Last night XXX and I texted back and forth quite a bit. He was consoling me. I kept trying to explain that I wasn’t so upset about losing this last lover. It was the fact that after all our conversations the first thing that popped into his head about me is that I am FAT. Oh, don’t get me wrong. I KNOW I am fat. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure that out but as I said before, I can lose the weight. But really there is more to Kitty then just the fact that I am “temporarily weight challenged”. And by the way, it’s not so much that I am fat as that I am short. I’d be the perfect weight if I were just a few inches taller.
Okay, enough about that. The point is that I am motivated to buckle down and lose the weight. More importantly I am motivated to stay on the straight and narrow with a little thing called “Fidelity”. In all honesty I have been enjoying not having to constantly look over my shoulder lately. There are no potential lovers out there other than XXX.
Last night while he was trying to pump up my ego he said that he would lick the alphabet over my body if he could. Kitty had to remind XXX that we have an agreement. XXX said “agreement for what? I never agreed to anything.” XXX really is a sweetheart. Believe me it would not take any effort at all for me to take that ride over to his place at lunch time. It wouldn’t take any effort at all for me to look into those crystal blue eyes of his then fall into his kiss. I can see myself walking up to his bedroom like so many times before. I could make love to XXX without any effort at all. My heart and soul would be completely into it. And then I remember the pain I felt when we ended the first time. At least now when one of these jerks hurt me I can go to XXX for comfort. But if I lose him again…If I lose our friendship…
So, as I like to do after losing a lover, I am going to take a break from the life of a prowler. Just a break…for now because quite frankly after all the drama with the last jerk I am sincerely enjoying that peaceful easy feeling of just being an ordinary wife and mother.