I reactivated for all of 6 hours yesterday…maybe 8. I was disheartened earlier in the day by the fact that I am just not getting the attention that I want need crave. I did have a quick conversation with T-Bone and while I adore him to no end he is new to this game and still looking for other women…other opportunities. Me? I’m looking for that one special friend who I can meet on a somewhat regular basis to enjoy each other’s company…each other’s bodies.
While I was checking to see who was interested in Naughty Kitty on Ashley Madison I was also messaging my old friend Kittycat. She’s part of the reason I got into Ashley Madison in the first place only she saw the light. I always seem to be just a step behind Kittycat when it comes to these things. She asked me why I was back on. I told her that I’m lonely. I told her that I miss sex. The thought of going through this over and over horrifies me. How many more men will I meet in dingy hotel rooms? How many more strangers will I have to fuck before I realize that they are all the same? Even the way they claim they are different is exactly the same.
So I removed my profile and once again have to live my life as a married woman…monogamous by choice…not my choice but still…
Maybe it’s the fact that I have been awake since 3 a.m. Maybe it’s the fact that 4 completely different men have grown bored with me all at the same time…not to mention all the men before that. Maybe, he simply is just not out there for me.