who have insisted that they wanted more than just one encounter. They each claimed they wanted something ongoing and then of course did not follow through. That disappointed Kitty especially since things were going so well until I met this particular group of men. So, even though “Unsatisfied” and I were a “One and Done” we are friends by definition.
After my discussion with XXX today I am fine with just being “Work Friends”.